Randall Paul Jenkins, Esq. » Blog Archive

A few weeks back I found the perfect bike. It’s gorgeous, it’s designed, it has front disc brakes (no idea why I would need that), it has no chain, it’s $1200.00. Now that’s a lot for a bike, but this bike HAS NO CHAIN!!!

I got over the $1200.00 bike when I realised I would be scared to take it out in public, so I decided that I should purchase an urban bike. You know the kind that bike messengers ride? I would go urban biking (yeah i make up a lot of urban ______ sports, but that’s what we do here in the Arts District), I would ride at night and rule the streets.

Fortunately I have a former professional mountain biker in my friend Jordan Percy (who rides his bike to work every day, and once rode from Pacific Beach in San Diego, all the way up to Oceanside just because he was bored), and fortunately Jordan paid us a visit last week. We took some time out of our interviews and meetings to discuss my bike situation with Jordan.

Jordan shot down my urban bike idea in seconds, claiming those mountain/bmx hybrids were for adults who rode bmx bikes as kids and want to pretend like they still can so they get an urban bike. I tried to explain that I am exactly that person and have no issues with it, but he demanded we go another route. Jordan then suggested a fixed gear bike. I being a good friend have listened to Jordan talk about these bikes before and know I want no part in a bike that you have to peddle to slow down. I immediately deny him, and go back to the urban bike.

Jordan finally asks me why I want an urban bike and why I was so fixated on the $1200.00 bike, so I tell him the most honest 2-drink answer ever, “to intimidate people.” Now I’m (not yet) a cyclist, but I feel intimidation is a big part of cycling. I need to look like someone who rules the streets at night in the cutthroat world of urban biking.

Jordan finally convinces me to let him build me a perfect single speed bike from vintage road bike parts and some sort of cut off bars that will look mountain bike-esque but he assures me will still intimidate. We have not yet set a bike building day, but you shall be updated… and you have been warned.

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