I don’t know what I want but I should find it, at least before it’s found in the darkness. And it’s not so much that I’m afraid of the darkness, but the simple truth known only to myself at this moment. You cannot see very well in the darkness, and if my judgment is to be impaired on such an important decision, than how truly life-changing can it become. So I’m there looking at everything as if it is some collection of souvenirs of vacations long gone.
Seeing little pieces, with memories attached, and I don’t seem to remember the order in which it all happened. I was young once. I’m not what you’d consider old, but if I belonged in this time than it would all be different. As I watch and recollect for the first time in years I start to see it is not my life, or at least not the way I want to remember it. There is this defining moment in my life, and than I realize it’s just the latest, these were all defining moments. Add another to the list. So I’ve spent years doing things I spent days forgetting about, and I wonder how much I will really care about or even acknowledge when I’m older.
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