Randall Paul Jenkins, Esq. » Entertainment http://randallpauljenkins.com Esquire?!? Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:00:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Marketing Driven Creation. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2010/07/20/marketing-driven-creation/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2010/07/20/marketing-driven-creation/#comments Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:55:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=853 There has always been the debate about how “Art” should be created. Plenty of “artists” claim art is not something that should ever be created with it’s profitability in mind. It’s always said that commercialism ruins the art, whether it be painting, photography, music, film, writing, etc.

We got a big dose this year of how the fine art community has been affected by what sells with “Exit Through The Gift Shop”. Add to that the flow of art dealers being appointed curators that started with Jeffrey Deitch and MOCA, and we see the community finely embracing the idea that “great” art is only great because someone wants it on their wall. Commercialism was always in fine art, no one ever wanted to admit it. You want proof? Every single one of “The Masters” made a very nice living painting commissioned pieces. They weren’t the ultimate “artisans” creating only from passion and for their own release. They created for purpose, for money, as a job.

It’s an interesting debate when you move the same discussion over to music. People who write music to be commercially successful rarely seem to be commercially successful, and if they admit such things would be labeled “sell-outs’. Musicians are somehow supposed to be “artists” who only make music to express their emotions. It’s one of the most popular defenses towards why people think they should be able to steal music.

Art however, IS commercial. Art has always BEEN commercial, and that is what has made it brilliant and gorgeous and life-affecting. Yes, life-affecting, exactly the same way a brilliant marketing campaign can be.

So how do we start accepting that music made for a specific commercially marketable purpose is okay? How do we even know it can turn out palatable? Easy. Cudi, Rostam (Vampire Weekend), and Bethany (Best Coast) went out and proved it can. “All Summer” only happened because of Converse.

Converse challenged these artists to make something that would make Converse seem cool across 3 fan-bases, and these artists gladly did so, and did so with so much dedication and focus that they turned it into one of the best Summer songs ever written. They could have half-assed the job, they could have taken some crappy throw away ideas and done just enough, but they did their job as creators with excellence and wound up adding even more buzz to their already peaking levels. Is Converse selling more shoes for footing the bill? I hope so, because it means more potentially spectacular marketing driven music.

Good for Converse. Good for music. Well done.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2010/07/20/marketing-driven-creation/feed/ 1 Top Singles of 2009. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/12/31/top-singles-of-2009/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/12/31/top-singles-of-2009/#comments Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:24:46 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=814 This is the yearly series of top lists of the year that is leaving.

Singles usually stand out from an album in a way in which a truly spectacular single (or two) can carry a mediocre album and make it good, or in some cases can make a great album seem mediocre by not living up to the best song. Either way there really can only be one pure ranking and that’s the single of this album of singles. See what I did there?

1. Jay-Z – Empire State Of Mind

In No Particular Order:
The Fray – You Found Me
Weezer – I Want You To
The Avett Brothers – I And Love And You
Lily Allen – The Fear
All Time Low – Weightless
Miley Cyrus – Party In The U.S.A
Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship Feat. Leighton Meister
La Roux – Bulletproof
Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling
Matt & Kim – Daylight

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/12/31/top-singles-of-2009/feed/ 0 A Rainy Day Full Of Summer Albums. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/10/13/a-rainy-day-full-of-summer-albums/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/10/13/a-rainy-day-full-of-summer-albums/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 00:07:50 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=799 What a better way to kick off rain in LA, than to listen to pop albums (and some good old Americana)?

Sherwood – Qu – iTunes
I’ve know the Sherwood guys for years, dating back to working on their first full length when they were on Sidecho. They write some ridiculously catchy songs with gorgeous harmonies (and even some gang vocals), and they are even better people than they are musicians.

The Summer Set – Love Like This – iTunes
The Summer Set was on The Militia Group for the release of their EP, and the potential of the band was immediately noticed. I’ve had the song Chelsea off “Love Like This” stuck in my head for like months, and finally I can try to get myself sick of it by listening to it on repeat all day. This album shows a realization of all that potential they showed on the EP, and gives you a promise for a pretty strong career in this whole thing.

What? You don’t like Summer? Or Pop music? Okay, I’ve got some wonderfully Americana feeling, fall enjoying, music for you also.
Andy Zipf – Our Voice Is A Weapon – iTunes
Another wonderfully simple, beautifully layered batch of songs from an artist on P is for Panda. Who knew Panda’s liked Americana so much? One of the best people in the world runs this label, so I think you can do your part to support good people/music by dropping 3 bucks on this.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/10/13/a-rainy-day-full-of-summer-albums/feed/ 0 A Little Update & Something For The Ears. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/09/18/a-little-update-something-for-the-ears/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/09/18/a-little-update-something-for-the-ears/#comments Sat, 19 Sep 2009 04:53:44 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=793 So I’ve been a resident of the “Ciudad” of Los Angeles for a whopping 4 weeks now, and I believe this is the first Friday night that I have stayed in. I owe that mostly due to the fact that I have great friends and way more people close enough for a last minute hang out. Why am I home on this Friday? Well, I have managed to acquire some kind of illness, the one that strikes me the most in the evening and makes me want to watch HIMYM season 2 as I pass out. I’ve pushed through the worst of it (I hope) and managed to catch up on quite a bit of work this week.

Some of the things you can actually go out and see right now (that at some point only lived on my computer) are MySpace layouts for Boys Like Girls and My Favorite Highway. Both these bands are amazing, and BLG have a new record out, that I’m sure you’ve heard a few songs on your radio from. MFH has a new video out, which you can see on said MySpace.

I’ve also been working on quite a few logos, print work and layouts that aren’t quite out in the public eye yet, and MySpace layouts for Andrew W.K. and The Bleach Works should be up next week. Recently I launched a website design I did for a film called The Road Less Traveled, it’s a pretty interesting concept and gives a whole new view of a part of the world we don’t all get to see.

I’d also like to bring back what may have been a feature of my blog and recommend some things, mainly because I think everyone could stand to hear some good music:
fun. – Aim & Ignite – This band has one of The Format guys in it, along with a cast of other talented musicians who all played in a few other bands and came together to create fun. I happen to think The Format’s debut was one of the most perfect complete albums ever, so at first I HATED fun., then I let it play and found that I couldn’t stop. I had to apologize to a couple good friends for ever trying to say that this record isn’t absolutely phenomenal, and even the songs I hated I now love. Lesson learned.

Third Eye Blind – Ursa Major – I never expected to be this addicted to a new 3eb record. Sure their catalogue is one that is constantly playing in my life, but did anyone really expect this resurgence? I wanted to feel this way about this record, for months now, but I knew I wouldn’t, yet here I am. I think my favourite track has to be Summer Town, it just gives you that feeling where you want to be inside, is full of classic 3eb lines, techniques, phrasing, etc that just make it the classic non-single 3eb fave. The pseudo ending is spectacular as well. If you have somehow missed everyone talking about 3eb again, you need to drive a few laps around town playing this album.

Ryan Adams – The other day I realised I haven’t listened to Ryan Adams in months, and then I proceeded to listen to it for 3 days straight. Perhaps it got me back to being a little too jaded, but I think it was exactly what my days needed. Next month will be filled with lots of Elliott Smith as well.

Hope everyone out there who still checks in on this nonsense of a website is well, I’d name you by name, but that would just get awkward.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/09/18/a-little-update-something-for-the-ears/feed/ 1 DC Gymkhana Two Infomercial. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/06/10/dc-gymkhana-two-infomercial/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/06/10/dc-gymkhana-two-infomercial/#comments Wed, 10 Jun 2009 21:38:29 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=761 I still claim that Rally Car racing is more exciting than any other motorsport. Why? Because people race over every surface and regularly hit trees and roll over, plus it’s so crazy you need a navigator. Let’s face it, if you need to be in a car chase, you want a rally car driver driving you. Or Jason Statham as a close second.

Here is Ken Block showing some impressive maneuvers over at the Port of Los Angeles.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/06/10/dc-gymkhana-two-infomercial/feed/ 0 What’s So Great About Bob Dylan? http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/21/whats-so-great-about-bob-dylan/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/21/whats-so-great-about-bob-dylan/#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 01:52:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=755 I honestly don’t get Dylan. He’s supposedly the most heralded songwriter alive, he’s supposedly this iconic standard that has experienced and found success through the entirety of the music industries existence. I have very good friends of mine who think this man is the most amazing singer/songwriter ever. People believe in this guy on an almost cult-like level like only a handful of other artists I can think of. I just don’t get it, they tell me to listen to this record, or that record, or this movement in time, or that. You know what? None of them have moved me.

I know this will not be received well by many.

I’m not trying to say the guy isn’t a talented musician or songwriter, he surely is, and he surely captured a generation with his political stance and his unique mindset, but how did he wind up that way for multiple generations? To me, Dylan is the guy who wrote 4 songs that have a lasting power, the guy whose son wrote an entire album I like better than any of his fathers, the guy who has made continued his career by being the guy the “cool” people like “because he’s Dylan”.

How is this guys career so much more notable than a guy like Tom Petty or James Taylor?

Now let’s clear up a couple of facts here, it’s well known that I like “hits”. I don’t mean Top 40 songs necessarily, I mean songs with an epic hook, songs that as you walk down the street you curse having them stuck in your head (but give it another spin the second you can), HITS. Secondly, I was born in the seventies, raised in the eighties, and am living in the zeroes, Dylan hasn’t had a hit since I’ve been alive.

So why is Dylan so revered? Elvis has the same sort of fanatics, different in lots of ways, but still same kind of experience. Elvis sold records, had hit songs, was in films and was one of the first real celebrities of modern times. So Dylan is the anti-Elvis maybe? Out of the lime-light, political and all about the music and the art? Eh, I don’t think so, it might be his angle, and maybe part of why he appeals to people, but I don’t buy it, he needs to do something, not just not do something. It seems lately he does more of the not doing something, while still just writing/recording away.

Dylan was truly relevent when he wrote “The Times They Are a-Changin’” and it captured an entire aspect of the population who found a voice and mouth for all the things running through their head, but four decades later is he still? I recently “tweeted” in reply about Dylan, that Valens had 4 truly great songs on one record in an 8 month career, doing so not to compare the two, but to bring up this nugget: Is Dylan renowned because he’s simply alive and still cranking out records?

People love to play the card that Dylan isn’t Top 40, or that Top 40 hits don’t make a song or an artist “great”, and it’s all true. We all have those artists who will make 10 albums and never get radio play. I happen to love Sigur Ros and surely they will never be Top 40, but I’ll buy every record ever. Maybe that’s the key to it all, and that Dylan just clicks with some people and doesn’t with me. Maybe, but I have this vague feeling that to many, especially in my generation, liking Dylan is a lot like reading Kerouac; It’s a statement move towards the non-today, the counter culture, aimed at being a part of a generation you missed or trying to stand apart from your current one. Such as with any counter culture movement, it winds up as trendy and actually the majority, and perhaps that’s what I see today.

The truly interesting part of what I mention above is that Dylan wasn’t non-Top 40, he actually formed his career off hit songs, and at various points decided he didn’t want his records promoted certain ways or proper singles released by his label amongst other things, but his career was not consistently that. It was kind of a lot like Radiohead’s “release the music straight to the fans” move, where a band that already built up to a very successful level goes about a shift to be more “artistic”, strictly about the music, and through all of it bucking the system/process that created them. Dylan after being a mainstay “rock” act who was revered for his political and social commentary which brought him to a certain level, went country and stopped talking politics, and then even went Christian (and I have theories about all the hipster Christians I know who love Dylan too, don’t get me started).

I don’t understand how this guy managed to keep such a stable fan base through all of those changes, through very few (if any) recent songs a majority of the population can even name, to put out an album, that in the year 2009, charts at number one.

The only thing I can even come close to an explanation with is that Dylan is still there doing it. Elvis is dead, The Beatles broke up, Zeppelin disbanded, Michael Jackson went pedo, Garth Brooks retired, every other voice of a generation and/or successful career artist has either died or become too controversial or alienated themselves some other way. Dylan got less controversial, stayed alive, and over time had more and more people spreading the Dylan gospel, giving them no reason to dislike them and it being “counter”, then “different”, then “forgotten”, and at many times throughout those popular to like him. It really is quite a remarkable and impressive career.

All that to say, I’m still just waiting for someone to explain what makes Dylan so great. I’m ready for it to hit me, I’m ready to be wowed, I’m willing to listen to a record or three (but no more) with open ears and have my life changed… because after all… so many of you have been telling me, for years, that is who this man is.

P.S. I realise someone is going to tell me that just the fact he has been able to affect so many people over such a long period of time is the simple answer to the question I ask in this title, but that still doesn’t make me want to listen to him… go deeper.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/21/whats-so-great-about-bob-dylan/feed/ 0 The Record Life. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/16/the-record-life/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/16/the-record-life/#comments Sat, 16 May 2009 15:52:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=737 So a while back, I worked on a little logo for an artist called “The Record Life” from AZ. Super good dude, and makes some great music. You can hear a new song, here. Anyway, it was a fun project to come up with something clean and simple to brand TRL with, and I was quite happy with the outcome.

All that being said, that logo can be found on something rather awesome. A(n) USB drive bracelet. What? Yeah. Okay. See for yourself. Brilliant idea TRL team.

The Record Life has their EP out now on iTunes, if you like what you hear.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/16/the-record-life/feed/ 0 My Blog And I Broke Up, We’re Trying To Get Back Together. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/06/my-blog-and-i-broke-up-were-trying-to-get-back-together/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/06/my-blog-and-i-broke-up-were-trying-to-get-back-together/#comments Wed, 06 May 2009 20:00:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=734 My blog got all mad at me a few weeks ago, because I hadn’t taken it out in a few weeks, and because I hadn’t called in days, and the only thing it saw from me was a bunch of Twitter updates. So we broke up, we will see if we can be friends, and from there who knows. Maybe a few posts about modern design to charm it, maybe a couple tweets to remind people how great my blog is, maybe a few nights curled up in bed writing a long post about a funny experience in the City of Angels, and moments, lots of moments. (Wow, before I wrote that I thought it would be funny, now it just parallels my relationships a little too much).

So I’ve been busy, again. I got my tax extension turned in on time, so I’m doing better than some people, but it’s just an extension, so I’m doing worse than most. If you don’t appreciate the greatness of Twitter, and/or realise I don’t really say anything about what’s going on there anyway, and want to know what’s going on, this is your Huckleberry (I’mmm yuh Huhklebehhy).

I wrapped up a few MySpace re-designs for some great bands: My Favorite Highway (record was released yesterday, and you should own it), Green River Ordinance (FFO: The Fray, etc), The Urgency, and Young Love. I got up the website for a ska band from Boston called Westbound Train up, I’m not really into ska, and if you aren’t either realise these guys have much more of an old R&B sound to them. I also finally finished up the layout for a band I used to do a lot of work with called Parker Theory. I’ll get the cover up somewhere, sometime soon. I was also working a lot of sleepless nights on a secret logo project that I can’t really discuss yet, and don’t really know the outcome of, so you may never hear about it, but hey at least me writing this makes me appear “mysterious” right?

Other non-design things I have been up to include: Building an HD antenna with Kyle so we are one step closer to canceling cable, Finally fixing my Mail so that my Junk Mail will stay on the server (tip: don’t put periods in your account name), Got out to see the Ducks knock off the Sharks and fully reinvigorate my love for NHL playoff hockey, Bought more vinyl (still no turntable), and successfully got an external HD once deemed dead, back in the world of the living.

I’m off to get back into the work, nice seeing you again.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/05/06/my-blog-and-i-broke-up-were-trying-to-get-back-together/feed/ 1 Isn’t It Funny How Artists Ignore Artistic Progress. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/04/21/isnt-it-funny-how-artists-ignore-artistic-progress/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/04/21/isnt-it-funny-how-artists-ignore-artistic-progress/#comments Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:48:10 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=729 So today I was reading a few weeks old blog by a band I very much respect and am a huge fan of. I won’t name them, because it has nothing to do with the band, maybe a little to do with what they were saying (also I’ve heard a ton of bands saying lately), but it’s more about the thoughts that occurred in my head. The gist of the post was concerns over bands that create their music on computers, aren’t playing instruments, and are playing weird/random hybrids of genres.

It’s all very ironic to me when I see a band bringing these concerns. I understand why, I understand that even the supposed rebels making rock music feel threatened that people create successful songs and even sell out a room doing something “easier” than they do. Artists are supposed to be the ones pushing envelopes, artists are supposed to welcome change and innovation; so why are so many upset that people are finding new ways to make music that people like? In the end it’s all relative, sure you may not like a band like 3oh3! (not the band listed in the blog, but I see a lot of this type of response geared towards them from artists and fans), but people think they created (that’s the key word) a pretty catchy and fun couple of tunes. It doesn’t matter how, or the tools used, none of that crap actually makes any artist “cooler” than another (but some sure think it does).

It’s about creation, creating something, being far more unique than the boring old ways of a guitar and amp. Let me announce something, not everyone can program a hit song in a computer, just as not everyone can play the guitar like Hendrix. Sure, a lot of people try both, but a lot of people fail. The ones trying and failing doing it using a guitar are no more (or less) important than the ones trying and failing at programming a song in a computer. They are expressing themselves, they are creating, they are pushing boundaries. Maybe they are creating for commercial success you say? So what, so are plenty of bands.

What I really wonder, I wonder if these were the same things happening: when photography was invented, when they took classical instruments and created jazz, bluegrass, etc, when moving pictures were invented, when a broken amplifier accidentally invented the now standard distortion. You get it right? It’s innovation, and sometimes Rock N’ Roll seems a little old and dated with their mentality about the auditory realm.

Not all music is for everyone, but criticizing ANYONE trying, especially if the critic is a fellow creator, is a bit hypocritical (and can come off as jealousy). Just say it’s not for you and let the masses decide their final place in the scheme of things.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/04/21/isnt-it-funny-how-artists-ignore-artistic-progress/feed/ 0 Gene Simmons Pwns Lefsetz. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/03/22/gene-simmons-pwns-lefsetz/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/03/22/gene-simmons-pwns-lefsetz/#comments Sun, 22 Mar 2009 17:44:56 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=715 Gene Simmons, you know of Kiss, was up in Canada talking about his record label. Call me crazy but I have always liked Gene. He is insane, and egotistical, but he believes in himself, and whatever he does and he realises failure will only be at his blame. It’s maybe not the way to go through life, but it works for Gene. He’s kind of the villain, in his own teddy bear way.

So Gene spoke, and it was like a commercial, and this guy Lefsetz didn’t like it. Bob Lefsetz is this guy who writes this letter (it’s a blog, let’s be honest) on the music industry. Somehow the entire industry thinks the guy is genius, but I don’t get it. He constantly thinks he has the solutions to save the music industry, criticizes others who actually act and try to do something different, and as far as I can find has never actually done anything to help save the industry. All that said, his RSS feed (which sucks by the way; who makes RSS feeds that you can only read 2 lines of? People who won’t be saving any industry, that’s who) is subscribed to and once in a while (when I find those 2 lines interesting enough) I read a full post.

You can go find the post on Gene if you want, but what you should do is give Gene your visit and see it and his answers over at Simmons Records website. They are amazing and great, and entertaining… everything we should be getting, and Gene wants to give us. My favourite exchange, because it’s absolutely more valid than 90% of the things Lefsetz says is as follows:

Bob Lefsetz

Just because you’re a big musical act, that doesn’t mean you’re a decent executive, that you can run a record company.

Gene Simmons

SAYS WHO. YOU? AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MAKE THESE ASSESSMENTS. WHAT’S YOUR QUALIFICATION, IN FACT, FOR SAYING ANYTHING…

I’d like to remind people who run the music industry of a few things that Gene seems to also feel; Just because you have been around the old music industry, doesn’t mean you can be succesful in the new music industry. Just because you ran a label or run a label or had success with an artist, doesn’t mean you will ever be successful again. Just because something worked once, doesn’t mean it is the pattern.

Artists should have people who believe in them as much as Gene believes in himself (and surely any band/artist he gets behind), and should also have people who are as brutally honest as Gene is and don’t give people ridiculous manipulative sells every time they have a conversation.

Gene Simmons is kind of refreshing.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/03/22/gene-simmons-pwns-lefsetz/feed/ 0 An East Coast Update. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/03/01/an-east-coast-update/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/03/01/an-east-coast-update/#comments Sun, 01 Mar 2009 12:54:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=710 So I’m sipping on some Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, and it’s quite lovely. That’s pretty much going to be the best part of this update, for some of you. I’m sitting in JFK, it’s snowing outside, it looks gorgeous. This is the second time I have been in New York in the past week. I head to Charlotte in an hour or so. Yesterday I was in California, the day before Maryland and Georgia. My life is kind of spinning right now.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m out on tour with William Tell and Jimmy Robbins. I have to tell you guys Jimmy is one of the best new things in my life, and William is one of the best old. We are a pretty great band of travelers.

So we started out in Boston, Cambridge proper for 2 days (including a great stop at Drink), and then Greyhound’d down to NYC. We crashed in Williamsburg the first night, then mid-town at the Pod Hotel (bunkbeds, with Eames patterned bedspreads). The show in NYC was at the Highline, and it had a great turnout. From there we went to Hoboken, NJ. Now let me tell you, I have said a lot of bad things about NJ, and quite a few about Hoboken (I mean it does start with Hobo, and Eli Manning lives there), but I take it all back. After 2 days I’m a fan. It’s a great town where you can still grab a slice at random hours of the night, but escapes the complete craziness over the river.

Sometime after that we finally got a car, drove to Baltimore, stalked the “Ace Of Cakes” place, and wandered Fell’s Point. I wound up buying hat’s and old screens (screen printing screens), and we even cheered for the Buffalo Sabers (I can’t really explain). The next day I headed to the airport for a flight to Newark and then Orange County, only to be greeted by a delayed flight which would have made me miss my connection. So then I was on a Delta flight to Atlanta, then Orange County. Yeah, so then a ground stop in Atlanta kept me at BWI another 2 hours (I had already waited 3). Did iI mention I was flying back for my Father’s wedding the next day?

So I was a bit concerned I would be stuck forever in Maryland or Georgia, but eventually I made it back to California. The wedding was great, very musical oriented, and out in the Angeles National Forest. That evening I got on a plane for here, JFK. I promptly passed out, and that flight is now known as the Best Redeye Ever. Soon I will be heading to North Carolina to meet up with William and Jimmy, who played Philly and Raleigh while I was gone.

If you want to be involved in my insane travels, I will soon be in Charlotte, Wilmington, Delray Beach (Ft. Lauderdale), Orlando and Tampa. If you have ways to get me and 2 others into Disneyworld for free, you are especially encouraged to reach out. I really recommend you come out to a show if you are around one of these cities, it’s a great chance to see wonderful music in it’s barest form performed at levels the likes you may never see. At least stop by and familiarize yourself with William Tell and Jimmy Robbins. I’ll see you all soon.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/03/01/an-east-coast-update/feed/ 1 Hey Remember Me? Or, The Least Coast Awaits. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/18/hey-remember-me-or-the-least-coast-awaits/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/18/hey-remember-me-or-the-least-coast-awaits/#comments Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:21:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=706 I used to blog here. My name is Randall. How are you?

So I have been ridiculously busy in the last few weeks, and there are good reasons for that. I have a ton of work, and I will be over on the East Coast for a couple weeks. Why? Why not! I will be headed out to such cities as Boston, New York, Hoboken, New York, Baltimore, Los Angeles, Charlotte, Wilmington, Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa, and Orlando. It’s quite a journey, and I will be on the road with my good friend William Tell and Jimmy Robbins. They will be playing perfect pop music, and I will be helping them in a multitude of ways, while still carrying on my normal load of design fun (though the past few weeks have made it so it will be a little lighter).

If you are on the lesser coast, and we are friends, we need to hang out. I’m really bad at calling people or writing them in advance, so just track me down and let’s get a drink. If you are one of my wonderful clients, fear not, I will have all the regular normal operations up and running, and you shouldn’t notice a thing.

See you soon. Miss your face.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/18/hey-remember-me-or-the-least-coast-awaits/feed/ 0 Early Zeroes Nostalgia. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/04/early-zeroes-nostalgia/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/04/early-zeroes-nostalgia/#comments Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:07:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=693 This would be another installment of “Maps And Notes” however, this one really only took place in the city I lived in. San Diego, circa 1999-2001. There was a lot of great different music being played around then. Remember this was the peak of Blink 182, so not much else besides Blink, UL, Fenix TX, and all those other bands Taylor Steele but on every soundtrack to his surf films was being noticed on a large scale. I was coming out of a phase, and falling in love with Emo. Not the crappy stuff that’s emo now, the real stuff, The Get Up Kids, Jets To Brazil, Mineral, Braid, Sunny Day Real Estate, et al (granted I was late to the party on a few of those). I decided this music was not a CA thing, and hardly anyone I knew was listening to it (what I’m telling you here is, I’m a trendsetter), but over time I came to find a couple EP’s from local bands that just blew me away that were playing musin in this same vein. San Diego had a much stronger scene at this time than what produced Blink and UL, and a lot of these artists are still around today, however the bands I speak of are not.

I have spent all morning listening to them, and demanding others do the same.

Jack’s Broken Heart (true story, i never realised the Fight Club reference until 2 months ago) was an amazing 4 piece. Their EP “Against Forgetting” was amazing, go buy it on iTunes. I saw this band play a ton, with Jimmy Eat World, Counterfeit, et al, and it was great. They won the 2001 San Diego Music Award for best Alternative, beating out The Album Leaf, Black Heart Procession and Tristeza (I told you SD had a developing scene at the time). I later had the privilege of becoming friends with their drummer David, who is now in a band called The Little Ones (with ex-Sunday’s Best) that you should also check out.

Dewey Defeats Truman is a band that I came to know about through my own lame attempts at rock stardom. I was in a band, I will never mention more than it’s mere existence, because it was horrible. So anyway I was over at the Guitar Center (old one over on El Cajon Blvd.) one day, doing something, or buying something, and had this random conversation with this guy who was the singer for DDT. He was a pretty interesting guy and super nice, so I went over to Music Trader and picked up whatever I could find. That was “B-Sides, Rarities, and Out-Takes” and it was a great pick up. I don’t think I have the physical disc of this anymore, but somehow it has managed to stay on my computer all those years. I don’t think you can find this album, but they released an EP later that is still up on Amazon.

Enjoy.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/04/early-zeroes-nostalgia/feed/ 0 Music You Should Like. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/02/music-you-should-like/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/02/music-you-should-like/#comments Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:07:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=690 So Friday & Sunday (not, Saturday, because Saturday I drove to AZ and back, well I passenger’d mostly) I was helping my good friend Rohan out on his battle with MySpace and code. MySpace, albeit a great company to work with (yes, I’ve cashed a couple of their checks), can be kind of a mess when you are trying to code out a custom profile. Anyway, I did my part, and Rohan was nice enough to throw me some love on the credit. Why I am telling you this, is because you should all go check out Hey Monday’s MySpace right now. They are a band I’ve been a fan of for a while, and if you like pop music, and especially pop music fronted by a cute girl, you need to be listening to this stuff, ASAP.

Or go catch them on tour with some band nobody has ever heard of… Fall Out Boy.

Speaking of bands you should listen to, MySpace, me name dropping friends of mine in NYC, and what I’m listening to right now: Another wonderful friend Frank got me hooked on this band More Amor. Their track “Young Hollywood” will be stuck in my head for 3 weeks, at the least. I recommend buying the album off iTunes, because I did, and it would do you some good to be more like me.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/02/02/music-you-should-like/feed/ 0 Reason #182809 Why I Love Letterman. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/31/reason-182809-why-i-love-letterman/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/31/reason-182809-why-i-love-letterman/#comments Sat, 31 Jan 2009 08:03:09 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=686 Vinyl.

The man has musical performers on his show and doesn’t hold up the CD, he holds up vinyl. Gorgeous, circles of black, grooves of uncompressed, vinyl.
And it’s not just once in a while

It’s always.

It must be show policy. I wonder if a band is allowed to play if they can’t get the vinyl there? I wonder if he loves Squeeze’s “Singles” on vinyl as much as I do. Scotch & Squeeze, that’s all you need.

In related news, will someone sell me a record player. I’m sick of losing bids on ebay.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/31/reason-182809-why-i-love-letterman/feed/ 1 Awesomenents, The Cure For All. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/19/awesomenents-the-cure-for-all/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/19/awesomenents-the-cure-for-all/#comments Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:28:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=664 So this weekend I was in and out of an ongoing funk that I would like to attribute to the still ongoing pounding in my head. All weekend I woke up feeling unrested, and chose to blame it on falling asleep weirdly to whatever I fell asleep to. At some point yesterday after complaining about it being hot in California, I looked at the thermostat.

60-something degrees.

My head felt like it was 80-something. Now I’m no scientist, but I think this could be something. So I deduced I had a fever. I refused to medicate myself, and choose to push through. I’m starting to realise this has been going on the past week, and has been what has cut into my productivity lately. I should have realised mid day exhaustion wasn’t normal, but I kind of enjoyed the naps.

So anyway, like a good friend of mine said:

Barney Stinson

“You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be AWESOME instead. True story.”

So this little nugget of Awesome comes in handy on days like today.

And yes, I realise Barney is a character, but if you met my friends you would know some fiction is clearly taking a cue from my reality.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/19/awesomenents-the-cure-for-all/feed/ 1 The It Girl. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/16/the-it-girl/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/16/the-it-girl/#comments Sat, 17 Jan 2009 04:00:48 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=654 So anyone who knows me, probably doesn’t know I love “Gossip Girl”, I don’t admit it to many. However, in my defense, it’s a great show with some of the best writing on television. Anything Kristen Bell is involved with pretty much has my vote, anyway. That being said, anyone who knows me, knows my favourite on Gossip Girl is “S”, but “Little J” takes a close second. See what I did there? You are confused, confused because you don’t know what an “S” is. So maybe you should watch the show, shouldn’t you?

Anyway Taylor Momsen who plays Jenny (who regularly steals scenes and is pretty much a lock for her own spin off, duh), was recently caught running from the Paparazzi. I know it’s a viral ad for NIke, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome.

Okay, I’m gonna go back to work and try to pretend I just didn’t gush on my Blog about Gossip Girl.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/16/the-it-girl/feed/ 0 MuteMath + Jeremy Larson = Leno. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/15/mutemath-jeremy-larson-leno/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/15/mutemath-jeremy-larson-leno/#comments Thu, 15 Jan 2009 23:25:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=651 MuteMath is a simply amazing band. I was fortunate to see them play live a few years back, and it was everything a performance should be. Some bands just get it. These guys made a rather brilliant video that you might be familiar with, then one upped that by recreating it on Kimmel.

My good friend Brandon Chamberlain works with an artist named Jeremy Larson who makes some pretty spectacular music himself, and will be sitting in with MuteMath on the keys tonight as they play Leno. If their other late night performances were a sign, this will be another can’t miss.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/15/mutemath-jeremy-larson-leno/feed/ 1 Things That Suck About The People’s Choice Awards. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/08/things-that-suck-about-the-peoples-choice-awards/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/08/things-that-suck-about-the-peoples-choice-awards/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:25:28 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=644 I didn’t want to do this, but it’s pretty much necessary.

1. Queen Latifah.
2. The whole, “high five the people as you go to the mic” thing.
3. Kid Rock over Coldplay.
4. The constant “Obama won the election” references. Like the actors did anything.
5. Ellen over Letterman.
6. Robin Williams.
7. Two And A Half Men.
8. Everything else, except The Dark Knight.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/08/things-that-suck-about-the-peoples-choice-awards/feed/ 0 The United Plates Of America. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/07/the-united-plates-of-america/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/07/the-united-plates-of-america/#comments Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:54:23 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=639 So a few years back when I was the Creative Director of The Militia Group, I had an intern. Actually I had quite a few interns, but most were local and weren’t there for something like 2-3 months. This particular intern came all the way out to California to live and show up every day (most of the time before me) and work for free. I’m probably not the best mentor in the world, mostly because I’m really opinionated and I tend to be pretty jaded. However, I think this internship turned out better than most of the others, John had some real talent, and I was able to get him a few real pieces to be in his portfolio.

So anyway, in May I returned a 5 month old email to John and he only waited 6 months to reply to me. Way to out do me, John. I’m really horrible at getting back to those kind of emails, because I feel like I can’t just fire off 3 sentences like I can with family and friends I see all the time, so I hold no ill will. John let me know about a project he had recently compelted after teaching himself how to screenprint. The concept was a series of art prints that represent each state as a plate of food. I think it came out pretty spectacular, of course it will be 6 months until I let John know that, but for now check out his work. The United Plates.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2009/01/07/the-united-plates-of-america/feed/ 1 It’s The “Of The Year” Time Of Year. Part III (EPs). http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/30/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-iii-eps/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/30/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-iii-eps/#comments Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:17:43 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=611 This will be an ongoing journey through the best of 2008. Thank you for caring.

Best Songs of 2008
1. Third Eye Blind – Red Star
2. Mike Dunn And The Kings Of New England – The Edge Of America*
3. The Jealous Sound – Got Friends
4. The Summer Set – …In Color
5. Coldplay – Prospekt’s March

My only real commentary on this is that people should put out more EP’s. Start an EP label, something.

*This may have not come out in 2008, I may not care about silly facts like that.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/30/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-iii-eps/feed/ 0 It’s The “Of The Year” Time Of Year. Part II (Songs). http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/28/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-ii-songs/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/28/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-ii-songs/#comments Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:24:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=609 This will be an ongoing journey through the best of 2008. Thank you for caring.

Best Songs of 2008
1. Augustana – Sweet And Low
2. Gavin Rossdale – Love Remains The Same
3. Mates Of State – The Re-Arranger
4. My Favorite Highway – Getaway Car
5. Jack’s Mannequin – The Resolution
6. Estelle (ft. Kanye West) – American Boy
7. Katy Perry – Hot N’ Cold
8. Kanye West – Heartless
9. Coldplay – Viva La Vida
10. All-American Rejects – Another Heart Calls

Running Commentary (with no care in the world for grammar) follows:
I still stand by the statement I made after my second listen of “Sweet And Low”, which was something along the lines of it being the best song the band has ever written, and for those of you that know me know how Augustana’s “Boston” affects me, so that is really saying something. Gavin Rossdale renewed my faith in him in one single, single. You probably haven’t heard the My Favorite Highway song, but you should, it should be huge if that album ever gets a proper push. I’m not sure how many times this year I was standing in a booth at a club singing “American Boy”, but it was a lot. The late pushes this year were made by Kanye’s second single, and a song that probably won’t be a single by AAR, but it’s gorgeous.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/28/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-ii-songs/feed/ 0 It’s The “Of The Year” Time Of Year. Part I (Albums). http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/22/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-i-albums/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/22/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-i-albums/#comments Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:04:49 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=610 This will be an ongoing journey through the best of 2008. Thank you for caring.

Best Albums of 2008
1. Coldplay – Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends
2. The New Frontiers – Mending
3. Katy Perry – One Of The Boys
4. My Favorite Highway – How To Call A Bluff
5. Augustana – Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt
6. Kanye West – 808s & Heartbreak
7. Denison Witmer – Carry The Weight
8. Girl Talk – Feed The Animals
9. Death Cab For Cutie – Narrow Stairs
10. We The Kings – We The Kings

I know my list is full of lame pop albums, I know it’s not as cool as your list with Vampire Weekend, Kings of Leon and Bon Iver. I realise my lameness in full, it’s who I am, I love pop music. All those great indie bands write some brilliant songs, but rarely do I ever find myself with a hook stuck in the head that can only be cured by singing along to hits like I do these artists listed above. Forgive me, all the indie hits blend together into an un-craved mass of great music that lies un-played in my iTunes.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/22/its-the-of-the-year-time-of-year-part-i-albums/feed/ 3 Saving Detroit. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/09/saving-detroit/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/09/saving-detroit/#comments Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:59:40 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=598 I’ve been meaning to post this for a few days.

The other day Kyle and I were sitting around talking about our distaste for NASCAR and distaste for the Detroit bailout. Let’s face it, the only people to blame for the Big Three failing are the people in charge, the people who put them in charge, and the people who allowed them to be in charge with huge salaries while losing money.

A brilliant idea then hit. What if NASCAR (which is called “stock car racing”) actually started using stock cars. We have all these cars sitting around not being sold, and yet these companies are spending millions to run “stock” cars around ovals. Throw a few out there fresh from the factory, show us how safe they really are, show us the true performance, show us what you want to sell.

NASCAR would gain 2 more fans, and Detroit could write off the 3-4 cars they crash (per team) every week at the track.

“Dude, we just saved Detroit”

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/09/saving-detroit/feed/ 0 And Here I Am. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/06/and-here-i-am/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/06/and-here-i-am/#comments Sat, 06 Dec 2008 20:52:19 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=593 So life has been crazy, I haven’t blogged in weeks (yet somehow people still come here), and I am finally feeling back on top of things.

Here is the wrap-up:
I was sick for a good solid 2 weeks, most of it came from breathing pure ash from some of the lovely fires in Southern California, I finally recovered the week of Thanksgiving, but was way behind on work (thank you to everyone whose project was delayed, your grace is wonderful).

I got back on the ball and wrapped a ton of stuff up the past 2 weeks, including a 3 day trek to San Diego to see family/friends whom I love, and a 2 day trek to AZ to ride along with Tell as he played ASU. It was all great, and we officially decided AZ may be the best food state ever. Think about it, they get the west coast (In-N-Out, Del Taco, etc) and the Middle America (Waffle House, Chick-Fil-A, Sonic) along with other random things from states far off. Put a White Castle out there and my vote is in.

I just wrapped up William Tell’s MySpace the other day, if you haven’t been by lately he has quite a few new songs up that you should listen to. This little project was a fun nightmare. Lots of work overwriting MySpace and figuring out stupid little one line code issues, but it’s only the first time that this will kill me.

Also not too long back I finally got up a semblance of a website for Department Three. I have been promising this for years, and now finally some of my recent work is up to view at the studios site.

I’m working on a ton of other things, filing away files, getting caught up on emails, do if you are wondering why I haven’t replied to something, be patient. In the works are a few websites, some branding work, and a few more MySpace re-designs.

In other news, my friends at Hozell are having a warehouse sale this weekend. It’s today and tomorrow, and it also includes WeSC another great brand I’m a huge fan of. Info is on the MySpace linked there (because they didn’t want to put it on their MySpace?), and i’ll be there in a few minutes. If you are in LA/OC you should head down and hang.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/12/06/and-here-i-am/feed/ 0 Less Politics, More Free Music. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/11/06/less-politics-more-free-music/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/11/06/less-politics-more-free-music/#comments Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:42:56 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=583 So we elected an African American, and California has more uneducated and religious voters than I thought (I’m not insulting anyone, the exit polls showed those voting Yes on 8 were in fact both those things). Let’s all relish in the opportunity of being a country that can once again innovate and lead this world.

Because of such celebratory events I am bringing you free music. From two different places.

Firstly, a lot of my time has been spent working on a few projects for William Tell, and part of that pile is up on the internet today. Right here, if you sign up you get a free song, and lot’s more to come. It’s a new marketing device that we have dubbed, “bribery”. The song is called “Gone Gone Gone” and it has some great Paul Simon moments in it.

Secondly, a lot of the rest of my time is spent talking to the one and only Chad Pearson. He has a record label, and they give you free music. He is currently living in a red state, but let’s look past that for a moment. FREE MUSIC! Okay, so yeah, his label sampler is now up for free on Amazon MP3. It features some great artists whom I truly love, and is just the right kind of mood for Fall days (Not that I know what Fall is like). A little more mature sound blasting from your windows, a little more proof you are cooler than people think.

So enjoy the music, and the new President, and if I could give away this for free I would.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/11/06/less-politics-more-free-music/feed/ 1 Got Friends? http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/10/17/got-friends/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/10/17/got-friends/#comments Fri, 17 Oct 2008 21:01:35 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=566 The Jealous Sound, where do I start? This band holds such an emotional attachment to myself. One song off Kill Them With Kindness was pretty much the anthem for an entire relationship. When I was at The Militia Group and J Sound was signed the entire office was ecstatic. Over the years I was there, there were some demos played around the office, the band was in the studio, a record would eventually come out of it. Well, what came out of it is “Got Friends”, and it can be purchased on iTunes. It’s an EP, it’s 3 songs I had heard before and some remixes, and it’s absolutely wonderful.

If you loved The Jealous Sound’s other 2 releases, you need this. If you loved Knapsack, you need this. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, start here, you need this. This may be the last we hear of them, or it may not.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/10/17/got-friends/feed/ 0 Politics And Baseball. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/29/politics-and-baseball/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/29/politics-and-baseball/#comments Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:30:38 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=557 The baseball season is almost, finally over, maybe. One of my teams managed to not lose 100 games (barely), and the other finds itself in a tough playoff matchup with the Angels. I’m excited to see the BoSox battle the Angels (I typed this as “The Angles” the first time, and it made me laugh for 10 minutes, I think Dan may also laugh), it will be a great matchup and these fan bases have a great and healthy rivalry with each other (along with a shared hatred of the Yankees, so it’s fun for everyone).

To wrap up my thoughts on the baseball season, I thought we would go to Ralph Nader for a comment.

Ralph Nader, after he’d been told by Washington Post editors that the lack of coverage of his presidential campaign was because he had no chance of winning:

“Then why are you covering the Nationals?”

Best thing ever, thank you Ralph, thank you Nationals for losing 3 more games than the Padres.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/29/politics-and-baseball/feed/ 3 An Open Letter To Dawson Leery. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/16/an-open-letter-to-dawson-leery/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/16/an-open-letter-to-dawson-leery/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:15:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=541 Dear Dawson,
It always pissed me off how you screwed things up with Joey.
Sincerely,
Randall

P.S. Go to hell Pacey.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/16/an-open-letter-to-dawson-leery/feed/ 0 Things For Your Eyes. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/15/things-for-your-eyes/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/15/things-for-your-eyes/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2008 05:03:13 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=529 Earlier Today Chad Pearson sent over a link to this lovely video of Mike Dunn playing at an instore in the FLA. I have raved about how great “The Edge Of America” is before, but I’m gonna do it again. Watch this while you are downloading it from Amazon or iTunes.

As a bonus to all of you who like good music. A new song, from the genius that is Gasoline Heart. You are all welcome.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/15/things-for-your-eyes/feed/ 0 Slam Crunk. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/15/slam-crunk/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/15/slam-crunk/#comments Mon, 15 Sep 2008 18:29:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=530 Do you like pop music? Do you like all those Hip Hop songs that make you sing along? Do you like amazing covers that combine the two into one?

This is for you. Holiday Parade presents “Slam Crunk”, the newest in a bunch of white guys remixing through guitars and instruments to bring you a jewel of pop goodness. It’s free to download at PureVolume, so do it.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/15/slam-crunk/feed/ 0 Chargers Sign Lance Armstrong. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/10/chargers-sign-lance-armstrong/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/10/chargers-sign-lance-armstrong/#comments Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:39:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=523 So I am one of those twittering people, and as I have discussed with most of my close friends, I don’t really “get it” either. But I do it, and every once in a while I sure am glad I am. Yesterday was one of those days. This was why.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/09/10/chargers-sign-lance-armstrong/feed/ 0 NBC & Heroes Sponsor Student Films. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/08/24/nbc-heroes-sponsor-student-films/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/08/24/nbc-heroes-sponsor-student-films/#comments Sun, 24 Aug 2008 17:01:48 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=509 Apparently the title of this post is true, because I said so, but not like college student films, we are talking high school, and we aren’t talking that rich private high school with the really great arts program.

I love Heroes, it’s probably my favourite show on television (though HIMYM is pretty even), but this whole thing really is ridiculous. I guess it’s what happens when you can’t use union actors and union directors and union writers and union key grips and union catering.

Go ahead, watch the webisodes of Heroes.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/08/24/nbc-heroes-sponsor-student-films/feed/ 0 Font Usage And Re-Usage. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/30/font-usage-and-re-usage/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/30/font-usage-and-re-usage/#comments Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:28:50 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=479 Lately around my place we have been getting pretty into the new HBO mini-series “Generation Kill”, it’s based off a book by the same name, written by a reporter who was embedded with a Marine Batallion (First Recon, out of Camp Pendleton, CA). The book was fairly controversial for how it was received as well as the effects it had on many of the men in First Recon (several retired early or were passed up for promotion), and this adaptation is no less the exposé. The mini-series will probably be missed by most of the U.S. (as most visionary shows are), but I urge you catch it either on HBO OnDemand or the replays that are happening all the time. It is brought to you by Ed Burns of “The Wire” fame, and is a must see if only for it’s visual aesthetics.

When I was watching the first episode and saw the typography they used I was pretty taken. It does a brilliant job of capturing what the mood of the show is. It’s rough around the edges, but has a certain order to it’s madness. I thought it was great how they created something with a very solid familiarity without going the route of some played out font we have seen too many times.

Then today I was listening to K-Rock NY on my iPhone (through AOL Radio) and I noticed something interesting…

No longer did we have an original and unique font. Now did someone rip off the other someone in this case? Probably not. It’s probably the case of 2 entities finding a font that actually fits their “brand” quite well, it’s just a shame they both come to light in a similar moment. Now you might be thinking, “Aren’t you being a little too harsh on people for using the same font? Don’t people do that all the time?” And you are right, it happens, but it usually is avoided by most designers when it is such a kitschy type font. If I had seen these both without seeing the other, I probably would think both were wonderful choices and original type creations, but I can’t change the facts, and I think the designers working on those projects should have spent a little more time on the font choice/execution.

Anyone else remember a case of a very memorable, kitschy, stock font was used for two brands around the same time? The last one I can think of was the Spiderman/Playstation 3 font, which at least both were Sony properties.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/30/font-usage-and-re-usage/feed/ 0 PGM On Flavorpill And Filter Events. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/25/pgm-on-flavorpill-and-filter-events/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/25/pgm-on-flavorpill-and-filter-events/#comments Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:46:39 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=465 Everybody’s favourite person Paul G. Maziar has a few of his events featured on Flavorpill, and one of them features a photo I took of Paul when we were in Mexico training to become Mariachis.

He will be reading from his book “What It Is: What It Is” and Filter Magazine is presenting the events, so it should be quite a wonderful literary event. Check out Flavorpill if you are in LA or NYC for all the event info.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/25/pgm-on-flavorpill-and-filter-events/feed/ 1 Back To Reality. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/21/back-to-reality/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/21/back-to-reality/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2008 04:04:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=448 Well with the end of Summer vacations comes the unsettling return to work. I love work, but you do get a bit used to not having to know what day it is, and not really caring what small California highway you are on, or if there are bears along the way. Of course I tore myself away from my iPhone most of the days, but still spent a good amount of time in the evenings sorting through the emails of the day, and playing with new apps.

So how did I wrap up an utterly amazing week? Well, first I went down to San Diego and saw my family and celebrated my birthday early. It was a lovely time, and I got in some seriously needed pool time, because being on a river all week is way different angles of sunlight and the tan takes a serious toll.

Heading back home to Long Beach, I was ready to get back to reality. Well that was all thrown afoot on Sunday when we headed out to a little party that wound up being the biggest thing in LA County on Sunday. There were Lions, Tigers, Monkeys, Waterfalls, Margaritas, Old Friends, Amazing New Friends, Long Walks Back To The Car (Or For The Entrepreneurial Sorts Domino’s Car Rides), and Telling People Our Names Were 80′s Band Names (Which Worked Out Well For Todo). It was an absolute amazing time, and did I mention BI happened to have left his bayou home (and was visiting the place that misses him way too much, or maybe just the people do) and made the whole day that much better.

Thanks to everyone who invited us/threw the party, let us not wait in line, poured us beverages, gave me chips, made us smile, and all the rest involved, especially one graceful pizza delivery driver. I am thankful to have the friends I do, and the ridiculous times we get into. Life is good.

As if that run of days couldn’t get any better, early today I purchased a replica, orange, Chad Johnson jersey for far too ridiculously little. Ocho Cinco, check; Man Ram, up next.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/21/back-to-reality/feed/ 0 Pandamonium. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/18/pandamonium/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/18/pandamonium/#comments Sat, 19 Jul 2008 02:41:03 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=433 Exactly a week from today P is for Panda will be having a little get together in the ATL to officially launch the label side of the Panda (I think this also will be one of the first places you can see the new line of Panda shirts, which I am still slacking on contributing to, sometime soon, it’s in the works). These people think highly of me, and I think even highly-er of them, and they stuck my name on the flyer for the art show that is happening at the event. This meant I had to actually commit to something in my life, and you will, at the very least, see 4-5 photos that I spent weeks trying to decide between. All the art at the show will be for sale (I believe, don’t hold me to it), and proceeds benefit the Valentino Achak Deng Foundation. It’s a possibility that you will see a couple pieces I am working on, if they manage to get wrapped up in time and I am able to overnight such heavy things to Atlanta in time.

All the prints of my photographs will be 30×20, and I will post the day of the event the pieces that are there, maybe. I’m really excited for everything Chad is doing with Panda, I’m absolutely in love with the musicians he is working with, I’m thrilled to be a part of an art show where my work will be completely showed up by some of the most amazing artists out there today who I am also honoured to call my friends (therefore, such as.

If you are in the Atlanta area, you should make it out to this. I was trying to work out an appearance myself, but I think I will wait until the fall to fully experience the ATL.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/18/pandamonium/feed/ 0 Stealing Signs. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/17/stealing-signs/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/17/stealing-signs/#comments Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:46:38 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=434 So as I was getting prepared to let you all in on my next post, I came across an interview a friend of mine did with a blog I am a huge fan of.

Mark Penxa, interviewed by Uni Watch about the “Stealing Signs” project. Mark and I worked together on a few projects back when I was with TMG, when I say worked together, I mean I took brilliance he did, and probably diluted it. However we had great fun, and still have some pretty amazing email conversations about life. Mark was kind enough to sell me some of the early versions of the “Stealing Signs” project, and they are absolutely moving in person.

Another fun thing to know about Mark and I is that I once tried to commission Mark to paint me a kind of 3 colour tribute to one of my ex-girlfriends. His complete panning of me and such a ridiculous idea proved more therapeutic than anything else had and has on said topic. Moral of that story is that Mark rules, nd I am valued to have him as a friend, and that I am a sap who fortunately has friends who don’t let him do utterly foolish things (most of the time).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/17/stealing-signs/feed/ 0 Just A Warning. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/08/just-a-warning/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/08/just-a-warning/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:29:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=417 If you speak negatively about John Mayer, especially failing to actually say anything to back up your opinion (which is wrong by the way) and calling him over-rated and that he knows nothing about music, you will be deleted from my life. You don’t have to like the guys music, you don’t have to even care about him, but going on a soap box to try and tear down one of the most talented, real, genuine guys making music these days is exactly what is wrong with the world and exactly the issue JM constantly speaks about. I will not stand for it.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/08/just-a-warning/feed/ 0 Long Weekend Wrap-up. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/07/long-weekend-wrapup/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/07/long-weekend-wrapup/#comments Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:44:53 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=416 These are the things that owned my life this past weekend:

Happy Hour, The Summer Gin, Superbad Scrabble, Ice Cream Sandwiches, Honey Wheat Pancakes, Realising Every Better Than Ezra Song Is Trying To Be Another Band, PBR, 21-1 Pool Volleyball Games, Beach Boys, Burgers, Fireworks, Cool Runnings, Betting On Olympic Trials, Falling Asleep On Couches, Gin & Tonics, Breakfast Burritos, Red Sox v. Yankees, Poolside Days, Some Of The Best iPod Playlists Ever, Mai Tai’s, Fajitas, Jacuzzi, More Olympic Trials, Falling Asleep On Couches, Being Horrible At Video Games, Leftovers, F1 Races That Look More Like Rally Racing, Falling Asleep On Couches.

Bryan Adams – Summer Of ’69

“Those were the best days of our lives.”

It’s pretty true, even in ’08.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/07/07/long-weekend-wrapup/feed/ 0 Extreme Urban Soccer. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/21/extreme-urban-soccer/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/21/extreme-urban-soccer/#comments Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:16:05 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=392 This is so much cooler than the last 57 soccer games I have watched (which inevitably are the only 57 soccer games I have watched, though it was cool when that one dude told the other dude his sister was “a little too experienced” in the World Cup), however it’s not nearly as cool as what I used to do on the pitch at Cherry Park in Long Beach every Sunday against Chivas Long Beach.

This is Remi Gaillard:

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/21/extreme-urban-soccer/feed/ 0 Mayer, May Not. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/18/mayer-may-not/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/18/mayer-may-not/#comments Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:45:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=491 Dan Crittenden’s recent twitter post reminded me that I never posted the brilliance that is the following:

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/18/mayer-may-not/feed/ 0 U.S. Open Wrap-up. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/16/us-open-wrap-up/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/16/us-open-wrap-up/#comments Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:37:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=383 I found it fitting not to publish this until the Open actually concluded, and seeing as Tiger just wrapped it up on the 19th hole today, this is long overdue:

I was able to spend Father’s Day with my very own Father at the U.S. Open. It was a great day of golf, on a gorgeous course. We followed “Lefty” around for a while, and it seemed to do him good as he finished with 68. We hung out at the gorgeous 13 for a few hours and saw some incredible approach shots to a tight pin placement on an elevated green behind 3 bunkers. We almost got hit by Tiger’s drive on 1. We were there on 18 for Tiger’s put that sent the whole thing off to 18 more holes.

Professional golf is one of those things that should be experienced in person to truly grasp the energy, and the U.S. Open is no different. It’s great to watch on television as your favourite golfers walk up the fairway to a roar of the crowd, but the chill you will get from being the roar is even better.

Special thanks to Kyle Davidson for being important; No Special thanks to the sun block that failed me.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/16/us-open-wrap-up/feed/ 0 APB. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/10/apb/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/10/apb/#comments Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:15:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=373 Anyone who can be in contact with Jessie Poland, please let her know I want to marry her. Mostly because of the words she sings (and probably didn’t even write).

P.S. Jessie Poland is the real name of Charlotte Sometimes.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/10/apb/feed/ 0 Why John Mayer Is One Of My Favourite People On Earth. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/09/why-john-mayer-is-one-of-my-favourite-people-on-earth/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/09/why-john-mayer-is-one-of-my-favourite-people-on-earth/#comments Mon, 09 Jun 2008 18:55:16 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=372 Things like this:

JM Takeover Of Gizmodo Liveblog

Hey guys, John Mayer here. Are you guys excited? I’ve just commandeered the computer of my good friend, Jason Chen, who is also very very handsome. That means a lot coming from a guy like me. My other friend, Moby, is also here. Have you guys seen him? He’s really into technology. I love that guy. OK back to Jason.

For those of you not in the know; Jason Chen was liveblogging the Apple WWDC08 Keynote speech Steve Jobs made this morning. Anyone else find it funny that John Mayer (whose tour is presented by Blackberry, and got the “Bold” early) was once again at a Keynote that was entirely about the iPhone? I never had an issue like all the people giving JM flack for entering into a business arrangement with RIM/Blackberry, I am sure Apple was given a chance to and passed, as JM was never a paid endorser of Apple (he just knows what is good for him). However the RIM folk have to be a bit upset that he is still showing up around iPhone announcements.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/09/why-john-mayer-is-one-of-my-favourite-people-on-earth/feed/ 0 Wake Up, Mr. West. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/08/wake-up-mr-west/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/08/wake-up-mr-west/#comments Mon, 09 Jun 2008 06:31:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=371 Last night I had the absolute privilege to see the best musical performance of my life.

I can only describe it as a one man hip hop opera. One man on stage, the band/orchestra in the pit below, and one broken spaceship.

Kanye West just constantly impresses me with each and every thing he does, and it was one of those things in life that I honestly think will stay with me for years and years to come. If you have any way of catching the very few shows left of Glow In the Dark, do it, without any thought, go.

Special thanks to the lovely friends who helped make it an even more wonderful night, and the spectacular people who allowed us to share their suite with us for Mr. West’s performance.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/08/wake-up-mr-west/feed/ 0 A Twist Of The Update Knob. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/03/a-twist-of-the-update-knob/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/03/a-twist-of-the-update-knob/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:03:15 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=361 So I moved my Photography albums over to my .Mac account, and yes this includes my Photography Portfolio. You might be like, “What Photography Portfolio?” And my reply would be, “The one I was cheating on you with.” Anyway, here it is.

I also have an iPhone gallery set up where I will upload pictures straight from the iPhone. I guess that means I will no longer be utilising the Flickr account, but we shall see how that goes and if adding the iPhone gallery RSS to the live section actually works. I’m just not committed to Flickr, Apple and I have far too strong of a relationship for some floozy to come in and pull us apart.

I also, also have a selected gallery of Live Noise. It is, what you thought it was.

Special thanks to; Lindsay Strannigan and Kyle Davidson who each helped me whittle down the Portfolio, and a certain lady friend who used the word “floozy” so much that it is forever attached to her in my mind, for better or worse.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/03/a-twist-of-the-update-knob/feed/ 0 Random Recommendations 6.2.08 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/02/random-recommendations-6208/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/02/random-recommendations-6208/#comments Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:52:06 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=360 Mates of State – Re-arrange Us
Utterly amazing, the best album they have ever written. Chock full of hooks, sugary, angelic, hooks.

Chip Kidd – The Learners
I finally finished this on my trip up North. It’s a powerful book, anyone who went to art school or designs will probably enjoy it, though I think you should read “The Cheese Monkeys” first.

Price Club (Costco)
We like to call it by it’s old name, but regardless, you need more Costco in your life.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/02/random-recommendations-6208/feed/ 1 Brand Tags. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/19/brand-tags/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/19/brand-tags/#comments Mon, 19 May 2008 23:33:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=338 From the world of “Weird things on the internet you aren’t sure what to do with”, comes Brand Tags. It’s an interesting sort of social interaction experiment I guess? Isn’t that what all of these sort of things are supposed to be?

Anyway, it’s pretty fun for killing a few minutes. My personal favourite word association that I personally entered was “45″. I had just been shown the Michael Jordan “Jumpman” logo. If you get that one at all, you are full of tact and wit.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/19/brand-tags/feed/ 0 Y2Khai. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/17/y2khai/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/17/y2khai/#comments Sun, 18 May 2008 01:37:17 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=329 A number of years ago in college, the fellow members of our secret society were in a computer lab, doing secret society things, when one of us stumbled upon a CD-R with the words “Y2KHAI” written on them. Since we were in a lab full of Apple’s we popped it in one and one of the most amazing auditory moments of all our lives happened right then or there.

We never knew how that CD-R found it’s way to us that day, or why, but we never questioned that it was pure destiny. Y2Khai has since never left my iTunes, and after today it should never leave yours. I think I once even burned a copy for Dan Crittenden’s 21st birthday present, which I am sure was the best gift he ever got.

Recently I decided to see what “Y” was up to, and well it’s the same “sweet asian flow” on a seemingly recently made over website. If you haven’t, then you should. MP3′s can be downloaded at his site. Listen now, thank me later.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/17/y2khai/feed/ 0 Manny Ramirez Is My Favourite Ballplayer. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/manny-ramirez-is-my-favourite-ballplayer/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/manny-ramirez-is-my-favourite-ballplayer/#comments Thu, 15 May 2008 14:24:03 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=330 The reasons why are far too numerous to list. Basically Manny is awesome, the whole Manny being Manny is the most entertaining thing in baseball these days. A few days back Manny was talking about how he could/should win a Gold Glove for how he plays the Monster. He really does play it well, and usually he doesn’t play other outfielders with nearly the same quality.

Last night Manny proved all the critics wrong once again. His play in left field in Baltimore is not something we will see again anytime soon.

Keep in mind, that wasn’t after a play, or after an inning, or after anything at all. That was during the play which continues to Manny rocketing the ball into his cut off man, DPeds, who throws Aubrey Huff out at first base. Manny claims he is simply campaigning for his All Star bid.

Manny Ramirez

“I think that’s how you get your All-Star vote, I’m pretty sure that guy’s going to vote for me. One at a time, that’s how it’s going to happen.”

Later in the game Manny continued his normal antics by calling himself safe seconds after he beat out a single, everyone in the place agreed with him, save the first base umpire. Manny play baseball with the kind of joie de vivre I wish every ballplayer had, it’s amazingly fun to watch a guy love what he does that much.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/manny-ramirez-is-my-favourite-ballplayer/feed/ 0 I Am Not A Library. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/13/i-am-not-a-library/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/13/i-am-not-a-library/#comments Wed, 14 May 2008 05:22:43 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=212 Yet.

I accrue books at a rate equal to the exports of small countries. Setting aside the time to spend with a book is to many a luxury, I suppose. A moment to focus on words actually printed on white pages bound together without any connection to the internet. I still find myself battling to enjoy this time, this disconnection.

I realised while making a sarcastic remark today, that I am a book snob. I made the comment that I only buy First Edition Hardcover copies, and I was sort of kidding, except I wasn’t at all. I really do. I have a book subscription, a subscription not just to magazines, not just to a quarterly, but to books. And I love it.

Why do I do all this? Why do I revel in this addiction? Simple. I am the type of person who one day does not want to be able so simply utilise bookcases, or even an entire wall of bookshelf, I want to require an entire room full of books. Shelves on every wall, a library, with a reading chair to sit down and read Catcher In The Rye for the 5782th time.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/13/i-am-not-a-library/feed/ 0 10 Ways Hillary Clinton Can Still Win. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/08/10-ways-hillary-clinton-can-still-win/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/08/10-ways-hillary-clinton-can-still-win/#comments Thu, 08 May 2008 23:01:50 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=320 .
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(you get it, right?)

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/08/10-ways-hillary-clinton-can-still-win/feed/ 0 Escape. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/06/escape/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/06/escape/#comments Wed, 07 May 2008 05:41:01 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=316 I sat down tonight to watch the first episode of the new season of This American Life. TAL is a program about people and their stories, it first aired as a radio program on public radio (which is where the sometimes infamous parrot story originated) and last year was turned into a television show by Showtime. The season premiere was titled “Escape”.

27 year-old Mike Phillips lives with his Mother, and deals with all the same issues a child living under the parents roof go through. Rebellion, Dependency, Disagreements, Control all play a part in Mike’s story. The one factor we never had to go through is Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which has slowed the normal move into Independency to a crawl. SMA keeps Mike confined to a wheelchair, keeps him from communicating normally, keeps him from truly being his own person.

This whole thing sounds incredibly depressing, but it isn’t, at all, it is one hundred percent inspirational, is is hilarious, it is motivating. A few years ago Mike wouldn’t have had much of a future, but technology has advanced faster than the disease can take him, and even though he has numerous near death experiences a year he lives a (sort of) normal life. Just the way Mike speaks of these near death experiences is what truly makes you realise how different his life is. He is so accepting of them, he has thrown in the towel to the fact they are always there. Literally this man could die at any instant and yet he finds the time to enjoy his life, to rebel, to love, to do so many things we don’t.

I said something there about Mike speaking, I should have been more clear, Mike cannot speak. Mike has to click words into a computer (Apple, of course) to communicate with people, the words are then spoken by a computerized voice. The host, Ira Glass, realises how impersonal this whole computer voice is and and asks whom he would like to sound like, if he could pick any person in the world. Mike suggests either Edward Norton or Johnny Depp, “Because they’re both badasses”. A few minutes later, Glass narrates, “Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Depp”.

This was the point it hit me like a load of bricks, where I realised the breadth of this story. Hearing Johnny “freaking” Depp voice the words of Mike Phillips completely broke me, in the most amazing way. Everything clicked, the whole story was twisted in a way that you needed to see it, that this was the kind of story that needed a character the likes of Depp for you to understand. It’s what This American Life does best, it tells a story you might normally block out or brush off after a few moments, and it tells that it in such a way that it will never leave your mind.

I strongly recommend everyone watch this episode, I know it is replaying on Showtime most of this week, and probably on Showtime OnDemand shortly.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/06/escape/feed/ 1 Fenway Time Lapse http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/02/fenway-time-lapse/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/02/fenway-time-lapse/#comments Fri, 02 May 2008 18:09:13 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=306 Lovely look at the crowd filing in, field being prepared, baseball being played, beer being drank, Manny being Manny, Red Sox winning, gorgeous day/night in Boston, crowd exiting in Time Lapse.

Video by Tom Guilmette.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/02/fenway-time-lapse/feed/ 0 AT&T Hotspots, Free For iPhone. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/01/att-hotspots-free-for-iphone/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/01/att-hotspots-free-for-iphone/#comments Thu, 01 May 2008 14:44:00 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=308 AT&T just opened up all their hotspots in the US to iPhone users. B&N, The ‘bucks and more, now free. You might remember a while back they gave free service to anyone who has their internet service, and pledged to open it up to mobile as well. They have finally done that latter. I am anxious to test if this also means wireless customers can enjoy the benefits on their laptop as well, we shall see.

A list of AT&T’s 71,000 hotspots can be found on AT&T’s site, including Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, Airports, and McDonald’s locations.

P.S. T-Mobile is for suckers.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/01/att-hotspots-free-for-iphone/feed/ 1 So We Can Build Up Our Future. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/30/so-we-can-build-up-our-future/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/30/so-we-can-build-up-our-future/#comments Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:04:35 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=296 I personally do believe, that everyone is familiar with Miss Teen South Carolina already, so we can save that link/video/quote. Anyone that listens to Jim Rome also knows how much he loves to play said audio clip, so it should come as no surprise that I found the following image on Rome’s friend Tom Hoffarth’s blog. It’s absolutely brilliant.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/30/so-we-can-build-up-our-future/feed/ 0 I Don’t Know What This Is. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/29/i-dont-know-what-this-is/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/29/i-dont-know-what-this-is/#comments Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:08:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=305 However it’s fairly cool. Oh, it is this.

I believe what it does is take people’s Twitter’s from all over and randomly pulls in ones that use certain words in them. I still don’t know “what” Twitter is, but if I ever find out, I might think this is really amazing or something.

This might kill 2 minutes of your day, that you would otherwise spend thinking about some past love, some failed relationship, some bad decision, some moment lost. For that, you should thank me. Speaking of loves lost, the new Augustana is out today and contains a great song titled “I Still Ain’t OVer You”, if the whole me distracting you thing fails, just listen to this song and relish in your non-over-ness of said love.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/29/i-dont-know-what-this-is/feed/ 2 Los Angeles, On A Monday Night? http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/28/los-angeles-on-a-monday-night/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/28/los-angeles-on-a-monday-night/#comments Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:53:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=303 I usually don’t reserve my blog for things like this, however should anyone in the Los Angeles area be in need of an amazing evening, my good friend William Tell will be playing the Hotel Cafe at 8PM. It will be an amazing time full of pop songs, and people who have way more fun than everyone else. Show up, let’s drink an adult beverage, let’s pretend like we are in high school. That’s pretty much how I have the whole thing planned, all that is missing is you.

Tell just made all his new demos on his MySpace available for download, so you can drive down the 405 singing “Let’s Go To Bed” like the rest of us. Do it.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/28/los-angeles-on-a-monday-night/feed/ 1 Triple Header, Dual Coast. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/25/triple-header-dual-coast/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/25/triple-header-dual-coast/#comments Sat, 26 Apr 2008 01:30:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=298 I use iCal to keep track of my schedule, and I also use it to subscribe to my favourite sport teams schedules. It’s a handy little feature available for almost any team, and having these calendars sync with my iPhone gives me a constant connection to what said teams are up to. I have these calendars not visible in iCal so it doesn’t clutter the daily events, so I rarely notice such jewels as what follows.

Apparently (and according to their subscribe-able calendar) on April 17th, the Boston Red Sox played 3 games… on 2 coasts. I guess that whole 4 season openers in/on; 4 cities, 4 coastlines, 3 countries thing wasn’t enough for them. Usually I think a doubleheader is tough enough, but the BoSox are better than that.

The (currently, though not on April 17) last place Padres could only muster up enough energy to play one game, which they probably lost, because no one on the team is aware that hitting the ball over the outfield fence automatically scores a run.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/25/triple-header-dual-coast/feed/ 0 FOB Live iPhone Wallpaper. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/24/fob-live-iphone-wallpaper/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/24/fob-live-iphone-wallpaper/#comments Thu, 24 Apr 2008 17:34:04 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=287 I had a random moment of FOB fanboy-ism and combined it with my constant Apple fanboy-ism and made a little iPhone wallpaper. I’m a dork, no need to rub it in.

Of course this is obviously based off their new “Live In Phoenix” CD/DVD art, which came out a few weeks back, and is surprisingly better than I thought it would be. Enjoy.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/24/fob-live-iphone-wallpaper/feed/ 1 Political Piledrivers. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/22/political-piledrivers/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/22/political-piledrivers/#comments Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:41:57 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=284 Last evening, the next President of the United States, the leader of the free world, appeared on WWE’s Monday Night Raw. Yes all of the potential President’s, somehow, were conned into appearing on a wrestling show. Every last one of their campaign managers should be fired.

Next up, the decision on the Democratic nomination, live from Gladiator Arena.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/22/political-piledrivers/feed/ 0 Darth Cheney Is Brilliant. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/17/darth-cheney-is-brilliant/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/17/darth-cheney-is-brilliant/#comments Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:12:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=276 Dick Cheney absolutely stole the show at the Radio & TV Correspondents dinner last night. I’m sure he had a brilliant writer working for weeks on this material, but let’s face it the delivery is aces. My personal favourite is around the 3:50 mark, and it just gets better from there. If the last 8 years can be remembered for anything, we can always say we have had the 2 best stand-up comedians in the White House, ever.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/17/darth-cheney-is-brilliant/feed/ 0 An Open Letter To Dodger Stadium. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/15/an-open-letter-to-dodger-stadium/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/15/an-open-letter-to-dodger-stadium/#comments Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:48:47 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=273 Dear Dodger Stadium,
You suck. Not because your stadium has 2 escalators in the whole place even though it was built on a hill, not even because you can only enter the stadium exactly where you are sitting, you suck for the fact that I cannot enjoy a game of baseball without almost dying.

I have 2 allegiances in baseball, Padres and Red Sox, and I had already found my way to Dodger Stadium to support the BoSox in their exhibition game, so last Friday we decided to see Peavy v. Penny and support the Pads. Left field bleachers, no Padres hats present, Kyle, Liz and myself. There we were minding our own business, cheering for our team, witnessing countless Padres fans heckled, assaulted with peanuts, popcorn, seeds, soaked with beer, etc. Granted these fans were a little more outspoken, and finally each one at some point had enough and started throwing things back or yelling back, and every one of them was kicked out. What about the 30-40 Dodger fans who started the whole ordeal? Oh, they were fine, no need to stop that kind of behaviour in the stands.

I really was shocked, I had dealt with some obnoxious Dodger fans at moments in the old days of The Murph, I guess I just expected that to be the exception, not the rule. It is definitely the rule. The Dodger organization apparently supports this kind of behaviour and does not care about the fans of opposing teams and their right to enjoy a ballgame. The Dodger organization is a classless lot, which is probably why their fans like them.

We sat in the front of a section, Dodger fans behind us, it started out quite friendly and the guy directly behind me realised we knew baseball and we had some good fun talking a little trash with a known and vocalized respect that it was all in the fun of the game. I love trash talking, it’s encouraged, but at the end of the day, when the game is over, let’s go have a beer and laugh about whichever of our teams sucked the worse, it’s just a game. So this guy had a couple friends with him, they were apparently die hard fans (whom later told me they didn’t even like the Dodgers, and only came because of a free ticket) who refused to let any sort of friendliness exist with Padres fans. They decided the best way to act was to constantly talk trash and heckle while their team was losing.

Soon they realised we didn’t really care about what they had to say, and if they were gonna annoy us they had to step it up, so they did. Next thing you know I have a guy pulling up my hood. Is this 4th grade? Is this really happening? I shrug it off, whatever, we have style and grace they lack. The Padres continue with the monster 4th inning which seems to seriously upset said Dodger fans. Now they have moved on to poking us in the back, now mind you the main offender was already warned to stop causing trouble earlier when he was throwing seeds at people, so I turn around and tell the guy that if he touches me again, I’ll tell security he is back to throwing seeds at people and there happens to be a huge pile right behind me that will dispute his surefire response to not having anymore seeds, of course since it’s 4th grade he pokes me in the back once I turn around.

So then I turn and glare, and this guy thinks it’s a good idea to touch my face, now I know how this stuff works, he wants me to hit him, but I’d rather introduce him to the full face wipe, and then it gets a little heated and out of precaution Kyle restrains me. So I walk over to security, let them know the guys behind us are “poking and touching us the whole game” (yes, definitely the creepiest thing I have said in a while) and that I want them thrown out. So security takes them out, for 10 minutes, and then lets them back in. Wait, what? Yeah, apparently they just needed a time out. Well knowing these guys behaviour and track record you can bet they didn’t just calm down after almost being kicked out. Instead they tried to plot what they would do to us once they got their chance.

The main flaw in trying to plan an attack on people sitting right in front of you, is that they are right in front of you. I heard every word, and was planning my counter attack. My counter attack was brilliant and mostly involved ducking and shoving him down the stairs. I spent the rest of the game waiting for these guys to jump out of their seat and try to hit me, it was a really great way to enjoy a Padres victory. They stayed seated because a couple of LAPD had posted up near our section, joining the security a few feet away from us. I was even more excited for the assault now, knowing I would get to press charges, but eventually the officers decided to walk across to the opposite end of the bleacher, and conveniently the security guard left too.

The chatter of their plans grew more intense, and I kept an eye turned towards the main offender. Kyle and I exchanged some glances that ensured we were on the same page. During one of my looks back, the third rabble-rouser who was very intoxicated decided to show me the knife he had. He pulled it out of his pocket, and gave me a look that wasn’t very welcoming. I’ve never been in a knife fight, and I imagine they aren’t like the ones in Westside Story, I imagine this guy is the sort to let his friends start a commotion and slip in and stab somebody in the middle of it all.

So to make sure we are all up to speed, the Dodger fans behind us, who were only there because of free tickets, who had already been kicked out for their behaviour, but then were allowed back in, who were also allowed in with a knife, were behind us plotting their attack. After 2 outs in the ninth, we left, I turned around to the 2 sober ones and said “guys, it’s only a game”, extended my hand to them and left.

Thanks for the great night of baseball Los Angeles.

Interested in the Dodger Stadium code of conduct? I wonder if anyone who works there has ever read that?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/15/an-open-letter-to-dodger-stadium/feed/ 1 Oh, The Irony. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/11/oh-the-irony/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/11/oh-the-irony/#comments Sat, 12 Apr 2008 02:40:51 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=266 I found this brilliant advertisement on some website for the “Idiot Test”. It’s amazing when people are trying to get across a message on the topic of intelligence and then disobey the established rules of the English language. Is it an idiot test based on the fact no one intelligent would click on it?

Idiot Test

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are clicking on the idiot test do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t know it’s “an” and uh, I believe that our, I, grammar like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like, such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our idiot test over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/11/oh-the-irony/feed/ 2 iPhone Optimized. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/08/iphone-optimized/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/08/iphone-optimized/#comments Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:38:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=260 A few months back I made the switch to an iPhone optimized admin version of WordPress, so my Mobile posting would be easier. A few weeks back I added an iPhone version (basically just a stylesheet) of this entire blog you are reading. Those of you on iPhone’s already noticed the last one, unfortunately no one but me gets to enjoy the first one. Why did I do these things on a device that gets “The Real Internet”? Simple, because they add function and ease, cut out the fluff and give you what you want when you a look that agrees with the iPhone experience.

A lot of people find iPhone versions of websites to be odd, dividing and others think it’s just the trendy version of a mobile site. I agree that it’s strange the fact that a device with the best (and most compatible) mobile browser available is responsible for a boom in optimising for specific devices, it’s ironic of course. However what a lot of people miss in this whole iPhone optimized craze, is that these versions enable the end user to do more (and spend more time on the site) through increased functionality and cross-tasking with the iPhone OS.

Thus, I bring my list of my favourite iPhone optimised websites (I left out the so-called “webapps” because they aren’t an iPhone version of an existing site):
1. Facebook – This borders between “webapp” and optimised site, but it blows away everything else and was one of the first. I am sure come June this will transform into a Facebook App on the iPhone, but for now, this takes the cake.
2. Google Grand Prix – This started out as a Google employee’s own personal project, and once the people at “The G” saw how brilliantly it ties together all the Google App Suite (Search, GMail, Reader, Calendar, et al) it was quickly green-lit for release.
3. Media Temple – Add email addresses on the go, Reboot the server upon a random crash at 11PM on a Friday night, et al. Probably not things very many of you need in your life, but for me this is a must.
4. Digg – Every few weeks I run into someone who JUST heard about Digg. It’s never ceases to amaze me. For all those who don’t know Digg, you should, and you should also know I’m addicted to it.
5. CBS News – CBS News recently became my favourite source for news, because of this really well done iPhone version. All the news that’s fit to touch.

Honorable Mention:
Trustkill Records – I recently got an email about this from a friend of mine at a label, along with asking my thoughts on it. I summed it up by saying it’s brilliantly well done, but I just don’t feel a record label website has the kind of readership to necessitate an iPhone version. They do a great job tying it into all the iPhone can do (iTMS, YouTube, etc.). Personally, I wouldn’t find myself on this site multiple times on my iPhone, but for those that would, you get quite the experience.

If I were to include websites who have a mobile version, and said mobile version includes an iPhone icon (for saving to your home screen), this list would also include The New York Times, and The LA Times. However these sites are just general mobile versions that look stellar on the iPhone and take advantage of only some of the iPhone technology. My criteria for a full iPhone optimization was basically that links were not just text, but utilize the entire graphical area (yes I’m aware of how little sense this makes to anyone that doesn’t use an iPhone, deal).

Have any to add, think I made bad choices? “Talk to me Goose”.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/08/iphone-optimized/feed/ 4 One More Day. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/06/one-more-day/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/06/one-more-day/#comments Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:03:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=258 So a few years back Chauntelle DuPree from Eisley got together at a writing workshop with Zac Hanson and Jon Crosby from VAST to write/record. I’m not really sure the intricacies of it all, but from it came one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. Chauntelle stopped singing for Eisley a while ago (some say citing a lack of confidence), which is an absolute shame when you hear her voice. Last I saw her, she was stage right, playing guitar with no microphone in front of her singing her heart out. Anyway, the song they came out of that moment is called “One More Day”, somehow that recording found it’s way to me shortly thereafter and ever since it has touched me in ways few songs can.

Recently (read: last year, cause I’m apparently not on the VAST mailing list) Jon and VAST recorded “One More Day” for their latest album “April”.

I’m still partial to the “demo” version with Chauntelle singing, but both of them are absolute treasures. I tend to think this song would be the most romantic thing ever, if it weren’t so depressing.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/06/one-more-day/feed/ 0 Sweded Tron. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/02/sweded-tron/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/02/sweded-tron/#comments Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:20:42 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=256 First I should probably explain what “Swedeing” a movie is for those out there who aren’t familiar with the term. It all comes from Michel Gondry’s film “Be Kind Rewind” which is about a couple guys in a rental store who find themselves with a store full of erased tapes (that they caused). They decide to re-create the films on their own, and rent them out to people like nothing has changed.

Wikipedia

The tapes are described as having come from Sweden as an excuse for higher rental fees and longer wait times.

In light of the theme of swedeing, director Michel Gondry swedes a version of the trailer of the film, starring Gondry himself. On the official website, users can engage in swedeing, which puts their faces on the VHS cover of a movie. The Be Kind Rewind YouTube minisite also encourages filmmakers to swede their own versions of popular movies.

With that out of the way you are all ready to see the most amazing thing ever. Sweded Tron, Sweded-freaking-lightcycle-scene-from-Tron. I should probably admit right now that I love Tron, it’s the best film Jeff Bridges was in that isn’t called “The Big Lebowski”, and I cannot wait for the anniversary release.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/02/sweded-tron/feed/ 1 Sometimes I Take Pictures. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/01/sometimes-i-take-pictures/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/01/sometimes-i-take-pictures/#comments Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:43:44 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=254 A few weeks back I spent a Saturday laughing hysterically, breaking into foyers and pointing my camera at a friend of mine. The goal for the day was some new publicity type shots for William Tell. William finally put a few of them up over at his MySpace (which he revamped) along with a new song (which is great), so now I can share them as well.

Check out the rest over at his MySpace as well as some great pop hits.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/01/sometimes-i-take-pictures/feed/ 1 Fantasy Baseball 2008. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/31/fantasy-baseball-2008/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/31/fantasy-baseball-2008/#comments Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:09:16 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=252 It’s that time of the year again, baseball is upon us. I love baseball, but it’s hard to be really into every game, every day, every second, that’s why a fantasy league that you set the lineup once a week is perfect. Chad and I did this ESPN league a few years back, and we had fun with it, so I am starting one up and hoping people will join the fun. It’s basically a salary cap fantasy game, lineups weekly, and doesn’t require complete submergence in weeks of fantasy research (this means you Kyle).

Go ahead, join it, and let the trash talking begin. If anyone wants to get into a crazy full on drafting league where we geek out over weird stats, let me know, I’m game for one.

League Info

Get in the action now:

http://games.espn.go.com/bbc/group?groupID=6951

Game Front:

http://games.espn.go.com/bbc/frontpage

Group: Don’t Say Industry
Password: redsox

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/31/fantasy-baseball-2008/feed/ 2 Red Sox Mid-Season Exhibition Games. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/30/red-sox-mid-season-exhibition-games/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/30/red-sox-mid-season-exhibition-games/#comments Mon, 31 Mar 2008 02:49:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=250 Today we (Kyle, Brandon, Josh x3, Yoori and I) took the trek over to Dodger Stadium, which while it’s parking and entrance set up are the best designed public use facilities in Los Angeles (which still doesn’t say much), the rest of the stadium set up is turrrrrible (like Charles Barkley). Apparently someone there thinks it’s smart that you can only enter the stadium in the exact area you are sitting, and Dodger Stadium was built on a hill, so you pretty much see the issue here. Why exactly would we go to a Dodger game? Easy, it was a Red Sox exhibition game, after they had already played their first 2 games of the season.

Brandon drove separately because they had to stop in Van Nuys (read: he doesn’t know Dodger Stadium isn’t south of Van Nuys), and once they finally got there a lovely time of heckling Yankee fans (seriously why do they show up to Dodger v. Red Sox and Angels v. Red Sox games?) and trying to convince Planet Man Ram that he didn’t need to worry about the game. Manny was focused though, and played a solid outfield for 4 innings (read: he didn’t have one ball hit to him).

Planet Man Ram

I tried to convince the concession lady to put duct tape (or scribble with a Sharpie) over the Dodger’s logo on the Souvenir cup, she wouldn’t so I went with a small beverage and a Red Sox dog (there are somethings you will never do, and I won’t support the Dodgers even in my ordering habits). Cocoa Crisp made 2 terrible plays out of routine flies in center, to show us all why he lost the starting job to Ellsbury, and later showed us all why he is great trade bait as he caught one while diving into the wall.

Buchholz drove his pre-season ERA to >9, while I refused to make eye contact with, while berating, the Silverlake girls in front of us.

Dialogue With Silverlake Girl

Her: Why is every Boston fan so grumpy?
Me: I’ll throw ice at you.
Her: I think you need a beer.
Me: I think you need a shower.

It was an absolutely lovely day at the game, and even though the Sox failed to score a run, we left the day happy, because, after all, the Sox are in first place.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/30/red-sox-mid-season-exhibition-games/feed/ 1 Things Change, Dawson, People Change. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/#comments Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:25:49 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/ James Van Der Beek has been making strange resurgences in my life lately. A few weeks back it was randomly coming across Varsity Blues on TV, in HD (so we had to watch). Just a few nights ago it was some drunken late night Dawson’s Creek viewing, and debating if we were on Dawson or Pacey’s side. Just last night came the most outlandish Van Der Beek’ing of them all. Let me set it up for you.

Kyle, my flatmate, had the brilliant idea of a little drunken Rock Band’ing on a Tuesday night. He got this idea at Yard House Happy Hour, I obliged. I had a lot of catching up to do, so upon my arrival it was pretty much beer in hand for the rest of the night, on one occasion it was 2 beers in hand and being thankful for mic stands. So we began the rock, I believe the first song I sang I got a 67% on. Basically that means it was horrible, I have no recollection of what song it was. By 9PM we were both good and buzzed, and performing at a level unknown to most. 199% on Blink (it’s possible, when your guitarist fails at the outro of the first 100% run through of the song), 100% on Wonderwall, even >90% runs on Black Sabbath. We were legends, we were being considered for Hall of Fame status, and then it happened.

Kyle Davidson

“How cool would it be if James Van Der Beek just came over?”

There you have it Ladies and Gentleman, the strangest words ever uttered.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/feed/ 1 I Definitely, Didn’t, Not Find The Cloverfield Monster. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/#comments Tue, 25 Mar 2008 04:45:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/ I know, I know… the boy who cried “I found the Cloverfield monster” strikes again. Don’t believe me, that’s fine, but remember how that whole “boy who cried wolf” thing ended. The destruction of New York City, that’s how.

You tell me, if this isn’t the Cloverfield monster, what is it?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/feed/ 0 I Hate Sarah Marshall. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/#comments Sun, 23 Mar 2008 18:22:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/ The love affair with this film continues today, because I just realised I never passed along the link, yeah THE link, the one you need in your life, the one that made me happy, the one that saved that puppy from the burning fire, the one that invented Gin & Tonic’s. Yeah that one.

Brilliant.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/feed/ 0 Random Recs 3.22.08 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/#comments Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:27:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/ Solea – Finally We Are Nowhere – Texas Is The Reason recorded one of the most perfect albums ever, Garret Klahn can do no wrong.
Death Cab For Cutie – I Will Possess Your Heart (Single) – I started listening to this “single” and the vocals didn’t come in till the 4 minute mark, Death Cab may be back.
New iPhone – Apple, thank you for amazing customer service and always treating me splendidly and respecting my honourary genius status. Also thank you for the entertainment you provide while you swap out my phone; a kid who wanted to do “something” with his iPhone because he doesn’t get service at his house.
Wednesday – … is the new weekend, and apparently we will be at the Stone Rose until further notice.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/feed/ 0 Remembering, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/#comments Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:07:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/ So FSM comes out next month. I’m rather excited, and you may remember my earlier post about FSM, if not head over there to get filled in on what will either be my favourite film of 08, or the end of my crush on Kristen Bell.

Recently in the village of Los Angeles the FSM marketing has started up. It’s absolutely brilliant, and I have heard quite a few people talking about how they had no idea what it was until they saw one of the ads and checked it out. That’s what marketing is supposed to do right, expand the potential target market? Anyway, the transit marketing consists of signs that say things like, “My Mom always hated you Sarah Marshall”, “I’m so over you Sarah Marshall”, and my personal favourite “You do look fat in those jeans Sarah Marshall” (Ed. Note: Kristen Bell is perfect, so this one is a little hard bit unrealistic).

Thursday as I was driving over to work from the home of one “Young Beverly Hills Adjacent”, after another amazing evening night at the Stone Rose where the game of “Beezerays” was invented, I snapped a pic of another one of the transit ads. Remind me to tell you about “Beezerays”, it’s a fun game, and strangely fun for Men AND Women, which is weird once you find out the game. I have been told that this game may only work in the greater metropolitan ares, so you may have to adapt it for your own use, and remember be polite.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/feed/ 0 Photoshopolicious. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/#comments Fri, 21 Mar 2008 17:56:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/ I came across this lovely blog the other day, which makes fun of all the very apparent photoshop jobs done in marketing. This is the kind of stuff I thought only my friends and I geeked out over, well this stuff and fonts, and Rachel Bilson, who coincidentally is featured in a post at the blog I just tried to send you to.

For the record I don’t care what anyone says, R Bils is perfect, on that cover, in real life, and especially in the Last Kiss, which is a film starring Zach Braff, which will make you depressed, which is probably good for a change; I have noticed you are way too happy these days.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/feed/ 0 Reason #549607 Why I Love Google. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/#comments Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:46:17 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/ Google TiSP.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/feed/ 0 Urban Meyer Is Amazing. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/#comments Tue, 18 Mar 2008 15:27:10 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/ The Floriduh (SIC, Ed.) Gators won the National Championship not long ago, in two sports. They recently became pretty lame in both sports, but I really don’t expect that to last long (or I really don’t expect the current teams to survive if they keep this up).

Basketball Coach Billy Donovan locked his players out of their practice facility, only a few days after he said that his team wasn’t committed and doubts they ever will be.

ESPN

Coach Billy Donovan, feeling like his players had settled into a state of complacency and entitlement, banned them from Florida’s $12 million facility. He also told them they couldn’t wear any Florida attire.

This is absolutely the most amazing thing a coach has ever done. It’s absolutely fantastic to see a Coach react to his teams lack of effort by taking away the comforts that they have grown so accustomed to (some Pro Coaches should probably take this approach, starting with the Knickerbockers). ESPN went on to discuss how bad the Gators are this year, how awesome Donovan is, and how they are going to lose to my Alma Mater SDSU in the opening round of the NIT*.

If you are wondering why the title of this brings up Urban Meyer, the UF Football coach, he is the one who originally sprung this move on his Gators team in 2005.

* I made this up, probably.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/feed/ 0 The Whatever Bias. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/#comments Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:19:32 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/ So last week I was reading this article on MSNBC.com, and I sort of found it an interesting read while at the same time something tripped me up about it. Finally over this past weekend I realised what it was: This is news? Let me get this straight, some guys theory based on the fact that some plants grow in a location, and those plants were used in a different location, oceans away, as a hallucinogen is enough evidence for discrediting Moses and quite a few religious texts?

British philosophy journal Time and Mind

Benny Shanon of Jerusalem’s Hebrew University said two plants in the Sinai desert contain the same psychoactive molecules as those found in plants from which the powerful Amazonian hallucinogenic brew ayahuasca is prepared.

I’m not defending the idea that maybe everything in the Bible isn’t exactly how it seems. I am a huge supporter of painting with a broader brush, when it comes to religious texts, and I think there are a lot of writings and unknowns out there that can enhance and strengthen the foundation the Bible says. However, this little theory is just a little too speculative and fact-less for my liking (and I love conspiracy theories).

The story gets better when you find out that Benny Shanon is an expert. An expert of what exactly?

MSNBC

Shanon wrote that he was very familiar with the affects of the ayahuasca plant, having “partaken of the … brew about 160 times in various locales and contexts.”

So now the whole thing just becomes funny, would we listen to an addict tell us how Washington’s crossing of the Delaware was really a fabrication they came up with while high in an opium den? The most glaringly odd part of this article is the title “Was Moses high on Mount Sinai?”, because from everything presented in the article itself the only thing the theory even discusses is that the people who witnessed the event may have had hallucinations, not Moses himself.

Kudos, MSNBC, your journalistic integrity is at an all time low. I actually had to check several times upon reading this article that I hadn’t accidentally wound up on The Onion’s website.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/feed/ 0 Reason #371200 Why I Love David Letterman. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/12/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/12/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/#comments Wed, 12 Mar 2008 09:51:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/ Last night on Letterman, he discussed Eliot Spitzer’s penchant for “banging whores”. Now Letterman has no problem with the practice, he just doesn’t want him doing it on the state’s time. He also took up issue with Spitzer debating what he will do now that the truth has come out, rather than step down immediately and let someone actually run the state. His reasoning for this is absolutely brilliant:

David Letterman

“What if those snakes over there in New Jersey decide to attack us?”

It’s nice to finally have New York’s Governor a bigger joke than (not) my Governor.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/12/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/feed/ 0 Random Recs 3.11.08 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/#comments Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:20:04 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/ We The Kings – We The Kings – Yes I love pop music, so sue me.
Accepted – I still haven’t seen it, true. However I lied about seeing it last week, this weekend watched a good 45 minutes of it, and set the DVR to record it for next weekends viewing. Justin Long + Jonah Hill = Amazing.
Augutana – Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt (EP) – I don’t think anything will ever top “Boston” to me (mostly due to personal attachment), but “Sweet and Low” is one of the best songs I have heard since the 90′s, it is absolutely everything I love in a song.
Yogurt – Yeah, I am recommending you get some live culture in you, everyone could use more.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/feed/ 1 1 Sign You Shouldn’t Hire This Guy. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/#comments Sun, 09 Mar 2008 17:39:26 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/ So a few weeks back this was posted on the internet and has made its rounds, it has become pretty popular not because what the guy is saying is right (or necessarily wrong), but because of how he says it and how offensive he tries to be.

When it comes to people who work on websites all day, there are quite a few interesting ones in the lot, this guy however is just not in touch with reality. He has a few solid points as his platform, but then screws it all up with his delivery by being so absolutely polarizing that it becomes hilarious. I’m like a 3 at creating for the internet, but some of my closest friends are absolute internet legends, and they would tell you there are always exceptions to almost all of these rules.

For most people, this should just be a funny post to see how people who geek out on making the internet argue with each other about things that really don’t matter. Enjoy.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/feed/ 0 The Steve. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/#comments Sat, 08 Mar 2008 06:28:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/ Someone had way too much time on their hands, but for that I am thankful.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/feed/ 0 SEO v LOL. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/#comments Fri, 07 Mar 2008 02:42:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/ SEO, means Search Engine Optimization. Every competent web person is usually savvy with this term, and will tell you what you can do to increase the likelihood that someone finds you on the internet (or better yet, how you can pay them to optimize your page). Then there is the famous “Google Algorithm” and how it’s pretty much smarter than most people graduating from the Art Institute of CA (I can say these things, it’s my alma mater). Over the years countless people have made claims they can “get you the top result on Google” and other ridiculous things that are pretty much impossible to pull off.

However, I had never seen someone claim to be able to move you away from the top results, let along move only certain results related to you down the line. That all changed today with Complaint Remover, which claims to “stop defamation by positioning links on the Search Engines and by appeals to law to remove negative information”.

If that isn’t the most hilarious thing in and of itself, The Consumerist decided to have some fun with Complaint Remover and defend the freedom of the internets, and cat breeders.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/feed/ 0 Archival. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/#comments Tue, 04 Mar 2008 03:56:31 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/ Over the weekend I added some various, random, writings that span all the way back to 2002. For those of you not in the know, 2002 was when blogging was invented*, and I was right there changing the world.

If you peruse these archives, you will find; early morning drives, Cheetah conservation, vague reminiscing, 11 o’clock news play-by-play, a reminisce vaguely worded, run-on sentences, moments, earlier morning drives (at the end of a roadtrip), and surely a lot of poor grammar.

If you are interested in my more literary type endeavours, this would be your gin.

* I totally made this up, I am quite capable of wiki’ing “blog” and “knowing” it was created earlier, but that would be boring and predictable.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/feed/ 0 Do You Want To Lose A Few Brain Cells? http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/#comments Thu, 28 Feb 2008 03:25:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/ Then head directly here, it’s kind of amazing, it’s totally a train wreck, and you won’t leave for hours.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/feed/ 2 Random Recs 2.26.08 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/#comments Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:30:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/ Coconut Records – Nighttiming – So I got addicted to “West Coast” way late in the game, and the full album finally came last week, and yeah… I’m pretty much in love with this record.
Wearing A Watch – After some six years without, I am back to telling time on my wrist.
Scissors For Lefty – Got Your Moments – This song is my new addiction, which may lead me to the rest of their catalogue. For now I will rock this on repeat (from Rob’s Party Mix/Cloverfield), a lot.
Disneyland – Annual Passes back in effect, Kyle and I will be there almost every Sunday from here until we are banned.
Fresh Sourdough Bread – See above, and the fact they have a Boudin’s bakery in California Adventure; so what if we do our grocery shopping at a theme park?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/feed/ 3 Amazing Campaign By-products. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/23/amazing-campaign-by-products/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/23/amazing-campaign-by-products/#comments Sat, 23 Feb 2008 17:04:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/24/amazing-campaign-by-products/ I really cannot decide which is better:
Barack Obama being my new bicycle; or Hillary Clinton being my new bicycle.

However, I definitely know which candidate I would support by wearing baseball inspired campaign shirts.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/23/amazing-campaign-by-products/feed/ 0 Michael Bay Gets His Oscar. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/#comments Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:07:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/ The Onion usually stays with stories I think are hilariously funny, yet leave me craving the 3-10 minutes I just lost to them back. This however is beyond hilarious and only left me wanting more.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/feed/ 0 What It Is: What It Is. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/#comments Wed, 20 Feb 2008 23:18:33 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/ My good friend and former roommate Paul G. Maziar once said the following:

Paul G. Maziar

“Banning AIM is like so ’01.”

That however is a different story, for a different day. Paul wrote a book of words called What It Is: What It Is, and the best way to describe it is to write down your train of thought while your mind is reflecting upon a million things at once, while reveling in a few thousand other things, all while processing your immediate surroundings far too intricately, only more intelligent than all of that.

The following is either an excerpt from his new book, something he randomly emailed me because I sent him a picture I took of him in Mexico, or all of the above:

Mexico City Blues

Half-sunken steamboat with barking, oofing sea lions—all rusted, green and dirty-white
in the trash-workman haze off the coast of Mexico. While panicking in the midst of
crowds of average Americans and foreign stewards, quieted the too-fast breathing and
thought of my timing-life from well-knowing intent—I became momentarily comforted in
my own decisions. We can kick our bodies to the curb and wonder why later—in any
clothes upon any soil—or wash our faces with humble hands, then paint the fences of all
the blasphemous buildings—or souls really never are confined. – December 17th.

December 18th and Lindsay feels drunk on herself in our rooms on the ship—with T-Rex
on the speakers—lulling through the hours with others—other consciousnesses spilling
into her head, but she’s sweeter than she is dirty, and thirty minutes in the shower keeps
her spinning on the slow-side.

We spent 30 minutes in our separate showers contemplating and both came out in
stripes.

A tiny white bird, anonymous and swooping finds the only thing to do—one thing to
suffice and that’s finding food.

Are we the only beasts on earth who poison ourselves mostly out of haphazard
circumstance?

You can find out more about Paul’s book, which is a collaboration with Matt Maust (of the Cold War Kids) supplying visuals, at the MySpace and you can order the book from Write Bloody directly. I also recommend heading over to the MySpace and grabbing the audio recording “Lost In Begginings” which is Paul reading over some music by one of the guys from Goddamn Electric Bill, it’s quite a great introduction.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/feed/ 2 Free Katie Holmes. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/#comments Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:01:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/ This should be the single battle cry for anyone against Scientology.


Photo courtesy of Rob Sheridan, who did some amazing work on the NIN “With Teeth” photography.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/feed/ 0 How To Flirt. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/#comments Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:50:49 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/ Who else finds this one of the most absolutely hilarious things ever?

How To Flirt

My thoughts upon first viewing:
1. “Hi” is a pick up line?
2. Being from Long Island is a “big red circle with a line through it”.
3. Shouldn’t a video that will be posted online about “how to flirt”, just show some guy and girl “MySpacing” and “AIMing” back and forth? Such as?
4. Talk about Butterflies, but then rub your arm all seductively. What?
5. Step 6: Alcohol?!?
6. “If a persons feet are facing you, he or she is interested”. Does this rule apply to all moments in life? Sweet.
7. So you shouldn’t touch a guy below the belt, but kissing him within 5 minutes is perfectly acceptable?
8. Was that even her wine?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/feed/ 0 Skateboarding Is Not A Crime. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/#comments Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:28:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/ Voluntary Manslaughter however is. Good thing for the driver that this guy made it.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/feed/ 0 Life Lessons 2.9.08 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/#comments Sun, 10 Feb 2008 03:51:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/ Excerpts from the lessons we all should have learned much sooner:

#27356
Singing “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” at karaoke when the only words you know are the title of the song, is never a good idea.

#81279
Upon the bridge of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”, when executing “The Move” (you know the one), try limiting your knee slide to under 5 feet in length to avoid a sudden lack in epidermis on your knee.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/feed/ 0 Starry Nights & Salty Seas Tour. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/#comments Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:22:36 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/ I recently did some work for my friends in Sherwood for their first headlining tour, dubbed Starry Nights & Salty Seas. The tour goes around the United Stated in vectors and along with Sherwood you can see The Matches or Houston Calls, The Higher and We Shot The Moon. The tour marketing art was based off the artwork of their LP, so it was just a lot of tweaking and refining and echoing the original style of the art, but it came together nicely. I also did a backdrop for the band, which I thought I would give you a look at here, where flashing lights and Rock N’ Roll won’t get in the way. I kept it fairly large, so anyone craving a new desktop wallpaper could give in to the craving.

I attended the Hollywood, CA stop of the tour, and it was quite the show. My personal highlight was when Sherwood covered The Get Up Kids “Holiday” (One of my all time favourite songs) and some guy in the crowd responded by flipping off the stage for the entire song. Guess you aren’t allowed to play TGUK’s without checking with him. Also, The Matches put on quite a performance, I never seem to get into their records, but everytime I see them live it makes me wonder why I don’t.

You can check out the tour dates here.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/feed/ 0 Glow In The Dark. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/#comments Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:55:48 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/ Is it wrong that I’m looking forward to this tour more than anything this year? It is the absolute perfect line up to quench my inner urban self. I am officially forming a crew to journey with me to this event, bright all over printed hoodies and sweet kicks will be mandatory, call or write, don’t come strapped.

While you are getting ready, do yourself a favour and grab a pair of Stronger Shades (Okay they are sold out, you can find some on the bay though are back in stock).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/feed/ 1 Clove Out Boy (or Cloverfield on High). http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/#comments Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:44:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/ So the talent that is Peter Wentz wrote in his journal a week and a half back about how Cloverfield, or writer Drew Goddard, was in some way, shape, or form influenced by “Infinity On High”.

Peter Wentz

Drew Goddard, who we’re a big fan of, from buffy the vampire slayer and lost wrote this movie and based much of it on infinity on high- which i didn’t learn until after i’d seen the movie. now in retrospect he pointed to some of the lines specifically, mostly on “the takeover”. its interesting to see someone else’s interpretation of your songs. anyway, if you get a chance check out the movie (and keey your eyes open at the end).

Well this only makes my love for Cloverfield and FOB greater, but it turns out it was a little less Wizard Of Oz, a little more “inspiration”. Did you catch that clever little reference? Drew Goddard cleared it up with MTV today.

Drew Goddard

“To clarify … I was playing their album the whole time while writing ‘Cloverfield.’ I don’t want to undercut [the idea that the movie was inspired by FOB's album], but it was just that the album came out at the same time as I was writing the script, and the way I work, I need music on in the background, and I was playing it, so it was inspiring in that sense, so I told them it was inspiring,” Goddard said. “There may have been confusion as far as the movie being inspired by it — and I did mention the whole Pink Floyd/ ‘Wizard of Oz’ thing, because I bet you would see some crazy sh– there — but it certainly was not a track-by-track plan.”

Either way it’s refreshing to know the minds behind such a wonderful film enjoy some pop hits mixed in with all the the indie they slid into the film.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/feed/ 0 Rob’s Party Mix. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/#comments Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:06:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/ A few days ago I managed to secure a copy of “Rob’s Party Mix”, which was given out at the NYC Cloverfield Party that was effectively Rob’s Party. Supposedly there are only a few hundred of these things, you know how I love “limited edition, hand numbered” items and collecting music, so this will be a great addition to the collection. I should be receiving it any day in the post, but for those less fortunate I present “the list.”

  • Rob’s Party Mix:
    1. Coconut Records – “West Coast”
    2. Kings of Leon – “Taper Jean Girl”
    3. Sean Kingston – “Beautiful Girls”
    4. The Blood Arm – “Do I Have Your Attention”
    5. Scissors For Lefty – “Got Your Moments”
    6. Parliament – “Give Up the Funk”
    7. Gorillaz – “19-2000″
    8. Spoon – “The Underdog”
    9. Kings of Leon – “Pistol of Fire”
    10. Architecture in Helsinki – “Do The Whirlwind”
    11. The Black Keys – “Grown So Ugly”
    12. Bright Eyes – “Four Winds”
    13. Joan As Policewoman – “The Ride”
    14. Ratatat – “Seventeen Years”
    15. Of Montreal – “Wraith Pinned To The Mist and Other Games”
    16. Mucc – “Fuzz”

    • For those interested in assembling your own MP3 version of a great party mix, Hypeful has done the work for you.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/feed/ 3     Helvetica. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/#comments Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:30:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/ A few months ago I went to one of the West Coast premieres of a film called Helvetica in Laguna Beach. The film was directed by Gary Hustwit and is about, you guessed it, one of the most popular fonts ever, Helvetica. Kyle, Vincent and myself made the journey down to parts of the OC we rarely grace, and it was absolutely worth the trek.

    Notable about this film is that a large portion of the music is by El Ten Eleven (with some The Album Leaf thrown in for good measure). El Ten Eleven is a band Kyle discovered a few years ago at some random show that is comprised of two men who loop guitars on the fly in unbelievable ways, and were the rhythm section of The Incredible Moses Leroy, whom I was quite fond of, whom were last performing as The Soft Lighties. Did you get all that?

    David Carson also did the movie poster for the film, and guess what font he didn’t use? Helvetica of course, gotta admit that whole unpredictable thing is getting rather predictable. Anyway, you can now view the entire film right here, in this post. Go grab some popcorn, we will wait for you.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/feed/ 1     Random Recs 1.24.08 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/#comments Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:46:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/ Cloverfield – Of course.
    Weatherbox – Their new album American Art is quite lovely. Rocks a little heavy, lyrics like a prose.
    “Tom Brady is a Yankee at heart” Shirts – I will be making these, he just deserves it. He is everything a Bostonian isn’t.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/feed/ 0     I Found The Cloverfield Monster. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/#comments Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:05:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/ This morning on my way into work, I saw something that looked familiar, in a devastating way. The fear it invoked in me as I realised I had solved the mystery of Cloverfield was as equal as the excitement. There… staring back at me… in the sky… right there… on a Boys Town billboard of all places!

    Okay, okay, so Boys Town just has a horrible logo. I even blew it up a bit and blurred it to make it look a little more mysterious for your viewing pleasure. I saw this thing this morning and was so confused, but then I found out Boys Town is a Jester training academy, so it makes total sense now.

    The other night I apparently lured Brandon into all the Cloverfield side stories, and realised quite a few people might be missing out on some of the Cloverfield “Universe”. For those of you who didn’t geek out for months over Cloverfield, this should catch you up on a fair amount, but if you haven’t seen it, there are spoilers over there.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/feed/ 1     Cloverfield’ing. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/#comments Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:46:24 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/ So I saw Cloverfield last Friday. It was pretty much exactly what I was hoping for. The writing was spectacular, the character development was far deeper than what you normally find in Monster/Horror films, the cinematography was a work of art. I know a lot of people in the theatre I was in wanted it to be all about the monster, and were disappointed when it wasn’t and when it didn’t wrap up neatly; however these are the exact reasons why this film is already eating away at me to see it again.

    I think the best description of what to expect of this film was by Abrams himself:

    JJ Abrams on Cloverfield

    “A Cameron Crowe movie meets ‘Godzilla’ meets ‘Blair Witch Project’…”

    I absolutely love a movie filled with characters whom you see parts of yourself in, even their darker moments, and this movie does that to me in a way I haven’t experienced since “The Rules Of Attraction”. It’s innovative in a myriad of ways (amazingly so), but it’s backed up by the solid foundational elements most big budget films miss. This is the sort of genre shifting film that shows Hollywood; there are more talented actors out there than the regular big name stars they shove down our throats, there are more talented thinkers, writers and producers out there who still want the art of cinema to evolve, CGI and effects don’t have to be the main focus of a shot and can seamlessly fit with the live footage.

    If you haven’t yet seen it, you need to; if you have already seen it, geek out over Slusho, jamieandteddy.com, and Tagruato and call me up for Round 2.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/feed/ 0     Heath Ledger Dead. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/#comments Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:58:09 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/ So Chad Pearson just informed me the Heath Ledger was found dead in NYC this afternoon. The NY times fills in the details:

    NY Times

    “The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28.”

    A man has passed far too before his time, and all I can help to think about is how lasting this will make his performance in The Dark Night, which opens this summer. I believe it is the final film he has completed, and if standing as his final performance, should be quite spectacular (and perhaps a fitting end to his career).

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/feed/ 0     Randall Paul Jenkins, Live. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/#comments Sun, 20 Jan 2008 18:13:19 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/ So last night I debuted the “RPJ, Live” portion of this website. I am not yet one for the immediate Twittr phenomenon that is sweeping peoples lives, frankly that scares me, however I figure bringing a few of the things about me I do regularly update on the internet into one nice little page would be a good starting point.

    Amongst the things you will find here are Facebook status, Last.fm recently played, and Flickr photos. Hopefully it provides a little more insight into my days/nights.

    The launch last night included me attempting to photo blog Kyle’s birthday extravaganza at Stingaree. So check that out if your interested.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/feed/ 0     Spring Break 98? http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/#comments Sat, 19 Jan 2008 23:43:32 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/ The title of this post was also the cry of our rally last friday night. The evening started out with good enough intentions; celebrations of birthdays and friendships. Somewhere along the way, we were toasting 1998. I believe the facts would have you summing it up to the magic that is The Prospector. Now The Prospector is pretty much the legendary designation in Long Beach. Sure the trendy people will have you believe the Red Room is the place to be, but let me tell you this; the Red Room can never supply nights as legendary as The Prosp’ (as I like to call it). I will fully disclose that part of the magic of The Prosp’ is due to the fact that I have amazing friends, and together we rule the streets of Long Beach and take over The Prosp’ at a moments notice.

    Let’s travel back in time to highlight some finer moments at The Prospector; Kyle and Randall playing “bridge the table” with empty glasses, someone demanding we all do shots of Jager and me pouring mine on the floor (where all Jager belongs), Kyle and Randall throwing silverware at booths, an endless number of ridiculously amazing bands playing in a room that fits about 12 people legally, and hanging out with (insert Celebrity here). Now all this leads you to a theory we have about The Prospector; You can’t not get drunk. It’s pretty amazing really, and we have tested this theory dozens of times, and failed every last effort.

    So last Friday, the 12th of January, was an evening much like any other at The Prosp’. I was constantly trying to convince Brandon that he needed to do “Jager Bahhhms” because they are “Wicked Retahhhded”, but that was really just to honour Craig (And if Craig should somehow find this blog, just know I hate you and your love affair with Tom Brady, at least for this week). The main purpose of this night was Karaoke, that’s latin I believe, and the main purpose of Karaoke is to bring it all, or just don’t bother. Now my regular Karaoke songs include “Wonderwall” and “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” with a few deviations thrown in now and then (Boys II Men on Valentines Day at Big Wangs, anyone?), however I wasn’t gonna disrespect Kyle by performing either of the regulars without the other half of the duo.

    I was feeling risky tonight, so I asked Lindsay for a suggestion, she replied “You know what song I always say is a great Karaoke song, and no one ever agrees with me?”, and I was into it, whatever it was. I told her to write it down, put my name on it, turn it in and I’ll sing it, at some point in time she let me know it would be Garth Brooks stalwart hit “I’ve Got Friends In Low Places”. So the rest of the night in preparation I sang my heart out, you see I have sang “IGFILP” before, circa 2001 at Poway Bowl, after already Karaoking until 1AM at Sliders, and I know that this Garth gem requires some rasp and deepness in a voice you can only accomplish by almost losing your voice completely.

    If you weren’t there, you missed out, we nailed it. People were screaming, old guys were telling me I was everything they ever wanted to grow up to be, Brandon still wouldn’t do a Jager Bomb, a pregnant woman decided to name her unborn child Garth Randall Whateverherlastnameis, and other things someone would probably make up in their blog to impress you, but are in fact my reality. It was simply one of those nights you will always look back on and wish you had 3232989 pictures of, thankfully due to people I know we do have 3232989 pictures, I will spare you though and merely share 2.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/feed/ 2     Mini. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/#comments Fri, 18 Jan 2008 20:08:55 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/ I drive a red Mini Cooper S, it’s a lovely vehicle, apparently it works just as well on 2 wheels as the 4 I usually keep it on.

    Two Wheels

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/feed/ 0     The Fourth. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/#comments Fri, 18 Jan 2008 01:41:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/ So the journalistic sub-genre of sports has been all a buzz this season about the San Diego Chargers Quarterback Philip Rivers. I am a proud supporter of “The Fourth” and of course am a huge Bolts fan, so it wouldn’t be shocking to learn that I sport the powder blue 17 on most Sunday’s. Granted this has led to a bit of a heated debate once or twice between my brother-in-law and I, as he loved Drew Brees (hey who didn’t, some of us have moved on) and thinks (like all the media) Rivers runs his mouth a bit too much.

    Gregg Doyel wrote a fantastic piece about Rivers over at CBS Sportsline which I highly recommend reading. Doyel knows Rivers a bit more than the casual columnist as he covered Rivers college days at NC State.

    Rivers’ honesty refreshing, but many don’t want to hear it

    “This is one of the more fun guys in the NFL. He’s everything we say we want in a professional athlete. He talks to the media and says what’s on his mind. He shows unscripted emotion on the field. He pumps his fist and flaps his gums. He’s a professional football player, and you can tell how much fun he’s having.

    And so we bitch and we gripe. Why? Because Rivers isn’t like everybody else. Never mind that we’ve already bitched and griped about athletes who are boring and talk in clichés and act aloof and seem to be playing for nothing more than a paycheck. Like Eli Manning. Never mind that we resent those guys for making football look like a miserable burden.

    Here comes Philip Rivers, and he has some nerve — he’s nothing like those guys! Who does he think he is?” …

    … “Philip Rivers isn’t like any of them. You know who he’s like? He’s kind of like us.”

    This really couldn’t describe any more perfectly why I root for the guy. After he got drafted by the Chargers I started to hear some of the stories about his intensity and passion for the game, along with the fact that in 4 starting years he was the MVP of 5 bowl games, and you sort of got the feeling that this guy just loves football. When he steps out on the field he is the ultimate competitor and pours every ounce of everything he has into the game. Sure sometimes this backfires and he gets too pumped up and he throws a ball 4 feet over a WR’s head, sure the guy is still young and has a lot left to prove.

    Rivers acts exactly the way I did when I played sports; talking all the way, stirring the rivalry and competition, loving every minute on the field. It’s perhaps why I relate so well to the guy, and why I find it so shocking that other sports fans don’t realise this guy is playing the exact same way they would. The truly refreshing thing about Rivers is that when it’s all over on the field, the switch turns off, and it stays there until the next time he steps out in competition.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/feed/ 0     LAist Interviews Matt Reeves. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/#comments Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:47:11 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/ The LAist recently did an interview with Cloverfield director Matt Reeves. As many of you forget, Matt and JJ Abrams got their start together on Felicity (actually they got their start together on some small public access station, but pointing out they were involved in Felicity is much more fun).

    I found the interview to be an enlightening look into how the viral-ness of Cloverfield snowballed so much that even the people closest to it were caught off guard. It’s amazing to see marketing change so much in front of our eyes that it becomes something that can literally grow past the scope of it’s intentions. Cloverfield’s marketing has done just that, something that could have been simply used to create an interesting backstory, has now created an entire universe that will surely be explored again.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/feed/ 0     AFC Championship Week. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/afc-championship-week/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/afc-championship-week/#comments Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:25:39 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/afc-championship-week/ So the “Excellence in Sports Performance Network” decided that merely beating a team twice in one season still doesn’t mean you are better than them.

    Len Pasquarelli, ESPN

    “Courtesy of San Diego’s upset victory Sunday at the RCA Dome, the world won’t get to see the NFL’s two best teams vying for the right to stretch the AFC’s Super Bowl winning streak to five by whipping an overmatched NFC opponent. And we won’t have an opportunity to see another chapter written in what has grown into an epic rivalry, one in which the two organizations just flat-out don’t like each other.

    The next revisiting of New England vs. Indianapolis will have to wait for another day.”

    It’s really annoying when people try to hold on to statements about one team being better than another (scoreboard, everytime) when the supposedly better team lost once, let alone twice, but to act like the Chargers and Patriots don’t have a far more heated rivalry than the Pats and Colts is just ridiculous.

    Do you remember the team who went into Foxborough and ended the Patriots all-time home winning streak? Do you remember the team who came into the Q last year and upset the Chargers on some 4th quarter magic, then showed their lack of class on the 50? Too recent you say? Do you remember the team who won the AFL championship in 1961 by dismantling the Boston Patriots 51-10?

    There is history, and this should be an absolutely great game to watch.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/afc-championship-week/feed/ 0     Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/#comments Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:06:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/ Judd Apatow likes to make movies we can all relate to.

    I remember not long ago when I was dating the last famous girl I dated (coincidentally also named Kristen Bell), and things just started to feel different. I knew it had to end, and I knew it had to end in a flurry of comedy and consoling (maybe from Mila Kunis, someone like that).

    Of course, I broke up with her, so I guess I can’t really relate much to Judd Apatow’s next movie after all. Oh well, maybe you can…

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/feed/ 1     Internets, Internets, Internets. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/#comments Sun, 13 Jan 2008 19:30:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/ So during the facelift to the blog, I revised some of the behind the scenes stuff to make it easier to find via search engines and the like. Why do I set this post up with that? Because I don’t want you to think I just regularly “google myself” 5 pages deep. So I was looking through the results to see where things wound up, and found a spectacular jewel in all of that mess.

    So somehow I clicked on this, which looked sort of a worthy click from the Google results. Here is where it got interesting; I actually know the last 2 people on that list quite well, though it really doesn’t designate why they show up (or any of the other people). So being as Matt and Brad are pretty interesting people in their outright, I clicked on each ones “Pipl profile” (I’m sort of confused Pipl seems to somehow track people’s instances on the internet, though when you go to it’s main page it just does “Deep Internet Searches”, so I am not sure if you can ever recreate this magical moment for yourself and your friends). I will now share you the highlights that only myself and 4 other people will think is even remotely funny (but hey that is twice as many people as read this website).

    Matt Traxler:

    Traxler was tagged with the loss and is now 0-2 on the season…

    Brad Filip:

    Filip is a Belgian freestyler…

    If you decide to do some playing around over at those links you will find that I am apparently important enough to have people tagged with my name, but not important enough to have a profile that would deliver fictitious one liners about me. One can hope, one can dream.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/feed/ 0     Judd Apatow Is Brilliant. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:26:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/ A few days back I ranted away on the opening of 826LA East.

    Well, recently I discovered a spectacular video Judd Apatow and friends put together to promote this lovely little non-profit. It’s quite hilarious and Jonah Hill delivers a stunning performance to say the least. Enjoy.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/feed/ 0     Oh How This Will Change Your Life. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 16:20:26 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/ This is probably, single handedly, the best thing to ever appear on my website.


    Christopher Walken Mask By Brandon Bird

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/feed/ 0     Things You Can Learn From The Music Business. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 01:29:23 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/ Seth Godin (who never worked in the music industry, until he started a label to prove a point), has decided to share with everyone the few things you can take away from the sinking ship, before it sinks. I wish more people in the music industry realised these things instead of denying the truth.

    His first two points are such utter genius I must reproduce them here:

    Things you can learn from the music business (as it falls apart)

    The first rule is so important, it’s rule 0:

    0. The new thing is never as good as the old thing, at least right now.
    Soon, the new thing will be better than the old thing will be. But if you wait until then, it’s going to be too late. Feel free to wax nostalgic about the old thing, but don’t fool yourself into believing it’s going to be here forever. It won’t.

    1. Past performance is no guarantee of future success.
    Every single industry changes and, eventually, fades. Just because you made money doing something a certain way yesterday, there’s no reason to believe you’ll succeed at it tomorrow.

    Do yourself a favour and read the rest of the article, especially those of you in the music industry.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/feed/ 0     David Lynch Believes He Can Make Rational Points. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/#comments Thu, 10 Jan 2008 23:46:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/ Everyone in the iPhone blogosphere is all a buzz about David Lynch hating on the device and the the idea that you might watch a movie on your phone. I will merely add a few points to the pile of information before I show the absolutely hilarious video of Lynch; in which he does say a few words that one could describe as cursing, I however believe he is using them in an excellent use of emphasis.

    Contrary to the internet this wasn’t something he did to rant about the iPhone, it is off the “Inland Empire” DVD bonus features. So in reality, it’s another person taking something and spinning it to hate on Apple. The man has his point, but true celluloidians feel just as passionate about the difference from projected film to digital home theatre viewing.

    Watching a David Lynch movie on a phone is just as equal an experience to me as watching it in a theatre; no matter what you do, you still won’t understand it.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/feed/ 0     Cloverfield. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/#comments Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:08:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/ So I have been pretty much telling everyone on earth about this 5 minute clip of Cloverfield, JJ Abrams/Matt Reeves feature film about something-we-aren’t-allowed-to-know-what-it-is attacking New York City, and then I realised that I have a blog and should just put it up for viewing pleasure. Cloverfield comes out 1.18.08, and you can bet pretty much anything that I will be there that weekend to catch this one.

    Most of you probably didn’t know I was a JJ Abrams fan, most of you also probably didn’t know that it’s not because of Lost, but because of 6º. 6º had something so appealing about it; real, genuine, honest, those kind of words. I only hope Abrams doesn’t disappoint with Cloverfield (or with ending Lost with my desired ending of no one living and never finding out what is really happening all the weird events on some island I don’t care about).

    For those of you not in the know, Cloverfield has had a spectacular marketing campaign to accompany it (only slightly trailing The Dark Knight’s viral campaign). To catch up on all the clues and latest backstory of Cloverfield check out Cloverfield Clues.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/feed/ 0     826LA East Opening. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/#comments Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:15:16 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/ So a few weeks back Jordan Percy and I attended the opening gala of 826LA East/Echo Park Time Travel Mart in Echo Park. For those of you not familiar with 826, it is a writing/tutoring center that gives free help to students during the day, and hosts some pretty lovely workshops for the young at heart in the evenings. 826 Valencia was the first chapter, opening in San Francisco with the influence of one David Eggers. It has since caused a revolution in greater metropolitan areas and grown to seven chapters supported by 826 National. Things like this are good for our society, you see I was never taught how to write correctly and now all of you have to suffer with my overuse of commas, semi-colons and run on sentences (just kidding, 99.9% of my family are teachers, I just choose to write this way to be “artistic”).

    The Echo Park Time Travel Mart is a fun little shop full of trinkets and empty packages spouting clever words on their packaging. All of the proceeds go to support 826LA and it’s programs, and this clever little store will surely have something worth picking up and making your boring house more interesting. Jordan and I chose “Robot Emotions”, because, well, because, who doesn’t love an emo robot?

    Anyway, the event was absolutely wonderful, in an absolutely amazing space, with absolutely more impressive people than me. I decided to post a couple pictures showing just how amazing this event was (the fireplace in this room literally blows my mind, I mean that literally, like the proper use of it), and if any of you fair persons should be able to locate Jordan and myself in the photos, there will be some sort of prize. Of course with any internet based contest, there are rules. The rules are; people who are named Jordan Percy, Brandon Chamberlain, Lindsay Strannigan, Edward Norton, Judd Apatow, Michael Cera, Jenny Lewis, Spike Jonze and David Eggers are exempt from winning any prizes. Sorry.

    Photos courtesy of Andy Barron:

    Hint #1: Jordan and I are class acts.
    Hint #2: Jordan and I were being stalked by a girl in a red dress, though I’m not sure if that is really pertinent to the photos.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/feed/ 0     Playoffs?!?! http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/#comments Tue, 08 Jan 2008 01:36:09 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/ Yesterday marked my second adventure in San Diego Chargers playoff football. The first experience left me quite disheveled, and had they lost this time around I may have banned myself from attendance. Thankfully, Philip “The Fourth” Rivers lived up to his nickname (so what if Kyle and I failed at our many attempts to have this information stick on his Wikipedia entry, he is “The Fourth”) and led the Chargers to quite a solid 3rd and 4th quarters of football.

    The rain and clouds provided quite the ambiance to add to the ridiculously high energy at “The Q” and I loved every minute of it.

    The fabled Jordan Percy was present for said activities, and even led an expedition up Mount Ikea-Shortcut-To-The-Trolley. Jordan also has pirate facial hair currently, inspired by one Jack Sparrow, you should check it out.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/feed/ 0     Revisionist Theories. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/#comments Sat, 05 Jan 2008 16:02:26 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/ So as some of you noticed a few weeks back, I had some issues with comments after I updated WordPress to version 2.3.1.3.4.5.4.3.2 due to my horribly coded blog. This led me to the dark moment of using random templates, which I tried to at least keep fresh by rotating through the templates every few days, in order to have the more important function over form.

    Well here I am, a few days late, letting you all know my dream of a lovely minimalist blog is now pretty much reality. I stole a ton of code from random people who probably hate me, I got my dreams of minimalism after realising how perfect of a website McSweeney’s is for them, I even added Google AdSense (get excited). I figured a new year is always a good time for a fresh look, though this one will probably stick around for a while.

    Enjoy yourselves, whoever it is that actually reads this thing, I thank you for thinking I am worth directing your browser of choice to my little piece of the Internet.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/feed/ 0     Freemosphere. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/#comments Sat, 05 Jan 2008 00:01:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/ Everyone’s favourite Emo Rap sensation Atmosphere have made available an album of thirteen songs to chase away the winter doldrums. They claim that one, I sort of like winter doldrums so no chasing them away for me. It’s called “Strictly Leakage” and pretty much exactly what you would expect from Sean Loves Ugly Girls and Ant. Download it here.

    They also claim:

    It’s great for first dates, crappy houseparties, or to play in the backround while you google yourself again.

    Im currently googling myself, and can tell you that it really does set quite the mood.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/feed/ 0     The Best Of 2007 List(s). http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/#comments Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:27:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/ Let me start by saying this:

  • There were plenty of amazing albums/songs/books/films/shows this year;
    There were plenty of mindblowing Indie darling albums that are at least 87 million times better than all the albums I list below. Problem is, I didn’t listen to those albums, I listened to these albums. Best of lists are no good for trying to impress people, be honest about what you listened to.
    There were plenty of hit songs that were played on the radio constantly and in all kinds of commercials, my list might have 3.
    There were plenty of books written by one author, actually read all the way through by the reader, and making NY Times lists. I didn’t partake in much of that foolish snobbery, I do things a little different.
    There were plenty of great films that I saw this year, and most of them came out in 2006. Oops. Time for speculation.
    There were plenty of television shows I loved this year. Most of them have been canceled.

    • Here are my addictions of 2007. Some I am speculating I will be, eventually, addicted, or I am addicted to the idea of liking it, or I like something about someone involved, or I almost knocked the author down a few weeks ago. I have really high standards for these sort of things.

    Albums (Completely Consumed Me In A Wall Of Sound):

  • 1. Jimmy Eat World – Chase This Light
    2. Kanye West – Graduation
    3. Say Anything – In Defense Of The Genre
    4. Fall Out Boy – Infinity On High
    5. Maritime – Heresay And The Hotel Choir
    6. The Starting Line – Direction
    7. Cassino – Sounds Of Salvation
    8. Lovedrug – Everything Starts Where It Ends
    9. Spoon – Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
    10. Rocky Votolato – The Bragg & Cuss

    • Songs (That Required Way To Much Use Of Repeat), Amongst Spectacular Albums:

  • 1. Tegan and Sara – Back In Your Head
    2. Silverchair – Straight Lines
    3. Jamie T – Sheila
    4. William Tell – Fairfax
    5. Marie Digby – Umbrella (Note: This is not amongst a “Spectacular Album”, but I listened to it roughly 2.3 million times, so there)
    6. Band Of Horses – Is There A Ghost
    7. Cartel – Lose It
    8. Foo Fighters – The Pretender
    9. Feist – 1 2 3 4
    10. Modest Mouse – Fire It Up

    • Best Album Artwork/Packaging (I’m A Sucker For A Complete Package):

  • 1. Menomena – Friend And Foe
    2. Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank (Deluxe Edition)
    3. Kanye West – Graduation
    4. The Graduate – Ahnedonia
    5. Sigur Ros – Hvarf/Heim (EP) & Heima (DVD)
    6. Fall Out Boy – Infinity On High
    7. Minus The Bear – Planet Of Ice
    8. Interpol – Our Love To Admire
    9. Matt Pond PA – Last Light
    10. Smashing Pumpkins – Zeitgeist (Deluxe Edition)

    • Books (You Can Buy All These Here):

  • 1. Bowl Of Cherries – Milard Kaufman
    2. McSweeney’s 24 – Various
    3. One Hundred And Forty Five Stories In A Small Box – Various
    4. What Is The What – David Eggers (Only On This List Because It’s Eggers)
    5. McSweeney’s 25 – Various

    • Films (Not, Movies):

  • 1. Transformers
    2. 300
    3. National Treasure: Book Of Secrets
    4. The Bourne Ultimatum
    5. The Assassination Of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford
    6. Superbad
    7. 3:10 to Yuma
    8. I Am Legend
    9. Juno
    10. The Darjeeling Limited

    • Television (Trendy People Say It Rots Your Brain, They Also Heard That Hanging Out All Day On The Internet):

  • 1. Dexter
    2. Heroes
    3. How I Met Your Mother
    4. Veronica Mars (RIP)
    5. Traveler (RIP)
    6. Scrubs
    7. Jericho
    8. 6º (RIP)
    9. Entourage
    10. Psych

    • Video Games (Warning: I Am NOT One Of Those Elitist Gamers Who Play Obscure Games And Everything That Comes Out, Sorry My List Is Wrong And Missing All The Good Games):

  • 1 (T). Assassin’s Creed
    1 (T). Halo 3
    3. Rock Band
    4. Guitar Hero 3
    5. Guitar Hero 2

    • Technology Devices (That Made My Life Better):

  • 1. iPhone
    2. Roomba 570

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/feed/ 2     Someone Has Way Too Much Time On Their Hands (And A Functioning XBOX 360). http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/#comments Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:56:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/ I of course, have neither.

    An Even More Elaborate Halo Suicide

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/feed/ 1     So Desparately Obvious, So Obviously Desperate. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-desparately-obvious-so-obviously-desperate/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-desparately-obvious-so-obviously-desperate/#comments Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:58:43 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-obvious-yet-so-disheartening/ The music industry is full of people who are not innovative, not in touch with their target demographic, and don’t understand marketing basics, it’s true, I had a nice little stint in this dying industry. Wired Magazine, recently interviewed one of the Major Label CEO’s, Doug Morris of Universal, and the results are pretty startling, even I was shocked at what this guy admits to.

    Doug Morris, Universal CEO

    “There’s no one in the record industry that’s a technologist,” Morris explains. “That’s a misconception writers make all the time, that the record industry missed this. They didn’t. They just didn’t know what to do. It’s like if you were suddenly asked to operate on your dog to remove his kidney. What would you do?”

    “We didn’t know who to hire,” he says, becoming more agitated. “I wouldn’t be able to recognize a good technology person — anyone with a good bullshit story would have gotten past me.”

    The sad part about this is of course the affect it takes on our beloved music and artists, and how people like this are appointed CEO’s of huge corporations is beyond me. I stand by my patented “R. P. Jenkins Corporate CEO Fix-all”, where you replace all major executives with the top 5 graduates from Harvard Business School, and many other fine educational systems who look forward, and pay them millions a year less to make you millions a year more (while still paying them more than they would make at any other job).

    Note: Ford Motors should also adopt said strategy.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-desparately-obvious-so-obviously-desperate/feed/ 1     The Way People, Meet People. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/#comments Thu, 22 Nov 2007 05:10:17 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/ I was reading a fairly interesting write up on “Internet Crush Du Jour” Kristen Sloan (The Winger, Apple’s iPhone Ad), and my mind started spinning a bit on some things.

    Firstly, what made this girl so captivating? If you are a guy, and a guy who is into Apple, you totally were into her simple look, her being a ballerina, her using Apple. It was a great decision on Apple’s part because she is exactly the kind of girl you hope will randomly appear in your life to help with your addiction to Apple. Her website got a huge rush of traffic to it, which is weird because: why would people go to a “behind the tu-tu” ballet website? My excuse was that I have dated a ballerina or two, so I am allowed to revisit these things as some kind of healing process. Right, right? Anyway, the surprising thing is her website is pretty spectacular; Well designed, unique idea, loyal niche following (Sidenote: I am really into colons/semi-colons today, even if it means using them incorrectly). I feel like a lot of people visiting her site might have been drawn into it because of similar-to-my-own second hand ballet experiences; crushes on ballerinas, dreams of being a ballerina, crushes on the girl in the iPhone commercial who happens to be a ballerina. It’s a very interesting concept in a marketing sense. Could the NYCB could have paid for more exposure? Probably not, and kudos for realising her abilities and rewarding her with her new position.

    The secondary cloud spinning in my head is about the story of her and her boyfriend. I’m sure this story crushed a few people hoping to somehow sweep Miss Sloan off her feet, but it in and of itself says so much about how our world has changed. I had no idea what dodgeball.com was, until this story. It looks interesting, but I am yet to cave into the world of telling everyone where I am at the time I am actually there (I much rather prefer hearing people tell me I was someplace I never was at). The truly interesting thing is the ease that this seemingly “everywoman” has of discussing meeting her boyfriend on, in simpler terms, the invisible world. I know people who have dated people they met online, I know some truly amazing people that I met through the Internet (in varying degrees).

    It really makes you think of how you “meet” people, and people’s hang ups on meeting people in “non-traditional” ways. People still get caught up in admitting their significant other was once just a MySpace message, random IM, or fellow website visitor. I decided to mentally list out how I met the people in my life who make regular appearances (meaning I talk to them on a regular basis, stemming over years) to see where I fit in. The summary is that of 10-12 people who are regularly in my life I; met the one’s I am the closest to in a way not involving technology (unless going to college for graphic design counts), stay more in touch with the ones I can email/IM than those I have to call, only one of them was I ever “buying dinner” (those who know me well, know this is what I call the purgatory between full on dating and being friends) on a regular occasion, I have met people because of music websites and online video games who are now very good friends (such a dork).

    What does all this tell us? That I am apparently not hip to the times. I utilise technology to meet new people and stay in contact with people I already know constantly, and don’t have many reservations about it. However, I still tend to be pretty “traditional” for as much of a tech-dork as I am. In reality, I think this world is changing, while staying the same. For people to have a lasting effect on us we need to see, hear, feel, smell and touch them, not just read them. I know for many the “invisible world” presents interaction in a more convenient way, and perhaps we find it just as convenient to walk away from people we meet that way.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/feed/ 0     Weekend Reminiscing. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/#comments Tue, 20 Nov 2007 23:11:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/ I spent quite a few hours this weekend with my good friend Chad Pearson who was out here visiting from the ATL. Somehow I have a ton of friends in Atlanta, where did that come from? Chad convinced me to buy way too much vinyl, and then was kind enough to let me purchase some hot off the presses P is for Panda gear. Chad and I used to go to Best Buy every Tuesday and spend way too much money on music, somehow I used to be the voice of reason that would talk him out of buying way too much (though I once calculated I spent $600+ one month at Best Buy alone, without major purchases). This time Chad was trying to be my voice of reason, but he failed terribly, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

    It was incredibly amazing to see Chad again and we always spend hours discussing the days of old, and how things used to be. It made me realise that we are both really happy to be where we are right now, no matter what trials come daily and what more is sure to come. I also have come to understand that Bank of America has way cooler ATM’s than WaMu. For those of you not in the know, Chad has a company called P is for Panda that is doing things different.

    It is because of these earlier events that I announce my full fledged support for Vinyl, and eliminate buying cd’s if the vinyl comes with the digital downloads. I don’t know how I was missing out on this for so long, but I was. I’m addicted, and you should join me. Is Vinyl better for the environment or something? Maybe I can go green?

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/feed/ 0     Ricky Williams Loves The… Apple. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/#comments Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:13:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/ ESPN.com is reporting the following about R. Williams:

    ESPN

    “Williams wasn’t on the field for the start of practice Thursday. Instead, he watched from behind a window in the players’ lounge as he ate an apple.”

    Do you really think it’s a good idea to give this guy an apple?

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/feed/ 2     There Are So Many Things Named Paris That I Dislike. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/#comments Tue, 13 Nov 2007 21:29:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/ Quote of her life:

    Paris Hilton

    “The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them.”

    Next up for Miss Hilton is the terrible plight we have allowed to terrorize the Lemmings.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/feed/ 0     The New Rules http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/#comments Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:34:29 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/ I just got my copy of One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box from McSweeney’s today, which is the first of my year long subscription in their book club, a gift from my lovely Mother (thank you Mom). On the sheet of paper that is shrink wrapped to the back of the gorgeous packaging are a bunch of words to tell you about the three hardcover bound collections that await inside, on the back of that sheet is the following:

    Sheet of paper that is shrink wrapped to One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box

    I dont know why it came down to me to tell you about this, but anyway, here goes: if you don’t buy at least ten books a year, you’ll be struck by lightning, or maybe a bus. It’s the new rule. Yeah. You’ll probably be sent a more official notice in the mail pretty soon, but for now, you’re hearing it from me. Ten books a year, or the bus or lightning, each of them very painful and likely deadly. Is the rule a bit harsh? Well, maybe. Some people might think so, but then again, those people won’t be with us very long, because anyone who complains about the rule will be disemboweled by bears. Again, not my idea–I’m just the messenger here!–but that’s the way it is. I don’t know why you’re worried though. Just buy the ten books a year, and don’t whine about it, and you won’t be struck by anything or have your insides ripped out by a grizzly. Doesn’t seem so complicated, really. Also, make sure you buy the right kinds of books, or else someone in a cardigan will push you off a building. Again, nothing to worry about: just buy the best kinds of books, not the bad ones, or else you’ll be looking over your shoulder pretty much forever. And you can’t read that way, anyway, so it all works out.
    –DE

    David Eggers is one of my all time favourite human beings on this planet, and that ladies and gentlemen, is one small slice of why.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/feed/ 0     Random Recommendations 9.20.07 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/#comments Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:09:56 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/ So I thought it would be fun to start throwing out random things I am currently supporting, and see how it makes the rest of the world feel.

    Everything Bagels – I’ve been going back to an old friend here, and it’s making every day start out right.
    Kanye West – Love everything this guy does, I think I once said I would vote for him for President. Well “Stronger” makes the fist clench, but “Homecoming” is my favourite off “Graduation”.
    The Dresden – As in, The Dresden, from “Swingers”. We shall be there tonight actually, bring a suit.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/feed/ 0     Random Recommendations 8.28.07 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/#comments Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:28:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/ If you are into music and read my little piece of the internet, you should already be listening to the following;
    Earlimart
    Cartel
    The Honorary Title
    The Starting Line
    All their newest releases from the past month or so. They are all fantastic. You like how I sprinkled some Indie into the pop that is my life?

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/feed/ 0     Holidizzle Paradizznatch http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/#comments Sat, 04 Aug 2007 06:33:11 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/ This week I got the message loud and clear that the Metropolitan area of Atlanta loves me and has some quality people in it’s environs. Thank you those who called, thank you those who drove in a van to play shows. If you are from Atlanta and missed out on “The ATL loves Randall” week, there are 2 days left… so make it count.

    Wednesday I made my way to the Roxy in Hollywoodville to see Holiday Parade play their first LA show ever. Kate Beckensale and her family were even out to see the band. Underworld 3 soundtrack? Maybe. The show was great, and being able to finally spend some time with these guys was even better. I cannot stress enough what amazing people these guys are, talented musicians and class acts through and through. If you are able, catch their path around the States that we call a tour, Scotty their merch guy will honestly make your life 500 times better on his own. I took the following picture on Wednesday, I do things like this on occasion.

    Andy Albert of HP

    The real entertainment came after the show when we headed over to the after party for The Format’s show. Brandon Chamberlain was aces as usual, and I told Chavez I expect to see him out at the next march. I gave these two scholars a ride back to Long Beach because Brandon lost his car… and Lindsay… who was in his car… passed out… and no one could find her… or the car… sorry Linny.

    Thursday was back at it again with the HP guys, this time in Santa Ana. The venue seemed newer (read: it was interesting) but the kids there sure do support the bands, good to see. We got in some great conversation at various times in the evening, and _____ (name witheld to protect further damage to his ability to pull) definitely stole the show with his stories of romance. His absolute finest moment came when he told us a story about how he had an “encounter” with a young lady who later went on to tell her sorority sisters that he wasn’t good in bed. What did _____ do to rebuke such claims? Tell the sisters that he just couldn’t get it up, of course.

    I will basically miss anyone who currently resides in Georgia for the rest of the weekend. Thank you all.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/feed/ 0     Coming Soon To A Gaming Platform Near You (But Probably In A Windows 95 Version) http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/#comments Tue, 17 Jul 2007 00:28:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/ The absolute front runner for the “things that made me fall out of my chair in pure hilarity” award today has to be the story about a video game developed by some Iranian guys called “Rescue The Nuke Scientist”. Yes, this is real. Apparently this is the first Iranian made Nuclear Energy video game.

    AP

    An Iranian hard-line student group unveiled a new video game Monday that simulates an attempt to rescue two Iranian nuclear experts kidnapped by the U.S. military and held in Iraq and Israel.

    The “Rescue the Nuke Scientist” video game, designed by the Union of Students Islamic Association, was described by its creators as a response to a U.S.-based company’s “Oregon Trail” game, which depicts an American attack on an Iranian nuclear facility. (Okay, I edited that… it’s really in response to “Assault on Iran”, but I envision this Iranian game being a lot like “Oregon Trail”.)

    “This is our defense against the enemy’s cultural onslaught,” Mohammad Taqi Fakhrian, a leader of the student group, told reporters Monday.

    If you are worried you can’t get your hands on a copy, have no fear…

    AP

    Fakhrian said his group was trying to market the video game first in Iran and other Muslim countries. But the group also has plans to bring the game, which comes on a CD for computers, to Western countries, he said.

    … I honestly kind of expected a floppy disk release.

    If you wonder what kind of people create such things…

    AP

    The game comes from the same student group that was behind the infamous “World Without Zionism” conference in 2005 where President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called for Israel to be “wiped off the map.”

    … remember how crazy that guy sounds when he opens his mouth, speaks Iranian, then someone translates him? Okay, I have to admit that pull quote is rather boring, I just wanted to bring up President Mahmoud “Crazy” Ahmadinejad. I miss the guy, what’s he been up to lately?

    Since that pull quote sucked, this one will be twice as good…

    AP

    Ali Reza Masaeli, leader of the group that designed the new game, said it took three years for his technical team to produce it. The team was based in Isfahan, a city in central Iran that houses a nuclear site.

    … three years? For a video game? …

    AP

    “It is an entirely Iranian product in response to the U.S. cyber war against Iran,” Masaeli said.

    … well, looks like there is at least one war we are winning hands down, the “cyber war against Iran”. If it takes them three years to make a video game, are we really that worried about Nuclear Weapons?

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/feed/ 0     iPod Emergencies. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/#comments Fri, 22 Jun 2007 17:56:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/ So last evening my roommate Kyle, whom some of you out there in blogopolis already know, and I decided to make a trip down to South Coast Plaza. As we were walking out the door, I realised I still had my iPod, in it’s lovely G-Star carrying case, attached to me. I decided to go with it, but shortly after Kyle noticed it as well and found it to be unnecessary considering he was driving and his iPod was in his car. He asked, “Why are you taking your iPod?” I of course had already planned for this exact scenario, “It’s my accessory” and when that didn’t convince him I simply asked “What if there is an iPod emergency?” Kyle responded, “An iPod emergency? Umm, Okay.”

    So after shopping we were driving home and began discussing playing Dashboard Confessional for various reasons I cannot confirm nor deny. I agreed with the selection as long as it was “Vindicated”, and Kyle stated that if that was off the new album he didn’t have it. When I informed him it was off the Spiderman 2 Soundtrack, he affirmed he didn’t have that either. Of course, not one to miss a perfectly set up moment I yelled out “iPod Emergency”, and with a few rips of velcro we had “Vindicated” flowing through the speakers. Now how that lead into “Screaming Infidelities” being sung at the top of our lungs, well that I just really can’t put my finger on.

    The moral of this story is either “One iPod is never enough” or “Don’t mess with Access-ories”.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/feed/ 1     Tips for Lip Biters. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/#comments Wed, 13 Jun 2007 08:26:39 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/ So you might all remember a few posts back I tipped my hand about one of my (read: every male on this planet) weaknesses, the lip bite. Well tonight as I was looking at the random and strange ways people get to this little piece of the internets I call my own, I stumbled across some gems. I bring them to you tonight because we can all stand a little more education.

    The original search that directs people to me can be found here.

    1) You all know my infatuation with Britons, and apparantley the UK translation of Cosmo (In Queens English, I assume) has some amazing message board topics. Don’t believe me? Here are my favourite pull quotes:

    Svetlana

    “Bite your lower lip slowly as if your trying to eat up some of the lip gloss off your lip. It drive them nuts!- Just don’t make it so obvious.”

    Of course we start with a lip bite discussion, that is why we are here after all. I will add to all the hopeful rosebuds out there that “Svetlana” is benefitting highly from being named “Svetlana” and also from her accent (or maybe I created that in my head when I read “It drive them nuts!), how Russian.
    Don’t worry we have more accents for you…

    TrAr

    “A bit of cheekiness is always good. A big smile with a tongue in cheek “so are you going to buy me a drink then?” always works a treat.”

    I just love the Brits, they talk such a treat, but watch out guys girls with accents are…

    Weeyin87

    “Keep your shoulders straight and look confident, these wee subtle tips make u look more attractive. I fancied a guy for 4 years who was too old for me. I tried these things and he was mine!!! Dumped him the next week right enough but it was cool to finally get him.”

    Heartbreakers.

    2) Visualisation has always been one of those things that works better in those 80′s/90′s “teen-angst” films, you know where the guy/girl is at home before the moment they are gonna have their shot at the girl/guy who didn’t know they existed until 15 seconds ago? Be The Hot Chick is your key to visualisation, but be careful, your kid brother could walk in with the video camera right when you are practicing making out in the mirror. Oh, the naive:

    Be The Hot Chick

    “The really embarrassing scenario is when a girl acts too into him with “ooh, baby” eye contact or over-the-top hair-flipping and giggle “signals.” Other times, a girl will swing the other way because she’s secretly shy. So she’ll go for the hard-to-get aloof routine, basically behaving as if she hates the guy. These are amateur maneuvers, not snag-him strategies.”

    Let me tell you how embarrassing it is when a girl actually shows interest and gives you signals, it’s an absolute breath of fresh air. Imagine actually letting a guy know you are into him as opposed to the “your friends, telling his friends at the ice skating rink, to tell him the next day, which is by coincidence a day after the last time you ever see him,” but maybe I’m still a little scarred by my experiences. Do not listen to these silly words about acting too into him, unless we’re not that into you, but you should have caught on by then. Am I the only one that read “swing the other way” and thought the mystery of “why girls think making out with other girls to get attention is a good idea” was finally going to be explained? Girls, remember you want to optimise your “snag-him strategy” so you can break up with him in a week.

    Be The Hot Chick

    “By boy-world definitions, when you’re nervous, no guy can really tell. Guys don’t know what shy looks like. They just remember whether or not you were nice or sweet or whatever. So, just fake it ’til you get past those first few edgy minutes, because you will get a grip. Try this: Gently bite the corner of your lower lip. It smarts enough to help you remember to breathe (which helps you to think, which helps you to relax), but is still quite cute and flirty.”

    First of all guys can tell, and we like it when a girl is nervous, blushing is hot. Guys most often remember “whether or not you were whatever” is pretty much the most accurate statement about male and female interaction ever written. I just learned that biting the lip not only makes girls cute and flirty, it also makes them smarter, or whatever.

    Be The Hot Chick

    “But a better option is to up your confidence. How? Resolve not to think about your body but to think instead about what’s in front of you–a store, a pool, the sun, your BFF, skater boy.”

    Confidence is a huge plus, just make sure yr BFF and skater boy are separately right in front of you. Nothing kills the confidence like your BFF getting the skater boy, and that would not be “Being The Hot Chick”, now would it?

    Be The Hot Chick

    “Then, the obvious trick is to find the boy you think is skilled (read: hot), and ask him if he will help you improve your swing, catch the perfect wave or do a mean header. He’ll be into showing you what he’s about. Betcha.”

    That’s the jewel of advise Lisa Mulcahy has for our youth? The same Lisa Mulcahy that started this very article off with…

    Be The Hot Chick

    “If you want to get noticed without looking like an extra on the The O.C., you’re on the right page. Summer means your playing field is large, and there are more available guys. Your choices increase, so your chances of getting it right increase. And getting a sweet, smart, into-you boy to notice you does not translate to dressing skimpy or faking like you’re into stuff just to impress.”

    Yeah, that or, act like your into something he’s into and you need his help at because he’s “hot”. Now I challenge you to , “Be The Hot Chick”.

    I hope you all had as much fun as I did with that all, it’s an honour to be found in the same “AOL Search, powered by Google” as those hits.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/feed/ 0     Silverlake Is A Bloggers Goldmine. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/celebrities-in-silverlake/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/celebrities-in-silverlake/#comments Tue, 12 Jun 2007 06:02:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/12/celebrities-in-silverlake/ I just got back from Spaceland in Silverlake, where Juliette (Lewis) & The Licks played their first LA show in quite a few years. It was a celebrity bloggers paradise, but since none of them could get on the list, I’ll have to do my best impression (and put witty things in paranthesis).

    In attendance were:
    Michael Rapaport (It’s like a roller coaster with this guy, on one hand you have “True Romance” on the other, “Hitch”.)
    Jonathan Silverman (I think I’m the only person who enjoyed “The Single Guy”.)
    Ben Stein (…and his money.)
    Quentin Tarantinos Ex-Girlfriend (I really have no idea if this is true.)
    David Duchovney (…drinks Stella Artois.)
    Woody Harrelson (THE Woody Harrelson.)
    Pink and Carey Hart (Drank wine, and were a lot more boring than I hoped for slash had heard.)
    Benicio Del Toro (He looks a lot different these days.)
    Dave Grohl (…well, he was on the list.)
    One of the Hobbits (I was unimpressed, I actually thought they were midgets.)
    The other guy from We Were Soldiers (…not Mel Gibson.)
    Gabriel Byrne (Looks like a drunk.)
    Ethan Suplee (This guy has a pretty impressive IMDB, but I’ve yet to get into “My Name Is Earl”.)
    Two guys who might be from Good Charlotte, but looked like they could be from any band like that. (Mmhkk.)

    Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer was not present, so that meant no high speed rolls out of the Mini Cooper tonight. Kiefer did also once tell Rory Felton he was a “born leader”. In related news J.D. Salinger once said I was “a Scholar and a Gentleman” after I held the door open for him.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/celebrities-in-silverlake/feed/ 0     Quentin always gets the shot. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/#comments Sat, 09 Jun 2007 21:17:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/ Last week, everyones favourite writer/director Quentin Tarantino made some comments about Italian cinema from the Cannes Film Festival. Quentin’s usually pretty reserved about the state of cinema, and he’s almost never involved in anything controversial so this came quite off the cuff to many (read: Quentin is always controversial, and usually right). Tarantino has been heavily influenced over his career by the olde Cinema de Italia (that’s right I used the Queen’s English and Italian in a mere 4 words) genres of Spaghetti Westerns and Horror. Here are his thoughts on the current state…

    Quentin Tarantino

    “New Italian cinema is just depressing. Recent films I’ve seen are all the same. They talk about boys growing up, or girls growing up, or couples having a crisis, or vacations of the mentally impaired.”

    I love Quentin, and if I had the time in my life to watch movies about people growing up and having a crisis about being mentally impaired on vacation, I’d agree with him. People in Italy who make movies about people growing up and having a crisis about being mentally impaired on vacation however, don’t seem to agree with him. Sophia Loren had the following to say….

    Sophia Loren

    “How dare he, how dare he talk about Italian cinema when he doesn’t know anything about American cinema.”

    The really important part I took away from all of this is… Sophia Loren is still alive?

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/feed/ 0     Michael Bay Is The Working Man’s Director. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/#comments Mon, 04 Jun 2007 04:21:48 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/ Some people out there think Michael Bay makes bad movies, those same people also support the work of some of the most self-righteous egotistical persons I’ve ever met. I think my point has been made. Michael Bay isn’t about the whole “Hollywood” mentality, or the “I’m an artist” attitudes. Michael Bay is real, makes movies real people can enjoy, and destroys a lot of things in the process. Now Michael Bay is bringing us closer to the elite world of the Hollywood high life.

    Everyone knows I’m a huge fan of Bay, I think he does action the way it should be done. He isn’t artsy enough for most people it seems, but he knows cinema. I really liken him a lot to Quentin; both make films their own way, are very successful in what they do, love making things over the top beyond reality, and are met with sharp criticism about almost every film they make. If he’s good enough for Tarantino, he should be good enough for all you pseudo-artistic types.

    Michael Bay

    “Quentin Tarantino called me once. Someone had written ‘Is Michael Bay the Devil?’ Quentin said, ‘Don’t worry, last year they called me the Antichrist.’”

    I have a point, stick with me. Bay is doing something which I find to be spectacular, premiering Transformers on four screens in Westwood at the LA Film Festival. Now some might think, “yeah you need four screens for all those blockbuster hollywood types,” but you would be wrong. Transformers will be premiering on four screens so we can all have a chance to be a part of the premiere and the after party. Tickets go on sale for the Transformers premiere next weekend, and package tickets for the LA Film Festival (which include the premiere) are already on sale. See you there.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/feed/ 0     Q: Who are you guys shooting for? http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/#comments Wed, 30 May 2007 06:48:01 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/ A: The Times. All of them.

    Ice Cube’s new film “First Sunday” is shooting on my street. Incidentally, according to IMDB, I moved to Baltimore, MD. Baltimore is a gorgeous city on the shore of the Pacific… oh wait, that’s Long Beach. Anyway, Ice Cube rolled into town and is making some comedy about a crime inside a Church. Unfortunately, this isn’t gonna come close to the greatest “crimedy” (get it, a crime and comedy?) inside a Church ever, Sister Act. Honestly, what could? Fortunately this crimedy takes place on a corner that has a Church and a Liquor Store, which should bring a whole new dimension to the Church crimedy genre we all have come to love.

    Kyle and I jumped a few barricades to bring you all some images of the set:
    First Sunday Wide Shot
    First Sunday Softbox
    First Sunday Believe
    First Sunday Linden and 3rd

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/feed/ 0     The President does better stand up than Dane Cook. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/#comments Wed, 23 May 2007 16:40:06 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/ As we close in on the birthday of the finest Presidential orator ever, another Presidential “orator” makes it so obvious how much times are changing. “W” is in tune with the blogosphere…

    George W. Bush

    “Information is moving — you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it’s also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets.”

    Read the rest of the transcript.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/feed/ 0     Not My Governor? http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/#comments Wed, 23 May 2007 06:06:29 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/ This weekend when I was over at Hollywood Park my Father made a comment about our Governor. I believe his words did not include “terrible” or “worthless”, and I don’t have the exact quote but I believe he said “terrific” at some point. My Grandmother and I just looked at each other in disbelief. My Father then proceeded to say what great things Arnold has done for the State of California. I agreed with him immediately, and relayed the following 2 year old story (I propose we bring it up every May until he’s out of politics).

    On May 27, 2005, Arnold traveled to San Jose, California. To catch those of you up who weren’t dating a girl from San Jose at the time, San Jose has huge transportation issues, most notably traffic and potholes. Arnold arrived to a quaint neighborhood that was full of interesting people that you will soon get to hear from. So Arnold is here, he brought an entire set with him. There are Key Grips, Best Boy Grips and Personal Assistant’s Everywhere. There is lighting (yes, lighting in the middle of the day) to ensure a soft glow off our Action Hero of a Governor.

    They cued up The Doobie Brothers “Taking It To The Streets”, and Arnold swaggered towards your television with 10 of San Jose’s finest road workers flanking him. 10 workers in brand new Day-Glo vests (it’s still the middle of the day, still in a small neighborhood) and work gear to back up the Governor. After some speeches people couldn’t understand (by the Governor) and some by people you could understand (San Jose City officials) a truck full of black, smoking, asphalt backed up and unloaded for the Governor to fill the 10 by 15 foot hole.

    Now you might be upset that it took 10 road workers to assist in filling a pothole when there are plenty of other road work needs in the city, I might agree if I didn’t understand how important it is for the Governor to look intimidating. The residents however, aren’t as understanding.

    Nick Porrovecchio

    “They just dug it out,” Nick Porrovecchio, 48, said, shrugging. “There was a crack. But they dug out the whole road this morning.”
    “It’s a lot of money spent on a staged event,” said Matt Vujevich, 74, a retiree whose home faced the crew-made trench that straddled nearly the whole street. “We still have the same problems. Everything’s a press conference.”

    Now that seems a bit ridiculous doesn’t it? Maybe those 10 road workers were just too good at their jobs, that’s why they had nothing else to do right? They must have taken care of all the cities potholes a day too early, right? Right??

    Joe Greco

    Joe Greco (no relation to Richard Greco), who used his video camera to record the crews ripping up his street, said Laguna Seca Way had “a few cracks,” which he termed “unsightly,” but they weren’t as bad as the “major potholes” a few blocks away.
    “The street was very drivable,” Vujevich said.

    So your probably figuring what I figured when I first heard this story, Arnold just got some bad intel, no one told him there were real potholes already needing repair so close by. Surely our Governor wouldn’t waste tax payers monies on purpose when he could have so easily saved a few bucks by fixing real potholes?

    Rob Stutzman

    Rob Stutzman, the Governor’s communications director, told reporters that “the staging of an event like this is paid for out of the Governor’s California Recovery Team account,” which pays for many of the governor’s political activities, “so there’s no taxpayer expense.”

    So what, so he staged it? It needed to be staged, those other streets have terrible afternoon sun. No taxpayer had to pay for it, it’s fine.

    David Vossbrink

    But David Vossbrink, director of communications for San Jose Mayor Ron Gonzales, who was in Washington, D.C., Thursday lobbying for more federal funding for BART, said the city paid the road crew and the extra security costs associated with the governor’s visit — as it would for any visiting dignitary.

    So there’s no taxpayer expense ASIDE from the road crew that was being paid to not fix the real potholes, dig fake potholes and be back up dancers for the Governor’s performance. Well, at the very least a pothole got filled.

    David Vossbrink

    Vossbrink said, the Governor’s event involved “not exactly filling a pothole, but it represented the pothole aspect”

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/feed/ 3     I was happy with not knowing. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/#comments Mon, 21 May 2007 07:40:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/ Kyle has just informed me…
    Scrubs
    … Scrubs is back for Season 7.

    For the record, they are just gonna do the same thing they always do; 1) build up a whole happy show and have it flip into this emo twist right at the end, 2) build up a whole emo show and have it flip into this happy twist at the end. Since we got 1 this year, maybe we get 2 next?

    And here is what Zach Braff had to say about Season 7…

    Zach Braff

    …what is the deal with all these myspace spammers lately. You’d think after Tom sold the company for 100 zillion dollars he’d spend a few bucks of it on trying to figure out how to stop that. Everytime I check my page there’s something like, “I love this fucking ringtone so much I wanna have sex with it all night long. I wanna impregnate this fucking ring tone. I wanna knock up this ring tone and marry it in Vegas, then have the wedding annulled the next day. That’s how fucking excited I am about this ringtone.

    I must get 1000 comments a day telling me that “size matters”. Before I realized it was spam I kept looking at the picture of the person who wrote that being like, “wow. Not what I imagined coming from that person’s mouth, but ok. Size is very important to him. But alas, I should not give them any more attention as that is what they seek. If you’re one of the people who’s clicking on there to get iphones or penis enlargement pills you’re REALLY screwing it up for everybody else. I figure if the guy sells 2 bottles of penis pills a day, he can easily afford to lay back at his crib and marvel at how grand his own penis is. “No placebo’s for me. I was born like this. I’ve also been blessed with the very first iphone and I’m currently banging one of the hotter ringtones in Santa Fe.

    By the by: please don’t send me anything HTML; especially in the comments section. Don’t get me wrong, I love an animated unicorn waving “Thanks For the Add” as much as the next guy, but I disabled those things because they make your page all wonky. And no one likes a wonky page.

    And while your at it, get a Virb (Ed: I may or may not have added this myself).

    … oh wait, that was him explaining why he hates MySpace wasn’t it?

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/feed/ 0     This Is What Living Like This Does. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/#comments Sun, 20 May 2007 02:56:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/ Jordan Percy decided to grace the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area with his presence last evening. We decided on t-shirts and suit jackets, already had reservations for 4 (where was our 4th the whole night anyway?) at Rambutan, had finally convinced Kyle that this Target listed in LA nightlife on multiple internet locations, is this Target and headed out for an Executive Committee reunion of sorts.

    Dinner was aces, per the standard at the Ram’, and the drinks were the thing of legend (I rec’ the Mango Mojito, though I’m always a sucker for the Rambutan Cosmo, slash anything with Soju in it). For the rest of the evening we decided to help the social resurgence of Downtown LA by visiting a few local watering holes. The Edison was dead, and there were no good leads for the Times so we pressed on to The Redwood.

    The Redwood is one of the finer nautical bars in existence, complete with Quill and Ink sketches of ships and other lovely works of art. Once we headed to the stern we found the dance floor, complete with a DJ dropping hits everywhere (He had a few slips, but with most the wanna-be hipster DJ’s in this town refusing to drop some JT in his mix, I find the gesture unique and different).

    B-list celebrities surrounded us on the dance floor, however these were a slightly different crowd than the usuals; Lil Jon, Kwame Brown and a few of the leaders of some rival b-boy crews. I have to admit I’d take this group on the dance floor over the Bang crowd on most days.

    On our exit, we decided to go Bridge and Tunnel-ing through the city. Perhaps you weren’t aware of all the tunnels and bridges around Los Angeles, but while you are planning your own route, be sure to check out Angel’s Flight. Our soundtrack for the B&T-ing was the ever appropriate TBS, who reminds us of what fine young knives we all are.

    Taking Back Sunday

    Literate and stylish
    Kissable and quiet
    Well that’s what girls dreams are made of

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/feed/ 0     The Downtown Experience. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/#comments Thu, 17 May 2007 21:08:03 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/ If you have ever wondered what it’s like where I work, this picture pretty much sums it all up…
    Downtown LA
    … that’s just a block over from my building. Optimus stops by the neighborhood at least once a week to eat at this killer Chinese place called New Moon just across from my building.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/feed/ 0     I’m Voting For AC. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/#comments Wed, 16 May 2007 18:55:10 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/ Albert Clifford Slater was simply legendary; from his star rise on “The Bell,” to his showing up at my HS’s prom, and don’t you dare say “SBTB, The College Years” or “Dancing With The Stars” can tarnish his status. If anything, it makes this all the more fabulous. SBTB was an absolute crutch to my childhood existence making long afternoons of homework seem so much shorter, and I couldn’t have survived sans TPIR which made being sick on the couch something to look forward to, so it only makes sense to combine them into a one hour block of entertainment I will enjoy for the rest of my life. I do however want the show to undergo a slight name adjustment, “Saved By The Right Price” would really make my life complete.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I pledge my support to Mario Lopez.

    Edit: Kyle is a part of the campaign, and has made a lovely little poster. I hear he might even create a theme song mash-up (read: go over to his blog and demand he make a theme song mash-up).

    A.C. Slater for T.P.I.R.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/feed/ 0     Urban Hiking http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/13/urban-hiking/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/13/urban-hiking/#comments Sun, 13 May 2007 19:16:36 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=16 So not many of you know about the elite sport of urban hiking. Last night (with no Sherpa to guide us mind you) Kyle, Danielle and myself conquered Mt. Biscuit Co. Lofts. It was a hard climb, but the infamous V2 vodka found on its first peak (read: balcony 1 of 4) made it a bit easier. The string ensemble also helped our ascent, and let me tell you was there some interesting art on the climb up. The view from the top is one of the more stunning looks of Los Angeles you will ever get.

    After the long journey, some interesting appetizer’s and a run of the land we headed off to revive our singing careers. If you have never been to Dimple’s, you are cheating yourself out of a good time, and potential fame. I’ve heard this place was where Record Industry A&R signed pop stars before American Idol existed. They even snap pictures and film you.

    Edit: Kyle has a longer description of the evening, with less metaphors and more promise of our DVD and allusions to internet infamy (that’s right, Dimple’s has a live feed every night) on his blog.

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    ]]>     http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/13/urban-hiking/feed/ 0     Don’t ever steal a parrot in New York. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/30/dont-ever-steal-a-parrot-in-new-york/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/30/dont-ever-steal-a-parrot-in-new-york/#comments Mon, 30 Apr 2007 18:07:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/blog/?p=11