I know this will not be received well by many.

I’m not trying to say the guy isn’t a talented musician or songwriter, he surely is, and he surely captured a generation with his political stance and his unique mindset, but how did he wind up that way for multiple generations? To me, Dylan is the guy who wrote 4 songs that have a lasting power, the guy whose son wrote an entire album I like better than any of his fathers, the guy who has made continued his career by being the guy the “cool” people like “because he’s Dylan”.

How is this guys career so much more notable than a guy like Tom Petty or James Taylor?

Now let’s clear up a couple of facts here, it’s well known that I like “hits”. I don’t mean Top 40 songs necessarily, I mean songs with an epic hook, songs that as you walk down the street you curse having them stuck in your head (but give it another spin the second you can), HITS. Secondly, I was born in the seventies, raised in the eighties, and am living in the zeroes, Dylan hasn’t had a hit since I’ve been alive.

So why is Dylan so revered? Elvis has the same sort of fanatics, different in lots of ways, but still same kind of experience. Elvis sold records, had hit songs, was in films and was one of the first real celebrities of modern times. So Dylan is the anti-Elvis maybe? Out of the lime-light, political and all about the music and the art? Eh, I don’t think so, it might be his angle, and maybe part of why he appeals to people, but I don’t buy it, he needs to do something, not just not do something. It seems lately he does more of the not doing something, while still just writing/recording away.

Dylan was truly relevent when he wrote “The Times They Are a-Changin’” and it captured an entire aspect of the population who found a voice and mouth for all the things running through their head, but four decades later is he still? I recently “tweeted” in reply about Dylan, that Valens had 4 truly great songs on one record in an 8 month career, doing so not to compare the two, but to bring up this nugget: Is Dylan renowned because he’s simply alive and still cranking out records?

People love to play the card that Dylan isn’t Top 40, or that Top 40 hits don’t make a song or an artist “great”, and it’s all true. We all have those artists who will make 10 albums and never get radio play. I happen to love Sigur Ros and surely they will never be Top 40, but I’ll buy every record ever. Maybe that’s the key to it all, and that Dylan just clicks with some people and doesn’t with me. Maybe, but I have this vague feeling that to many, especially in my generation, liking Dylan is a lot like reading Kerouac; It’s a statement move towards the non-today, the counter culture, aimed at being a part of a generation you missed or trying to stand apart from your current one. Such as with any counter culture movement, it winds up as trendy and actually the majority, and perhaps that’s what I see today.

The truly interesting part of what I mention above is that Dylan wasn’t non-Top 40, he actually formed his career off hit songs, and at various points decided he didn’t want his records promoted certain ways or proper singles released by his label amongst other things, but his career was not consistently that. It was kind of a lot like Radiohead’s “release the music straight to the fans” move, where a band that already built up to a very successful level goes about a shift to be more “artistic”, strictly about the music, and through all of it bucking the system/process that created them. Dylan after being a mainstay “rock” act who was revered for his political and social commentary which brought him to a certain level, went country and stopped talking politics, and then even went Christian (and I have theories about all the hipster Christians I know who love Dylan too, don’t get me started).

I don’t understand how this guy managed to keep such a stable fan base through all of those changes, through very few (if any) recent songs a majority of the population can even name, to put out an album, that in the year 2009, charts at number one.

The only thing I can even come close to an explanation with is that Dylan is still there doing it. Elvis is dead, The Beatles broke up, Zeppelin disbanded, Michael Jackson went pedo, Garth Brooks retired, every other voice of a generation and/or successful career artist has either died or become too controversial or alienated themselves some other way. Dylan got less controversial, stayed alive, and over time had more and more people spreading the Dylan gospel, giving them no reason to dislike them and it being “counter”, then “different”, then “forgotten”, and at many times throughout those popular to like him. It really is quite a remarkable and impressive career.

All that to say, I’m still just waiting for someone to explain what makes Dylan so great. I’m ready for it to hit me, I’m ready to be wowed, I’m willing to listen to a record or three (but no more) with open ears and have my life changed… because after all… so many of you have been telling me, for years, that is who this man is.

P.S. I realise someone is going to tell me that just the fact he has been able to affect so many people over such a long period of time is the simple answer to the question I ask in this title, but that still doesn’t make me want to listen to him… go deeper.

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Apple. Think Different Campaign. (Apple/TBWA Chiat Day)

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

I know I need to stop and remember these words more often, and keep pursuing my life as a person “uncomfortable with the status quo”*. To all those people in my life who fit into everything described above, thank you.

*This statement is one of those things like, 3 people will get. Sorry, but they will probably laugh pretty hard, and I can’t rob them of that just so that this would make more sense to you.

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THE 20.5:

1. I get Deja Vu… a lot. Usually about feeling like I’m getting Deja Vu. (If you follow me on Twitter, you now have Deja Vu!)
2. The best Death Cab For Cutie album is “The Photo Album” end of discussion, this fact also known as “Lindsay lies”.
3. My first concert ever was The Beach Boys, 4th of July, 1984, National Mall, District of Columbia.
4. The only computer I have ever had in my home (from a child on) has been made by Apple.
5. I recently hung up artwork on the walls of my place after living here 4 years.
6. I have had this strange quest to be “mysterious” for years (less is more, right?), the best response was from the girl I was dating (at the onset of said quest) which was… laughter.
7. My wallet is bigger than yours.
8. Some people have magazine subscriptions, I have a Quarterly subscription, a DVD subscription, and a book clup subscription. I heart MCSWNYS.
9. I have a long standing addiction to WB/CW shows I should have no part loving. It started with “The Creek”, and has included “Smallville”, “Veronica Mars”, and “Gossip Girl”.
10. There isn’t much that is better than a fresh loaf of Boudin’s sourdough bread.
11. I played Lacrosse and Ice Hockey in High School, in San Diego, CA. I was a New Englander at heart I guess.
12. Speaking of New England: I have always had a fascination with JFK, I love the Red Sox, I hate the Patriots, I love Boston.
13. I unabashedly love pop music, of all types, that other people try to pretend isn’t pure hits.
14. As a kid (11-15ish), I couldn’t fall asleep to anything but the radio. Not a CD even. I had to hear a talking voice at some point or else my mind would spin into a labyrinth of thoughts on life and death.
15. I firmly believe I could save entire companies if they would just consult me on everything they do.
16. I tend to get infatuated with girls from far away cities, okay infatuated might be putting it lightly.
17. I’m horrible at filing, but quite organised.
18. I should mention, I use the Queen’s English whenever possible.
19. Almost all of my family teach, at one point I was going to fall in line as well, but wound up a designer. Lately I have the desire to be the jaded professor at Art School who: tells everyone their projects are horrible, everyone hates but realises years later was vital to their succes (i.e. Winter Sorbeck).
20. I’m great at buying old cameras, I’m horrible at buying new film.
20 1/2. I hate committing to making plans, except… (How else am I supposed to make a half fact?)

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I enjoyed a lovely holiday back “home” (Long Beach is home to me, but San Diego gets jealous when I say that) in San Diego, five-ish full days of family, friends and homemade cookies. My last few weeks of work had been slammed full of work (thanks all), and the time away was a great recharge. New Years was approaching and instead of being lame and doing nothing, we threw a last minute party. The flyer was probably the best part, but we had a pretty epic time all the same. I invented a new drink that night, and drank far too much of it, leaving me a little hurting New Years Day down in the OC. I hate people who say “the OC”, slash myself. Watched some football, played some poker, drank to cure the hangover and had some of the best chili ever made, then we ended the night with “Frost Nixon”:, great film.

The holidays, as they are known, were great, and I am endlessly thankful to have the amazing people in my life that I do. I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate you all.

Somehow in the middle of all that craziness above the Chargers made the playoffs, so this past weekend I trekked back down (stopping in HB to play some football myself) for what was one of the best games I have ever seen. I was so fortunate to see that game in person, what a start to the New Year. Sunday I went and saw “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” with my Mother, I was a little nervous of how this would be adapted. I had heard some things that essentially made it sound like “The Notebook” and “Forrest Gump” were starring in a “Brad Pitt is rebuilding the ninth ward” infomercial, then I saw it and cried like a little old man baby. They nailed the potential this story has, and Pitt once again impresses. Everyone should see this and love it, but then again I do love “The Notebook”.

In the middle of all those things I also made a server switch (still MT, just a new version of the DV along with PHP5, finally), put up a few new websites (splash pages) for various friends and a few of my various projects and hung up a ton of art around the place.

I hope everyone else enjoyed some time with friends and family (or locked up avoiding them), whatever you needed the past weeks, and is looking forward to where 2009 can take us.

Oh, did you hear?
Yes we did.

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Here is the wrap-up:
I was sick for a good solid 2 weeks, most of it came from breathing pure ash from some of the lovely fires in Southern California, I finally recovered the week of Thanksgiving, but was way behind on work (thank you to everyone whose project was delayed, your grace is wonderful).

I got back on the ball and wrapped a ton of stuff up the past 2 weeks, including a 3 day trek to San Diego to see family/friends whom I love, and a 2 day trek to AZ to ride along with Tell as he played ASU. It was all great, and we officially decided AZ may be the best food state ever. Think about it, they get the west coast (In-N-Out, Del Taco, etc) and the Middle America (Waffle House, Chick-Fil-A, Sonic) along with other random things from states far off. Put a White Castle out there and my vote is in.

I just wrapped up William Tell’s MySpace the other day, if you haven’t been by lately he has quite a few new songs up that you should listen to. This little project was a fun nightmare. Lots of work overwriting MySpace and figuring out stupid little one line code issues, but it’s only the first time that this will kill me.

Also not too long back I finally got up a semblance of a website for Department Three. I have been promising this for years, and now finally some of my recent work is up to view at the studios site.

I’m working on a ton of other things, filing away files, getting caught up on emails, do if you are wondering why I haven’t replied to something, be patient. In the works are a few websites, some branding work, and a few more MySpace re-designs.

In other news, my friends at Hozell are having a warehouse sale this weekend. It’s today and tomorrow, and it also includes WeSC another great brand I’m a huge fan of. Info is on the MySpace linked there (because they didn’t want to put it on their MySpace?), and i’ll be there in a few minutes. If you are in LA/OC you should head down and hang.

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So how did I wrap up an utterly amazing week? Well, first I went down to San Diego and saw my family and celebrated my birthday early. It was a lovely time, and I got in some seriously needed pool time, because being on a river all week is way different angles of sunlight and the tan takes a serious toll.

Heading back home to Long Beach, I was ready to get back to reality. Well that was all thrown afoot on Sunday when we headed out to a little party that wound up being the biggest thing in LA County on Sunday. There were Lions, Tigers, Monkeys, Waterfalls, Margaritas, Old Friends, Amazing New Friends, Long Walks Back To The Car (Or For The Entrepreneurial Sorts Domino’s Car Rides), and Telling People Our Names Were 80′s Band Names (Which Worked Out Well For Todo). It was an absolute amazing time, and did I mention BI happened to have left his bayou home (and was visiting the place that misses him way too much, or maybe just the people do) and made the whole day that much better.

Thanks to everyone who invited us/threw the party, let us not wait in line, poured us beverages, gave me chips, made us smile, and all the rest involved, especially one graceful pizza delivery driver. I am thankful to have the friends I do, and the ridiculous times we get into. Life is good.

As if that run of days couldn’t get any better, early today I purchased a replica, orange, Chad Johnson jersey for far too ridiculously little. Ocho Cinco, check; Man Ram, up next.

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I was able to spend Father’s Day with my very own Father at the U.S. Open. It was a great day of golf, on a gorgeous course. We followed “Lefty” around for a while, and it seemed to do him good as he finished with 68. We hung out at the gorgeous 13 for a few hours and saw some incredible approach shots to a tight pin placement on an elevated green behind 3 bunkers. We almost got hit by Tiger’s drive on 1. We were there on 18 for Tiger’s put that sent the whole thing off to 18 more holes.

Professional golf is one of those things that should be experienced in person to truly grasp the energy, and the U.S. Open is no different. It’s great to watch on television as your favourite golfers walk up the fairway to a roar of the crowd, but the chill you will get from being the roar is even better.

Special thanks to Kyle Davidson for being important; No Special thanks to the sun block that failed me.

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For the record, I still have no idea what this all means.

Edit: I added the Twitter feed to my “live” section, I think… and if you have a Twitter let me know the goods, I’m a 1 at this.

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Coming soon, a blog about why I hate Dodger Stadium and the events that lead up to it. You might think that this blog is a violation of “no blog weekend”, however I wrote this on Monday, just to throw you off.

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I go shopping for yogurt and bread buy way too many things decide that I need to go green and buy reusable bags because they will fit more in them and completely forget yogurt, schedule servicing for the Mini, wearing the Persol’s constantly, wandering through art stores, driving laps at the Long Beach airport, watching the Discovery channel all day expanding my knowledge on Egypt, drinking wine on a Tuesday night, keeping secrets, drinking wine on a Monday night, being politically active on the internet, not being shocked when people say they will call and don’t, missing people, dealing with an insane 2 day window graphic installation at work, adding icons to my iPhones home screen, realising I suddenly have a Converse “collection”, cleaning out the freezer, wondering what percentage of people use Q-Tips for the proper use which is not cleaning your ear canals, missing the entire final four save for the last 2 minutes of the championship game and lastly, offending the French.

None of that is in chronological order, so just enjoy it as the pile of letters it is and move on.

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Life is never in the now, what it will be later, save a few rare moments where everything doubles back on itself and you use words like “epiphany” or “realisation”. This is another forced attempt to remember that whatever is happening now is far better than I think it is, and I think it’s just fine.

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If you peruse these archives, you will find; early morning drives, Cheetah conservation, vague reminiscing, 11 o’clock news play-by-play, a reminisce vaguely worded, run-on sentences, moments, earlier morning drives (at the end of a roadtrip), and surely a lot of poor grammar.

If you are interested in my more literary type endeavours, this would be your gin.

* I totally made this up, I am quite capable of wiki’ing “blog” and “knowing” it was created earlier, but that would be boring and predictable.

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I’m not so much speaking of one person literally. What I mean by that is that of course there was one of these certain things relating to one specific person that drove me to this point, so yes I am speaking of one person, literally, but also I am not. You see, lately the frequency of these moments is speeding up, and they aren’t always about that one person or any one person at all, I can assure you that, probably. Surely some of this had to do with the self-induced nostalgia (read: torture) of my musical choices the last week or so, so those moments did not surprise me in the least bit, in fact they were welcomed. The surprising moments came in the coincidental actions that came complete with one free, hit you in the face, trip down memory lane.

It is this sort of this lumped up ball of memories and emotions from all things past that has been constructed like some hybrid of a rubber band ball and dust bunny. It can’t be explained, but here I am explaining away. It is refreshing and amazing and all kinds of words that would be used to describe an unexpected welcomeness, really it is.

For those who think I write in cryptic, changes make only the end of refreshing moments. For those that think this is about them, it very well may be; and realise it is no less flattering to find out that it isn’t only about you, it only makes it less creepy. For those that think it’s about 14 February, it is not; for those that think it’s about today, it is.

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What really did it for me was one day after many conversations with many Windows users comprising of this automatic intense defense of their OS. It suddenly clicked with me, I was just that same way (only on the offensive), and it’s annoying. Anyone discussing anything who has to sell something that hard and make ravenous remarks has some serious insecurities. So I gave up, I would still always subtly slide in any pro Apple remark where I could, but it had to be applicable and rational, it would be only to educate and inform. I think this same “maturing” of the “Apple fan boy” has taken place on a wider scale with most others as well, and now you see a more confident Apple supporter, who doesn’t sink to kicking Windows users while they are down.

So can the same be said for Windows users? Did they give up on their hyper defensive stance? Have we all matured together to realise some people are okay with driving a minivan (is it at least a turbo charged minivan, with a cool number 18 decal on the side? No?), and the rest of us want something more sporty with a better design aesthetic and a functionality that is so simple, yet so forward? The answer lies on the internets friends, and it’s looking like the answer is “No”.

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I was in a program in Elementary that was called “GATE”, I have no idea what it meant, but it was about as elitist a program as you could find. I was once informed by one of my “GATE” teachers that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. I had friends in my classes sure, but my real best friends were two boys who were by no means any less intelligent than I, and by all means applied themselves less and caused more trouble. I was told not to hang out with them anymore, me age 10, being told that my friends were not good enough for me. I grew up with those two in my life for many more years, had amazing memories made with them, and still have contact with them to this day.

In High School it was less about the system telling me point blank what I should do, and more about them telling everyone what we shouldn’t do. Over my years I witnessed headwear being banned, girls being told their straps on their tank tops weren’t thick enough, and oh by the way, anything sexy or attractive about the opposite sex will distract us from our tasks (me, personally, I always tried to impress the cute girls with my knowledge and charm). I took up the cause of thousands of other kids who sat in a class where they already knew everything in the text book when I refused to stay in my Calculus class (after being moved out of the Advanced Placement Calculus class at the first half of the semester for having a C).

In college it was me, in Oral Communications, refusing to do outlines for my speeches, because I simply didn’t need them to give speeches that were only graded B’s because of said lack of outline. It was me in Image Manipulation sticking up for the random kid who was getting butchered in review by one sole person for absolutely no reason. It was me in Digital Illustration refusing to use layers; having to correct the teachers lecture errors until I finally left the class. It was me in Drawing & Perspective refusing to shade the boring pieces of fruit; turning in a series of handgun illustrations on velum complete with red spray paint splatter and packaged in a “decon” mailing envelope. It was me in a constant battle with my AD over me; taking classes “out of order”, testing out of classes and dealing with grading injustices. It was me again, in my last stand, fighting against an automatic fail in my Law class (which was due to me missing too many classes, because my Mother was in the hospital).

Growing up today I would be driven insane by some of the control placed over kids and young adults; uniforms at school (though honestly I kind of wish I had to wear slacks and a sweet blazer every day), classrooms split up by gender, arts and music disappearing from the classroom, test scores being the only sign of progress. I mean look at how I shrug off “proper” grammar and “conventional” writing styles alone, I have become a monster. It is all this that has been brought into my mind by reading about the plight of one young man who it seems pretty evident is cast in a similar mold to my own. It’s a story more people should hear and care about. Taking away the freedoms of our youth, to me, is even more of a travesty than taking away the freedoms of a grown adult. We have a voice, we can vote, who will will speak for the youth?

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Gregg Doyel wrote a fantastic piece about Rivers over at CBS Sportsline which I highly recommend reading. Doyel knows Rivers a bit more than the casual columnist as he covered Rivers college days at NC State.

Rivers’ honesty refreshing, but many don’t want to hear it

“This is one of the more fun guys in the NFL. He’s everything we say we want in a professional athlete. He talks to the media and says what’s on his mind. He shows unscripted emotion on the field. He pumps his fist and flaps his gums. He’s a professional football player, and you can tell how much fun he’s having.

And so we bitch and we gripe. Why? Because Rivers isn’t like everybody else. Never mind that we’ve already bitched and griped about athletes who are boring and talk in clichés and act aloof and seem to be playing for nothing more than a paycheck. Like Eli Manning. Never mind that we resent those guys for making football look like a miserable burden.

Here comes Philip Rivers, and he has some nerve — he’s nothing like those guys! Who does he think he is?” …

… “Philip Rivers isn’t like any of them. You know who he’s like? He’s kind of like us.”

This really couldn’t describe any more perfectly why I root for the guy. After he got drafted by the Chargers I started to hear some of the stories about his intensity and passion for the game, along with the fact that in 4 starting years he was the MVP of 5 bowl games, and you sort of got the feeling that this guy just loves football. When he steps out on the field he is the ultimate competitor and pours every ounce of everything he has into the game. Sure sometimes this backfires and he gets too pumped up and he throws a ball 4 feet over a WR’s head, sure the guy is still young and has a lot left to prove.

Rivers acts exactly the way I did when I played sports; talking all the way, stirring the rivalry and competition, loving every minute on the field. It’s perhaps why I relate so well to the guy, and why I find it so shocking that other sports fans don’t realise this guy is playing the exact same way they would. The truly refreshing thing about Rivers is that when it’s all over on the field, the switch turns off, and it stays there until the next time he steps out in competition.

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I headed South to San Diego once again with a car full of luggage, presents and one Grandmother. It was an easy drive, and my Grandmother kept me entertained with some simply amazing stories. Then I got a phone call from my Sister. She was calling because she knew I would be heading over to my Mom’s and thought I should know she was not there but was in the Hospital. These Hospital trips are not quite the freak out they once were, as they happen every now and then to try to keep whatever ailment from getting to a threatening situation, but a welcomed holiday tradition they are not.

I did get to enjoy a lot of time over at my Sister’s house, which was lovely to see a lot of the baby niece, which was quite a positive side effect. Christmas Eve was a whirlwind of some last minute shopping, Hospital visits and football. Christmas Day was food preparation, more Hospital visits, being late places, amazing presents, leaving early, last minute wine runs, cooking for 10, doing dishes forever and a finale at the Hospital. Finally the day after Christmas the doctors said my Mom could come home, so we finished up the Holiday season by celebrating the last of Christmas a day late. It mattered little what day it was, it was just good to have a little normalcy to hold on to.

Twas not the ideal holiday season, but in a lot of ways it had a more lasting effect on me. I wish only that I could have seen more of my friends that reside in the city I grew up in; that I could have had more California burritos while I was there.

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Maritime – The new album “Heresy and the Hotel Choir” is fabulous in a way that I really needed lately. Got me back into “We The Vehicles” as well, which is such an under-appreciated album.
Roomba – Yes I am that lazy, and yes I simply love it. I am deciding on a name currently, and Roombtacular the Mighty is the current odds-on favourite.
Say Anything – Max is pretty much “everyman”, and that is why his music is so addicting.
Catcher In The Rye – You guys know my obsession, deal with it. It’s an amazing novel. Quick weekend read got me so ready to buy this Fedora I have been eyeing.

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My Sister (due to give birth to her first child at any moment) and her husband had to evacuate from their first house, which they moved into only weeks ago. From what I can tell the fire was as close as a few miles to their neighborhood, but all seems to have gone well. My Mother evacuated that same night, it would become mandatory the next day for her neighborhood, but things appear to be okay now there as well. The fire rages on though, to the northeast.

Four years ago we evacuated my Mom’s house, wearing scars of scratching cats as battle wounds, and expected our Cabin in Julian to be lost. Once again Julian is threatened, and the small back country (well as back country as something in California can be) town will come together and fight like mad to save itself. I lived in San Diego County for the first 24 years of my life, and only in the 24th did I ever have to evacuate or truly feel the imminent threat of what these fires could bring. I think wildfires to a lot of people are not as much the tragedy as an earthquake or hurricane, but the psychological effect I gather is much the same. And now evacuations have surpassed those of Katrina, the local government taking so much necessary caution by making people get out before it really became life threatening or impossible to evacuate. The loss of possession is tragic, but the reaction of leadership and sense of community is in a somber way encouraging.

I reflect upon these fires to the south because most of me still considers San Diego my home. It’s where I’m “from”, it’s where I never intended to leave. I have family and friends spread out across the county, and none have been safe from the threat one shift in flames could bring. That image up above (Photo Credit: Brad Filip), that is Encinitas, maybe 10 blocks from the Pacific Ocean. At one point in the week both major interstates heading north, and the one interstate heading east out of San Diego were closed because of the fires. I think that makes a statement the news has failed to show. Up here in Los Angeles county we get hours and hours of a Malibu fire that has destroyed or damaged 22 structures, meanwhile an entire metropolitan area to the south is an island in a sea of flames.

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There were a few wardrobe delays getting to the track, but once all was overcome an absolutely wonderful time was had on a gorgeous day. I really wish they would create a Place-Show Exacta, because I would win them all (and yes I would bet it). Other important lessons learned were; the 9 horse is out to ruin me, a $0.10 Superfecta box on the entire field of 12 is costs more than you would think, some horses just have pure natural instinct to finish (with or without a jockey), the only horse I didn’t bet on is always going to win the Preakness. I missed about 5 Exacta’s by one position, blew a Superfecta by one position, and threw countless monies at horses who just couldn’t finish.

The other entertaining moments of the day were a close encounter (seated at the table next to us) with the infamous Wal-Mart wine/condom guy, and a baffling game of “are we girlfriends, or are we girlfriends” with attractive mid-twenties East Coasters as the subject.

I pretty much lost all day and had thrown in the proverbial towel on the day via text message, when my last bets all hit with the 3 horse in the Seventh. A good day turned even better, thank you for the luck kind text message-ers.

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For the record, as Mother’s love nature and craft like things, Julian is quite the hit for Mother’s Day.

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As my parent’s close in on old I am noticing I need to devote more time to them. And I’m at my Fathers and we been have playing golf all day, mostly worried if I look the part. So we are there, He, a family friend, and I; and we are reminiscing. We think of old times we had, we’ll mostly that they had and I reflect forward on similar ones I might have at some point in my life. And I realize it is never good to swear you “smoke pot and forget it” in front of your Father. So my Step-Mother begins the grilling, “are you dating anyone?” To which I always want to reply something, but none really seem that special, and any great joke would only prove confusing. And I’m not gay.

She, this is the interesting one, asked if people think I’m gay (they do) and she clearly pointed out all my gay qualities. I am okay, I have confidence in my woman liking abilities, they will not fade. After all, she is interesting.

I live with my Mother but rarely see her. My hours are spent out, making sure the things I do are done, no one really understands me, what I do. So we agree on dinner and I eventually get home from work to wait as she takes a phone call for 20 minutes. Yes I was late, but the phone was after I was there, and it still lasts 20 minutes. So I drive to dinner, as apparantley Mom has had a few glasses of wine. We discuss plans for vacation, a few days off for me to fly to Sedona, to the timeshare. Talk turns to her Father who is altogether great, and at times my nemesis. His status is on the decline, and although I am confident it is normal and he is doing good for his age, it affects my Mother. She is suggesting I spend time there this weekend, and I agree. As we are seated I notice Mom is a little loud, and can’t remember what she wanted to order. I do not fully grasp the part of the conversation where “a few drinks” apparantley meant drunk. We begin the conversation about the vacation again, I hit all my marks, my lines are solid. I look for a cut, but we are apparently still rolling. We discuss a barbeque at the house this weekend that my sister will be having, and how I should go. This however conflicts with the “my hanging out with her Father” plans we made in the previous take. She suggests she meant some time, that she is staying the night there so I would not come. I look around the room, something has changed.

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