Tonight I decided I would watch the news, on most nights I miss it due to my extreme tendencies to block out the real world. I was hoping for some controversial testimony on whether or not “two” committed suicide. I was wondering what the news would say about our President wearing stripes at dinner. I felt there would be commentary on the state of suburbia, with yet another school takeover taking place. I was greeted with, get this, twenty-one minutes (as of current count) of a police chase.

No high speed here, the person is obeying the limit, they simply don’t have license plates. The newscasters have assured me, after they told me about how he drove through my neighborhood several times, that it is definitely a DUI suspect, then definitely a 187 suspect, then definitely a hit and run, and now it’s a code four suspect. They finally got him in Whittier, but it should be noted he was driving erratically, lost a wheel and hit a fence.

You might be wondering why the LBPD didn’t manage to get the guy when he was over here. Well it should be known they are very busy blocking off streets so the CBS’ “Criminal Minds” crew can safely blow up the intersection of 4th and Atlantic.

it has now been twenty-seven minutes of a car chase, zero minutes of what is happening in our world. I suppose the fact we would displace the half hour of a daily recap with this is some apocalyptic sign, though I’m not sure what would have been shown would have really been much more enlightening. At least we still got the weather.

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