Shot by freelancer Richard Lam, and licensed by Getty (with the version you are seeing courtesy of the Vancouver Sun), the photo was taken amidst police lines, flailing mannequin appendages, and the always predictable cars on fire. Lam has some great thoughts on the moment in the above link, which are summed up nicely in this quote.

I was trying not to get my ass kicked

There has been some controversy today that the subjects were staging the shot, and some people claim the girl was injured (which perhaps brings the level of romanticism so high the rest of us never have a chance), but either way no one can argue how absolutely powerful of an image this is. Wouldn’t be surprised to see it picking up some awards for photograph of the year.

For more from Lam and his thoughts on if they posed: The Atlantic Wire

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A spectacular story by David Amsden about his awkward High School years, and how Jay McInerney is to thank for all the more-awkward moments that involved the opposite sex:

Excerpt:

By late spring, however, the one thing I had gleaned for certain about the girl was that she liked to read—an unfortunate discovery.
…
Regardless, I did the only thing that made sense; I adopted a completely false personality, approached the girl as she was waiting for her bus on the last day of school, and asked what she was up to over the summer.

“Cause there’s, like, this used bookstore I love,” I lied.

http://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2011/01/03/story-of-my-life/

via @donetodeath/@parisreview

If you haven’t read Story of my Life and enjoyed Bright Lights, Big City (or any of the other 80′s “Literary Brat Pack”—McInerney, Ellis, Janowitz, and Lindquist) you should start today, who knows what it will bring to your life.

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We got a big dose this year of how the fine art community has been affected by what sells with “Exit Through The Gift Shop”. Add to that the flow of art dealers being appointed curators that started with Jeffrey Deitch and MOCA, and we see the community finely embracing the idea that “great” art is only great because someone wants it on their wall. Commercialism was always in fine art, no one ever wanted to admit it. You want proof? Every single one of “The Masters” made a very nice living painting commissioned pieces. They weren’t the ultimate “artisans” creating only from passion and for their own release. They created for purpose, for money, as a job.

It’s an interesting debate when you move the same discussion over to music. People who write music to be commercially successful rarely seem to be commercially successful, and if they admit such things would be labeled “sell-outs’. Musicians are somehow supposed to be “artists” who only make music to express their emotions. It’s one of the most popular defenses towards why people think they should be able to steal music.

Art however, IS commercial. Art has always BEEN commercial, and that is what has made it brilliant and gorgeous and life-affecting. Yes, life-affecting, exactly the same way a brilliant marketing campaign can be.

So how do we start accepting that music made for a specific commercially marketable purpose is okay? How do we even know it can turn out palatable? Easy. Cudi, Rostam (Vampire Weekend), and Bethany (Best Coast) went out and proved it can. “All Summer” only happened because of Converse.

Converse challenged these artists to make something that would make Converse seem cool across 3 fan-bases, and these artists gladly did so, and did so with so much dedication and focus that they turned it into one of the best Summer songs ever written. They could have half-assed the job, they could have taken some crappy throw away ideas and done just enough, but they did their job as creators with excellence and wound up adding even more buzz to their already peaking levels. Is Converse selling more shoes for footing the bill? I hope so, because it means more potentially spectacular marketing driven music.

Good for Converse. Good for music. Well done.

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Albums of the year, everyone has their end all album of the year, everyone has some suspect mentions, my list has both. In case you don’t actually know me, my musical taste is bi-polar at best. There is nothing more addictive to me than a perfectly crafted pop hook, and nothing more beautiful than a simple line sung by a raspy imperfect voice backed by an acoustic guitar.

I went with 30 albums, and there were plenty of albums that don’t make this cut, however the ones that do are ones that held a place in my year, that I listened to over and over again, or connected with me on some level, or was the soundtrack to me writing run on sentences. I gave an order for 1-10, but the rest all equally move from 11 to 30 on any given minute. These collections of songs are obviously the ones I was the most connected to this year, so for 1-10 I will include a few thoughts on the album and it will spill into non-sense at any given moment.

1. Manchester Orchestra – Mean Everything To Nothing
Their debut album was one of those records that made me love music and love working in the music industry (I was at TMG when I first heard it, and there were some talks and meetings in those days). Somehow I didn’t have any built up expectations for this record, and when I heard it I had not one disagreement with the direction the band went. Some could argue it’s a different record than their debut, some could nitpick the evolution, but when a bands evolution is natural and “right” the album just seems right (for the opposite of this feeling, see Brand New’s “Daisy”). I think this album played for 24 days straight on repeat. I’m not even kidding.

2. fun. – Aim & Ignite
I hated this album with such passion at first. I hated this album probably as much as Nate hated “Cause A Scene” when he wrote this album. I hated it because he hated that, and then one day, over-stressed and freaking out about life, someone amazing said to me “Be Calm” and so I let it play, and “heard” this record for the first time.

3. Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
This was the soundtrack to me driving the 101 to the 110 this year. I don’t know why, or how, but it was always on. Phoenix finally made the record that catapulted them out of the immensely talented (and saturated) french pop rock scene and into the mainstream.

4. Where The Wild Things Are OST
Legendary children’s book that was a huge park of my life being made into a movie, penned by my favourite author, directed by a spectacular visionary artist, could this get any more hyped personally? And then Karen O went and put the perfect sounds with the most beautiful images I saw this year. I’m sure this soundtrack/score will lose out to something horrible (such as that Avatar song) in all the awards, but it was one of the best soundtracks in years.

5. Say Anything – Say Anything
After an underwhelming double album, how could you really expect much from Max Bemis? You knew the uniquely catchy songs were still in him, you knew he was still insane, you knew he was still jaded, but somehow that double album created an ocean to saturate his genius. This album was precise, exact, and exactly what was needed. Heck, he even only needed 30 words or less for some of these scene pop gems.

6. Andy Shauf – Darker Days
I’ve heard Andy Shauf compared to Elliott Smith in something I read. I’m not sure if that’s accurate, yet I totally get what they meant. His songs invoke this feeling I haven’t had for years, this feeling as you are listening that everything is exactly where it should be in this musical landscape and that your connected to the artist and his words in the most simple and honest way. The last time I felt that way was with… Elliott Smith.

7. Third Eye Blind – Ursa Major
The EP got my hopes up, the single hooked me, and “Bonfire” and “Summer Town” solidified this record as one of their best. It would be impossible for me to rank 3eb’s albums, but I feel like this one stands up well against the others, shows their familiar characteristics along with enough freshness to be just what I needed out of them. I also saw the band live for the first time this year on a cliff in Malibu, I had previously promised I would never see them live (because of all the rumours that they are horrible live), needless to say it might have been the setting, but I found their live performance breathtaking.

8. Discovery – LP
It was hard to keep Discovery in my mind all year, I’ll admit. The beginning of 2009 was filled with Discovery, though, it’s the kind of record to put on while you are getting ready to head out for a great night of bad decisions. It gets the blood running with it’s electro fused sounds, is cool enough and unknown enough to surprise your hip friends, and tops it all off with polished pop vocals and harmonies that put a smile on your face. I’m not sure how to explain the mischievous mood you wind up in after listening to this record, but I’m extremely glad for it.

9. Freelance Whales – Weathervanes
I went to see this band live with my friend Rob, who admitted he wasn’t really into the band, but thought that the perfect girl would like this band. Let me tell you, he is absolutely correct, the perfect girl LOVES this band. This album is quite honestly perfect folk pop, it’s also acceptable to love even if you’re a guy.

10. The XX- XX
One of the most complete albums of all time. It’s almost the “Frankenstein’s Monster” of my musical tastes.

11. thru 30, in alphabetical order.
All Time Low – Nothing Personal
The Avett Brothers – I And Love And You
Boys Like Girls – Love Drunk
Cartel – Cycles
Cassino – Kingprince
Fashawn – Boy Meets World
The Fray – The Fray
Hockey – Mind Chaos
Jamie T – Kings & Queens
Jay Z – The Blueprint 3
Kevin Devine – Brother’s Blood
Lights – The Listening
Matt & Kim – Grand
John Mayer – Battle Studies
Mayer Hawthorne – A Strange Arrangement
Mike Dunn & The Kings Of New England – Sundowner
Monsters Of Folk – Monsters Of Folk
Muse – The Resistance
Sherwood – Qu
The Swell Season – Strict Joy

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Singles usually stand out from an album in a way in which a truly spectacular single (or two) can carry a mediocre album and make it good, or in some cases can make a great album seem mediocre by not living up to the best song. Either way there really can only be one pure ranking and that’s the single of this album of singles. See what I did there?

1. Jay-Z – Empire State Of Mind

In No Particular Order:
The Fray – You Found Me
Weezer – I Want You To
The Avett Brothers – I And Love And You
Lily Allen – The Fear
All Time Low – Weightless
Miley Cyrus – Party In The U.S.A
Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship Feat. Leighton Meister
La Roux – Bulletproof
Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling
Matt & Kim – Daylight

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Sherwood – Qu – iTunes
I’ve know the Sherwood guys for years, dating back to working on their first full length when they were on Sidecho. They write some ridiculously catchy songs with gorgeous harmonies (and even some gang vocals), and they are even better people than they are musicians.

The Summer Set – Love Like This – iTunes
The Summer Set was on The Militia Group for the release of their EP, and the potential of the band was immediately noticed. I’ve had the song Chelsea off “Love Like This” stuck in my head for like months, and finally I can try to get myself sick of it by listening to it on repeat all day. This album shows a realization of all that potential they showed on the EP, and gives you a promise for a pretty strong career in this whole thing.

What? You don’t like Summer? Or Pop music? Okay, I’ve got some wonderfully Americana feeling, fall enjoying, music for you also.
Andy Zipf – Our Voice Is A Weapon – iTunes
Another wonderfully simple, beautifully layered batch of songs from an artist on P is for Panda. Who knew Panda’s liked Americana so much? One of the best people in the world runs this label, so I think you can do your part to support good people/music by dropping 3 bucks on this.

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Some of the things you can actually go out and see right now (that at some point only lived on my computer) are MySpace layouts for Boys Like Girls and My Favorite Highway. Both these bands are amazing, and BLG have a new record out, that I’m sure you’ve heard a few songs on your radio from. MFH has a new video out, which you can see on said MySpace.

I’ve also been working on quite a few logos, print work and layouts that aren’t quite out in the public eye yet, and MySpace layouts for Andrew W.K. and The Bleach Works should be up next week. Recently I launched a website design I did for a film called The Road Less Traveled, it’s a pretty interesting concept and gives a whole new view of a part of the world we don’t all get to see.

I’d also like to bring back what may have been a feature of my blog and recommend some things, mainly because I think everyone could stand to hear some good music:
fun. – Aim & Ignite – This band has one of The Format guys in it, along with a cast of other talented musicians who all played in a few other bands and came together to create fun. I happen to think The Format’s debut was one of the most perfect complete albums ever, so at first I HATED fun., then I let it play and found that I couldn’t stop. I had to apologize to a couple good friends for ever trying to say that this record isn’t absolutely phenomenal, and even the songs I hated I now love. Lesson learned.

Third Eye Blind – Ursa Major – I never expected to be this addicted to a new 3eb record. Sure their catalogue is one that is constantly playing in my life, but did anyone really expect this resurgence? I wanted to feel this way about this record, for months now, but I knew I wouldn’t, yet here I am. I think my favourite track has to be Summer Town, it just gives you that feeling where you want to be inside, is full of classic 3eb lines, techniques, phrasing, etc that just make it the classic non-single 3eb fave. The pseudo ending is spectacular as well. If you have somehow missed everyone talking about 3eb again, you need to drive a few laps around town playing this album.

Ryan Adams – The other day I realised I haven’t listened to Ryan Adams in months, and then I proceeded to listen to it for 3 days straight. Perhaps it got me back to being a little too jaded, but I think it was exactly what my days needed. Next month will be filled with lots of Elliott Smith as well.

Hope everyone out there who still checks in on this nonsense of a website is well, I’d name you by name, but that would just get awkward.

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If you are just hearing about me moving from this, maybe you are saying “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me, what a bad friend”, well let’s face it… you aren’t a very good friend either. I’m kidding, I probably didn’t tell you because I’m absolutely slammed with work right now, the week you are moving is a great week to be the busiest of the year, trust me. So as of Sunday, I’ll be residing in LaLa Land, someplace underneath this gorgeous view.

To every one of my Long Beach friends and foes, I will miss being your neighbor; To all the fellow Angelians, excited to be amongst the concrete jungle.

If you need my new address to send housewarming gifts, shoot me an email.

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Mashable has a great post on their IE6 death wish, some of the intricacies of why IE6 is horrible, why developers need to start denying pages to load in it, and what the future holds for anyone using a real browser.

Mashable

Both Digg and YouTube have announced that they’re cutting back on IE6 support. Facebook already gives you suggestions for better browsers if you try to log in with IE6. You won’t be able to Digg articles or browse YouTube via IE6 in the near future.

If you are using IE6, please stop, use IE8 if you must or try Safari or Firefox out, you might be surprised at how the internet has changed these past 10 years. If you work in IT, make it a priority to upgrade your companies browsers, far more designers will respect you.

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I am not a huge fan of the NAACP. I understand why it was created, I understand all the good it has done, but in todays world I have seen them too quick to call anything racist and not really helping to advance anything. I recently saw an interview that got me excited about the NAACP again. Their President, one Benjamin Jealous (hello, awesome name), is multi racial, grew up on two coasts, was a Rhodes Scholar, his Grandfather was born a slave and died a Senator, and he is the youngest ever President of the NAACP.

So what did I like so much about this guy? What made me feel like he truly wants to better this world? For one, his multiple uses of the words ‘for everyone”. The lack of the NAACP getting behind other minorities and even majorities has always been my main criticism of it. A group like this was founded at a time where the need to focus on equality for “blacks” was the strongest, but this group could have evolved as they won battles towards civil rights for “blacks” and taken up more causes for all the other minorities. The NAACP is the iconic civil rights organization in this country, sure they don’t need to expand and change, but I feel like so much potential is wasted focusing mainly on only one “colour” of person.

Additionally Benjamin Jealous just seems real, I know this is naive on my part, but I feel like this guy gets “it”. It may be all political positioning, but this man is not just talking about all the injustices in the world, instead speaking on what more we can do to get the world where he hoped it would be. He is looking towards the future, while understanding his organizations past, and even acknowledges that the time has come for them to shift and adapt. It’s a refreshing stance to see.

I will not go as far to say that in todays world there is no discrimination towards minorities left, but I will also point out that there are people of all colour being discriminated against in this nation. I would love to see the NAACP formally become the National Association for the Advancement of People, and finally fulfill their potential to be fighting every civil rights injustice and helping making all of us better people in the process. Perhaps Mr. Jealous may be the one to begin that evolution.

Check out the first few minutes of the interview:

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Here is Ken Block showing some impressive maneuvers over at the Port of Los Angeles.

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I said I’m quiet about racism, that’s kind of a lie, I’m super against racism being made an excuse for everything. I think it perpetuates racism to always be playing that “card” and I think the NAACP is not actually “advancing” anything and is only focused on one colour. For examples of things I think are stupid cases of racism being inserted into a topic just to gain publicity, read how I felt about the Duke LAX case.

Back on track, so this article listed this racism connection:

Globe Campus

He had heard his white classmate throw an angry racial slur in his direction after an argument during a gym class game of speedball, and now the student was shoving him backward, refusing to retract the smear.

The white student swung first, hitting the 15-year-old with a punch to the mouth.

The 15-year-old heard his father’s voice running through his head: Fight only as a last resort, only in self-defence, only if given no choice, and only with the left hand.

His swing was short and compact, a left-handed dart that hit the white student square on the nose.

The nose broke under his fist, igniting a sequence of events – from arrest to suspension to possible expulsion – that has left the Asian student and his family wondering whether they are welcome in this small, rural and mostly white community north of Toronto, one that has been touched by anti-Asian attacks in the past.

Sounds horrible right? Not only did this kid do the right thing by finally sticking up for himself after probably months of torment, but he’s the only one being punished for a fight where both kids threw punches. Pretty tragic case, and I have this kids back, good for him for breaking this jerk’s nose.

So what was that racial slur?

Globe Campus

He said the boy called him a “fucking Chinese,” a comment he instantly knew was far from a joke.

Far from a joke? Yes. Hateful and mean spirited? Yes. Racist? I’m not sure. Granted I’m no form of asian, so I don’t know how offensive it really might feel to be called from the wrong country/region. I have one Korean friend who I bet has a great opinion on this, so maybe I’ll get that soon, but I do have some thoughts on this alleged racism.

First of all, were talking about essentially attacking this kid’s nationality. Yes that still falls under the broad scope of racism, but really what was racist here? Is anytime a nationality, ethnicity or race (yours or otherwise) attached to an insult racism? Is it the fact he was called an incorrect nationality that makes this racism? I don’t think so, but I’ll cover that in a bit. Would this kid have felt just as insulted if he had been called “fucking Korean”? I’m not sure of the answer to that last one, but if so then I have to disagree with this being racism.

Korean versus Chinese, again I’m an U.S. American with northern European decent, so maybe I can’t ever “get this”. However, I know Korea is right next to China, I know the people are probably, technically very much alike, perhaps even the same ethnicity. I know the Korean language (although origins debated) does have ties to the ancient Chinese languages (as does Japanese). We are talking about the differences of two nations that have more modern similarities than the U.S. and Mexico. I just don’t think calling someone an incorrect nationality that borders one’s actual nationality, while insulting them has to be a racist comment.

Was the supposedly “racist” kid ignorant? Hateful? Stupid for not knowing the difference between Korea and China? Probably yes on all accounts, but I didn’t read anything in that story that made it seem like he even knew he wasn’t calling him by his correct nationality, let alone making a comment to oppress based on that nationality. He was just a kid, a dumb kid, wanting to be mean and call the other kid a “fucking ANYTHING” and he got his nose broken for it.

The only things I can sort of (and by sort of I mean, not at all) relate to this is growing up “white” in America. I had to always check that “white” box, had no other identity, yet no one ever seemed to mind. Yeah, yeah, rough life I had, but I’m not “white” thank you, and I know I’m the majority here but it is a little insensitive to call me that. Is it a tolerance thing because I’ve been “white” for years? Is me being called white offensive? Should it be? Was it once? Could it be? Is it okay because someone “white” was the one who decided on describing us that way? All those things above are pretty much a ridiculous statement, even though I really should be able to express my ethnicity and family origins (Welsh-Irish, amongst other things) just as much as any non-white person.

Here is the only thing that can really hit close to home for me; Would I be offended if someone called me Scottish, or even a “fucking Scot”? Absolutely not, I’d just correct them, and then take up the battle of why this person just called me “fucking ANYTHING”.

I must say I’m really glad that these people at this school are speaking up about this incident, I just wish they were speaking up because a kid who fought back was expelled while the bully lives on, not because of some link to “racism”. I think it sort of cheapens what this is really about. It does seem like there are other real issues with racism towards asiatic people in this region, and I think they should address it and surely this will help those issues as well, but let’s allow kids to stand up for themselves and not be punished.

Just to lighten the mood as I finish up this way too long post, I’ll leave you with my favourite quote of the article.

The Korean Boy’s Father

“Personally, for my kid, I should move. But as a Canadian I cannot move.”

Who knew that Canada didn’t allow you to move? Ha. J, slash, K, Canada.

I’m really curious to hear what others think about this topic, and this is one of those things where I wish my blog actually got larger readership than it does, but I think this will stir a few minds a bit.

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I know this will not be received well by many.

I’m not trying to say the guy isn’t a talented musician or songwriter, he surely is, and he surely captured a generation with his political stance and his unique mindset, but how did he wind up that way for multiple generations? To me, Dylan is the guy who wrote 4 songs that have a lasting power, the guy whose son wrote an entire album I like better than any of his fathers, the guy who has made continued his career by being the guy the “cool” people like “because he’s Dylan”.

How is this guys career so much more notable than a guy like Tom Petty or James Taylor?

Now let’s clear up a couple of facts here, it’s well known that I like “hits”. I don’t mean Top 40 songs necessarily, I mean songs with an epic hook, songs that as you walk down the street you curse having them stuck in your head (but give it another spin the second you can), HITS. Secondly, I was born in the seventies, raised in the eighties, and am living in the zeroes, Dylan hasn’t had a hit since I’ve been alive.

So why is Dylan so revered? Elvis has the same sort of fanatics, different in lots of ways, but still same kind of experience. Elvis sold records, had hit songs, was in films and was one of the first real celebrities of modern times. So Dylan is the anti-Elvis maybe? Out of the lime-light, political and all about the music and the art? Eh, I don’t think so, it might be his angle, and maybe part of why he appeals to people, but I don’t buy it, he needs to do something, not just not do something. It seems lately he does more of the not doing something, while still just writing/recording away.

Dylan was truly relevent when he wrote “The Times They Are a-Changin’” and it captured an entire aspect of the population who found a voice and mouth for all the things running through their head, but four decades later is he still? I recently “tweeted” in reply about Dylan, that Valens had 4 truly great songs on one record in an 8 month career, doing so not to compare the two, but to bring up this nugget: Is Dylan renowned because he’s simply alive and still cranking out records?

People love to play the card that Dylan isn’t Top 40, or that Top 40 hits don’t make a song or an artist “great”, and it’s all true. We all have those artists who will make 10 albums and never get radio play. I happen to love Sigur Ros and surely they will never be Top 40, but I’ll buy every record ever. Maybe that’s the key to it all, and that Dylan just clicks with some people and doesn’t with me. Maybe, but I have this vague feeling that to many, especially in my generation, liking Dylan is a lot like reading Kerouac; It’s a statement move towards the non-today, the counter culture, aimed at being a part of a generation you missed or trying to stand apart from your current one. Such as with any counter culture movement, it winds up as trendy and actually the majority, and perhaps that’s what I see today.

The truly interesting part of what I mention above is that Dylan wasn’t non-Top 40, he actually formed his career off hit songs, and at various points decided he didn’t want his records promoted certain ways or proper singles released by his label amongst other things, but his career was not consistently that. It was kind of a lot like Radiohead’s “release the music straight to the fans” move, where a band that already built up to a very successful level goes about a shift to be more “artistic”, strictly about the music, and through all of it bucking the system/process that created them. Dylan after being a mainstay “rock” act who was revered for his political and social commentary which brought him to a certain level, went country and stopped talking politics, and then even went Christian (and I have theories about all the hipster Christians I know who love Dylan too, don’t get me started).

I don’t understand how this guy managed to keep such a stable fan base through all of those changes, through very few (if any) recent songs a majority of the population can even name, to put out an album, that in the year 2009, charts at number one.

The only thing I can even come close to an explanation with is that Dylan is still there doing it. Elvis is dead, The Beatles broke up, Zeppelin disbanded, Michael Jackson went pedo, Garth Brooks retired, every other voice of a generation and/or successful career artist has either died or become too controversial or alienated themselves some other way. Dylan got less controversial, stayed alive, and over time had more and more people spreading the Dylan gospel, giving them no reason to dislike them and it being “counter”, then “different”, then “forgotten”, and at many times throughout those popular to like him. It really is quite a remarkable and impressive career.

All that to say, I’m still just waiting for someone to explain what makes Dylan so great. I’m ready for it to hit me, I’m ready to be wowed, I’m willing to listen to a record or three (but no more) with open ears and have my life changed… because after all… so many of you have been telling me, for years, that is who this man is.

P.S. I realise someone is going to tell me that just the fact he has been able to affect so many people over such a long period of time is the simple answer to the question I ask in this title, but that still doesn’t make me want to listen to him… go deeper.

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I’m not sure if Aillaud is considered as a post-structuralist, but to me I see that in his work and his inspirations for it. I’m not sure his motivations were purely post-structuralist, as I think he wasn’t so much rejecting structuralism as he was tired of the systematic approach that was architecture post war. I see much of the same motivations, ideas, and form that lead us into the LA/Santa Monica school and architects like Frank Gehry.

You can see some more photos of the Tours and some other Emile Aillaud designed buildings in this Flickr pool.

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All that being said, that logo can be found on something rather awesome. A(n) USB drive bracelet. What? Yeah. Okay. See for yourself. Brilliant idea TRL team.

The Record Life has their EP out now on iTunes, if you like what you hear.

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Apple. Think Different Campaign. (Apple/TBWA Chiat Day)

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

I know I need to stop and remember these words more often, and keep pursuing my life as a person “uncomfortable with the status quo”*. To all those people in my life who fit into everything described above, thank you.

*This statement is one of those things like, 3 people will get. Sorry, but they will probably laugh pretty hard, and I can’t rob them of that just so that this would make more sense to you.

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Take it all in:

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So I’ve been busy, again. I got my tax extension turned in on time, so I’m doing better than some people, but it’s just an extension, so I’m doing worse than most. If you don’t appreciate the greatness of Twitter, and/or realise I don’t really say anything about what’s going on there anyway, and want to know what’s going on, this is your Huckleberry (I’mmm yuh Huhklebehhy).

I wrapped up a few MySpace re-designs for some great bands: My Favorite Highway (record was released yesterday, and you should own it), Green River Ordinance (FFO: The Fray, etc), The Urgency, and Young Love. I got up the website for a ska band from Boston called Westbound Train up, I’m not really into ska, and if you aren’t either realise these guys have much more of an old R&B sound to them. I also finally finished up the layout for a band I used to do a lot of work with called Parker Theory. I’ll get the cover up somewhere, sometime soon. I was also working a lot of sleepless nights on a secret logo project that I can’t really discuss yet, and don’t really know the outcome of, so you may never hear about it, but hey at least me writing this makes me appear “mysterious” right?

Other non-design things I have been up to include: Building an HD antenna with Kyle so we are one step closer to canceling cable, Finally fixing my Mail so that my Junk Mail will stay on the server (tip: don’t put periods in your account name), Got out to see the Ducks knock off the Sharks and fully reinvigorate my love for NHL playoff hockey, Bought more vinyl (still no turntable), and successfully got an external HD once deemed dead, back in the world of the living.

I’m off to get back into the work, nice seeing you again.

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It’s all very ironic to me when I see a band bringing these concerns. I understand why, I understand that even the supposed rebels making rock music feel threatened that people create successful songs and even sell out a room doing something “easier” than they do. Artists are supposed to be the ones pushing envelopes, artists are supposed to welcome change and innovation; so why are so many upset that people are finding new ways to make music that people like? In the end it’s all relative, sure you may not like a band like 3oh3! (not the band listed in the blog, but I see a lot of this type of response geared towards them from artists and fans), but people think they created (that’s the key word) a pretty catchy and fun couple of tunes. It doesn’t matter how, or the tools used, none of that crap actually makes any artist “cooler” than another (but some sure think it does).

It’s about creation, creating something, being far more unique than the boring old ways of a guitar and amp. Let me announce something, not everyone can program a hit song in a computer, just as not everyone can play the guitar like Hendrix. Sure, a lot of people try both, but a lot of people fail. The ones trying and failing doing it using a guitar are no more (or less) important than the ones trying and failing at programming a song in a computer. They are expressing themselves, they are creating, they are pushing boundaries. Maybe they are creating for commercial success you say? So what, so are plenty of bands.

What I really wonder, I wonder if these were the same things happening: when photography was invented, when they took classical instruments and created jazz, bluegrass, etc, when moving pictures were invented, when a broken amplifier accidentally invented the now standard distortion. You get it right? It’s innovation, and sometimes Rock N’ Roll seems a little old and dated with their mentality about the auditory realm.

Not all music is for everyone, but criticizing ANYONE trying, especially if the critic is a fellow creator, is a bit hypocritical (and can come off as jealousy). Just say it’s not for you and let the masses decide their final place in the scheme of things.

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Here is a lovely little example of the jewels this man is capable of cranking out, the entire post can be read here:

Bob Lefsetz

Love is a risk. If you’re not willing to get your heart broken, you’d better not play.

Then there are the heartbreakers, possessing some advantage the rest of us don’t, beauty or bucks, who flit from boy to boy or girl to girl, like a celebrity.

Then there are the self-conscious, who have to gin up their gumption to even speak with a member of the opposite sex.

If you want insight into the truth of this world, you’d be better off studying the imperfect, whose lives don’t follow a constant upward trajectory, their seemingly insignificant victories may seem minor to you, but they’re the tent poles of their lives.

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So Gene spoke, and it was like a commercial, and this guy Lefsetz didn’t like it. Bob Lefsetz is this guy who writes this letter (it’s a blog, let’s be honest) on the music industry. Somehow the entire industry thinks the guy is genius, but I don’t get it. He constantly thinks he has the solutions to save the music industry, criticizes others who actually act and try to do something different, and as far as I can find has never actually done anything to help save the industry. All that said, his RSS feed (which sucks by the way; who makes RSS feeds that you can only read 2 lines of? People who won’t be saving any industry, that’s who) is subscribed to and once in a while (when I find those 2 lines interesting enough) I read a full post.

You can go find the post on Gene if you want, but what you should do is give Gene your visit and see it and his answers over at Simmons Records website. They are amazing and great, and entertaining… everything we should be getting, and Gene wants to give us. My favourite exchange, because it’s absolutely more valid than 90% of the things Lefsetz says is as follows:

Bob Lefsetz

Just because you’re a big musical act, that doesn’t mean you’re a decent executive, that you can run a record company.

Gene Simmons

SAYS WHO. YOU? AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MAKE THESE ASSESSMENTS. WHAT’S YOUR QUALIFICATION, IN FACT, FOR SAYING ANYTHING…

I’d like to remind people who run the music industry of a few things that Gene seems to also feel; Just because you have been around the old music industry, doesn’t mean you can be succesful in the new music industry. Just because you ran a label or run a label or had success with an artist, doesn’t mean you will ever be successful again. Just because something worked once, doesn’t mean it is the pattern.

Artists should have people who believe in them as much as Gene believes in himself (and surely any band/artist he gets behind), and should also have people who are as brutally honest as Gene is and don’t give people ridiculous manipulative sells every time they have a conversation.

Gene Simmons is kind of refreshing.

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For those of you who don’t know, I’m out on tour with William Tell and Jimmy Robbins. I have to tell you guys Jimmy is one of the best new things in my life, and William is one of the best old. We are a pretty great band of travelers.

So we started out in Boston, Cambridge proper for 2 days (including a great stop at Drink), and then Greyhound’d down to NYC. We crashed in Williamsburg the first night, then mid-town at the Pod Hotel (bunkbeds, with Eames patterned bedspreads). The show in NYC was at the Highline, and it had a great turnout. From there we went to Hoboken, NJ. Now let me tell you, I have said a lot of bad things about NJ, and quite a few about Hoboken (I mean it does start with Hobo, and Eli Manning lives there), but I take it all back. After 2 days I’m a fan. It’s a great town where you can still grab a slice at random hours of the night, but escapes the complete craziness over the river.

Sometime after that we finally got a car, drove to Baltimore, stalked the “Ace Of Cakes” place, and wandered Fell’s Point. I wound up buying hat’s and old screens (screen printing screens), and we even cheered for the Buffalo Sabers (I can’t really explain). The next day I headed to the airport for a flight to Newark and then Orange County, only to be greeted by a delayed flight which would have made me miss my connection. So then I was on a Delta flight to Atlanta, then Orange County. Yeah, so then a ground stop in Atlanta kept me at BWI another 2 hours (I had already waited 3). Did iI mention I was flying back for my Father’s wedding the next day?

So I was a bit concerned I would be stuck forever in Maryland or Georgia, but eventually I made it back to California. The wedding was great, very musical oriented, and out in the Angeles National Forest. That evening I got on a plane for here, JFK. I promptly passed out, and that flight is now known as the Best Redeye Ever. Soon I will be heading to North Carolina to meet up with William and Jimmy, who played Philly and Raleigh while I was gone.

If you want to be involved in my insane travels, I will soon be in Charlotte, Wilmington, Delray Beach (Ft. Lauderdale), Orlando and Tampa. If you have ways to get me and 2 others into Disneyworld for free, you are especially encouraged to reach out. I really recommend you come out to a show if you are around one of these cities, it’s a great chance to see wonderful music in it’s barest form performed at levels the likes you may never see. At least stop by and familiarize yourself with William Tell and Jimmy Robbins. I’ll see you all soon.

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So I have been ridiculously busy in the last few weeks, and there are good reasons for that. I have a ton of work, and I will be over on the East Coast for a couple weeks. Why? Why not! I will be headed out to such cities as Boston, New York, Hoboken, New York, Baltimore, Los Angeles, Charlotte, Wilmington, Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa, and Orlando. It’s quite a journey, and I will be on the road with my good friend William Tell and Jimmy Robbins. They will be playing perfect pop music, and I will be helping them in a multitude of ways, while still carrying on my normal load of design fun (though the past few weeks have made it so it will be a little lighter).

If you are on the lesser coast, and we are friends, we need to hang out. I’m really bad at calling people or writing them in advance, so just track me down and let’s get a drink. If you are one of my wonderful clients, fear not, I will have all the regular normal operations up and running, and you shouldn’t notice a thing.

See you soon. Miss your face.

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I ordered the Deluxe Edition of “Med sud i eyrum vid spilum endalaust”, I got my download, I even got my physical, and then months went by. You sent me emails to let me know the LP was going out soon. I sent you an email to let you know my shipping info had changed, and if you could amend it, you replied that my order had been amended (I still have the email). I still am waiting, I still am wondering if I will ever get it, I still am a little bit annoyed that I have to be typing this.

Please contact me and let’s get this sorted out. I will invade Iceland if need be (mostly because it’s absolutely gorgeous, but if it helps this cause too, bonus).

Thank you.

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Currently the Associated Press is upset that an image that they hold the rights to was the basis for Shep’s illustration. They want license fees, and profit, and credit, and probably one of his children. The issue is actually pretty interesting in terms of copyright law. However frankly this case has no legs, and I’m surprised the AP is this hard up for cash (though no one in the newspaper world is exactly thriving).

The AP owns the image, they don’t own the moment in time the image was taken.

Fairey started with their image, and then he applied his now famous illustrative style. He didn’t simply threshold the thing in Photoshop, he didn’t auto-trace something in Illustrator. His work is no different than someone painting the image in a cubsim styling. Copyright simply doesn’t protect deviations in such things. Someone at AP has to know such things. If anyone should be able to claim rights to deviations based on photographs, it should be the person in the imagery. Kind of funny how they get no share of the AP’s licensing fees.

Anyway, that is my take on this whole thing, and I really hope Shep doesn’t back down or make a settlement. He deserves to stand alone as the source of such iconic imagery, and he is just the right person to stick it to the old media.

Also if I may rant…
I find it hilarious how the old media has talked about him as this “L.A. street artist”, like he is some ruffian who slums through streets stealing bread and spreading wheat paste wherever he goes. Do they not understand the guy went to THE premiere design school in America (RISD), do they not understand the guy owns his own clothing line, do they not understand the guy’s first studio he formed is responsible for such things as the Mt. Dew logo and the Mozilla logo, do they not understand his current studio is responsible for the “Walk The Line” poster and the cover art for The Smashing Pumpkins comeback album? This is no “street artist”, this is one of our generations most heralded graphic designers, this guy will be included along names like Bass, Lubalin, Rand, Glaser, Carson and Sagmeister.

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THE 20.5:

1. I get Deja Vu… a lot. Usually about feeling like I’m getting Deja Vu. (If you follow me on Twitter, you now have Deja Vu!)
2. The best Death Cab For Cutie album is “The Photo Album” end of discussion, this fact also known as “Lindsay lies”.
3. My first concert ever was The Beach Boys, 4th of July, 1984, National Mall, District of Columbia.
4. The only computer I have ever had in my home (from a child on) has been made by Apple.
5. I recently hung up artwork on the walls of my place after living here 4 years.
6. I have had this strange quest to be “mysterious” for years (less is more, right?), the best response was from the girl I was dating (at the onset of said quest) which was… laughter.
7. My wallet is bigger than yours.
8. Some people have magazine subscriptions, I have a Quarterly subscription, a DVD subscription, and a book clup subscription. I heart MCSWNYS.
9. I have a long standing addiction to WB/CW shows I should have no part loving. It started with “The Creek”, and has included “Smallville”, “Veronica Mars”, and “Gossip Girl”.
10. There isn’t much that is better than a fresh loaf of Boudin’s sourdough bread.
11. I played Lacrosse and Ice Hockey in High School, in San Diego, CA. I was a New Englander at heart I guess.
12. Speaking of New England: I have always had a fascination with JFK, I love the Red Sox, I hate the Patriots, I love Boston.
13. I unabashedly love pop music, of all types, that other people try to pretend isn’t pure hits.
14. As a kid (11-15ish), I couldn’t fall asleep to anything but the radio. Not a CD even. I had to hear a talking voice at some point or else my mind would spin into a labyrinth of thoughts on life and death.
15. I firmly believe I could save entire companies if they would just consult me on everything they do.
16. I tend to get infatuated with girls from far away cities, okay infatuated might be putting it lightly.
17. I’m horrible at filing, but quite organised.
18. I should mention, I use the Queen’s English whenever possible.
19. Almost all of my family teach, at one point I was going to fall in line as well, but wound up a designer. Lately I have the desire to be the jaded professor at Art School who: tells everyone their projects are horrible, everyone hates but realises years later was vital to their succes (i.e. Winter Sorbeck).
20. I’m great at buying old cameras, I’m horrible at buying new film.
20 1/2. I hate committing to making plans, except… (How else am I supposed to make a half fact?)

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I have spent all morning listening to them, and demanding others do the same.

Jack’s Broken Heart (true story, i never realised the Fight Club reference until 2 months ago) was an amazing 4 piece. Their EP “Against Forgetting” was amazing, go buy it on iTunes. I saw this band play a ton, with Jimmy Eat World, Counterfeit, et al, and it was great. They won the 2001 San Diego Music Award for best Alternative, beating out The Album Leaf, Black Heart Procession and Tristeza (I told you SD had a developing scene at the time). I later had the privilege of becoming friends with their drummer David, who is now in a band called The Little Ones (with ex-Sunday’s Best) that you should also check out.

Dewey Defeats Truman is a band that I came to know about through my own lame attempts at rock stardom. I was in a band, I will never mention more than it’s mere existence, because it was horrible. So anyway I was over at the Guitar Center (old one over on El Cajon Blvd.) one day, doing something, or buying something, and had this random conversation with this guy who was the singer for DDT. He was a pretty interesting guy and super nice, so I went over to Music Trader and picked up whatever I could find. That was “B-Sides, Rarities, and Out-Takes” and it was a great pick up. I don’t think I have the physical disc of this anymore, but somehow it has managed to stay on my computer all those years. I don’t think you can find this album, but they released an EP later that is still up on Amazon.

Enjoy.

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Or go catch them on tour with some band nobody has ever heard of… Fall Out Boy.

Speaking of bands you should listen to, MySpace, me name dropping friends of mine in NYC, and what I’m listening to right now: Another wonderful friend Frank got me hooked on this band More Amor. Their track “Young Hollywood” will be stuck in my head for 3 weeks, at the least. I recommend buying the album off iTunes, because I did, and it would do you some good to be more like me.

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Here is a brilliant interactive look at how the Zip Code system works.

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The man has musical performers on his show and doesn’t hold up the CD, he holds up vinyl. Gorgeous, circles of black, grooves of uncompressed, vinyl.
And it’s not just once in a while

It’s always.

It must be show policy. I wonder if a band is allowed to play if they can’t get the vinyl there? I wonder if he loves Squeeze’s “Singles” on vinyl as much as I do. Scotch & Squeeze, that’s all you need.

In related news, will someone sell me a record player. I’m sick of losing bids on ebay.

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Most of my clients are actually some of the greatest people ever, so I’m pretty fortunate in this one. However, I have in the past encountered these people, and I suppose someone had to take over their design work when I moved on, so this is for you, whomever you are.

And those clients.

Credit

In general I think this is something most people should be familiar with, designers are used more and more, and I think it’s still one of the largest growing professions. Chances are you may hire a designer, and chances are, you may not be familiar with the status quo. People really don’t understand what it’s like to be making a living designing, they think it’s some novelty, like you must do something real for a living and thus they can treat the whole relationship as a hobby. Some of the ways I have seen clients treat designers is just mind boggling and wouldn’t fly in any other industry. In reality all these things are just good business, why some people choose bad business, that one is still a mystery to me.

P.S. I read somewhere recently how overused of a literary device the one line paragraph was, so of course I made it my goal to use it more. Hence, you will be seeing it a lot. Will this be the end of my run on sentences, could be, but probably not, I mean why would I want to do that when I could just combine the two for even more amazing played out incorrectness?

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That there is the cover of The Guardian’s G2 section that ran earlier in the week. One of my favourite people on earth David Carson did the design, and inside is a multitude of other designers takes on POTUS Obama’s speeches. Nice little feature for the design geek and/or political dork.

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I have a great hope in this country, and in this President, as we; continue to do the hard things, constantly be asked to do the impossible, be the example for the diverse world we live in, and do all these things with grace and humility. I am incredibly proud to be able to call this country my home.

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60-something degrees.

My head felt like it was 80-something. Now I’m no scientist, but I think this could be something. So I deduced I had a fever. I refused to medicate myself, and choose to push through. I’m starting to realise this has been going on the past week, and has been what has cut into my productivity lately. I should have realised mid day exhaustion wasn’t normal, but I kind of enjoyed the naps.

So anyway, like a good friend of mine said:

Barney Stinson

“You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be AWESOME instead. True story.”

So this little nugget of Awesome comes in handy on days like today.

And yes, I realise Barney is a character, but if you met my friends you would know some fiction is clearly taking a cue from my reality.

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Anyway Taylor Momsen who plays Jenny (who regularly steals scenes and is pretty much a lock for her own spin off, duh), was recently caught running from the Paparazzi. I know it’s a viral ad for NIke, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome.

Okay, I’m gonna go back to work and try to pretend I just didn’t gush on my Blog about Gossip Girl.

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My good friend Brandon Chamberlain works with an artist named Jeremy Larson who makes some pretty spectacular music himself, and will be sitting in with MuteMath on the keys tonight as they play Leno. If their other late night performances were a sign, this will be another can’t miss.

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Nice to see Yahoo! pushing it’s reach and offering up an amazingly useful webapp for free. Well done Y!.

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Sidenote: I once told a girl who I was dating, or had dated, or was going to date (I’m really not sure the time period in it all) that I was working on being mysterious, she laughed at me. She was right.

So if you are up to be a part of something that may require a few minutes of your time now and again, possibly a postage stamp, and will make 2009 better (or at the least more interesting) shoot me an email (you should have it) and include your postal address.

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1. Queen Latifah.
2. The whole, “high five the people as you go to the mic” thing.
3. Kid Rock over Coldplay.
4. The constant “Obama won the election” references. Like the actors did anything.
5. Ellen over Letterman.
6. Robin Williams.
7. Two And A Half Men.
8. Everything else, except The Dark Knight.

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So anyway, in May I returned a 5 month old email to John and he only waited 6 months to reply to me. Way to out do me, John. I’m really horrible at getting back to those kind of emails, because I feel like I can’t just fire off 3 sentences like I can with family and friends I see all the time, so I hold no ill will. John let me know about a project he had recently compelted after teaching himself how to screenprint. The concept was a series of art prints that represent each state as a plate of food. I think it came out pretty spectacular, of course it will be 6 months until I let John know that, but for now check out his work. The United Plates.

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I enjoyed a lovely holiday back “home” (Long Beach is home to me, but San Diego gets jealous when I say that) in San Diego, five-ish full days of family, friends and homemade cookies. My last few weeks of work had been slammed full of work (thanks all), and the time away was a great recharge. New Years was approaching and instead of being lame and doing nothing, we threw a last minute party. The flyer was probably the best part, but we had a pretty epic time all the same. I invented a new drink that night, and drank far too much of it, leaving me a little hurting New Years Day down in the OC. I hate people who say “the OC”, slash myself. Watched some football, played some poker, drank to cure the hangover and had some of the best chili ever made, then we ended the night with “Frost Nixon”:, great film.

The holidays, as they are known, were great, and I am endlessly thankful to have the amazing people in my life that I do. I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate you all.

Somehow in the middle of all that craziness above the Chargers made the playoffs, so this past weekend I trekked back down (stopping in HB to play some football myself) for what was one of the best games I have ever seen. I was so fortunate to see that game in person, what a start to the New Year. Sunday I went and saw “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” with my Mother, I was a little nervous of how this would be adapted. I had heard some things that essentially made it sound like “The Notebook” and “Forrest Gump” were starring in a “Brad Pitt is rebuilding the ninth ward” infomercial, then I saw it and cried like a little old man baby. They nailed the potential this story has, and Pitt once again impresses. Everyone should see this and love it, but then again I do love “The Notebook”.

In the middle of all those things I also made a server switch (still MT, just a new version of the DV along with PHP5, finally), put up a few new websites (splash pages) for various friends and a few of my various projects and hung up a ton of art around the place.

I hope everyone else enjoyed some time with friends and family (or locked up avoiding them), whatever you needed the past weeks, and is looking forward to where 2009 can take us.

Oh, did you hear?
Yes we did.

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Best Songs of 2008
1. Third Eye Blind – Red Star
2. Mike Dunn And The Kings Of New England – The Edge Of America*
3. The Jealous Sound – Got Friends
4. The Summer Set – …In Color
5. Coldplay – Prospekt’s March

My only real commentary on this is that people should put out more EP’s. Start an EP label, something.

*This may have not come out in 2008, I may not care about silly facts like that.

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Best Songs of 2008
1. Augustana – Sweet And Low
2. Gavin Rossdale – Love Remains The Same
3. Mates Of State – The Re-Arranger
4. My Favorite Highway – Getaway Car
5. Jack’s Mannequin – The Resolution
6. Estelle (ft. Kanye West) – American Boy
7. Katy Perry – Hot N’ Cold
8. Kanye West – Heartless
9. Coldplay – Viva La Vida
10. All-American Rejects – Another Heart Calls

Running Commentary (with no care in the world for grammar) follows:
I still stand by the statement I made after my second listen of “Sweet And Low”, which was something along the lines of it being the best song the band has ever written, and for those of you that know me know how Augustana’s “Boston” affects me, so that is really saying something. Gavin Rossdale renewed my faith in him in one single, single. You probably haven’t heard the My Favorite Highway song, but you should, it should be huge if that album ever gets a proper push. I’m not sure how many times this year I was standing in a booth at a club singing “American Boy”, but it was a lot. The late pushes this year were made by Kanye’s second single, and a song that probably won’t be a single by AAR, but it’s gorgeous.

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Best Albums of 2008
1. Coldplay – Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends
2. The New Frontiers – Mending
3. Katy Perry – One Of The Boys
4. My Favorite Highway – How To Call A Bluff
5. Augustana – Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt
6. Kanye West – 808s & Heartbreak
7. Denison Witmer – Carry The Weight
8. Girl Talk – Feed The Animals
9. Death Cab For Cutie – Narrow Stairs
10. We The Kings – We The Kings

I know my list is full of lame pop albums, I know it’s not as cool as your list with Vampire Weekend, Kings of Leon and Bon Iver. I realise my lameness in full, it’s who I am, I love pop music. All those great indie bands write some brilliant songs, but rarely do I ever find myself with a hook stuck in the head that can only be cured by singing along to hits like I do these artists listed above. Forgive me, all the indie hits blend together into an un-craved mass of great music that lies un-played in my iTunes.

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The stats this year are in, and I had an incredibly lucky year. I am in 4 Fantasy Football leagues. In the two leagues that have divisions I won both, finished first in one division-less league and second in the other. I didn’t really do as well as that sounds though, most of those were last minute runs to win the divisions the last week of the regular season.

Somehow I managed to make it to the Championship in all 4 games, which is pretty much unheard of, this is a game of 90% luck. So it’s off to the finals I go, where I will probably be losing 2/4 or something (hey, it’s no naked man).

Surely in a few weeks I will be suffering fantasy withdrawals, but I think I have an idea for a Super Fantasy 2009 league that incorporates players from every sport in the year. Who is in?

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Today one of Brad’s site is featured as Communication Arts Webpicks. It’s the site he worked on for Wind-Up Records, I’ve gushed about this site ever since it went live, and I think it’s the first time in ages that a website has really struck me as perfectly executed and innovative. It’s what the web should be.

Anyway, everyone should go check it out if you haven’t yet.

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Two Pacific Northwest film makers decided to start experiencing the life their cat lives. It’s becoming an ongoing project tht has garnered a bunch of press, and more importantly has returned some absolutely gorgeous photographs.

You can check out the Flickr of the Cat Cam here.

Sadly I may have to contend that anyone with a camera really is a photographer.

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The other day Kyle and I were sitting around talking about our distaste for NASCAR and distaste for the Detroit bailout. Let’s face it, the only people to blame for the Big Three failing are the people in charge, the people who put them in charge, and the people who allowed them to be in charge with huge salaries while losing money.

A brilliant idea then hit. What if NASCAR (which is called “stock car racing”) actually started using stock cars. We have all these cars sitting around not being sold, and yet these companies are spending millions to run “stock” cars around ovals. Throw a few out there fresh from the factory, show us how safe they really are, show us the true performance, show us what you want to sell.

NASCAR would gain 2 more fans, and Detroit could write off the 3-4 cars they crash (per team) every week at the track.

“Dude, we just saved Detroit”

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PLEASE NOTE: We are not looking for a college student or hobbyist or a social networker who stays up all night and surfs the Internet with their friends and designs graphics out of their bedroom for t-shirts. ONLY PROFESSIONALS SHOULD APPLY.

Now I’m not simply being defensive because I’m writing this from the same room as my bed (though this side of the room is clearly business only), but that whole combination of words is just so out of touch with reality. I know some of the most talented designers around, and almost every one of them designs graphics for t-shirts out of their bedroom, surfs the internet with friends and stays up all night. Artists tend to not exactly live the 9-5 office lifestyle, and you would think anyone wanting a truly talented designer would realise that.

Good luck with your production artist, nameless medical company.

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Here is the wrap-up:
I was sick for a good solid 2 weeks, most of it came from breathing pure ash from some of the lovely fires in Southern California, I finally recovered the week of Thanksgiving, but was way behind on work (thank you to everyone whose project was delayed, your grace is wonderful).

I got back on the ball and wrapped a ton of stuff up the past 2 weeks, including a 3 day trek to San Diego to see family/friends whom I love, and a 2 day trek to AZ to ride along with Tell as he played ASU. It was all great, and we officially decided AZ may be the best food state ever. Think about it, they get the west coast (In-N-Out, Del Taco, etc) and the Middle America (Waffle House, Chick-Fil-A, Sonic) along with other random things from states far off. Put a White Castle out there and my vote is in.

I just wrapped up William Tell’s MySpace the other day, if you haven’t been by lately he has quite a few new songs up that you should listen to. This little project was a fun nightmare. Lots of work overwriting MySpace and figuring out stupid little one line code issues, but it’s only the first time that this will kill me.

Also not too long back I finally got up a semblance of a website for Department Three. I have been promising this for years, and now finally some of my recent work is up to view at the studios site.

I’m working on a ton of other things, filing away files, getting caught up on emails, do if you are wondering why I haven’t replied to something, be patient. In the works are a few websites, some branding work, and a few more MySpace re-designs.

In other news, my friends at Hozell are having a warehouse sale this weekend. It’s today and tomorrow, and it also includes WeSC another great brand I’m a huge fan of. Info is on the MySpace linked there (because they didn’t want to put it on their MySpace?), and i’ll be there in a few minutes. If you are in LA/OC you should head down and hang.

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You see, in what many are claiming to be the cliffs of calamity in Detroit, their CEO’s all flew private jets over to D.C. for these meetings. I sure want my tax dollars going towards that. I know a lot of peoples jobs in Michigan, and a lot of other states that are home to suppliers, are at stake here, and I want this to turn out well for all those hard working people. However, this is not the case of this economy causing a dangerous situation for Detroit, but this economy presenting an easy escape from years of screwing up.

Gary Ackerman (D – Queens)

“Couldn’t you all have downgraded to first class? Or jet-pooled? It would have at least sent the message that you do get it.”

For years I have had issues with the U.S. auto manufacturers. They pay their CEO’s ridiculous amounts for constant failures, they took years and years to adopt green vehicles, they were blind to the fact that Toyota was doing innovative things and balancing their product offerings. These companies should all fire their entire management and hire a few Harvard Business graduates that can think in modern times. I know, I use that plan for everything, but why do people think that the leaders of companies who have come up in the old way and fail will succeed somewhere else? When will there be discrimination laws about companies having to interview 2 candidates under 40?

The current CEO’s also turned down a gesture of good will that was brought up to them. When asked if they would take a symbolic $1 salary, much like Lee Iaccoca did years ago to help revive Chrysler, Ford and GM’s CEO’s said no. GM’s Wagoner took home 14 million last year; Ford’s Mulally grabbed a cool 22 million. For the record, Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli said he would take the $1 a year salary, but it was reported in 2007 that his salary would be $1 a year and then incentive based, so he is (and kinda isn’t) doing his part. Nardelli also is probably still living nice off that 201 million severance he got from Home Depot.

The U.S. “Big Three” in the past 3 years combined for 67 billion in losses, and it’s just the economy, right? I’m gonna spell this out for any Fortune 500 board members than might accidentally happen across my blog. No one, and I mean no one, is worth 15 million dollars a year. I don’t care who they are, or what they are doing, it CAN NOT be considerably more than the level of work you would get out of a person being paid 2 million. Give your CEO’s profit sharing all you want, I have no issues with that, but no base salary deserves to be that high.

You want to save these companies? Here is how. If you are a stockholder, write in your unhappiness with the board and CEO, the two public companies ARE accountable to all you millions of shareholders who have been fleeced in your stock value and owe it to you to stop spending money they don’t have. Cerberus should be able to figure out this thing for their own and save Chrysler, or sell it off in pieces to one of the Japanese auto makers. That is the other reality, Toyota or Honda can jump in the game and purchase on of these failing companies, though we may all be better off in a world without the original “Big Three”.

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Because of such celebratory events I am bringing you free music. From two different places.

Firstly, a lot of my time has been spent working on a few projects for William Tell, and part of that pile is up on the internet today. Right here, if you sign up you get a free song, and lot’s more to come. It’s a new marketing device that we have dubbed, “bribery”. The song is called “Gone Gone Gone” and it has some great Paul Simon moments in it.

Secondly, a lot of the rest of my time is spent talking to the one and only Chad Pearson. He has a record label, and they give you free music. He is currently living in a red state, but let’s look past that for a moment. FREE MUSIC! Okay, so yeah, his label sampler is now up for free on Amazon MP3. It features some great artists whom I truly love, and is just the right kind of mood for Fall days (Not that I know what Fall is like). A little more mature sound blasting from your windows, a little more proof you are cooler than people think.

So enjoy the music, and the new President, and if I could give away this for free I would.

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That’s right, 7-11 did their own polls, and they predict a huge sweep for Obama. The greatest part of this map is how they just leave out a bunch of states no one cares about. Ha. If he actually won that large of the popular vote, he could beat out the all time record of the popular vote, held by… you guessed it… Warren G. Harding. I must add for truthiness, that there are ZERO 7-11′s to be found in Arizona, I tried one summer, drove into like 7 towns, it’s Circle K’s only.

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E.E. Cummings

“The only man, woman or child who wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.”

Anyway, relate Harding to whomever you feel applicable right now, but since I randomly wound up on this tangent, I wanted to tell you why Harding really sucked. The President before Harding? Woodrow Wilson. The President after Harding? Calvin Coolidge. The one after that? Herbert Hoover. Harding broke up the only chance we ever had for a four President run with double letter initials. Why couldn’t he have been named Harry Harding?

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It’s hard to really write out my formula for Obama, I don’t necessarily think it’s about his stance on this small issue or that small issue, I think it’s more powerful than that. Some people like to call basing decisions on feeling or emotion and not the issues ignorant, but I am not voting issues. I’m voting for the person that has changed this country already, just through their campaign, I’m voting for the guy whose platform is “Hope”, is “Change”.

Anyway, on the internets I found this great article explaining the Obama “effect” on another personal level. This echoes so many thoughts that I have I had to share it. It may not make sense to everyone to vote for someone “on a hunch”, but I think it’s just about as good as basing it off propaganda and lies.

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If you loved The Jealous Sound’s other 2 releases, you need this. If you loved Knapsack, you need this. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, start here, you need this. This may be the last we hear of them, or it may not.

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For those of you not in the know:

Google Gears

Gears is an open source project that enables more powerful web applications, by adding new features to your web browser:

Go get you some, right here.

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After my moment of jubilation, and my pestering Tell about his Obama 08 BlackBerry application (or lack there of), came the most perfect reply ever.

Tell

“I hear John McCain is coming out with one for a NEXTEL.”

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To wrap up my thoughts on the baseball season, I thought we would go to Ralph Nader for a comment.

Ralph Nader, after he’d been told by Washington Post editors that the lack of coverage of his presidential campaign was because he had no chance of winning:

“Then why are you covering the Nationals?”

Best thing ever, thank you Ralph, thank you Nationals for losing 3 more games than the Padres.

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Earlier today on the news I was watching a local report on WaMu and a reporter was getting the “word on the street” from the customers. Multiple customers had no idea WaMu failed yesterday, one even decided not to go in and deposit a cheque in his account. Pretty surprising how uninformed someone can be about what is happening in the country right now, and even more shocking that they don’t know their financial protections.

The greatest moment of this piece came when the reporter had talked to one customer who had gone into the branch last week and met with the Manager. He demanded to know “what was going on with all of this and what he should know”. The Manager replied with the following, “Everything is fine, don’t believe all that stuff that is out there, WaMu is as solid as a rock”.

Rocks do sink to the bottom.

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Computerworld

Several digital images that Microsoft Corp. has posted on its Web site to trumpet its new “I’m a PC” advertising campaign were actually created on Macs, according to the files’ originating-software stamp.

Four of the images that Microsoft made available on its PressPass site today display the designation “Adobe Photoshop C3 Macintosh” when their file properties are examined. The images appear to be frames from the television ads that Microsoft will launch later today.

This one just makes me giggle over and over and over.

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They let me out no problem, didn’t say a word to me, didn’t get my statement, didn’t tell me anything when I went to meet Kyle (who was not allowed in, and was told it would be an hour or so). So we went to grab some food, Alondra Wings, and it was delicious. Coca Cola with crunch ice makes you forget your street is on complete lock down. We headed back, a little over an hour later, walked up to an officer, and were informed that it “could be 10 hours”, “he can’t do anything”, and “the street is blocked of”. This guy was a genius, and a classic case of an officer of the law, who is paid to protect and serve the public (and paid by my tax dollars) treating the public with no respect at all. I asked if we could talk to his Sergeant, he made no effort to find out and told us “he was too busy”, and “all the officers on the scene were too busy doing their jobs to talk to”.

The intel we already had on the scene was that a body was found, and that it was possibly a baby in the alley. A tragic event completely, but we also thought it wasn’t too ridiculous for us to be allowed back into our house. So we set off to find a way in. We tried a chimney climb up to the roof, using a light next to the building, it was unsuccessful so we set off on foot so scope the perimeter. We hit the west perimeter first, Kyle had established a repertoire with these guys already and we tried to get a gauge on how long it would be that we would not be allowed in. These wonderful officers told us we should head to the south perimeter, as that was closer to the command center. Yes, there is a command center a few hundred feet from me right now. Choppers too, roaring overhead as I type.

At the south perimeter we found a uniformed officer and I flipped on the charm, the same charm I refused to show to attitude filled north perimeter guy, and stated that we “understood they have to investigate and understand everything, but it’s not that ridiculous that we be allowed into our home”. He told us that he was told simply “no one can come in”, and I pressed on asking if we could just speak to someone else. Well apparently “The Sarge” was fond of us, because once the officer actually got him, he told us we were all good to enter at the north perimeter and that he already called in to let them know we were allowed.

Upon reaching the north perimeter, we were apologized to, and walked in. We aren’t sure when we will be able to leave, but for now we are in.

UPDATE: Here is a news story on the investigation.

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Before I start posting videos that make John McCain look silly, understand I LOVE John McCain, he has fought for some amazing things in his life (this country being one of them) and has brought about some great change. I also would have voted for this man 4 or 8 years ago, but now it is too late. I fear he has lost a lot of his edge, I fear he isn’t completely relevant anymore (for a lack of a better word). The world has changed, politics needs to change, I don’t necessarily want someone leading this country towards new relationships with the rest of the world with the experience of an old world and old politics. Sorry.

John McCain speaking on the economy.

“These are very, very difficult times.”
“The fundamentals of our economy are strong”

John, seriously? I threw that first quote in so it wouldn’t look like I was pulling out only the negative from his statement. He also acknowledges these are very difficult times, awesome, he can see the obvious. What everyone misses about this financial crisis is the fundamentals of our economic structure are what are most wrong. Whether we talk about the fundamentals that allow finance sector businesses government aid or golden umbrellas for the CEO’s of failing corporations, the fundamentals are what led us here. For years things went under regulated, Greenspan kept coming out to see his shadow every few months, CEO’s took risk after risk because they have nothing to lose (to read a great article on this topic, head over to my good friend Mark Cuban’s blog) and millions to pocket if they are fired, and our society became speculators who react more to media coverage than to actual trends. Those things combined (leadership of financial sector jobs, regulation of the businesses that drive our economy, the Government control of interest rates and funds, investor confidence and competence) are pretty much the fundamentals of our economy. Any one of those things changes and it affects the economy in huge drastic swoops, all of them change at once and we get to where we are today.

After John McCain’s campaign then put out an ad that said “The economy is in crisis”, Matt Lauer (and all of us) needed an explanation.

John McCain on The Today Show
“Well it’s obviously true that the workers of America are the fundamentals of our economy, and our strength, and our future.”

“There is nothing wrong with the workers of America, I believe they are the fundamentals”

Sure those quotes sound bad out of context, but that last one up there sounds even worse when you hear where Lauer is trying to lead him before he says that. Lauer gives McCain a complete chance to make the statement about “the fundamentals causing the nightmares we are seeing” in the economy, and McCain just clings on to the fact that the workers are the fundamentals.

A lot of people always bring up flip-flopping politicians, and I’m sure McCain is grasping to not look like he flip-flops on his statements. However it also makes him look unintelligent and stubborn, and makes him look like someone who cannot find advisors to keep him up to date on relevant topics. I hated the fact the Kerry flip-flopped so much 4 years ago, but what I hated even more about Kerry was that the person he was as a Presidential Candidate was a dumbed down, manipulated version of the man who stood proudly speaking in protest of the Vietnam War. McCain is starting to look like a shell of his former self as well, John, come out and say you see the things fundamentally wrong with our economy, come out and say you are learning to use a computer, stop being so afraid of a little change, be it of mind, opinion or technology.

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The Huffington Post

Former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan offered a woeful outlook of America’s economic situation on Sunday, saying the crisis with the country’s financial institutions was as dire as he had ever seen in his long career, and predicting that one or more of those institutions would likely collapse in the near future.

“Oh, by far,” Greenspan said, when asked if the situation was the worst he had seen in his career. “There’s no question that this is in the process of outstripping anything I’ve seen and it still is not resolved and still has a way to go and, indeed, it will continue to be a corrosive force until the price of homes in the United States stabilizes. That will induce a series of events around the globe which will stabilize the system.”

Alan Greenspan covered all the topics, except the fact that he is pretty much single handedly responsible for what is happening to our economy currently, but hey that isn’t really important right?

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P.S. Go to hell Pacey.

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As a bonus to all of you who like good music. A new song, from the genius that is Gasoline Heart. You are all welcome.

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This is for you. Holiday Parade presents “Slam Crunk”, the newest in a bunch of white guys remixing through guitars and instruments to bring you a jewel of pop goodness. It’s free to download at PureVolume, so do it.

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I bugged just about every person I know who works in design/programming, and I thank you all for your amazing knowledge filled response of “yeah, I dunno, that’s weird”. Seriously, you people really are aces, all kidding aside.

So the blog is back, the google warnings should come down soon, and as a bonus prize I brought…

Twitter Updates Back! Weekly digest, which is what I wanted to begin with. Dollar, dollar bills y’all.
Enjoy.

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Just head over to Joel’s blog to see the video.

I have a newsflash “peaceful protestors” of Denver, the moment you left the park (where coincidentally the law enforcement had no issue with you) and started marching down roads made, not for people to march down, but for automobiles to drive down; the moment you started moving at law enforcement; the moment you were yelling aggressively; the moment you were running to find a new street to clog; you were no longer peaceful. You assembled, it was fine, and you could have stayed their with your signs and nonsense, but you chose marching. It’s funny, in California, I’m not allowed to cross a street in a downtown city unless I use a cross walk, but these people believe they should be able to randomly march down the entire street?

I wish people in this country would realise they don’t have the right to “march down the fucking street”. I wish people would not try to spin the fact that they declined to use the approved protest areas that were set up so a city could function while people would still be able to protest. I wish people would not spin the fact that due to their selfish act of marching down a street wherever they wanted with 2000 of their closest friends they are making other peoples lives miserable and delaying them from getting to/from work and going about their lives. I wish people protesting aggressively and yelling at law enforcement would stop acting like they weren’t hoping to be maced.

Protests are so futile, it’s one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. Protesting is about the same to me as wearing an American flag pin on your lapel. Up front, you made this big show, and you can talk to your friends about how involved you are in changing politics, but in the end you have done nothing. Get out and do something, call people, write letters, run for office, find us a better option and help get them elected; don’t just wave a sign and act like you are making any sort of impact besides trying to get your so-called movement a little press. The press who feeds off drama and has probably pushed more people towards this sort of thing with it’s choice of what gets covered, and it will get covered for that day, yet protestors think the press will suddenly stop ignoring the issues that they help our government perpetuate in the days that follow. There are so many countless ways better to bring change to the world.

I have seen firsthand for 2 years the kind of recklessness these protests bring with them, and those were formally organised city approved protests through Downtown Los Angeles. On one of these occassions I couldn’t even go into work because the traffic re-routing simply couldn’t get me to my office.

I’m pretty sure at some point people need to use some common sense and realise there are other tax paying citizens who might have issue with their lives being disrupted by a street full of people marching.

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I love Heroes, it’s probably my favourite show on television (though HIMYM is pretty even), but this whole thing really is ridiculous. I guess it’s what happens when you can’t use union actors and union directors and union writers and union key grips and union catering.

Go ahead, watch the webisodes of Heroes.

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Anyway, the text said…

AT&T & Apple

“An important software update for iPhone 3G has been available on iTunes since this past Monday,” the message reads. “To get it, simply sync your iPhone 3G with iTunes and click the ‘Check for Update’ button.”

I updated on Monday afternoon, and of course I found no change to the performance of my phone. Kind of interesting that they would be so persistent about an update if it wasn’t supposed to be the fix.

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It’s an exciting and challenging time, and I will surely be hitting up each and every one of my friends about anyone you might know who could be my next client. It’s tough out here in the design game, but so refreshing to be scrambling over something and having to sling my trade everywhere I go.

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I was recently listening to a few older records, and started remembering these amazingly vivid memories about where I was the first time I heard it, or the 3392382th time it spun through my CD player, and felt I would share. I think I may do this regularly, it’s quite fun.

These are the memories invoked by a collection of songs that hold a correlation of a specific trip or location.

The Get Up Kids – Something To Write Home About – Lake Havasu City, AZ

It was a random stop at a Music Trader before a trip to Havasu, and this album soon became the soundtrack of that trip, played over and over and over. TGUK had never terribly captured my ears until this album, and it was an album that was bought against the recommendation of a friend, going with pure instinct. Instinct was right.

No Use For A Name – More Betterness – Grossmont Ctr. Dr, La Mesa, CA

I purchased this the same day as TGUK – STWHA, it was a more obvious choice to me as No Use was a pretty common listen for me. This record was disliked by a lot of NUFAN fans, but it still is my favourite. The direction they took, the downright emo-ness of this record, was absolutely the perfect evolution for my musical tastes. It was poppy, it still had edge, it was smart, yet it was still punk. These were days of CD players in cars, and scratches getting the best of the most played. One day on the way to surf Abs (or maybe it was Subs) the unplayable-ness of this CD at the hands of it’s scratches caused me to fling it into the street. That was a horrible decision, and I regretted it 3 seconds after I had done it.

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I realised this was too great not to share with the world, so here it is, minus most of my personal info.

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When I was watching the first episode and saw the typography they used I was pretty taken. It does a brilliant job of capturing what the mood of the show is. It’s rough around the edges, but has a certain order to it’s madness. I thought it was great how they created something with a very solid familiarity without going the route of some played out font we have seen too many times.

Then today I was listening to K-Rock NY on my iPhone (through AOL Radio) and I noticed something interesting…

No longer did we have an original and unique font. Now did someone rip off the other someone in this case? Probably not. It’s probably the case of 2 entities finding a font that actually fits their “brand” quite well, it’s just a shame they both come to light in a similar moment. Now you might be thinking, “Aren’t you being a little too harsh on people for using the same font? Don’t people do that all the time?” And you are right, it happens, but it usually is avoided by most designers when it is such a kitschy type font. If I had seen these both without seeing the other, I probably would think both were wonderful choices and original type creations, but I can’t change the facts, and I think the designers working on those projects should have spent a little more time on the font choice/execution.

Anyone else remember a case of a very memorable, kitschy, stock font was used for two brands around the same time? The last one I can think of was the Spiderman/Playstation 3 font, which at least both were Sony properties.

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Sounds like all is well out around the epicenter, and there is no damage reported.

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Just thought I would fill you all in on some places my photos are appearing lately. Thanks to all the people who let me capture their souls on electronics.

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He will be reading from his book “What It Is: What It Is” and Filter Magazine is presenting the events, so it should be quite a wonderful literary event. Check out Flavorpill if you are in LA or NYC for all the event info.

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The Register

That dream? To produce a desktop more beautiful to ordinary users than legions of Apple programmers supping on the milk of chief exec Steve Jobs’ alleged brilliance are capable of producing.

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Well I decided to go ahead and fill everyone in on what I would be contributing to the show. I take a lot of pictures, it’s a big part of my life. However I’m not one of those people who shows up everywhere with my Canon and looking kind of weird trying to take pictures of everything I see in my life. I miss more good picture opportunities than I take good pictures, but for the first time I will be showing a few of these pictures. 5 images, 30″ x 20″, taken in Boston, MA, Los Angeles, CA and CBGB’s in NYC, NY.

Here they are:

I hope this event is a marvelous success, not for myself, but because the people involved in this, and the other artists contributing are some of the most amazing people I know on this planet. They constantly inspire me, challenge me, and humble me. I am so thrilled to be involved in anything they do.

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So how did I wrap up an utterly amazing week? Well, first I went down to San Diego and saw my family and celebrated my birthday early. It was a lovely time, and I got in some seriously needed pool time, because being on a river all week is way different angles of sunlight and the tan takes a serious toll.

Heading back home to Long Beach, I was ready to get back to reality. Well that was all thrown afoot on Sunday when we headed out to a little party that wound up being the biggest thing in LA County on Sunday. There were Lions, Tigers, Monkeys, Waterfalls, Margaritas, Old Friends, Amazing New Friends, Long Walks Back To The Car (Or For The Entrepreneurial Sorts Domino’s Car Rides), and Telling People Our Names Were 80′s Band Names (Which Worked Out Well For Todo). It was an absolute amazing time, and did I mention BI happened to have left his bayou home (and was visiting the place that misses him way too much, or maybe just the people do) and made the whole day that much better.

Thanks to everyone who invited us/threw the party, let us not wait in line, poured us beverages, gave me chips, made us smile, and all the rest involved, especially one graceful pizza delivery driver. I am thankful to have the friends I do, and the ridiculous times we get into. Life is good.

As if that run of days couldn’t get any better, early today I purchased a replica, orange, Chad Johnson jersey for far too ridiculously little. Ocho Cinco, check; Man Ram, up next.

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All the prints of my photographs will be 30×20, and I will post the day of the event the pieces that are there, maybe. I’m really excited for everything Chad is doing with Panda, I’m absolutely in love with the musicians he is working with, I’m thrilled to be a part of an art show where my work will be completely showed up by some of the most amazing artists out there today who I am also honoured to call my friends (therefore, such as.

If you are in the Atlanta area, you should make it out to this. I was trying to work out an appearance myself, but I think I will wait until the fall to fully experience the ATL.

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Mark Penxa, interviewed by Uni Watch about the “Stealing Signs” project. Mark and I worked together on a few projects back when I was with TMG, when I say worked together, I mean I took brilliance he did, and probably diluted it. However we had great fun, and still have some pretty amazing email conversations about life. Mark was kind enough to sell me some of the early versions of the “Stealing Signs” project, and they are absolutely moving in person.

Another fun thing to know about Mark and I is that I once tried to commission Mark to paint me a kind of 3 colour tribute to one of my ex-girlfriends. His complete panning of me and such a ridiculous idea proved more therapeutic than anything else had and has on said topic. Moral of that story is that Mark rules, nd I am valued to have him as a friend, and that I am a sap who fortunately has friends who don’t let him do utterly foolish things (most of the time).

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Do you ever get those messages out of the blue on MySpace or Facebook from an old HS (or earlier, or later) friend, whom you truly have some good memories of, and have once over the past 10 years wondered how they are? Yeah, me too.

Here are how they go:

Catching Up

Subject:
Long Time (Or some other vague title about how you haven’t talked in years)
Body:
Hey _________, wow it’s been like __ years since we have _______. How have you been? Are you still __________________? It’s crazy finding all our old __________ on __________________. Did you hear ________________ is ___________________?

I have been _____________, just _____________ and living in __________________. I am really glad I found you, we HAVE to ___________ soon. You have to catch me all up on _________.

And sometimes in there they slide in some guilt trip, like it’s your fault you forgot to get info about the 10 year reunion, or that it’s your fault you never come see them when you go home.

I get these, all the time, and even though a lot of people would assume I would treat then with attitude I am presenting here, I don’t. I love these messages, well used to, I love these people, well used to. I have noticed a strange pattern, and it goes a little something like this (hit me). I will write back, and I write back a well thought out response that I take a portion out of my day to sit down without distractions and write. A couple paragraphs, not much I know, but I do my best to truly try to re-connect with these people.

Then you know what happens? I never get a reply back. Maybe I don’t prod them enough to warrant one, maybe I don’t ask enough questions about _______ being _________, I really don’t know.

I have always been the kind of person who was accepting that there are certain times in your life where people you are close with are meant to leave, and new ones will soon be around; moments like these remind me why those people had their time in my life years ago.

So in conclusion, thanks, but no thanks. If you really care about me, we probably found a way to connect before the MySpaces, Facebooks and LinkedIns of the world were around. I’ve had the same phone number for 6 years, the same email address for 6 years (though be on the lookout, that is changing) and I’ve lived in Los Angeles County for 4 years, if you wanted to catch up or missed those old times, it isn’t hard to find a way. If you are just gonna message me to feel like you fulfilled a good deed by reconnecting with an old friend, and then just not even have the urge to reply even 3 words to a conversation you started, just read my blog and pretend like we are still friends.

Optional Bonus Activity:
Pretend above “Catching Up” conversation is a mad lib, post your most creative version as a comment, and the winner will get a special gift. Oh, and let’s keep it clean, it’s takes zero creativity to turn that thing sexual, it takes genius to come up with clean humour. Remember, this blog is a class act.

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Stop Oil Speculation Now

Our country is facing a possible sharp economic downturn because
of skyrocketing oil and fuel prices, but by pulling together, we can
all do something to help now.

For airlines, ultra-expensive fuel means thousands of lost jobs
and severe reductions in air service to both large and small
communities. To the broader economy, oil prices mean slower activity
and widespread economic pain. This pain can be alleviated, and that
is why we are taking the extraordinary step of writing this joint
letter to our customers.

Since high oil prices are partly a response to normal market
forces, the nation needs to focus on increased energy supplies and
conservation. However, there is another side to this story because
normal market forces are being dangerously amplified by poorly
regulated market speculation.

Twenty years ago, 21 percent of oil contracts were purchased by
speculators who trade oil on paper with no intention of ever taking
delivery. Today, oil speculators purchase 66 percent of all oil
futures contracts, and that reflects just the transactions that are
known. Speculators buy up large amounts of oil and then sell it to
each other again and again. A barrel of oil may trade 20-plus times
before it is delivered and used; the price goes up with each trade
and consumers pick up the final tab. Some market experts estimate
that current prices reflect as much as $30 to $60 per barrel in
unnecessary speculative costs.

Over seventy years ago, Congress established regulations to
control excessive, largely unchecked market speculation and
manipulation. However, over the past two decades, these regulatory
limits have been weakened or removed. We believe that restoring and
enforcing these limits, along with several other modest measures,
will provide more disclosure, transparency and sound market
oversight. Together, these reforms will help cool the over-heated oil
market and permit the economy to prosper.

The nation needs to pull together to reform the oil markets and
solve this growing problem.

We need your help. Get more information and contact Congress by
visiting www.StopOilSpeculationNow.com.

Richard Anderson
CEO
Delta Air Lines, Inc.

Gerard J. Arpey
Chairman, President and CEO
American Airlines, Inc.

Bill Ayer
Chairman, President and CEO
Alaska Airlines, Inc.

Dave Barger
CEO
JetBlue Airways Corporation

Mark B. Dunkerley
President and CEO
Hawaiian Airlines, Inc.

Robert Fornaro
Chairman, President and CEO
AirTran Airways

Timothy E. Hoeksema
Chairman, President and CEO
Midwest Airlines

Lawrence W. Kellner
Chairman and CEO
Continental Airlines, Inc.

Gary Kelly
Chairman and CEO
Southwest Airlines Co.

Douglas Parker
Chairman and CEO
US Airways Group, Inc.

Douglas M. Steenland
President and CEO
Northwest Airlines, Inc.

Glenn F. Tilton
Chairman, President and CEO
United Airlines, Inc.

Do what you can, take a stand; If I rhyme again, I”ll sound like Dylan.

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The first is that next week I will be rafting rivers, yes more than one. So if you also will be rafting any of California’s greatest rivers (the Tuolumne and Kings) let me know, and we can battle our way through rapids together. Something like that. Also if you are the kind of person who needs anything from me, you best start bugging me now, though I will be reachable by the tubes of inter (not innertubes, intertubes).

Second is that Hit The Lights album “Skip School, Start Fights” came out yesterday, and it’s a pretty great Summer pop record. You might need it in your life if you like such things.
RIYL: Cartel, The Starting Line, All-American Rejects

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Happy Hour, The Summer Gin, Superbad Scrabble, Ice Cream Sandwiches, Honey Wheat Pancakes, Realising Every Better Than Ezra Song Is Trying To Be Another Band, PBR, 21-1 Pool Volleyball Games, Beach Boys, Burgers, Fireworks, Cool Runnings, Betting On Olympic Trials, Falling Asleep On Couches, Gin & Tonics, Breakfast Burritos, Red Sox v. Yankees, Poolside Days, Some Of The Best iPod Playlists Ever, Mai Tai’s, Fajitas, Jacuzzi, More Olympic Trials, Falling Asleep On Couches, Being Horrible At Video Games, Leftovers, F1 Races That Look More Like Rally Racing, Falling Asleep On Couches.

Bryan Adams – Summer Of ’69

“Those were the best days of our lives.”

It’s pretty true, even in ’08.

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As you may know, Paul is a writer, not an aspiring writer, a published, reads at cool places you didn’t even know existed, sold at Borders, goes on book tours, working on his second book, writer. Paul asked me to help him with a logo, everyone needs a logo, and I was thrilled to help. He had a pretty solid idea of what he wanted for most of it, so I just cranked out his idea and then Paul and I figured out a few options for the rest, and I think it came out quite lovely. I believe this will be working it’s way to Paul’s website soon, but I think this is the official debut, right here.

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A large movement in support of this law came from a Harvard Center study that everyone and their brother quotes as proof that this law will save lives. I decided to steal a pull from Wired, who ran an article about this law, and feel similarly to myself.

Wired

Studies by the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis (.pdf) suggest 2,600 people are killed and as many as 330,000 people are injured each year in the United States in cellphone-related driving accidents.

The part I really wish Wired would have brought up is as follows; How many of those 2600 people killed and 330,000 injured were in accidents involving bad drivers, speeding drivers, etc.? People don’t like to think about those sorts of things, they like to try to solve problems by eliminating things coincidentally involved. I’m not saying this is a horrible idea, and that it won’t help people to focus on the road, I’m just saying the real problem is the people who don’t focus on the road, not 1 of multiple things they could do that could distract them.

This is much like the logic that if you don’t allow kids to wear certain clothes, they will behave better and be more focused. People should start looking at the cause, to be able to solve the problem they have with the effect. It’s simple physics.

Things still legal to do in the car; put on makeup, shave, make out, wind your watch, read, type, write, search your iPod for “99 Problems” by Jay-Z, hit and/or yell at your kids, search through papers in the backseat, watch DVD’s, etc., etc.

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a href=”http://www.collegehumor.com/videos”>funny videos at CollegeHumor

a

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Now that we have all the title possibilities out of the way.

Just the other night Kyle and I were discussing the ridiculousness of the V-neck. It’s pretty much a plague the likes of Von Dutch hats. Sure the V is comfortable, and shows off all that cool chest hair we have worked years to have, but it doesn’t mean it’s applicable for all moments of life. If you think wearing a Deep V out to social events is a good idea, you should probably just take it to new levels and rock a tank top next time you are heading over to Les Deux (Les Deun’t? Hahaha).

The fine folks at Radar apparently listen to our conversations and decided to write an article about the “Deep V”, I have provided the below image and my favourite pull quote to make your life better.

Radar

So, at least for a little while longer, the question isn’t crewneck versus V-neck, it’s V-neck versus aggressive V-neck. Just be careful how low you go. “It’s getting pretty close to being a vest as it is,” Polk points out. “It’s, like, another three inches and that’s a vest, motherfucker.”

“Aggressive V-neck” may be the best description ever, well that is until you look at this image:

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Now you might be wondering what this has to do with the homeless. Well, last night I decided to go try this Angus burger and get one for free. You might think I got the wonderful idea to give my free one to a homeless person. Well you are half right, I decided to eat half of each of my 2 burgers, and throw the other half away. I know, I am a horrible, wasteful, American. However, afterward I came up with the brilliant idea to feed the homeless on McDonald’s dime.

Basically I am encouraging you, if you are the type to eat burgers (that are nowhere near as good as the ones we cook over at 333) from fast food places, to print out the coupons, eat the McD’s and find someone hungry to toss a burger to. Think of the effect if every person did this once a week until July 31, literally we would have some very gracious and full homeless people (and on there way to clogged arteries, but different story there).

The best part of this whole concept is that it doesn’t end at July 31, or McDonald’s. We get coupons every day from fast food. If you are gonna eat the death that is fast food, look over the coupons, find the buy one get one free, stop worrying about saving yourself money, buy whatever they are offering 2 for 1, and give the free one to someone who is in a less fortunate position. It’s no pay it forward, but it could make a difference, and it costs you nothing.

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This is Remi Gaillard:

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/21/extreme-urban-soccer/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/20/dropbox/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/20/dropbox/#comments Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:38:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=387 I was graciously included on the Dropbox Beta team. Dropbox is a pretty great idea that helps you keep all your files in sync across multiple computers. It has a similiar use to the iDisk function that .Mac users would be familiar with, only it is more focused with keeping the files locally and then mirroring those folders to a server and then push those files to any other computers (as opposed to .Mac where most people have it set up to just connect to the server to get files, though you can select to keep a copy locally).

I have been playing around a bit the last few weeks to see my thoughts on it, and I really have to say it’s absolutely great. If I didn’t already love .Mac (soon to be Me.com/MobileMe), I would definitely be using this service daily. It’s only downfall is the 2GB space, which I am sure once this thing grows (or someone acquires them) will be opened up to 10gb or so. I’m honestly shocked Google hasn’t created something like this years ago, here’s hoping they acquire them, it would be a lovely addition to the Google Apps suite.

Anyway, if you want in on the beta, I have some invites, let me know.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/20/dropbox/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/19/new-world-moral-order/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/19/new-world-moral-order/#comments Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:39:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=363

This is a very interesting map, created by Maurice Gomberg in 1941 (published 1942). Interesting the concepts written along with the map. It’s a shame a 3 branched “world police” couldn’t be established to help the betterment of mankind everywhere. Even if it could have, would it have helped?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/19/new-world-moral-order/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/18/mayer-may-not/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/18/mayer-may-not/#comments Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:45:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=491 Dan Crittenden’s recent twitter post reminded me that I never posted the brilliance that is the following:

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/18/mayer-may-not/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/17/firefox-3/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/17/firefox-3/#comments Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:33:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=386 Does anyone understand why the version of Firefox 3 is “2.0.0.14″? Mozilla, if you are calling it Firefox 3, make the version 3.X.X., thank you.

EDIT: Answer, because Mozilla decided to direct me to the Firefox 2 download. Because their servers were probably on fire or something? That was awesome. Step your game up!

So since I am ranting about Firefox 3, you probably either already knew, or just realised, that it officially launched today. So go download it, if you are into helping set stupid download records, or just won’t admit how great Safari is.

I will admit, Mozilla has made some great strides, and I can actually stand to look at Firefox now and not think I was suddenly moved to a PC. It’s now my official, backup, testing browser. I lessthanthree Safari.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/17/firefox-3/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/16/us-open-wrap-up/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/16/us-open-wrap-up/#comments Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:37:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=383 I found it fitting not to publish this until the Open actually concluded, and seeing as Tiger just wrapped it up on the 19th hole today, this is long overdue:

I was able to spend Father’s Day with my very own Father at the U.S. Open. It was a great day of golf, on a gorgeous course. We followed “Lefty” around for a while, and it seemed to do him good as he finished with 68. We hung out at the gorgeous 13 for a few hours and saw some incredible approach shots to a tight pin placement on an elevated green behind 3 bunkers. We almost got hit by Tiger’s drive on 1. We were there on 18 for Tiger’s put that sent the whole thing off to 18 more holes.

Professional golf is one of those things that should be experienced in person to truly grasp the energy, and the U.S. Open is no different. It’s great to watch on television as your favourite golfers walk up the fairway to a roar of the crowd, but the chill you will get from being the roar is even better.

Special thanks to Kyle Davidson for being important; No Special thanks to the sun block that failed me.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/16/us-open-wrap-up/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/14/try-giving-them-some-credit/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/14/try-giving-them-some-credit/#comments Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:48:00 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=378 Our country is so incredibly lost in how it treats young people. It’s no wonder young people in America feel lost or the need to act out. No one possibly thinks these people are capable of greatness.

What happened to all the faith being in young people? What happened to giving everything to the future generations so that they could better the world far more than we imagined? What happened to teaching good decision making and ethics, as opposed to just giving up and blaming the failures on things like the clothes people wear? Why are scare tactics and propaganda existing in out educational system?

The final straw to me came when I read this. Seriously? I cannot even fathom a situation that I can somehow try to draw a parallel to for this one. It’s just unheard of, it’s just shocking that someone thought this was a good idea, it’s just utterly disrespectful.

MSNBC

On a Monday morning last month, highway patrol officers visited 20 classrooms at El Camino High School to announce some horrible news: Several students had been killed in car wrecks over the weekend.

… Many who heard the news of the 26 deaths between classes, were left in the dark until the missing students reappeared hours later.

The most tragic part about this whole story is that everyone seems to still think it was a good idea and that it will save lives. Are you kidding me? You people are a joke.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/14/try-giving-them-some-credit/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/10/apb/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/10/apb/#comments Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:15:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=373 Anyone who can be in contact with Jessie Poland, please let her know I want to marry her. Mostly because of the words she sings (and probably didn’t even write).

P.S. Jessie Poland is the real name of Charlotte Sometimes.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/10/apb/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/09/why-john-mayer-is-one-of-my-favourite-people-on-earth/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/09/why-john-mayer-is-one-of-my-favourite-people-on-earth/#comments Mon, 09 Jun 2008 18:55:16 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=372 Things like this:

JM Takeover Of Gizmodo Liveblog

Hey guys, John Mayer here. Are you guys excited? I’ve just commandeered the computer of my good friend, Jason Chen, who is also very very handsome. That means a lot coming from a guy like me. My other friend, Moby, is also here. Have you guys seen him? He’s really into technology. I love that guy. OK back to Jason.

For those of you not in the know; Jason Chen was liveblogging the Apple WWDC08 Keynote speech Steve Jobs made this morning. Anyone else find it funny that John Mayer (whose tour is presented by Blackberry, and got the “Bold” early) was once again at a Keynote that was entirely about the iPhone? I never had an issue like all the people giving JM flack for entering into a business arrangement with RIM/Blackberry, I am sure Apple was given a chance to and passed, as JM was never a paid endorser of Apple (he just knows what is good for him). However the RIM folk have to be a bit upset that he is still showing up around iPhone announcements.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/09/why-john-mayer-is-one-of-my-favourite-people-on-earth/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/08/wake-up-mr-west/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/08/wake-up-mr-west/#comments Mon, 09 Jun 2008 06:31:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=371 Last night I had the absolute privilege to see the best musical performance of my life.

I can only describe it as a one man hip hop opera. One man on stage, the band/orchestra in the pit below, and one broken spaceship.

Kanye West just constantly impresses me with each and every thing he does, and it was one of those things in life that I honestly think will stay with me for years and years to come. If you have any way of catching the very few shows left of Glow In the Dark, do it, without any thought, go.

Special thanks to the lovely friends who helped make it an even more wonderful night, and the spectacular people who allowed us to share their suite with us for Mr. West’s performance.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/08/wake-up-mr-west/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/03/a-twist-of-the-update-knob/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/03/a-twist-of-the-update-knob/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:03:15 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=361 So I moved my Photography albums over to my .Mac account, and yes this includes my Photography Portfolio. You might be like, “What Photography Portfolio?” And my reply would be, “The one I was cheating on you with.” Anyway, here it is.

I also have an iPhone gallery set up where I will upload pictures straight from the iPhone. I guess that means I will no longer be utilising the Flickr account, but we shall see how that goes and if adding the iPhone gallery RSS to the live section actually works. I’m just not committed to Flickr, Apple and I have far too strong of a relationship for some floozy to come in and pull us apart.

I also, also have a selected gallery of Live Noise. It is, what you thought it was.

Special thanks to; Lindsay Strannigan and Kyle Davidson who each helped me whittle down the Portfolio, and a certain lady friend who used the word “floozy” so much that it is forever attached to her in my mind, for better or worse.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/03/a-twist-of-the-update-knob/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/02/random-recommendations-6208/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/02/random-recommendations-6208/#comments Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:52:06 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=360 Mates of State – Re-arrange Us
Utterly amazing, the best album they have ever written. Chock full of hooks, sugary, angelic, hooks.

Chip Kidd – The Learners
I finally finished this on my trip up North. It’s a powerful book, anyone who went to art school or designs will probably enjoy it, though I think you should read “The Cheese Monkeys” first.

Price Club (Costco)
We like to call it by it’s old name, but regardless, you need more Costco in your life.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/02/random-recommendations-6208/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/01/in-case-you-were-concerned/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/01/in-case-you-were-concerned/#comments Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:33:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=356 I am in Sacramento, CA, at the airport, wondering why no one uses Bonjour when they are on free open networks.

Let’s examine that. How fun would it be to see 30 people randomly pop up on your Bonjour list in iChat and randomly IM you. Aside from the fact that it could be that creepy dude in the “Foreigner” t-shirt, rather than the adorable girl from the crew team of Western Washington University, I think the whole thing would be amazing. Isn’t the internet supposed to bring us together? Isn’t the future of social networking, networking us when we are being social?

I digress, I think I have lost my mind due to words I have yet to write. They will come, they will flow with the surge of the American River.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/06/01/in-case-you-were-concerned/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/27/the-not-so-prodigal-son-returns/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/27/the-not-so-prodigal-son-returns/#comments Wed, 28 May 2008 06:38:21 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=350 I am home, I flew in this morning, I went to work, I went to a stellar show at the Troubador. We Shot The Moon, William Tell and Everybody Else all put on a rather great show, I only wish I wasn’t the guy leaving before 11 because I haven’t slept a whole lot. I am exhausted, I have never felt so alive.

Boston was amazing, I am fully in love with the concept of spending entire days sitting in the Commons with a book and without a care to the world. On the flight home something interesting happened, I intend to expand on it, a chapter in the book perhaps, but you will have to wait. It’s good, I promise.

While I was on the East Coast I decided I may just buy a boat, put it in a slip in some small New England town, and always have a place there. Maybe a Boatshare? Anyone want in?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/27/the-not-so-prodigal-son-returns/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/22/all-quiet-on-the-western-front/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/22/all-quiet-on-the-western-front/#comments Fri, 23 May 2008 02:27:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=342 See what I did with the title there? That is some sort of writing instrument, I dunno which, but it’s clever, like me. It’s also mysterious and exhausted, also like me.

So the blog has been a little lacking in interesting things lately, that is mostly because my non-blogosphere life has been a little too interesting and/or busy lately. Because of such events, I share with you two things. Two things I was presented with today that grabbed me a little bit, two things that some people may find interesting.

The first is a blog post by a Gypster. Lindsay Strannigan is her Christian name, I don’t know what kind of names Gypsters have, so make one up.

The second is a bulletin one Rory Felton sent out on MySpace. I am not too sure if that link to the bulletin will even work for everyone, nor if Rory wants the world (you know the 5 people who read my blog who are all probably already friends with him on the space anyway) reading his words, but he did put them on MySpace, and it is, at the least, a thought provoking essay.

I’m closing down the blog for the weekend, but you can find me on twitter, I’m sure.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/22/all-quiet-on-the-western-front/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/19/brand-tags/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/19/brand-tags/#comments Mon, 19 May 2008 23:33:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=338 From the world of “Weird things on the internet you aren’t sure what to do with”, comes Brand Tags. It’s an interesting sort of social interaction experiment I guess? Isn’t that what all of these sort of things are supposed to be?

Anyway, it’s pretty fun for killing a few minutes. My personal favourite word association that I personally entered was “45″. I had just been shown the Michael Jordan “Jumpman” logo. If you get that one at all, you are full of tact and wit.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/19/brand-tags/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/17/y2khai/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/17/y2khai/#comments Sun, 18 May 2008 01:37:17 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=329 A number of years ago in college, the fellow members of our secret society were in a computer lab, doing secret society things, when one of us stumbled upon a CD-R with the words “Y2KHAI” written on them. Since we were in a lab full of Apple’s we popped it in one and one of the most amazing auditory moments of all our lives happened right then or there.

We never knew how that CD-R found it’s way to us that day, or why, but we never questioned that it was pure destiny. Y2Khai has since never left my iTunes, and after today it should never leave yours. I think I once even burned a copy for Dan Crittenden’s 21st birthday present, which I am sure was the best gift he ever got.

Recently I decided to see what “Y” was up to, and well it’s the same “sweet asian flow” on a seemingly recently made over website. If you haven’t, then you should. MP3′s can be downloaded at his site. Listen now, thank me later.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/17/y2khai/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/16/boston-i-am-yours/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/16/boston-i-am-yours/#comments Fri, 16 May 2008 23:16:40 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=334 It is official, I will be in the Commonwealth a week from today. You might be like… “Isn’t that kind of a late warning?” Yes, yes it is. I just purchased my tickets yesterday, so I really didn’t feel it was official until then.

I fly in on the redeye Thursday night, and have a quick stop in D.C (better than the layover at PVD Kyle was trying to propose, if you get this, you get this, I will not explain), so technically I can work in another Ben Gibbard reference if you would like. The District will sleep with me for an hour in the airport? I dunno. I am leaving the 27th, early and will be back in California in time for a day of work and a rock show that evening.

If you are in Boston and I know you, I would love to see your face. If you are in Boston and I don’t know you, shouldn’t you have introduced yourself by now? Let’s drink beers while we watch the Sox win, let’s talk Southie all weekend.

UPDATE: If anyone wants to rent out rooms in Long Beach on the dates of May 22-27th and June 4-17th please contact Kyle or myself. Kidding, sort of.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/16/boston-i-am-yours/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/16/i-watched-jericho-too/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/16/i-watched-jericho-too/#comments Fri, 16 May 2008 18:13:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=331 I found this old article from Australia about what our Congress really met about behind closed doors 2 months ago.

Offspring Of Criminals

Theorists wrote “Not only did members discuss new surveillance provisions as was the publicly stated reason for the closed door session, they also discussed: The imminent collapse of the U.S. economy to occur by September 2008, the imminent collapse of US federal government finances by February 2009, the possibility of Civil War inside the USA as a result of the collapse and advance round-ups of “insurgent U.S. citizens” likely to move against the government.

Also theorised was the detention of those rounded-up at “REX 84″ camps constructed throughout the USA and the possibility of retaliation against members of Congress for the collapses and the location of “safe facilities” for members of Congress and their families to reside during expected massive civil unrest.

Other answers included “the necessary and unavoidable merger of the United States with Canada” (for its natural resources) and with Mexico (for its cheap labor pool), the issuance of a new currency – THE AMERO – for all three nations as the proposed solution to the coming economic armageddon.

Taking over Canada for the resources, great idea. Taking over Mexico for cheap labour, now wouldn’t that only eliminate the cheap labour by enacting minimum wage and other US labour laws? It’s pretty great to hear imaginations run wild, and talk of all this speculation that was never speculated about in America.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/16/i-watched-jericho-too/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/those-liberal-californians/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/those-liberal-californians/#comments Fri, 16 May 2008 01:51:03 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=332 Today the State of California Supreme Court overturned a ban on same sex marriage. While I personally have had a rather vague opinion on homosexuality and even same sex parenting (I simply have beliefs on all sides of this debate), one thing no one can argue these days is that if we offer benefits to people in committed relationships, sexuality has no part in distinguishing who is eligible. It’s a good day in California, and it will be interesting to see how this affects other states and the federal government.

I do think the real issue in this long withstanding debate is more etymology than anything. Any formal acknowledgement of a committed relationship by our government should be called a union. Marriage (though it should probably be matrimony) can be a term used by religious groups to show the spiritual acknowledgement of same relationship. We can take a page from Mexico and have separate civil and spiritual services. I don’t believe most people against same sex marriage truly oppose same sex couples having the same benefits and rights as marriage provides, I think they just get caught up on the word.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/those-liberal-californians/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/manny-ramirez-is-my-favourite-ballplayer/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/manny-ramirez-is-my-favourite-ballplayer/#comments Thu, 15 May 2008 14:24:03 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=330 The reasons why are far too numerous to list. Basically Manny is awesome, the whole Manny being Manny is the most entertaining thing in baseball these days. A few days back Manny was talking about how he could/should win a Gold Glove for how he plays the Monster. He really does play it well, and usually he doesn’t play other outfielders with nearly the same quality.

Last night Manny proved all the critics wrong once again. His play in left field in Baltimore is not something we will see again anytime soon.

Keep in mind, that wasn’t after a play, or after an inning, or after anything at all. That was during the play which continues to Manny rocketing the ball into his cut off man, DPeds, who throws Aubrey Huff out at first base. Manny claims he is simply campaigning for his All Star bid.

Manny Ramirez

“I think that’s how you get your All-Star vote, I’m pretty sure that guy’s going to vote for me. One at a time, that’s how it’s going to happen.”

Later in the game Manny continued his normal antics by calling himself safe seconds after he beat out a single, everyone in the place agreed with him, save the first base umpire. Manny play baseball with the kind of joie de vivre I wish every ballplayer had, it’s amazingly fun to watch a guy love what he does that much.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/15/manny-ramirez-is-my-favourite-ballplayer/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/13/i-am-not-a-library/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/13/i-am-not-a-library/#comments Wed, 14 May 2008 05:22:43 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=212 Yet.

I accrue books at a rate equal to the exports of small countries. Setting aside the time to spend with a book is to many a luxury, I suppose. A moment to focus on words actually printed on white pages bound together without any connection to the internet. I still find myself battling to enjoy this time, this disconnection.

I realised while making a sarcastic remark today, that I am a book snob. I made the comment that I only buy First Edition Hardcover copies, and I was sort of kidding, except I wasn’t at all. I really do. I have a book subscription, a subscription not just to magazines, not just to a quarterly, but to books. And I love it.

Why do I do all this? Why do I revel in this addiction? Simple. I am the type of person who one day does not want to be able so simply utilise bookcases, or even an entire wall of bookshelf, I want to require an entire room full of books. Shelves on every wall, a library, with a reading chair to sit down and read Catcher In The Rye for the 5782th time.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/13/i-am-not-a-library/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/12/all-of-politics-are-a-fad/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/12/all-of-politics-are-a-fad/#comments Tue, 13 May 2008 06:27:41 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=326 Joel posted an interesting take on the shape of Politics in his life, I was going to reply, and I thought I would do so here. You should probably read his post if you want this to make the most sense.

I support Obama, I hope every day for him to be our next President, and when someone asks me why I do so, I reply with the following, “He is different”. Now sure this is a cop out (and to many jumping on the trend), there are much deeper reasons, but it doesn’t need to go deeper than that. Politics has always been skin deep, look at the system. Politics is inherently a system where we vote down party lines, we ignore the actual person, and we assume they will just put their parties agenda into practice entirely. It’s a pretty terrible way to do things, and assuming Obama will do the bidding of the Democratic Party once he is elected is just as naive as only supporting Obama because he will be a change of pace.

I hate giving away my money to support the “immobile lifestyles of those who choose not to contribute to society”. I hate the concept of healthcare for everyone. I think these things are not guaranteed, but privilege. As horrible as it sounds, yes, I think living a life free of dying young to pneumonia is a privilege. Until these treatments and cures don’t cost money, they should be for those who are in a position to afford to pay for them. The solution is not having me pay for other peoples standard of living to go up, the solution is having these treatments and cures affordable for everyone to pay for on their own (not subsidized either). That is where we should be trying to take society, that is how we should be trying to help all of humanity. Yet, I support Obama, a Democrat.

I wish we could be left to allowing the non-profits of the world to pick up those less fortunate, I wish it would work that way, but some of us in the world are far too selfish to extend a hand to someone. I have far greater issue with the tax dollars we spend abroad and overseas than what we spend on our own citizens, at least those in our country have the chance that they will become tax paying, productive members of society, it’s more of an investment. I am all for investing in people, all for investing in developing countries, but lets make sure we have a system where we can at least possibly gain financially from that overseas spending of my tax dollars (such an idea, here). I would realistically be more happy with this country if we were entirely practicing either Isolationism or Imperialism, anything with an “I” really.

I believe in people, I believe that our Government actually has 3 branches that all direct and lead our nation. I don’t believe the current President is to blame for all our troubles, just as I don’t believe the next one will magically right this sinking ship. So why do I think we need Obama? Simple, he is open to new ideas, he doesn’t pretend to have everything figured out, he openly states sometimes that his idea currently may not be the final solution to the issue, he is young and passionate. Sometimes experience is not what we need, sometimes we need a leader, doing things for the right reasons.

Michael Bloomberg makes a dollar a year as Mayor of NYC, he is doing it for the right reasons (I personally believe all high ranking politicians should be willing to take no salary for their “service”, but that’s a different rant). Bloomberg has been a Democrat, a Republican and an Independent, Bloomberg supports Obama’s economic plan, at least aspects of it, and I happen of trust the guys judgement on economics. There are certain people out there who are change agents, it’s a trendy term sure, but it’s the best way I can put this. Certain people simply know how to allow for positive change, not to stand in the way or be more important than the change (something I believe Hillary would do constantly), but to guide, to listen, to react and to have interests above their own personal gain. Hillary Clinton has now “invested” 11 million of her own money into her campaign, do you really think she isn’t doing this for the future “benefits”?

I was a huge proponent of John McCain, I think he is one of these people who have the better good above their own personal gain, I was fully behind him a few years ago… and then he went crazy. He started to make statements based on making his party happy, he latched on to ideas just to get their support, he lost a little of his identity. Sure it was probably necessary, but he lost a lot of respect in my book, he pulled a John Kerry. I did not vote for Kerry, so you know who I voted for, it wasn’t very easy. The real thing that killed Kerry in my eyes was seeing how passionate and ready to lead he was in old film footage from Vietnam. He was absolutely inspiring, then somewhere along the line he became a puppet.

Am I contradicting myself a lot? Probably. Didn’t I just talk about how Obama isn’t set on his decisions and is willing to listen? There is a difference between a puppet, a rational, listening leader and an egomaniac. The two extremes are what we keep having to chose between, and frankly I’m tired of it.

Where am I even going with this? Well, here is the thing. Sometimes the best judgement we can make on a person is the first judgement, it’s instincts. Sometimes I meet people for the first time and get this bad feeling about them, every time it has been accurate. Voting for someone because their movement moves us isn’t wrong. Yes we should be careful not to be misled, yes we should educate ourselves with what we are getting excited about (thankfully Obama has a handy little blueprint on the matter), yes it can be a fine line whether we are being ignorant or just believe in a person… these things have been at issue for Politics since the Roman Empire.

An amazing person said something to me about morality recently. I think it really sums up the approach we should take on politics as well…

Amazing Anonymous Person

Morality… it’s all crap because different things are good and bad to different people.

There is no defined right way, there is no solution that will please everyone. The way to lead this country is to understand that, to be able to have all these different, unique persons trust and to lead in good faith. The kind of person that can prove they can do that, shouldn’t need much more than the first impression and it shouldn’t matter what party they associate themselves with.

We are tired of the typical Democrat, we are tired of the typical Republican, we are tired of typical Politics. People don’t simply like Obama because he is different, people need Obama because he is different.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/12/all-of-politics-are-a-fad/feed/ 3 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/10/what-it-is-is-a-party/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/10/what-it-is-is-a-party/#comments Sat, 10 May 2008 18:34:39 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=324 Tonight in Long Beach will be Paul Maziar’s book release party for his collaboration with Matt Maust, “What It Is: What It Is”. It’s at Open, on Fourth, sometime around 8pm. There will be adult beverages, and probably a lot of people who are cooler than me, and I hope some who are boring.

There will be bands, Paul, other people, stuff and things. See you there, more info here.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/10/what-it-is-is-a-party/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/08/10-ways-hillary-clinton-can-still-win/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/08/10-ways-hillary-clinton-can-still-win/#comments Thu, 08 May 2008 23:01:50 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=320 .
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(you get it, right?)

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/08/10-ways-hillary-clinton-can-still-win/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/07/twitter-has-taken-over-my-blog/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/07/twitter-has-taken-over-my-blog/#comments Thu, 08 May 2008 01:43:40 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=318 So I have noticed now that I Twitter, and now that I added Twitter Tools to my blog, my daily digest posts of my daily Tweets are taking over my blog. It’s kind of lame actually, to me at least. I really wish I could have Twitter Tools do a weekly digest, so my blog isn’t taken over.

In fact, I think I am gonna start manually combining my daily digests into a weekly one. It’s a bit of work, but I think it will keep the blog cleaner for the long run. Anyone wanna talk me out of this?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/07/twitter-has-taken-over-my-blog/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/06/escape/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/06/escape/#comments Wed, 07 May 2008 05:41:01 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=316 I sat down tonight to watch the first episode of the new season of This American Life. TAL is a program about people and their stories, it first aired as a radio program on public radio (which is where the sometimes infamous parrot story originated) and last year was turned into a television show by Showtime. The season premiere was titled “Escape”.

27 year-old Mike Phillips lives with his Mother, and deals with all the same issues a child living under the parents roof go through. Rebellion, Dependency, Disagreements, Control all play a part in Mike’s story. The one factor we never had to go through is Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which has slowed the normal move into Independency to a crawl. SMA keeps Mike confined to a wheelchair, keeps him from communicating normally, keeps him from truly being his own person.

This whole thing sounds incredibly depressing, but it isn’t, at all, it is one hundred percent inspirational, is is hilarious, it is motivating. A few years ago Mike wouldn’t have had much of a future, but technology has advanced faster than the disease can take him, and even though he has numerous near death experiences a year he lives a (sort of) normal life. Just the way Mike speaks of these near death experiences is what truly makes you realise how different his life is. He is so accepting of them, he has thrown in the towel to the fact they are always there. Literally this man could die at any instant and yet he finds the time to enjoy his life, to rebel, to love, to do so many things we don’t.

I said something there about Mike speaking, I should have been more clear, Mike cannot speak. Mike has to click words into a computer (Apple, of course) to communicate with people, the words are then spoken by a computerized voice. The host, Ira Glass, realises how impersonal this whole computer voice is and and asks whom he would like to sound like, if he could pick any person in the world. Mike suggests either Edward Norton or Johnny Depp, “Because they’re both badasses”. A few minutes later, Glass narrates, “Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Depp”.

This was the point it hit me like a load of bricks, where I realised the breadth of this story. Hearing Johnny “freaking” Depp voice the words of Mike Phillips completely broke me, in the most amazing way. Everything clicked, the whole story was twisted in a way that you needed to see it, that this was the kind of story that needed a character the likes of Depp for you to understand. It’s what This American Life does best, it tells a story you might normally block out or brush off after a few moments, and it tells that it in such a way that it will never leave your mind.

I strongly recommend everyone watch this episode, I know it is replaying on Showtime most of this week, and probably on Showtime OnDemand shortly.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/06/escape/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/05/be-your-own-apatow/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/05/be-your-own-apatow/#comments Tue, 06 May 2008 06:56:15 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=286 So a while back Cracked had this brilliantly funny satire on making your own Judd Apatow movie. Let’s face it, Apatow rules comedy right now, and while I don’t back every film he does, he knows who some of the best character actors of today are.

In honour of me finally seeing Forgetting Sarah Marshall, you should all go and check out the step-by-step instructions. A pull quote of my favourite of the steps.

How To Make Your Own Judd Apatow Movie

First, get drunk and watch some episodes of that old beloved failed TV series. Become nostalgic, call up one of the lead actors you haven’t seen in a while, and offer him the lead role in your new movie. This has several benefits: you’ve already got their phone number right on you, the shooting process is that much more like your old Frat days, and you know they’ll be grateful for the part. Sometimes they’ll even write the script for you, in which case you can just give them the cocktail napkin and let them go nuts.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/05/be-your-own-apatow/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/02/fenway-time-lapse/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/02/fenway-time-lapse/#comments Fri, 02 May 2008 18:09:13 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=306 Lovely look at the crowd filing in, field being prepared, baseball being played, beer being drank, Manny being Manny, Red Sox winning, gorgeous day/night in Boston, crowd exiting in Time Lapse.

Video by Tom Guilmette.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/02/fenway-time-lapse/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/01/att-hotspots-free-for-iphone/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/01/att-hotspots-free-for-iphone/#comments Thu, 01 May 2008 14:44:00 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=308 AT&T just opened up all their hotspots in the US to iPhone users. B&N, The ‘bucks and more, now free. You might remember a while back they gave free service to anyone who has their internet service, and pledged to open it up to mobile as well. They have finally done that latter. I am anxious to test if this also means wireless customers can enjoy the benefits on their laptop as well, we shall see.

A list of AT&T’s 71,000 hotspots can be found on AT&T’s site, including Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, Airports, and McDonald’s locations.

P.S. T-Mobile is for suckers.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/05/01/att-hotspots-free-for-iphone/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/30/so-we-can-build-up-our-future/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/30/so-we-can-build-up-our-future/#comments Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:04:35 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=296 I personally do believe, that everyone is familiar with Miss Teen South Carolina already, so we can save that link/video/quote. Anyone that listens to Jim Rome also knows how much he loves to play said audio clip, so it should come as no surprise that I found the following image on Rome’s friend Tom Hoffarth’s blog. It’s absolutely brilliant.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/30/so-we-can-build-up-our-future/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/29/i-dont-know-what-this-is/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/29/i-dont-know-what-this-is/#comments Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:08:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=305 However it’s fairly cool. Oh, it is this.

I believe what it does is take people’s Twitter’s from all over and randomly pulls in ones that use certain words in them. I still don’t know “what” Twitter is, but if I ever find out, I might think this is really amazing or something.

This might kill 2 minutes of your day, that you would otherwise spend thinking about some past love, some failed relationship, some bad decision, some moment lost. For that, you should thank me. Speaking of loves lost, the new Augustana is out today and contains a great song titled “I Still Ain’t OVer You”, if the whole me distracting you thing fails, just listen to this song and relish in your non-over-ness of said love.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/29/i-dont-know-what-this-is/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/28/los-angeles-on-a-monday-night/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/28/los-angeles-on-a-monday-night/#comments Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:53:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=303 I usually don’t reserve my blog for things like this, however should anyone in the Los Angeles area be in need of an amazing evening, my good friend William Tell will be playing the Hotel Cafe at 8PM. It will be an amazing time full of pop songs, and people who have way more fun than everyone else. Show up, let’s drink an adult beverage, let’s pretend like we are in high school. That’s pretty much how I have the whole thing planned, all that is missing is you.

Tell just made all his new demos on his MySpace available for download, so you can drive down the 405 singing “Let’s Go To Bed” like the rest of us. Do it.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/28/los-angeles-on-a-monday-night/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/26/hate-junk-mail/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/26/hate-junk-mail/#comments Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:15:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=292 I have long heard stories of people who try to payback junk mail senders by returning the postage paid envelope full of their own propaganda and other random presort mail. I have never seen an idea as utterly amazing as this. Mailing bricks back to credit card companies? It’s amazing, sure it could get expensive if you don’t have a lot of brick, but use what you have, anything will work.

The absolute jewel of this concept is the letter to the bulk mailer for you to insert in your package.

Insert Letter

Dear Bulk Mailer,

Please find attached to your no-postage-necessary envelope, this brick. I figured with all these great junk mails you send me every month, you’d like something in return! I know it costs twenty cents for every ounce I mail to you, so I hope it doesn’t weigh too much more than an ounce.

-Resident or Homeowner

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/26/hate-junk-mail/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/25/triple-header-dual-coast/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/25/triple-header-dual-coast/#comments Sat, 26 Apr 2008 01:30:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=298 I use iCal to keep track of my schedule, and I also use it to subscribe to my favourite sport teams schedules. It’s a handy little feature available for almost any team, and having these calendars sync with my iPhone gives me a constant connection to what said teams are up to. I have these calendars not visible in iCal so it doesn’t clutter the daily events, so I rarely notice such jewels as what follows.

Apparently (and according to their subscribe-able calendar) on April 17th, the Boston Red Sox played 3 games… on 2 coasts. I guess that whole 4 season openers in/on; 4 cities, 4 coastlines, 3 countries thing wasn’t enough for them. Usually I think a doubleheader is tough enough, but the BoSox are better than that.

The (currently, though not on April 17) last place Padres could only muster up enough energy to play one game, which they probably lost, because no one on the team is aware that hitting the ball over the outfield fence automatically scores a run.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/25/triple-header-dual-coast/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/24/fob-live-iphone-wallpaper/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/24/fob-live-iphone-wallpaper/#comments Thu, 24 Apr 2008 17:34:04 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=287 I had a random moment of FOB fanboy-ism and combined it with my constant Apple fanboy-ism and made a little iPhone wallpaper. I’m a dork, no need to rub it in.

Of course this is obviously based off their new “Live In Phoenix” CD/DVD art, which came out a few weeks back, and is surprisingly better than I thought it would be. Enjoy.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/24/fob-live-iphone-wallpaper/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/23/twitter-wars/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/23/twitter-wars/#comments Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:49:03 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=285 So I was thinking about my recent adoption of twitter, along with Chad Pearson’s recent adoption of putting peoples names in his iChat status message, and I realised we could create some sort of uniquely annoying war. We could just randomly post untrue silly things about people (as @ them) and just create an amazingly entertaining waste of internet and text messaging.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/23/twitter-wars/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/22/political-piledrivers/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/22/political-piledrivers/#comments Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:41:57 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=284 Last evening, the next President of the United States, the leader of the free world, appeared on WWE’s Monday Night Raw. Yes all of the potential President’s, somehow, were conned into appearing on a wrestling show. Every last one of their campaign managers should be fired.

Next up, the decision on the Democratic nomination, live from Gladiator Arena.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/22/political-piledrivers/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/20/my-soon-to-be-un-popular-opinion-on-the-war/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/20/my-soon-to-be-un-popular-opinion-on-the-war/#comments Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:32:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=279 So I was doing some perusing of the internets the other day, reading this article. It’s not really necessary to click the link, the article doesn’t actually say anything interesting, it just rambles endlessly like our government representation (and this sentence), however it did get me thinking about the war and solutions. You should all be forewarned that I am taking a harsh stance in the following words, and they will offend many, but I think we are at that point in this whole ordeal where everything is such a clouded, murky mixture of interests, motives and false pretenses that we just need to have a bold path. It is with that warning that I share my paths to end the war.

1) Get out in 60 days (or as quick as humanly possible without the troops being bottlenecked like the Persians) plan. This plan has actually been discussed, and a lot of people think it’s quitting on Iraq, it is. It’s the swallow our pride plan, it’s the realise this issue goes deeper than what we can force plan, it’s the let them fight it out themselves plan. Let’s face it Iraq maybe shouldn’t be 1 country, it has 3 very diverse groups who are all at various times against us and each other. If we left, they can decide where they want to control, how they want to live with their neighbors, and what relations they want to have with them. If they have a desire for one united Iraq, then they will work towards it; If they desire for their own government that can best represent their ethnic group, then they can go that route. We should have learned by now that forcing people to live together under one rule will only lead to one group trying to have control over the others. This whole idea acknowledges that maybe it’s a terrible idea for them to try to govern together. Of course we lose a lot of money, there will certainly be fighting and dying of these different peoples and we lose our foothold in the Middle East. It’s obvious what we gain, but just in case; we stop the loss of American lives, we stop the drain this war has taken on our tax dollars.

2) The “free” gas plan. I used to always joke around and say that “the American public would be okay with this war if we at least got free gas”. It’s terrible to say, and sadly true. Wars used to be fought for resources and gain. Yes there were some fought for chivalry and freedom, but really they still had underlying motives going beyond that. I know we have motives beyond the freedom of these people, I no longer get how those motives benefit us as a country, therefore at least come up with some gains for all these losses. Gasoline and energy costs are one of the biggest issues facing the United States as a country, and individuals living here, alleviating some of that pressure would benefit our economy and growth immensely. Let’s face it, the Government is essentially the biggest corporation, so it’s time they start balancing this whole thing out. Free gas, however, would be violating the people of Iraq, but a discounted gas would be a pretty fair shake. We essentially get oil discounted to cost plus 15%, the Iraq economy still has some positive benefit from this, and isn’t completely stripped of income. We are allowed this deal only to the point that the discounts equal the amount of tax payer dollars being spent on Iraq. This oil is then sold to the US gasoline syndicate at normal rates and the income offsets the tax dollars being spent. Of course the Iraqi government would get a say on this deal after every 6 months, if they feel the cost of income they are losing outweighs the benefits we provide, they let us know and we leave. This gives the whole situation economic balance, motivation for Iraq to stand on it’s own legs, as well as a means for Iraq to say “Thanks for the help, it’s been enough”. This plan should be utilised in any situation in which we are providing extended relief (beyond 9 months) to other countries.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/20/my-soon-to-be-un-popular-opinion-on-the-war/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/17/darth-cheney-is-brilliant/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/17/darth-cheney-is-brilliant/#comments Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:12:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=276 Dick Cheney absolutely stole the show at the Radio & TV Correspondents dinner last night. I’m sure he had a brilliant writer working for weeks on this material, but let’s face it the delivery is aces. My personal favourite is around the 3:50 mark, and it just gets better from there. If the last 8 years can be remembered for anything, we can always say we have had the 2 best stand-up comedians in the White House, ever.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/17/darth-cheney-is-brilliant/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/16/one-nation-under-banksy/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/16/one-nation-under-banksy/#comments Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:23:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=270 Banksy is back at his usual games across the pond. This time he is taking on the big-brother like CCTV that watches over all of London. The Daily Mail gives you the full story on how he set up scaffolding and tarps to pull this large piece off, all right under the watchful lens of a camera.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/16/one-nation-under-banksy/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/15/an-open-letter-to-dodger-stadium/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/15/an-open-letter-to-dodger-stadium/#comments Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:48:47 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=273 Dear Dodger Stadium,
You suck. Not because your stadium has 2 escalators in the whole place even though it was built on a hill, not even because you can only enter the stadium exactly where you are sitting, you suck for the fact that I cannot enjoy a game of baseball without almost dying.

I have 2 allegiances in baseball, Padres and Red Sox, and I had already found my way to Dodger Stadium to support the BoSox in their exhibition game, so last Friday we decided to see Peavy v. Penny and support the Pads. Left field bleachers, no Padres hats present, Kyle, Liz and myself. There we were minding our own business, cheering for our team, witnessing countless Padres fans heckled, assaulted with peanuts, popcorn, seeds, soaked with beer, etc. Granted these fans were a little more outspoken, and finally each one at some point had enough and started throwing things back or yelling back, and every one of them was kicked out. What about the 30-40 Dodger fans who started the whole ordeal? Oh, they were fine, no need to stop that kind of behaviour in the stands.

I really was shocked, I had dealt with some obnoxious Dodger fans at moments in the old days of The Murph, I guess I just expected that to be the exception, not the rule. It is definitely the rule. The Dodger organization apparently supports this kind of behaviour and does not care about the fans of opposing teams and their right to enjoy a ballgame. The Dodger organization is a classless lot, which is probably why their fans like them.

We sat in the front of a section, Dodger fans behind us, it started out quite friendly and the guy directly behind me realised we knew baseball and we had some good fun talking a little trash with a known and vocalized respect that it was all in the fun of the game. I love trash talking, it’s encouraged, but at the end of the day, when the game is over, let’s go have a beer and laugh about whichever of our teams sucked the worse, it’s just a game. So this guy had a couple friends with him, they were apparently die hard fans (whom later told me they didn’t even like the Dodgers, and only came because of a free ticket) who refused to let any sort of friendliness exist with Padres fans. They decided the best way to act was to constantly talk trash and heckle while their team was losing.

Soon they realised we didn’t really care about what they had to say, and if they were gonna annoy us they had to step it up, so they did. Next thing you know I have a guy pulling up my hood. Is this 4th grade? Is this really happening? I shrug it off, whatever, we have style and grace they lack. The Padres continue with the monster 4th inning which seems to seriously upset said Dodger fans. Now they have moved on to poking us in the back, now mind you the main offender was already warned to stop causing trouble earlier when he was throwing seeds at people, so I turn around and tell the guy that if he touches me again, I’ll tell security he is back to throwing seeds at people and there happens to be a huge pile right behind me that will dispute his surefire response to not having anymore seeds, of course since it’s 4th grade he pokes me in the back once I turn around.

So then I turn and glare, and this guy thinks it’s a good idea to touch my face, now I know how this stuff works, he wants me to hit him, but I’d rather introduce him to the full face wipe, and then it gets a little heated and out of precaution Kyle restrains me. So I walk over to security, let them know the guys behind us are “poking and touching us the whole game” (yes, definitely the creepiest thing I have said in a while) and that I want them thrown out. So security takes them out, for 10 minutes, and then lets them back in. Wait, what? Yeah, apparently they just needed a time out. Well knowing these guys behaviour and track record you can bet they didn’t just calm down after almost being kicked out. Instead they tried to plot what they would do to us once they got their chance.

The main flaw in trying to plan an attack on people sitting right in front of you, is that they are right in front of you. I heard every word, and was planning my counter attack. My counter attack was brilliant and mostly involved ducking and shoving him down the stairs. I spent the rest of the game waiting for these guys to jump out of their seat and try to hit me, it was a really great way to enjoy a Padres victory. They stayed seated because a couple of LAPD had posted up near our section, joining the security a few feet away from us. I was even more excited for the assault now, knowing I would get to press charges, but eventually the officers decided to walk across to the opposite end of the bleacher, and conveniently the security guard left too.

The chatter of their plans grew more intense, and I kept an eye turned towards the main offender. Kyle and I exchanged some glances that ensured we were on the same page. During one of my looks back, the third rabble-rouser who was very intoxicated decided to show me the knife he had. He pulled it out of his pocket, and gave me a look that wasn’t very welcoming. I’ve never been in a knife fight, and I imagine they aren’t like the ones in Westside Story, I imagine this guy is the sort to let his friends start a commotion and slip in and stab somebody in the middle of it all.

So to make sure we are all up to speed, the Dodger fans behind us, who were only there because of free tickets, who had already been kicked out for their behaviour, but then were allowed back in, who were also allowed in with a knife, were behind us plotting their attack. After 2 outs in the ninth, we left, I turned around to the 2 sober ones and said “guys, it’s only a game”, extended my hand to them and left.

Thanks for the great night of baseball Los Angeles.

Interested in the Dodger Stadium code of conduct? I wonder if anyone who works there has ever read that?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/15/an-open-letter-to-dodger-stadium/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/14/twitter/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/14/twitter/#comments Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:57:51 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=268 Okay, I know I should know this, I know I should be using it, and I know I should have been on this train like months ago. Regardless, Chad Pearson has convinced me to give it a go, and I am officially Twitter’ing.

For the record, I still have no idea what this all means.

Edit: I added the Twitter feed to my “live” section, I think… and if you have a Twitter let me know the goods, I’m a 1 at this.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/14/twitter/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/13/this-is-a-no-blog-weekend/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/13/this-is-a-no-blog-weekend/#comments Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:30:13 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=269 So I’m down in San Diego for the weekend; celebrating my Mother’s birthday (got her an easel, acrylics, watercolours and related supplies), spending time with the niece, moving furniture around, saboteur’ing with some friends. I haven’t been on the internet most of the weekend, and hardly have even seen my computer. So this is me saying, it was a no blog weekend. If you miss me, I miss you.

Coming soon, a blog about why I hate Dodger Stadium and the events that lead up to it. You might think that this blog is a violation of “no blog weekend”, however I wrote this on Monday, just to throw you off.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/13/this-is-a-no-blog-weekend/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/11/oh-the-irony/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/11/oh-the-irony/#comments Sat, 12 Apr 2008 02:40:51 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=266 I found this brilliant advertisement on some website for the “Idiot Test”. It’s amazing when people are trying to get across a message on the topic of intelligence and then disobey the established rules of the English language. Is it an idiot test based on the fact no one intelligent would click on it?

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are clicking on the idiot test do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t know it’s “an” and uh, I believe that our, I, grammar like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like, such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our idiot test over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/11/oh-the-irony/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/10/winter-can-live-on-if-only-in-these-trees/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/10/winter-can-live-on-if-only-in-these-trees/#comments Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:28:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=257 With Spring fully engulfing the West Coast (heck we may be in Summer by this weekend), I thought a little reflection on Winter would be lovely. I don’t get to experience Winter, but I hear it’s lovely, but then again so is 70 degree weather year round.

Svilen Dimchevski did this brilliant series of photographs of Tangerine rinds after they are peeled off. It’s quite lovely imagery, and makes you want to find the duality in what we perceive as everyday objects.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/10/winter-can-live-on-if-only-in-these-trees/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/09/run-on-wednesday/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/09/run-on-wednesday/#comments Thu, 10 Apr 2008 05:19:04 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=263 Here is what I am doing with my life in complete random run-on sentence form for the people who care about what I am doing with my life.

I go shopping for yogurt and bread buy way too many things decide that I need to go green and buy reusable bags because they will fit more in them and completely forget yogurt, schedule servicing for the Mini, wearing the Persol’s constantly, wandering through art stores, driving laps at the Long Beach airport, watching the Discovery channel all day expanding my knowledge on Egypt, drinking wine on a Tuesday night, keeping secrets, drinking wine on a Monday night, being politically active on the internet, not being shocked when people say they will call and don’t, missing people, dealing with an insane 2 day window graphic installation at work, adding icons to my iPhones home screen, realising I suddenly have a Converse “collection”, cleaning out the freezer, wondering what percentage of people use Q-Tips for the proper use which is not cleaning your ear canals, missing the entire final four save for the last 2 minutes of the championship game and lastly, offending the French.

None of that is in chronological order, so just enjoy it as the pile of letters it is and move on.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/09/run-on-wednesday/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/08/iphone-optimized/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/08/iphone-optimized/#comments Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:38:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=260 A few months back I made the switch to an iPhone optimized admin version of WordPress, so my Mobile posting would be easier. A few weeks back I added an iPhone version (basically just a stylesheet) of this entire blog you are reading. Those of you on iPhone’s already noticed the last one, unfortunately no one but me gets to enjoy the first one. Why did I do these things on a device that gets “The Real Internet”? Simple, because they add function and ease, cut out the fluff and give you what you want when you a look that agrees with the iPhone experience.

A lot of people find iPhone versions of websites to be odd, dividing and others think it’s just the trendy version of a mobile site. I agree that it’s strange the fact that a device with the best (and most compatible) mobile browser available is responsible for a boom in optimising for specific devices, it’s ironic of course. However what a lot of people miss in this whole iPhone optimized craze, is that these versions enable the end user to do more (and spend more time on the site) through increased functionality and cross-tasking with the iPhone OS.

Thus, I bring my list of my favourite iPhone optimised websites (I left out the so-called “webapps” because they aren’t an iPhone version of an existing site):
1. Facebook – This borders between “webapp” and optimised site, but it blows away everything else and was one of the first. I am sure come June this will transform into a Facebook App on the iPhone, but for now, this takes the cake.
2. Google Grand Prix – This started out as a Google employee’s own personal project, and once the people at “The G” saw how brilliantly it ties together all the Google App Suite (Search, GMail, Reader, Calendar, et al) it was quickly green-lit for release.
3. Media Temple – Add email addresses on the go, Reboot the server upon a random crash at 11PM on a Friday night, et al. Probably not things very many of you need in your life, but for me this is a must.
4. Digg – Every few weeks I run into someone who JUST heard about Digg. It’s never ceases to amaze me. For all those who don’t know Digg, you should, and you should also know I’m addicted to it.
5. CBS News – CBS News recently became my favourite source for news, because of this really well done iPhone version. All the news that’s fit to touch.

Honorable Mention:
Trustkill Records – I recently got an email about this from a friend of mine at a label, along with asking my thoughts on it. I summed it up by saying it’s brilliantly well done, but I just don’t feel a record label website has the kind of readership to necessitate an iPhone version. They do a great job tying it into all the iPhone can do (iTMS, YouTube, etc.). Personally, I wouldn’t find myself on this site multiple times on my iPhone, but for those that would, you get quite the experience.

If I were to include websites who have a mobile version, and said mobile version includes an iPhone icon (for saving to your home screen), this list would also include The New York Times, and The LA Times. However these sites are just general mobile versions that look stellar on the iPhone and take advantage of only some of the iPhone technology. My criteria for a full iPhone optimization was basically that links were not just text, but utilize the entire graphical area (yes I’m aware of how little sense this makes to anyone that doesn’t use an iPhone, deal).

Have any to add, think I made bad choices? “Talk to me Goose”.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/08/iphone-optimized/feed/ 4 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/07/lobbyists-obama-wont-take-your-money/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/07/lobbyists-obama-wont-take-your-money/#comments Mon, 07 Apr 2008 18:15:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=259 Daily Kos has a great post about Barack Obama not taking his money and why it has made him even more “prObama” (I made that up months ago, if it ever catches on, take note). The reason why? He is a lobbyist, albeit not one of the evil, trying to control politicians, lobbyists, but a registered lobbyist all the same, and Obama pledged not to take money from lobbyists. It’s amazing to see a politician do something with such a level of broad sweeping accountability. No deciding which lobbyists are okay, which ones aren’t pro/con certain pieces of their platform, just no lobbyists, none.

A little excerpt for your enjoyment:

Daily Kos

Obama, and his campaign, are committed to bringing about change. They are doing this in both large and small steps. Refusing my money is a small step, but it spoke volumes to me. It showed me Obama means what he says and backs it up with action. It shows me that no detail is to small and that his organization is top notch. It strengthened my commitment to see him elected President.

I guess I just can’t use my money to do it:).

p.s.: As a side note, last year my spouse had set up automatic monthly payments to Hillary (nothing big $10/month) but after switching to Obama, had to battle with the Clinton campaign to cancel the automatic payment. I find it ironic that one campaign won’t take my money, the other won’t give it back!

Things like this remind me why we need someone who doesn’t have the “experience” (read: isn’t corrupt, jaded and biased; isn’t loyal to the old ways, run by big business, only worried about their legacy) to be President. Things like this make me soooo prObama.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/07/lobbyists-obama-wont-take-your-money/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/06/one-more-day/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/06/one-more-day/#comments Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:03:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=258 So a few years back Chauntelle DuPree from Eisley got together at a writing workshop with Zac Hanson and Jon Crosby from VAST to write/record. I’m not really sure the intricacies of it all, but from it came one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. Chauntelle stopped singing for Eisley a while ago (some say citing a lack of confidence), which is an absolute shame when you hear her voice. Last I saw her, she was stage right, playing guitar with no microphone in front of her singing her heart out. Anyway, the song they came out of that moment is called “One More Day”, somehow that recording found it’s way to me shortly thereafter and ever since it has touched me in ways few songs can.

Recently (read: last year, cause I’m apparently not on the VAST mailing list) Jon and VAST recorded “One More Day” for their latest album “April”.

I’m still partial to the “demo” version with Chauntelle singing, but both of them are absolute treasures. I tend to think this song would be the most romantic thing ever, if it weren’t so depressing.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/06/one-more-day/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/03/apple-is-awesome/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/03/apple-is-awesome/#comments Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:51:28 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=253 Recently Microsoft and Universal joint venture MSNBC.com ran an article it probably had to make a few calls about whether or not it should be published. The article basically said that Apple is one of the strongest, hippest brands and that Microsoft is boring and out-dated. Tell you something you didn’t know? I know, it’s kind of obvious, but I really like the journalistic tact (sarcasm) MSNBC showed in deciding to run with something that calls out the hand that writes cheques. Still craving that something you didn’t know? Apparently these same voters feel that the next most” in need of a makeover” brand is…

MSNBC

The nearly 2,000 professionals and students who voted named Apple overwhelming winner. The creator of the iPod and Mac computer triumphed in six categories including most inspiring brand and the one readers cannot live without.

Microsoft, the world’s largest software maker, was also a winner, but it received the dubious honor of the brand most readers wanted to argue with, and the one they most wanted to revamp. Voted into second place in the category was brand USA.

“brand” USA? Yep, the country you live in. Maybe we can put The Steve in charge of that brand too? Did I just say Steve Jobs for President? Yes, and Apple board of director Al Gore can be his VP I suppose… though I’d rather Jonny Ive (however, he is not eligible seeing as he is a Commander of the British Empire).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/03/apple-is-awesome/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/02/sweded-tron/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/02/sweded-tron/#comments Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:20:42 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=256 First I should probably explain what “Swedeing” a movie is for those out there who aren’t familiar with the term. It all comes from Michel Gondry’s film “Be Kind Rewind” which is about a couple guys in a rental store who find themselves with a store full of erased tapes (that they caused). They decide to re-create the films on their own, and rent them out to people like nothing has changed.

Wikipedia

The tapes are described as having come from Sweden as an excuse for higher rental fees and longer wait times.

In light of the theme of swedeing, director Michel Gondry swedes a version of the trailer of the film, starring Gondry himself. On the official website, users can engage in swedeing, which puts their faces on the VHS cover of a movie. The Be Kind Rewind YouTube minisite also encourages filmmakers to swede their own versions of popular movies.

With that out of the way you are all ready to see the most amazing thing ever. Sweded Tron, Sweded-freaking-lightcycle-scene-from-Tron. I should probably admit right now that I love Tron, it’s the best film Jeff Bridges was in that isn’t called “The Big Lebowski”, and I cannot wait for the anniversary release.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/02/sweded-tron/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/01/sometimes-i-take-pictures/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/01/sometimes-i-take-pictures/#comments Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:43:44 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=254 A few weeks back I spent a Saturday laughing hysterically, breaking into foyers and pointing my camera at a friend of mine. The goal for the day was some new publicity type shots for William Tell. William finally put a few of them up over at his MySpace (which he revamped) along with a new song (which is great), so now I can share them as well.

Check out the rest over at his MySpace as well as some great pop hits.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/04/01/sometimes-i-take-pictures/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/31/fantasy-baseball-2008/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/31/fantasy-baseball-2008/#comments Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:09:16 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=252 It’s that time of the year again, baseball is upon us. I love baseball, but it’s hard to be really into every game, every day, every second, that’s why a fantasy league that you set the lineup once a week is perfect. Chad and I did this ESPN league a few years back, and we had fun with it, so I am starting one up and hoping people will join the fun. It’s basically a salary cap fantasy game, lineups weekly, and doesn’t require complete submergence in weeks of fantasy research (this means you Kyle).

Go ahead, join it, and let the trash talking begin. If anyone wants to get into a crazy full on drafting league where we geek out over weird stats, let me know, I’m game for one.

League Info

Get in the action now:

http://games.espn.go.com/bbc/group?groupID=6951

Game Front:

http://games.espn.go.com/bbc/frontpage

Group: Don’t Say Industry
Password: redsox

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/31/fantasy-baseball-2008/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/30/red-sox-mid-season-exhibition-games/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/30/red-sox-mid-season-exhibition-games/#comments Mon, 31 Mar 2008 02:49:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=250 Today we (Kyle, Brandon, Josh x3, Yoori and I) took the trek over to Dodger Stadium, which while it’s parking and entrance set up are the best designed public use facilities in Los Angeles (which still doesn’t say much), the rest of the stadium set up is turrrrrible (like Charles Barkley). Apparently someone there thinks it’s smart that you can only enter the stadium in the exact area you are sitting, and Dodger Stadium was built on a hill, so you pretty much see the issue here. Why exactly would we go to a Dodger game? Easy, it was a Red Sox exhibition game, after they had already played their first 2 games of the season.

Brandon drove separately because they had to stop in Van Nuys (read: he doesn’t know Dodger Stadium isn’t south of Van Nuys), and once they finally got there a lovely time of heckling Yankee fans (seriously why do they show up to Dodger v. Red Sox and Angels v. Red Sox games?) and trying to convince Planet Man Ram that he didn’t need to worry about the game. Manny was focused though, and played a solid outfield for 4 innings (read: he didn’t have one ball hit to him).

I tried to convince the concession lady to put duct tape (or scribble with a Sharpie) over the Dodger’s logo on the Souvenir cup, she wouldn’t so I went with a small beverage and a Red Sox dog (there are somethings you will never do, and I won’t support the Dodgers even in my ordering habits). Cocoa Crisp made 2 terrible plays out of routine flies in center, to show us all why he lost the starting job to Ellsbury, and later showed us all why he is great trade bait as he caught one while diving into the wall.

Buchholz drove his pre-season ERA to >9, while I refused to make eye contact with, while berating, the Silverlake girls in front of us.

Dialogue With Silverlake Girl

Her: Why is every Boston fan so grumpy?
Me: I’ll throw ice at you.
Her: I think you need a beer.
Me: I think you need a shower.

It was an absolutely lovely day at the game, and even though the Sox failed to score a run, we left the day happy, because, after all, the Sox are in first place.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/30/red-sox-mid-season-exhibition-games/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/28/1325-years-of-free-internet/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/28/1325-years-of-free-internet/#comments Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:28:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/28/1325-years-of-free-internet/ So Kyle recently informed me, and then the world (via blogdom) about Charter’s “Internet For Life” auction. You can read his thoughts at his blog, they are not kind to Charter, nor the people bidding. If you dig into the rules about said contest, you find fun tidbits like; if Charter sells their service after 3 years you get no refund (Charter is 19 Billion in debt and fielding bids for the company), the winner must pay the full amount within 48 hours of being notified on April 2, the award cannot be sold, transferred, or willed upon death. Recently the auction ended, and the winning idiot bidder was announced.

$71,540.00

No that’s not in Roubles, Pesos, or some other weird other foreign currency, that is USD my friends. So let’s be straight about this, someone just pre-paid 2008 rates for 132.5 years of internet service? Now that might be cool if he is like supplying free internet to his entire town or something, but I’m sure it’s just for some huge Georgia mansion in the country. How brilliant of a scheme was this by Charter? 70 grand of capital straight into the bank.

One of my professors once told me in 1998 that if you save $50 a month starting at age 18, you will be a millionaire by 40. In a related note, I would like to tell the winning bidder of the “Charter For Life” promotion, that by my calculations, if he/she would have put the money in savings, in merely half of those 132.5 years he/she could have owned Canada*.

*Figure is estimated off 1998 “become a millionaire” numbers, average inflation versus interest rate figures and the estimated 2008 worth of Canada being 2.3 million dollars.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/28/1325-years-of-free-internet/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/27/thanks-lindsay/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/27/thanks-lindsay/#comments Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:41:19 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/27/thanks-lindsay/ Lindsay made some post on her blog about her new “Etsy” store, and I being a man, had no idea what this was so I checked it out. I still don’t know what it is, but I am now stuck deciding upon my next table purchase. Normally I would not provide links to something I am contemplating purchasing, but here it might be encouraged that you pick it up before I am able.

London Map Table

Steel Coffee Table

Exploded Coffee Table

London Street Sign Table

In conclusion, what is Etsy? I dunno, but it has some great tables.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/27/thanks-lindsay/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/#comments Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:25:49 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/ James Van Der Beek has been making strange resurgences in my life lately. A few weeks back it was randomly coming across Varsity Blues on TV, in HD (so we had to watch). Just a few nights ago it was some drunken late night Dawson’s Creek viewing, and debating if we were on Dawson or Pacey’s side. Just last night came the most outlandish Van Der Beek’ing of them all. Let me set it up for you.

Kyle, my flatmate, had the brilliant idea of a little drunken Rock Band’ing on a Tuesday night. He got this idea at Yard House Happy Hour, I obliged. I had a lot of catching up to do, so upon my arrival it was pretty much beer in hand for the rest of the night, on one occasion it was 2 beers in hand and being thankful for mic stands. So we began the rock, I believe the first song I sang I got a 67% on. Basically that means it was horrible, I have no recollection of what song it was. By 9PM we were both good and buzzed, and performing at a level unknown to most. 199% on Blink (it’s possible, when your guitarist fails at the outro of the first 100% run through of the song), 100% on Wonderwall, even >90% runs on Black Sabbath. We were legends, we were being considered for Hall of Fame status, and then it happened.

Kyle Davidson

“How cool would it be if James Van Der Beek just came over?”

There you have it Ladies and Gentleman, the strangest words ever uttered.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/26/things-change-dawson-people-change/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/25/the-papal-stage/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/25/the-papal-stage/#comments Wed, 26 Mar 2008 00:46:23 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/25/the-papal-stage/ I’m don’t support a lot of things about the Catholic church, but they have the best backdrop ever. Purgatory has definitely done more good in religious inspired art, then in scaring people into not sinning.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/25/the-papal-stage/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/#comments Tue, 25 Mar 2008 04:45:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/ I know, I know… the boy who cried “I found the Cloverfield monster” strikes again. Don’t believe me, that’s fine, but remember how that whole “boy who cried wolf” thing ended. The destruction of New York City, that’s how.

You tell me, if this isn’t the Cloverfield monster, what is it?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/24/i-definitely-didnt-not-find-the-cloverfield-monster/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/#comments Sun, 23 Mar 2008 18:22:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/ The love affair with this film continues today, because I just realised I never passed along the link, yeah THE link, the one you need in your life, the one that made me happy, the one that saved that puppy from the burning fire, the one that invented Gin & Tonic’s. Yeah that one.

Brilliant.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/23/i-hate-sarah-marshall/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/#comments Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:27:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/ Solea – Finally We Are Nowhere – Texas Is The Reason recorded one of the most perfect albums ever, Garret Klahn can do no wrong.
Death Cab For Cutie – I Will Possess Your Heart (Single) – I started listening to this “single” and the vocals didn’t come in till the 4 minute mark, Death Cab may be back.
New iPhone – Apple, thank you for amazing customer service and always treating me splendidly and respecting my honourary genius status. Also thank you for the entertainment you provide while you swap out my phone; a kid who wanted to do “something” with his iPhone because he doesn’t get service at his house.
Wednesday – … is the new weekend, and apparently we will be at the Stone Rose until further notice.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/22/random-recs-32208/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/#comments Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:07:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/ So FSM comes out next month. I’m rather excited, and you may remember my earlier post about FSM, if not head over there to get filled in on what will either be my favourite film of 08, or the end of my crush on Kristen Bell.

Recently in the village of Los Angeles the FSM marketing has started up. It’s absolutely brilliant, and I have heard quite a few people talking about how they had no idea what it was until they saw one of the ads and checked it out. That’s what marketing is supposed to do right, expand the potential target market? Anyway, the transit marketing consists of signs that say things like, “My Mom always hated you Sarah Marshall”, “I’m so over you Sarah Marshall”, and my personal favourite “You do look fat in those jeans Sarah Marshall” (Ed. Note: Kristen Bell is perfect, so this one is a little hard bit unrealistic).

Thursday as I was driving over to work from the home of one “Young Beverly Hills Adjacent”, after another amazing evening night at the Stone Rose where the game of “Beezerays” was invented, I snapped a pic of another one of the transit ads. Remind me to tell you about “Beezerays”, it’s a fun game, and strangely fun for Men AND Women, which is weird once you find out the game. I have been told that this game may only work in the greater metropolitan ares, so you may have to adapt it for your own use, and remember be polite.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/remembering-forgetting-sarah-marshall/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/#comments Fri, 21 Mar 2008 17:56:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/ I came across this lovely blog the other day, which makes fun of all the very apparent photoshop jobs done in marketing. This is the kind of stuff I thought only my friends and I geeked out over, well this stuff and fonts, and Rachel Bilson, who coincidentally is featured in a post at the blog I just tried to send you to.

For the record I don’t care what anyone says, R Bils is perfect, on that cover, in real life, and especially in the Last Kiss, which is a film starring Zach Braff, which will make you depressed, which is probably good for a change; I have noticed you are way too happy these days.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/21/photoshopolicious/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/#comments Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:46:17 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/ Google TiSP.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/20/reason-549607-why-i-love-google/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/19/i-dont-really-know-the-point-of-this/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/19/i-dont-really-know-the-point-of-this/#comments Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:27:06 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/19/i-dont-really-know-the-point-of-this/ I like the Daily Mail, it’s a website I frequent a lot, but never directly check daily. Perhaps I should, but then the thrill of it would wear off. I like thrills, such as the thrill of scouring the internet about Project Runway Season 4, after the entire season has aired and you just watched episode one, without having any spoilers given away. I’m a rebel dottie, a loner.

So the Daily Mail, decided to run this.

I’m sort of speechless about the whole thing. Speechless that they decided that was a good article, and even more speechless that those were the best images they could have created for them.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/19/i-dont-really-know-the-point-of-this/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/#comments Tue, 18 Mar 2008 15:27:10 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/ The Floriduh (SIC, Ed.) Gators won the National Championship not long ago, in two sports. They recently became pretty lame in both sports, but I really don’t expect that to last long (or I really don’t expect the current teams to survive if they keep this up).

Basketball Coach Billy Donovan locked his players out of their practice facility, only a few days after he said that his team wasn’t committed and doubts they ever will be.

ESPN

Coach Billy Donovan, feeling like his players had settled into a state of complacency and entitlement, banned them from Florida’s $12 million facility. He also told them they couldn’t wear any Florida attire.

This is absolutely the most amazing thing a coach has ever done. It’s absolutely fantastic to see a Coach react to his teams lack of effort by taking away the comforts that they have grown so accustomed to (some Pro Coaches should probably take this approach, starting with the Knickerbockers). ESPN went on to discuss how bad the Gators are this year, how awesome Donovan is, and how they are going to lose to my Alma Mater SDSU in the opening round of the NIT*.

If you are wondering why the title of this brings up Urban Meyer, the UF Football coach, he is the one who originally sprung this move on his Gators team in 2005.

* I made this up, probably.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/18/urban-meyer-is-amazing/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/17/im-not-one-for-whiskey-but-ill-drink-it-down-tonight/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/17/im-not-one-for-whiskey-but-ill-drink-it-down-tonight/#comments Mon, 17 Mar 2008 22:44:50 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/17/im-not-one-for-whiskey-but-ill-drink-it-down-tonight/ That title is a lie, I love Jameson, however the title was amazingly fitting considering today is St. Padraig’s Day. In order to celebrate, I will leave you with this video of a pretty great song which I stole said title from it’s lyrics like a child with no morals.

Damion Suomi – Ghost

You might also want to consider that my Saturday night hijinks involved some Jameson on the rocks (along with a few Glenfiddich’s on the rocks to start things off) and way too much musical reflection and geek-ing out over Squeeze, photo poses of the modeling varietal and the “weird things you do at a bar” assortment, Ivy leagues, way too much use of the word “pensive” and some other amazing moments I don’t yet fully remember so drinking songs are definitely rocking the playlist right now. I will leave you with an amazing quote from Saturday.

Tell

“I just had the drunkest moment of my life. I just looked over at that shamrock sign on the wall, and it started talking to me.”

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/17/im-not-one-for-whiskey-but-ill-drink-it-down-tonight/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/15/the-dreamers/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/15/the-dreamers/#comments Sat, 15 Mar 2008 20:59:38 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/15/the-dreamers/ Long Beach is filled with dreamers. Not dreamers like you or I, but dreamers who digress towards an inappropriate dose of things that cannot be measured. Or so we should be so arrogant to believe.

I dream for success, for a certain level of fame so I can ignore it all with humility, for some plaque somewhere to loosely honour something I was vaguely affiliated with. They dream of the pasts they never had, the futures they never hope come, and the now, which most certainly cannot be their reality. So they slouch it off as they drive on sidewalks, with reckless abandon. Their cars are electric wheelchairs, their every day is some quartered version of the Long Beach Grand Prix.

Sometimes they yell at you from the sidewalks, the sidewalks which you cannot dare co-exist on. This is their town, they saw it broken, and it’s phoenix like rise will on day push them out, and only their stories told to switched off ears will remember how they went out kicking and screaming. They are there buying scratchers with change, every day buying scratchers with change. They have to play to win, and they need a few more addictions.

I have spent time with a few, the shoeless one, who always sprinted into my vicinity to ask for money after I foolishly handed out twenties one day. He used to live around here, his shoes are probably still there, his ex-girlfriend is still there, she is the one who got him thrown in jail. He grew to recognize my truck, I sold my truck, after several rebuttals of lies that I had no cash our friendship was renewed. He was moving on, he had found a job, he was finally getting back to where he had been on the edge of this place. He was never one of them at all.

They, being them, are a friendly lot mind you. They often wander up to use your shower, which is perfectly acceptable in what this town once was. Now it’s gates that actually lock half of the month, and intercom systems legible to all but without any connection to my name. Sometimes they even interact with you in an attempt to embrace the new, as I scouted out the location of the rest of us one of them saw me, and he answered back. I never asked him anything, but he answered “I’m doing good my man, keep on”. And you wonder if he felt like I was intimidated by him, like the new was scared the old would somehow violate the reality that he exists in. I never said a word.

I saw a man walking down the sidewalk at 4 AM, plain as can be, like he belonged there, like it was his normal stroll into the office, like it wasn’t 4 AM at all. It was, and it was bright as day at 4 AM, and I have no idea why this man was out, but I have no idea why I was awake to watch this through the window. They dream of things I was disappointed by, of things I forgot about, of things I wasted. They dream about things that I would never desire, they should never dream to be me.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/15/the-dreamers/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/#comments Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:19:32 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/ So last week I was reading this article on MSNBC.com, and I sort of found it an interesting read while at the same time something tripped me up about it. Finally over this past weekend I realised what it was: This is news? Let me get this straight, some guys theory based on the fact that some plants grow in a location, and those plants were used in a different location, oceans away, as a hallucinogen is enough evidence for discrediting Moses and quite a few religious texts?

British philosophy journal Time and Mind

Benny Shanon of Jerusalem’s Hebrew University said two plants in the Sinai desert contain the same psychoactive molecules as those found in plants from which the powerful Amazonian hallucinogenic brew ayahuasca is prepared.

I’m not defending the idea that maybe everything in the Bible isn’t exactly how it seems. I am a huge supporter of painting with a broader brush, when it comes to religious texts, and I think there are a lot of writings and unknowns out there that can enhance and strengthen the foundation the Bible says. However, this little theory is just a little too speculative and fact-less for my liking (and I love conspiracy theories).

The story gets better when you find out that Benny Shanon is an expert. An expert of what exactly?

MSNBC

Shanon wrote that he was very familiar with the affects of the ayahuasca plant, having “partaken of the … brew about 160 times in various locales and contexts.”

So now the whole thing just becomes funny, would we listen to an addict tell us how Washington’s crossing of the Delaware was really a fabrication they came up with while high in an opium den? The most glaringly odd part of this article is the title “Was Moses high on Mount Sinai?”, because from everything presented in the article itself the only thing the theory even discusses is that the people who witnessed the event may have had hallucinations, not Moses himself.

Kudos, MSNBC, your journalistic integrity is at an all time low. I actually had to check several times upon reading this article that I hadn’t accidentally wound up on The Onion’s website.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/14/the-whatever-bias/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/13/your-blog-is-boring/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/13/your-blog-is-boring/#comments Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:08:31 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/13/your-blog-is-boring/ Not yours so much, but Kyle Davidson’s. He used to be an entertaining person, complete with a blog, but then he got boring (like Sam Morgan). He will blame this on things such as; not having a laptop, having a job, Michael Vick being found guilty, being busy traveling. But I call rubbish on it, he could blog if he wants to. He could leave his friends behind.

For those who aren’t familiar with Kyle, he; is my roommate, the other half of the “Disneyland creepy running guys duo”, a fellow connoisseur of sourdough and sour balls, a fellow AI alumni (not working in the field), inventor of some amazing t-shirt slogans you don’t yet know about, one of the only persons I know who never went to a prom of any sort*.

Everyone should go harass Kyle until he decides to blog again.

* This is totally true, and I am still trying to make it my mission to throw Kyle the Senior Prom he never had. Who is with me?

Edit: So I wrote this a few days ago, to post date my life so to speak, and low and behold Kyle goes and makes a blog post. Kind of stole my thunder, but the blog is pretty great and has even inspired me to tell one of the many “BRO!” stories, so look for that soon.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/13/your-blog-is-boring/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/12/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/12/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/#comments Wed, 12 Mar 2008 09:51:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/ Last night on Letterman, he discussed Eliot Spitzer’s penchant for “banging whores”. Now Letterman has no problem with the practice, he just doesn’t want him doing it on the state’s time. He also took up issue with Spitzer debating what he will do now that the truth has come out, rather than step down immediately and let someone actually run the state. His reasoning for this is absolutely brilliant:

David Letterman

“What if those snakes over there in New Jersey decide to attack us?”

It’s nice to finally have New York’s Governor a bigger joke than (not) my Governor.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/12/reason-371200-why-i-love-david-letterman/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/#comments Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:20:04 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/ We The Kings – We The Kings – Yes I love pop music, so sue me.
Accepted – I still haven’t seen it, true. However I lied about seeing it last week, this weekend watched a good 45 minutes of it, and set the DVR to record it for next weekends viewing. Justin Long + Jonah Hill = Amazing.
Augutana – Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt (EP) – I don’t think anything will ever top “Boston” to me (mostly due to personal attachment), but “Sweet and Low” is one of the best songs I have heard since the 90′s, it is absolutely everything I love in a song.
Yogurt – Yeah, I am recommending you get some live culture in you, everyone could use more.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/11/random-recs-31108/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/10/the-interstates/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/10/the-interstates/#comments Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:48:56 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/10/the-interstates/ I love the fact that in our nation, you can get on one highway and drive to the other coast. It’s brilliant. I hate the fact I can’t drive to work (25 miles) on one highway, but hey Los Angeles only ever completed like 1/4 of the highways planned for it.

The Interstate system was developed by Eisenhower, and this lovely illustration of the system that I recently came across was put together by Chris Yates.

To clarify one thing, the 15 doesn’t really go into Los Angeles, not sure where this dude gets his info, but it goes all the way to San Diego, and never really comes close to it’s downtown either. Moral of this lesson, the 15 isn’t fun.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/10/the-interstates/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/#comments Sun, 09 Mar 2008 17:39:26 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/ So a few weeks back this was posted on the internet and has made its rounds, it has become pretty popular not because what the guy is saying is right (or necessarily wrong), but because of how he says it and how offensive he tries to be.

When it comes to people who work on websites all day, there are quite a few interesting ones in the lot, this guy however is just not in touch with reality. He has a few solid points as his platform, but then screws it all up with his delivery by being so absolutely polarizing that it becomes hilarious. I’m like a 3 at creating for the internet, but some of my closest friends are absolute internet legends, and they would tell you there are always exceptions to almost all of these rules.

For most people, this should just be a funny post to see how people who geek out on making the internet argue with each other about things that really don’t matter. Enjoy.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/09/1-sign-you-shouldnt-hire-this-guy/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/#comments Sat, 08 Mar 2008 06:28:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/ Someone had way too much time on their hands, but for that I am thankful.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/07/the-steve/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/#comments Fri, 07 Mar 2008 02:42:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/ SEO, means Search Engine Optimization. Every competent web person is usually savvy with this term, and will tell you what you can do to increase the likelihood that someone finds you on the internet (or better yet, how you can pay them to optimize your page). Then there is the famous “Google Algorithm” and how it’s pretty much smarter than most people graduating from the Art Institute of CA (I can say these things, it’s my alma mater). Over the years countless people have made claims they can “get you the top result on Google” and other ridiculous things that are pretty much impossible to pull off.

However, I had never seen someone claim to be able to move you away from the top results, let along move only certain results related to you down the line. That all changed today with Complaint Remover, which claims to “stop defamation by positioning links on the Search Engines and by appeals to law to remove negative information”.

If that isn’t the most hilarious thing in and of itself, The Consumerist decided to have some fun with Complaint Remover and defend the freedom of the internets, and cat breeders.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/06/seo-v-lol/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/05/the-making-of-a-champion/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/05/the-making-of-a-champion/#comments Thu, 06 Mar 2008 00:18:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/05/the-making-of-a-champion/ I am a pretty big nerd when it comes to typography, or for the non Graphic Designers of you, the world of fonts. I abide by the somewhat common belief that any designer can get by on about 6 fonts in their life, 6 fonts is pretty much just about what I’ve used to complete 90% of everything I have ever designed. However, my Suitcase has about 5000 fonts in it, so I have an excess, of sorts.

In college I got in this really David Carson mode once where I would only use Courier, and then manipulate each letter by hand to get some derivation that suited my mood. This worked for about 3 months, until I was banned from using Courier by one of my teachers (which was probably for the best, so thank you Pein). So it’s not shocking that I have always liked to put my own touch on a font I am using for a certain project, I just feel it is the correct process out of respect for the design. Or, maybe I just don’t think very many fonts are perfect.

Lately, my mind has grown attached to scripts and swashes and italics, and at some point this relationship will end, but for now I enjoy it. I have a huge crush on Champion Script Pro at the moment, and it’s mostly due to it being one of the most complete fonts out there and comes with thousands of optional letterforms and such. Parachute did an amazing thing and wrote up the how’s and why’s behind Champion, and it’s quite a good read for anyone from those curious to how a font is created, to the seasoned typographer.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/05/the-making-of-a-champion/feed/ 3 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/04/life-as-it-were/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/04/life-as-it-were/#comments Wed, 05 Mar 2008 00:05:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/04/life-as-it-were/ A swirling mass of denim and associated items, digital cameras, way too many energy drinks, Rock Band injuries; that is my life as of late. It isn’t always the adventure it sounds like; which is more than it should be. For every moment when I realise I need time away from something, there is a wandering of hours through halls because I felt like getting lost. The truest words I ever found came to me in NYC; found a voice in my lungs because no one stopped to see the life unfolding around them. I am told they do, I am told they appreciate more than is shown outwardly, but I am not positive they even know of what I speak.

Life is never in the now, what it will be later, save a few rare moments where everything doubles back on itself and you use words like “epiphany” or “realisation”. This is another forced attempt to remember that whatever is happening now is far better than I think it is, and I think it’s just fine.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/04/life-as-it-were/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/#comments Tue, 04 Mar 2008 03:56:31 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/ Over the weekend I added some various, random, writings that span all the way back to 2002. For those of you not in the know, 2002 was when blogging was invented*, and I was right there changing the world.

If you peruse these archives, you will find; early morning drives, Cheetah conservation, vague reminiscing, 11 o’clock news play-by-play, a reminisce vaguely worded, run-on sentences, moments, earlier morning drives (at the end of a roadtrip), and surely a lot of poor grammar.

If you are interested in my more literary type endeavours, this would be your gin.

* I totally made this up, I am quite capable of wiki’ing “blog” and “knowing” it was created earlier, but that would be boring and predictable.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/03/archival/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/02/figure-8/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/02/figure-8/#comments Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:48:38 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/02/figure-8/ A “Figure 8″ by definition is “a circle that turns around upon itself, on its side is a symbol for infinity”. Figure 8 was also an amazing album by the late Elliott Smith (Good Will Hunting, Heatmiser).

The LAist recently ran a story about the renovation of the “Elliot Smith Wall”, which was of course the mural which is forever attached to Elliott due to it’s iconic presence alongside him on the cover of “Figure 8″. This mural is on Sunset, I drive by it now and again, and it was really in a sad state for a while. Solutions owner Stephon Lew even discusses some plans he has to further tribute Elliott.

Stephon Lew

These are my dreams: I plan to place an electronic object of importance….a 5 foot 7 inch tall monument (of Elliott’s size–with two loudspeakers at the base of the monument to represent his two big shoes) formed from crushed electronics parts —to play and to identify Elliott’s musical influences (Elliott’s hobby, I hear, was to experiment with electronics to make music tone)—to have the monument –emanate new energy and the many solutions that music can provide.

I am thrilled to know in future times as we all pass by we will see a familiar friend once again. It’s all kinda like a Figure 8.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/03/02/figure-8/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/29/friday-discussion-question/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/29/friday-discussion-question/#comments Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:45:38 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/29/friday-discussion-question/ I know only like 4 people read my blog, and like 2 of them regularly comment, but I am having a discussion post anyway. Maybe I will do this every Friday; maybe I will do this every leap day. Who knows, really.

I had every intention of this blog being more about my life and what I am currently doing, than being the randomness it is. I had all these intentions, but then realised I am kind of boring. You would get all these posts like; “I worked today, then I came home and watched One Tree Hill, then I fell asleep at 10:20″, would have been this Tuesday’s post.

So, all that being said… Would it be better if I posted less (and only about the things I do/think/feel) or kept posting regularly (and include random things I find worthy of passing along)?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/29/friday-discussion-question/feed/ 3 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/28/reason-239781-why-i-love-google/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/28/reason-239781-why-i-love-google/#comments Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:32:10 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/28/reason-239781-why-i-love-google/ Today Google gave all homeless persons in San Francisco a free phone number and voicemail. I have always been a pretty big supporter of Mayor Gavin Newsom (even with that whole affair scandal, he handled it pretty well) and the strides “The City” (On the west coast, this means San Francisco) has made as of late, but this one definitely tops the list. San Francisco also gives out tokens to the homeless allowing them to use the public French style bathrooms whenever they need (which a few of them also use to take showers in, since the bathrooms are self cleaning), and recently launched an effort led by Mayor Newsom to use less bottled water and take advantage of the tap water (which is amazingly pure up in those parts) by giving all gov’t employees a reusable bottle and banning bottled water from city sponsored events.

You can find a full write up about Google’s move over at msnbc.com, but here is a brief pull:

MSNBC

“How do you communicate as a homeless individual? ” Newsom asked. “How do you expect your life to turn around if you can’t even get information or if someone can’t even get in touch with you?”

“It just seems exactly like any other voice mail,” said Craig Walker, senior project manager of Google. “There’s no stigma attached to it that ‘hey this is a temporary thing’ or ‘this is an 800 number.’ It’s really just a local number owned by the user.”

One man who used to be homeless said the right message can raise the spirit.

“Having your family, friends and loved ones being able to say ‘here I’m thinking about you, I love you, I want you to know you’re mine, and I miss you,’ can have a monumental change in one’s behavior.”

Well done Google, Well done Mayor Newsom.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/28/reason-239781-why-i-love-google/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/#comments Thu, 28 Feb 2008 03:25:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/ Then head directly here, it’s kind of amazing, it’s totally a train wreck, and you won’t leave for hours.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/27/do-you-want-to-lose-a-few-brain-cells/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/#comments Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:30:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/ Coconut Records – Nighttiming – So I got addicted to “West Coast” way late in the game, and the full album finally came last week, and yeah… I’m pretty much in love with this record.
Wearing A Watch – After some six years without, I am back to telling time on my wrist.
Scissors For Lefty – Got Your Moments – This song is my new addiction, which may lead me to the rest of their catalogue. For now I will rock this on repeat (from Rob’s Party Mix/Cloverfield), a lot.
Disneyland – Annual Passes back in effect, Kyle and I will be there almost every Sunday from here until we are banned.
Fresh Sourdough Bread – See above, and the fact they have a Boudin’s bakery in California Adventure; so what if we do our grocery shopping at a theme park?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/26/random-recs-22608/feed/ 3 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/25/the-pen-is-mightier-than-the-camera/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/25/the-pen-is-mightier-than-the-camera/#comments Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:19:15 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/25/the-pen-is-mightier-than-the-camera/ Personally, for me, when I want to go realistic I put the pen/ink/brush/paint away and stick to the camera, but I am always impressed by those who can be so mechanical and precise in their creation that it looks exactly like the image we see with the eye/lens. Juan Francisco Casas is doing just that, with Bic pens.

The Daily Mail

They may look like pin-sharp photographs – but these amazing pictures are actually drawings created with the humble ballpoint pen.
The stunning pictures, measuring up to 10ft high, were drawn by a rising star of the art world, Juan Francisco Casas.

Casas, 31, can use up to four 14p ballpoint pens for a canvas and his works are already a sell-out at exhibitions.

Formerly a traditional painter, Juan began the drawings three years ago based on photographs of nights out with his friends.

He seems a little obsessed with the blonde he keeps drawing, but these are none the less impressive.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/25/the-pen-is-mightier-than-the-camera/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/23/amazing-campaign-by-products/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/23/amazing-campaign-by-products/#comments Sat, 23 Feb 2008 17:04:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/24/amazing-campaign-by-products/ I really cannot decide which is better:
Barack Obama being my new bicycle; or Hillary Clinton being my new bicycle.

However, I definitely know which candidate I would support by wearing baseball inspired campaign shirts.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/23/amazing-campaign-by-products/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/#comments Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:07:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/ The Onion usually stays with stories I think are hilariously funny, yet leave me craving the 3-10 minutes I just lost to them back. This however is beyond hilarious and only left me wanting more.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/21/michael-bay-gets-his-oscar/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/#comments Wed, 20 Feb 2008 23:18:33 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/ My good friend and former roommate Paul G. Maziar once said the following:

Paul G. Maziar

“Banning AIM is like so ’01.”

That however is a different story, for a different day. Paul wrote a book of words called What It Is: What It Is, and the best way to describe it is to write down your train of thought while your mind is reflecting upon a million things at once, while reveling in a few thousand other things, all while processing your immediate surroundings far too intricately, only more intelligent than all of that.

The following is either an excerpt from his new book, something he randomly emailed me because I sent him a picture I took of him in Mexico, or all of the above:

Mexico City Blues

Half-sunken steamboat with barking, oofing sea lions—all rusted, green and dirty-white
in the trash-workman haze off the coast of Mexico. While panicking in the midst of
crowds of average Americans and foreign stewards, quieted the too-fast breathing and
thought of my timing-life from well-knowing intent—I became momentarily comforted in
my own decisions. We can kick our bodies to the curb and wonder why later—in any
clothes upon any soil—or wash our faces with humble hands, then paint the fences of all
the blasphemous buildings—or souls really never are confined. – December 17th.

December 18th and Lindsay feels drunk on herself in our rooms on the ship—with T-Rex
on the speakers—lulling through the hours with others—other consciousnesses spilling
into her head, but she’s sweeter than she is dirty, and thirty minutes in the shower keeps
her spinning on the slow-side.

We spent 30 minutes in our separate showers contemplating and both came out in
stripes.

A tiny white bird, anonymous and swooping finds the only thing to do—one thing to
suffice and that’s finding food.

Are we the only beasts on earth who poison ourselves mostly out of haphazard
circumstance?

You can find out more about Paul’s book, which is a collaboration with Matt Maust (of the Cold War Kids) supplying visuals, at the MySpace and you can order the book from Write Bloody directly. I also recommend heading over to the MySpace and grabbing the audio recording “Lost In Begginings” which is Paul reading over some music by one of the guys from Goddamn Electric Bill, it’s quite a great introduction.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/20/what-it-is-what-it-is/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/19/certain-things/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/19/certain-things/#comments Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:08:15 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/19/certain-things/ There are certain things for me that will always; render a photographic image in my mind, create a yearning for particular things, begin a private screening of out takes of life events in moving picture form, trigger an onslaught of emotions past. For me these things are typical; for me these things are atypical. Songs, films, pictures, cities, sounds; clothing stores, new conversations you swore you already had, certain days of certain months, driving sections of a freeway, pudding.

I’m not so much speaking of one person literally. What I mean by that is that of course there was one of these certain things relating to one specific person that drove me to this point, so yes I am speaking of one person, literally, but also I am not. You see, lately the frequency of these moments is speeding up, and they aren’t always about that one person or any one person at all, I can assure you that, probably. Surely some of this had to do with the self-induced nostalgia (read: torture) of my musical choices the last week or so, so those moments did not surprise me in the least bit, in fact they were welcomed. The surprising moments came in the coincidental actions that came complete with one free, hit you in the face, trip down memory lane.

It is this sort of this lumped up ball of memories and emotions from all things past that has been constructed like some hybrid of a rubber band ball and dust bunny. It can’t be explained, but here I am explaining away. It is refreshing and amazing and all kinds of words that would be used to describe an unexpected welcomeness, really it is.

For those who think I write in cryptic, changes make only the end of refreshing moments. For those that think this is about them, it very well may be; and realise it is no less flattering to find out that it isn’t only about you, it only makes it less creepy. For those that think it’s about 14 February, it is not; for those that think it’s about today, it is.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/19/certain-things/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/18/apple-users-v-the-world/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/18/apple-users-v-the-world/#comments Mon, 18 Feb 2008 22:32:48 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/18/apple-users-v-the-world/ I’ve been an Apple user for 20+ years, dating back to a Christmas morning in the 80′s where we woke up to a green glow in the living room. It’s been a bumpy road for those years filled with family members becoming Windows users, Apple allowing clone Macs, the ongoing battle trying to convince everyone why Apple was better. I gave up on that last one a few years ago; it may have an act of futility, it may have been a realisation that everyone (including people I never wanted using Apple) were coming over at breakneck speed and the elite Apple user circle was becoming bloated.

What really did it for me was one day after many conversations with many Windows users comprising of this automatic intense defense of their OS. It suddenly clicked with me, I was just that same way (only on the offensive), and it’s annoying. Anyone discussing anything who has to sell something that hard and make ravenous remarks has some serious insecurities. So I gave up, I would still always subtly slide in any pro Apple remark where I could, but it had to be applicable and rational, it would be only to educate and inform. I think this same “maturing” of the “Apple fan boy” has taken place on a wider scale with most others as well, and now you see a more confident Apple supporter, who doesn’t sink to kicking Windows users while they are down.

So can the same be said for Windows users? Did they give up on their hyper defensive stance? Have we all matured together to realise some people are okay with driving a minivan (is it at least a turbo charged minivan, with a cool number 18 decal on the side? No?), and the rest of us want something more sporty with a better design aesthetic and a functionality that is so simple, yet so forward? The answer lies on the internets friends, and it’s looking like the answer is “No”.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/18/apple-users-v-the-world/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/17/tech-logos-evolved/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/17/tech-logos-evolved/#comments Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:54:16 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/17/tech-logos-evolved/ Pretty interesting look at the evolution of some of the more popular Tech companies.

I still am not much of a fan of the Google logo, but I absolutely love the old logos of what was to become IBM.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/17/tech-logos-evolved/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/#comments Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:01:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/ This should be the single battle cry for anyone against Scientology.

Photo courtesy of Rob Sheridan, who did some amazing work on the NIN “With Teeth” photography.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/16/free-katie-holmes/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/#comments Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:50:49 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/ Who else finds this one of the most absolutely hilarious things ever?

How To Flirt

My thoughts upon first viewing:
1. “Hi” is a pick up line?
2. Being from Long Island is a “big red circle with a line through it”.
3. Shouldn’t a video that will be posted online about “how to flirt”, just show some guy and girl “MySpacing” and “AIMing” back and forth? Such as?
4. Talk about Butterflies, but then rub your arm all seductively. What?
5. Step 6: Alcohol?!?
6. “If a persons feet are facing you, he or she is interested”. Does this rule apply to all moments in life? Sweet.
7. So you shouldn’t touch a guy below the belt, but kissing him within 5 minutes is perfectly acceptable?
8. Was that even her wine?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/15/how-to-flirt/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/14/emocentric/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/14/emocentric/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:04:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/14/emocentric/ e·mo·cen·tric
adj.
1. One attaining the view that music (specifically emo) is the center, object, and norm of all emotions.
2.
a. A limitation in behaviour and/or preferences to music that is played by persons in tight clothes with a heavy emphasis on emotional themes.
b. Only affected by the feelings invoked by “emo” because the emotions of others relate exactly to you; they are singing about you.
3.
a. Influenced or inspired to one’s self as pertaining to anothers act of pure emotion.
b. Taking one’s own emotions (or emotions transferred from song) as the basic for ones own philosophical system and mannerisms.

In psychology, emocentrism is defined as a) the incomplete attachment of the self to the emotions of songwriters, ignoring ones own actual emotions and thought and b) the tendency to perceive, understand and interpret the world through the emotional writings of others as they apply to the self. The term derives from the Greek emô, meaning “bangs over the eyes.” An emocentric person has no theory of emotional individuality, cannot help but “put himself in everybody else’s shoes,” and believes everyone feels what he and Chris Carrabba feels (or that what he understands about the music in some way exceeds what others understand.)

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/14/emocentric/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/13/okay-i-really-found-the-cloverfield-monster-this-time/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/13/okay-i-really-found-the-cloverfield-monster-this-time/#comments Wed, 13 Feb 2008 09:11:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/13/okay-i-really-found-the-cloverfield-monster-this-time/ Andy Hull (of one of my favourite bands of the last few years Manchester Orchestra) recently sat down to record a Daytrotter Session. ManchOrch recorded a stellar album called “I’m Like A Virgin Losing A Child” that I couldn’t stop listening to for months. Andy also has a side project called Right Away Great Captain that is quite lovely in it’s own right. Andy was joined by Kevin Devine on the 3 tracks recorded for Daytrotter, and 2 of them are previously unreleased. If you ever get the opportunity to see Manchester Orchestra live, do it, they were a part of the second best live auditory performance I’ve ever attended (which also included Kevin Devine, and Brand New).

You can check out the session over at Daytrotter and for those of you who are fans of Kevin Devine, his Daytrotter Session goes up friday and Andy returns the favour by joining him.

Now here is the part where you feel misled because I was talking about the Cloverfield monster again, you don’t think it’s fair (and it probably isn’t), but you should know I do this constantly in my real life as well. Just ask anyone who is taking pictures during our social outings for some photographic evidence, and you will see by the blurring that is me in the background that I am constantly bringing “Clover” into all aspects of my life. Do not fret fine blog reader, if you listen to the second song “Made Quite An Impressive Noise” and pay careful attention towards the end, this will all make a little more sense.

P.S. Who young or old enjoys having (the) desert?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/13/okay-i-really-found-the-cloverfield-monster-this-time/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/12/teaching-without/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/12/teaching-without/#comments Wed, 13 Feb 2008 04:37:35 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/12/teaching-without/ Pretty amazing story about a teacher in the greater San Diego region who graduated High School, got an athletic scholarship to, and graduated from, college, became a teacher and taught High School for 17 years; all without being able to read, write or spell.

John Corcoran

“When I was a child I was just sort of just moved along, when I got to high school I wanted to participate in athletics. At that time in high school I went underground. I decided to behave myself and do what it took. I started cheating by turning in other peoples’ paper, dated the valedictorian, and ran around with college prep kids.”

Some might call this a failure of our educational systems for this man to be allowed to go through and teach children while being illiterate; I call this a failure of our educational systems for allowing someone who clearly could apply himself (granted by unjustful means) to “success” no matter what. A lot of times those who struggle with these sort of things wind up down a much darker path so I think it should be celebrated that a guy who struggled, who had to cheat to make it, wound up figuring out a way he could make a huge impact on youth and prevent this from happening to other young persons.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/12/teaching-without/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/#comments Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:28:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/ Voluntary Manslaughter however is. Good thing for the driver that this guy made it.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/skateboarding-is-not-a-crime/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/on-politics/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/on-politics/#comments Sun, 10 Feb 2008 18:55:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/on-politics/ I have been trying to explain my thoughts and feelings on the face of politics in our country numerous times recently with friends and strangers. I have tried to explain why I used to respect McCain, why I hate Clinton, why I’m nervous about Obama, why Ron Paul is not an option, and I don’t think I have ever found the exact way to say it. Thankfully Mark Cuban did, and now I can just link you to it. Mark Cuban is one of the few people in the public eye that I find myself wishing I could sit and talk and think up ridiculous ideas that would change the world with, the most amazing thing with the people (Cuban, David Eggers, David Carson) on my list is that they will do exactly that. I only need to exchange emails or run into and almost knock over Cuban and I will have interaction with all 3 down.

Mark Cuban

I’ve looked at the websites of current and previous candidates to get an understanding of their platforms. They all have positions, some of which I agree with , some of which I don’t. But there is one thing that is missing from each and everyone of them, any manner of implementation. Health care, spending cuts, retaining or repealing tax cuts, keeping or removing troops, the soundbites with pretty numbers never end. Not a single candidate provides details on how exactly they are going to accomplish anything. Don’t they realize that economists exists to make lottery ticket buyers look smart, not presidential candidates ?

It reminds me of business plans I get from kids who tell me about their vision and project all kinds of numbers leading to grand results. They can site historical facts and figures, but when it comes time to get into details of exactly how they are going to execute on their plans, the response is basically that they will figure it out as they go. I wouldn’t invest in a business that is winging it any more than I want to vote for a presidential candidate that is winging it.

Unfortunately , they are all winging it. i have no question that they have every detail about how to spend their campaign contributions on advertising planned out. I have yet to see details on how they plan to accomplish all their great promises they are making to voters. That scares me.

(And before all the comments start, Ron Paul is the worse of all the candidates when it comes to detailing how he would execute on his promises. Just saying you are going to cut and eliminate everything doesn’t mean you know how to do it and/or could get it done.)

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/10/on-politics/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/#comments Sun, 10 Feb 2008 03:51:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/ Excerpts from the lessons we all should have learned much sooner:

#27356
Singing “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” at karaoke when the only words you know are the title of the song, is never a good idea.

#81279
Upon the bridge of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”, when executing “The Move” (you know the one), try limiting your knee slide to under 5 feet in length to avoid a sudden lack in epidermis on your knee.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/09/life-lessons-2908/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/08/18-1-refuse-to-lose/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/08/18-1-refuse-to-lose/#comments Fri, 08 Feb 2008 19:11:51 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/08/18-1-refuse-to-lose/ So the most hilarious thing on the internet this week is this petition. The only thing that might be more ridiculous than a petition saying the Patriots should have won the game (I have no idea what the basis for their statement even is), might be the idea of a website called PetitionOnline.com where people can host “public petitions for responsible public advocacy”. This website cracks me up every time a person starts one of these silly things. Has PetionsOnline.com worked? Ever? Once? My vote is no, but they say otherwise.

These people think the play calling would have gone the same way if there was 40 seconds less on the clock. Like the Giants would have still run plays that would have only gotten them 40 seconds away from winning the Super Bowl, and not targeted longer passes or thrown at the end zone. Wow, this is just pure hilarity:

A request for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII

Nowhere in the above rules does it state that in the conditions of what was happening on the clock should be stopped. Also in addition to this six seconds were added to the game clock. Had this illegal clock stoppage not occurred there would have been 40 seconds less time on the clock, 46 seconds less if you consider the six seconds added on after the play. This means that after that play, if the clock was running the way it is supposed to by the rulebook, there would only be 42 seconds left on the clock. Furthermore if this was not enough on the subsequent play time was not taken off during the play followed by a random flashing of numbers on the clock.
The following drive took the Giants a total of 52 seconds on the game clock from the point that six seconds were added to the clock. However if the time was managed the way it was supposed to be there would have been no time left on the clock after Eli Manning was tackled at :50 seconds on the game clock. This irrefutable proof demands that Super Bowl XLII be reviewed from the point of the first illegal stoppage.

So should the Patriots have won? Who cares, Eli Manning is going to Disneyland World, maybe. More on that later, maybe.

My vote is to asterisk the Patriots record with no explanation to whether the asterisk references the “clock management violations” in the Super Bowl or the fact that the Patriots cheated this season at least once. It would be the perfect end to “The Perfect Season®”.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/08/18-1-refuse-to-lose/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/07/hdr-imagery/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/07/hdr-imagery/#comments Fri, 08 Feb 2008 04:36:22 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/07/hdr-imagery/ Photography has always tried to capture reality, or show us an alternate view of reality, but in many situations it just doesn’t do justice to the real thing. Now digital photography has brought us HDR.

Photo courtesy of Stuck In Customs

High Dynamic Range

In computer graphics and photography, high dynamic range imaging (HDRI) is a set of techniques that allows a greater dynamic range of exposures (the range of values between light and dark areas) than normal digital imaging techniques. The intention of HDRI is to accurately represent the wide range of intensity levels found in real scenes ranging from direct sunlight to shadows.

I am absolutely in love with the effect HDR gives to a scene. It’s so non-traditional that I know a lot of photographers don’t feel it is true to the art of photography, but I think it is a rare opportunity to evolve the artform. I think back through history when the invention of the photograph brought the practice of framing and perspective into use in finer arts, digital photography could leave a similar mark with HDR.

Interested in more on HDR? You can read up a bit more on the techniques of HDR at an amazingly informative article Stuck In Customs has. You can also check out this flickr page of a photographer who does some great HDR works as well as some very cool experimentations with HDR and Stereographic Projections (My favourite being here and here).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/07/hdr-imagery/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/#comments Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:22:36 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/ I recently did some work for my friends in Sherwood for their first headlining tour, dubbed Starry Nights & Salty Seas. The tour goes around the United Stated in vectors and along with Sherwood you can see The Matches or Houston Calls, The Higher and We Shot The Moon. The tour marketing art was based off the artwork of their LP, so it was just a lot of tweaking and refining and echoing the original style of the art, but it came together nicely. I also did a backdrop for the band, which I thought I would give you a look at here, where flashing lights and Rock N’ Roll won’t get in the way. I kept it fairly large, so anyone craving a new desktop wallpaper could give in to the craving.

I attended the Hollywood, CA stop of the tour, and it was quite the show. My personal highlight was when Sherwood covered The Get Up Kids “Holiday” (One of my all time favourite songs) and some guy in the crowd responded by flipping off the stage for the entire song. Guess you aren’t allowed to play TGUK’s without checking with him. Also, The Matches put on quite a performance, I never seem to get into their records, but everytime I see them live it makes me wonder why I don’t.

You can check out the tour dates here.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/06/starry-nights-salty-seas-tour/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/05/super-tuesday/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/05/super-tuesday/#comments Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:24:15 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/05/super-tuesday/ So recently I was un-registered to vote due to crimes against the State (I’m just trying to sound edgy, I have no idea why it happened), which is probably for the best because it forced me to register in Los Angeles County, where I actually live. Due to these events becoming known to me a little late in the game and me being lame, I didn’t get my new registration in on time. However, I am gonna practice transparency and share with all of you lovely people, who I support.

President of the United States of America*:
Republican Nomination: Mitt Romney
Democratic Nomination: Barack Obama

California Propositions:
Proposition 91: Yes (For humours sake, for those not in the know: The proponents of Prop 91 urge you to vote No)
Proposition 92: Yes
Proposition 93: No
Proposition 94: Yes
Proposition 95: Yes
Proposition 96: Yes
Proposition 97: No (They have “Hot Water”, I don’t trust them… only kidding, it’s a Yes for me)

* I also like to call this country Uniteria, because we act like we are the only thing in America that matters, we aren’t, or are we. At least Canada (dot) com gives you free email, we just give people pure hits.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/05/super-tuesday/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/03/obligatory-super-bowl-post/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/03/obligatory-super-bowl-post/#comments Sun, 03 Feb 2008 10:04:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/03/obligatory-super-bowl-post/ So last weekend, Kyle and I were discussing the hated Patriots and how bad of a backup Matt Cassel is. In honour of the Super Bowl, I thought I would share one of the two lists we came up with (The other was backup QB’s who are better than Matt Cassel, and is far too long):

Patriots players that would go in at Quarterback before Matt Cassel if Tom Brady went down in the Super Bowl:
1. Wes Welker
2. Matt Vrabel
3. Kyle Brady (As a decoy alone)
4. Troy Brown

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/03/obligatory-super-bowl-post/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/02/freedoms-in-education/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/02/freedoms-in-education/#comments Sat, 02 Feb 2008 19:50:06 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/02/freedoms-in-education/ I was always one of those people that went through our public eduction system “spitting and cursing”, so to speak. Granted I had my troubles behaving, and I was a class clown of sorts, but more than either of these I was a rabble-rouser. I very early on found myself wanting to challenge the system (think my entire family being teachers had anything to do with this), and even setting out to do things that would alone put me in a position to expose the injustices.

I was in a program in Elementary that was called “GATE”, I have no idea what it meant, but it was about as elitist a program as you could find. I was once informed by one of my “GATE” teachers that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. I had friends in my classes sure, but my real best friends were two boys who were by no means any less intelligent than I, and by all means applied themselves less and caused more trouble. I was told not to hang out with them anymore, me age 10, being told that my friends were not good enough for me. I grew up with those two in my life for many more years, had amazing memories made with them, and still have contact with them to this day.

In High School it was less about the system telling me point blank what I should do, and more about them telling everyone what we shouldn’t do. Over my years I witnessed headwear being banned, girls being told their straps on their tank tops weren’t thick enough, and oh by the way, anything sexy or attractive about the opposite sex will distract us from our tasks (me, personally, I always tried to impress the cute girls with my knowledge and charm). I took up the cause of thousands of other kids who sat in a class where they already knew everything in the text book when I refused to stay in my Calculus class (after being moved out of the Advanced Placement Calculus class at the first half of the semester for having a C).

In college it was me, in Oral Communications, refusing to do outlines for my speeches, because I simply didn’t need them to give speeches that were only graded B’s because of said lack of outline. It was me in Image Manipulation sticking up for the random kid who was getting butchered in review by one sole person for absolutely no reason. It was me in Digital Illustration refusing to use layers; having to correct the teachers lecture errors until I finally left the class. It was me in Drawing & Perspective refusing to shade the boring pieces of fruit; turning in a series of handgun illustrations on velum complete with red spray paint splatter and packaged in a “decon” mailing envelope. It was me in a constant battle with my AD over me; taking classes “out of order”, testing out of classes and dealing with grading injustices. It was me again, in my last stand, fighting against an automatic fail in my Law class (which was due to me missing too many classes, because my Mother was in the hospital).

Growing up today I would be driven insane by some of the control placed over kids and young adults; uniforms at school (though honestly I kind of wish I had to wear slacks and a sweet blazer every day), classrooms split up by gender, arts and music disappearing from the classroom, test scores being the only sign of progress. I mean look at how I shrug off “proper” grammar and “conventional” writing styles alone, I have become a monster. It is all this that has been brought into my mind by reading about the plight of one young man who it seems pretty evident is cast in a similar mold to my own. It’s a story more people should hear and care about. Taking away the freedoms of our youth, to me, is even more of a travesty than taking away the freedoms of a grown adult. We have a voice, we can vote, who will will speak for the youth?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/02/freedoms-in-education/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/super-bowl-logos/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/super-bowl-logos/#comments Fri, 01 Feb 2008 23:40:23 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/super-bowl-logos/ I found this great history of the Super Bowl’s logos out there on the internets. It’s interesting to see how far it has evolved (or devolved). Some of my most favourite logos are the classic ones from years ago, especially SBIX. The SBXXV logo is an absolute jewel and so perfect for the milestone it was, I can only hope in 2015 they come up with something that enhances on these same elements and theme for the 50th.

I have had a general distaste for most of the newer logos, but must admit a few of them have grown on me (including this years).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/super-bowl-logos/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/#comments Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:55:48 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/ Is it wrong that I’m looking forward to this tour more than anything this year? It is the absolute perfect line up to quench my inner urban self. I am officially forming a crew to journey with me to this event, bright all over printed hoodies and sweet kicks will be mandatory, call or write, don’t come strapped.

While you are getting ready, do yourself a favour and grab a pair of Stronger Shades (Okay they are sold out, you can find some on the bay though are back in stock).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/02/01/glow-in-the-dark/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/31/2008-a-space-origami/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/31/2008-a-space-origami/#comments Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:20:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/31/2008-a-space-origami/ Japan has found the replacement for the space shuttle, paper airplanes. Okay so it’s really just some experiments they are doing to potentially create more efficient ways to study the atmosphere, but that doesn’t change how weird this is. Leave it to Japan to find ways to make our experiments look snobby, elitist and unable to adapt (just like they did to our automobile industry).

The Daily Mail

The 8in-long paper dart – shaped like the Space Shuttle and weighing 11oz – has been treated with a chemical so it can survive temperatures of 200c as it re-enters the Earth’s atmosphere.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/31/2008-a-space-origami/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/#comments Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:44:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/ So the talent that is Peter Wentz wrote in his journal a week and a half back about how Cloverfield, or writer Drew Goddard, was in some way, shape, or form influenced by “Infinity On High”.

Peter Wentz

Drew Goddard, who we’re a big fan of, from buffy the vampire slayer and lost wrote this movie and based much of it on infinity on high- which i didn’t learn until after i’d seen the movie. now in retrospect he pointed to some of the lines specifically, mostly on “the takeover”. its interesting to see someone else’s interpretation of your songs. anyway, if you get a chance check out the movie (and keey your eyes open at the end).

Well this only makes my love for Cloverfield and FOB greater, but it turns out it was a little less Wizard Of Oz, a little more “inspiration”. Did you catch that clever little reference? Drew Goddard cleared it up with MTV today.

Drew Goddard

“To clarify … I was playing their album the whole time while writing ‘Cloverfield.’ I don’t want to undercut [the idea that the movie was inspired by FOB's album], but it was just that the album came out at the same time as I was writing the script, and the way I work, I need music on in the background, and I was playing it, so it was inspiring in that sense, so I told them it was inspiring,” Goddard said. “There may have been confusion as far as the movie being inspired by it — and I did mention the whole Pink Floyd/ ‘Wizard of Oz’ thing, because I bet you would see some crazy sh– there — but it certainly was not a track-by-track plan.”

Either way it’s refreshing to know the minds behind such a wonderful film enjoy some pop hits mixed in with all the the indie they slid into the film.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/30/clove-out-boy-or-cloverfield-on-high/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/#comments Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:06:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/ A few days ago I managed to secure a copy of “Rob’s Party Mix”, which was given out at the NYC Cloverfield Party that was effectively Rob’s Party. Supposedly there are only a few hundred of these things, you know how I love “limited edition, hand numbered” items and collecting music, so this will be a great addition to the collection. I should be receiving it any day in the post, but for those less fortunate I present “the list.”

Rob’s Party Mix:
1. Coconut Records – “West Coast”
2. Kings of Leon – “Taper Jean Girl”
3. Sean Kingston – “Beautiful Girls”
4. The Blood Arm – “Do I Have Your Attention”
5. Scissors For Lefty – “Got Your Moments”
6. Parliament – “Give Up the Funk”
7. Gorillaz – “19-2000″
8. Spoon – “The Underdog”
9. Kings of Leon – “Pistol of Fire”
10. Architecture in Helsinki – “Do The Whirlwind”
11. The Black Keys – “Grown So Ugly”
12. Bright Eyes – “Four Winds”
13. Joan As Policewoman – “The Ride”
14. Ratatat – “Seventeen Years”
15. Of Montreal – “Wraith Pinned To The Mist and Other Games”
16. Mucc – “Fuzz”

For those interested in assembling your own MP3 version of a great party mix, Hypeful has done the work for you.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/29/robs-party-mix/feed/ 4 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/28/iphone-zoom/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/28/iphone-zoom/#comments Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:26:28 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/28/iphone-zoom/ For all of those who, like me, know the iPhone is a way of life, this should be your next must have. That’s right, a zoom for your iPhone camera. I believe the specs are that the zoom attachment alone is twice as heavy as the iPhone, all in all this thing is just ridiculous.

Don’t you love the paper iPhone they used to display it? I think that is my favourite part.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/28/iphone-zoom/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/27/take-it-vertical/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/27/take-it-vertical/#comments Sun, 27 Jan 2008 23:43:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/27/take-it-vertical/ So a few days back I came across one of the most revolutionary websites out there. Most people make there site with some clever feature that is cool, but really serves no purpose and gets annoying at some point. It’s a challenge with doing something cutting edge on a website, not sacrificing usability. This was different, this presented an entirely different way of getting around a site; scrolling down. While you scroll through sections you get an entire story along the journey, and then when the time comes you don’t really want to scroll all the way back up/down you can click a link that takes you to pre-determined targets in the site. Not too mention as a person who is selling his creative services, it shows off his creativity exceptionally well. It blows me away every time I visit it.

May I introduce you to the portfolio of Bryan Katzel.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/27/take-it-vertical/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/#comments Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:30:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/ A few months ago I went to one of the West Coast premieres of a film called Helvetica in Laguna Beach. The film was directed by Gary Hustwit and is about, you guessed it, one of the most popular fonts ever, Helvetica. Kyle, Vincent and myself made the journey down to parts of the OC we rarely grace, and it was absolutely worth the trek.

Notable about this film is that a large portion of the music is by El Ten Eleven (with some The Album Leaf thrown in for good measure). El Ten Eleven is a band Kyle discovered a few years ago at some random show that is comprised of two men who loop guitars on the fly in unbelievable ways, and were the rhythm section of The Incredible Moses Leroy, whom I was quite fond of, whom were last performing as The Soft Lighties. Did you get all that?

David Carson also did the movie poster for the film, and guess what font he didn’t use? Helvetica of course, gotta admit that whole unpredictable thing is getting rather predictable. Anyway, you can now view the entire film right here, in this post. Go grab some popcorn, we will wait for you.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/26/helvetica/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/25/leopard-v-vista/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/25/leopard-v-vista/#comments Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:58:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/25/leopard-v-vista/ So a few months back, Engadget made a lovely comparison between Leopard and Vista. I think it is fairly relevant as I still almost weekly wind up in some Apple v. Microsoft conversation, and I think this is a really fair and accurate comparison that is at the same time interesting. Oh, and Leopard wins…

Engadget

There’s no doubt, Vista and Leopard are both extremely advanced, feature rich consumer operating systems. But way back in January when Vista launched knew we had little choice but pit the two in a head to head chartngraph Thunderdome competition. We know we’re not even going to be able to stop the epic fanboy arguments about break out over this one, so we just ask that you try to keep it fair. Leopard vs. Vista: it’s on.

Check out the comparing and contrasting. By the by, I’m not a fanboy, I’m an Apple Enthusiast.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/25/leopard-v-vista/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/lets-get-political-political/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/lets-get-political-political/#comments Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:51:17 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/lets-get-political-political/ Yeah, the whole primary thing is kind of a drag, the economy sucks, and everybody is over the war. However this piece that popped up over at CBS News is pretty interesting. I think there is far too much coverage about the “lies” that led us into what has become a tragedy of a war, and not enough on how this war was seemingly necessary due to “perceived misinformation”. This article which highlights moments from an upcoming 60 minutes interview with Saddam’s interrogator sheds some light on the other side of this wars beginnings.

George Piro, FBI

“For him, it was critical that he was seen as still the strong, defiant Saddam. He thought that [faking having the weapons] would prevent the Iranians from reinvading Iraq.”

I think we can all agree this war should end, and we should continue to work towards a lasting peace (if that is even a possibility), but maybe things like this will show us that the real truth with everything that has gotten us here is in a grey in-between, where lies and errors co-exist with truths and getting it right. Just alone, it is interesting to hear how concerned Saddam was with the possibility of Iran invading, and maybe this will reinforce the idea that they are a country worthy of caution.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/lets-get-political-political/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/#comments Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:46:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/ Cloverfield – Of course.
Weatherbox – Their new album American Art is quite lovely. Rocks a little heavy, lyrics like a prose.
“Tom Brady is a Yankee at heart” Shirts – I will be making these, he just deserves it. He is everything a Bostonian isn’t.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/24/random-recs-12408/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/#comments Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:05:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/ This morning on my way into work, I saw something that looked familiar, in a devastating way. The fear it invoked in me as I realised I had solved the mystery of Cloverfield was as equal as the excitement. There… staring back at me… in the sky… right there… on a Boys Town billboard of all places!

Okay, okay, so Boys Town just has a horrible logo. I even blew it up a bit and blurred it to make it look a little more mysterious for your viewing pleasure. I saw this thing this morning and was so confused, but then I found out Boys Town is a Jester training academy, so it makes total sense now.

The other night I apparently lured Brandon into all the Cloverfield side stories, and realised quite a few people might be missing out on some of the Cloverfield “Universe”. For those of you who didn’t geek out for months over Cloverfield, this should catch you up on a fair amount, but if you haven’t seen it, there are spoilers over there.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/23/i-found-the-cloverfield-monster/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/#comments Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:46:24 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/ So I saw Cloverfield last Friday. It was pretty much exactly what I was hoping for. The writing was spectacular, the character development was far deeper than what you normally find in Monster/Horror films, the cinematography was a work of art. I know a lot of people in the theatre I was in wanted it to be all about the monster, and were disappointed when it wasn’t and when it didn’t wrap up neatly; however these are the exact reasons why this film is already eating away at me to see it again.

I think the best description of what to expect of this film was by Abrams himself:

JJ Abrams on Cloverfield

“A Cameron Crowe movie meets ‘Godzilla’ meets ‘Blair Witch Project’…”

I absolutely love a movie filled with characters whom you see parts of yourself in, even their darker moments, and this movie does that to me in a way I haven’t experienced since “The Rules Of Attraction”. It’s innovative in a myriad of ways (amazingly so), but it’s backed up by the solid foundational elements most big budget films miss. This is the sort of genre shifting film that shows Hollywood; there are more talented actors out there than the regular big name stars they shove down our throats, there are more talented thinkers, writers and producers out there who still want the art of cinema to evolve, CGI and effects don’t have to be the main focus of a shot and can seamlessly fit with the live footage.

If you haven’t yet seen it, you need to; if you have already seen it, geek out over Slusho, jamieandteddy.com, and Tagruato and call me up for Round 2.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/cloverfielding/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/#comments Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:58:09 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/ So Chad Pearson just informed me the Heath Ledger was found dead in NYC this afternoon. The NY times fills in the details:

NY Times

“The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28.”

A man has passed far too before his time, and all I can help to think about is how lasting this will make his performance in The Dark Night, which opens this summer. I believe it is the final film he has completed, and if standing as his final performance, should be quite spectacular (and perhaps a fitting end to his career).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/22/heath-ledger-dead/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/21/kite-cargoing/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/21/kite-cargoing/#comments Tue, 22 Jan 2008 03:23:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/21/kite-cargoing/ It’s pretty amazing an idea like this has been so forthcoming. A company is finally finding a way to utilise wind power to propel cargo ships. SkySails is a company based out of Hamburg, Germany and as of 2008 these tow kites have gone into full production.

SkySails

By using the SkySails-System, a ship‘s fuel costs can be reduced by 10- 35% on annual average, depending on wind conditions. Under optimal wind conditions, fuel consumption can temporarily be reduced by up to 50%. Even on a small, 87 metre cargo ship, savings of up to 280,000 euros can be made annually.

Wouldn’t it be amazing how much oil could be saved just through cutting back 10-15% worldwide? The hows and sorts are wonderfully shows in this illustration.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/21/kite-cargoing/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/#comments Sun, 20 Jan 2008 18:13:19 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/ So last night I debuted the “RPJ, Live” portion of this website. I am not yet one for the immediate Twittr phenomenon that is sweeping peoples lives, frankly that scares me, however I figure bringing a few of the things about me I do regularly update on the internet into one nice little page would be a good starting point.

Amongst the things you will find here are Facebook status, Last.fm recently played, and Flickr photos. Hopefully it provides a little more insight into my days/nights.

The launch last night included me attempting to photo blog Kyle’s birthday extravaganza at Stingaree. So check that out if your interested.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/20/randall-paul-jenkins-live/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/#comments Sat, 19 Jan 2008 23:43:32 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/ The title of this post was also the cry of our rally last friday night. The evening started out with good enough intentions; celebrations of birthdays and friendships. Somewhere along the way, we were toasting 1998. I believe the facts would have you summing it up to the magic that is The Prospector. Now The Prospector is pretty much the legendary designation in Long Beach. Sure the trendy people will have you believe the Red Room is the place to be, but let me tell you this; the Red Room can never supply nights as legendary as The Prosp’ (as I like to call it). I will fully disclose that part of the magic of The Prosp’ is due to the fact that I have amazing friends, and together we rule the streets of Long Beach and take over The Prosp’ at a moments notice.

Let’s travel back in time to highlight some finer moments at The Prospector; Kyle and Randall playing “bridge the table” with empty glasses, someone demanding we all do shots of Jager and me pouring mine on the floor (where all Jager belongs), Kyle and Randall throwing silverware at booths, an endless number of ridiculously amazing bands playing in a room that fits about 12 people legally, and hanging out with (insert Celebrity here). Now all this leads you to a theory we have about The Prospector; You can’t not get drunk. It’s pretty amazing really, and we have tested this theory dozens of times, and failed every last effort.

So last Friday, the 12th of January, was an evening much like any other at The Prosp’. I was constantly trying to convince Brandon that he needed to do “Jager Bahhhms” because they are “Wicked Retahhhded”, but that was really just to honour Craig (And if Craig should somehow find this blog, just know I hate you and your love affair with Tom Brady, at least for this week). The main purpose of this night was Karaoke, that’s latin I believe, and the main purpose of Karaoke is to bring it all, or just don’t bother. Now my regular Karaoke songs include “Wonderwall” and “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” with a few deviations thrown in now and then (Boys II Men on Valentines Day at Big Wangs, anyone?), however I wasn’t gonna disrespect Kyle by performing either of the regulars without the other half of the duo.

I was feeling risky tonight, so I asked Lindsay for a suggestion, she replied “You know what song I always say is a great Karaoke song, and no one ever agrees with me?”, and I was into it, whatever it was. I told her to write it down, put my name on it, turn it in and I’ll sing it, at some point in time she let me know it would be Garth Brooks stalwart hit “I’ve Got Friends In Low Places”. So the rest of the night in preparation I sang my heart out, you see I have sang “IGFILP” before, circa 2001 at Poway Bowl, after already Karaoking until 1AM at Sliders, and I know that this Garth gem requires some rasp and deepness in a voice you can only accomplish by almost losing your voice completely.

If you weren’t there, you missed out, we nailed it. People were screaming, old guys were telling me I was everything they ever wanted to grow up to be, Brandon still wouldn’t do a Jager Bomb, a pregnant woman decided to name her unborn child Garth Randall Whateverherlastnameis, and other things someone would probably make up in their blog to impress you, but are in fact my reality. It was simply one of those nights you will always look back on and wish you had 3232989 pictures of, thankfully due to people I know we do have 3232989 pictures, I will spare you though and merely share 2.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/19/spring-break-98/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/#comments Fri, 18 Jan 2008 20:08:55 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/ I drive a red Mini Cooper S, it’s a lovely vehicle, apparently it works just as well on 2 wheels as the 4 I usually keep it on.

Two Wheels

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/18/mini/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/#comments Fri, 18 Jan 2008 01:41:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/ So the journalistic sub-genre of sports has been all a buzz this season about the San Diego Chargers Quarterback Philip Rivers. I am a proud supporter of “The Fourth” and of course am a huge Bolts fan, so it wouldn’t be shocking to learn that I sport the powder blue 17 on most Sunday’s. Granted this has led to a bit of a heated debate once or twice between my brother-in-law and I, as he loved Drew Brees (hey who didn’t, some of us have moved on) and thinks (like all the media) Rivers runs his mouth a bit too much.

Gregg Doyel wrote a fantastic piece about Rivers over at CBS Sportsline which I highly recommend reading. Doyel knows Rivers a bit more than the casual columnist as he covered Rivers college days at NC State.

Rivers’ honesty refreshing, but many don’t want to hear it

“This is one of the more fun guys in the NFL. He’s everything we say we want in a professional athlete. He talks to the media and says what’s on his mind. He shows unscripted emotion on the field. He pumps his fist and flaps his gums. He’s a professional football player, and you can tell how much fun he’s having.

And so we bitch and we gripe. Why? Because Rivers isn’t like everybody else. Never mind that we’ve already bitched and griped about athletes who are boring and talk in clichés and act aloof and seem to be playing for nothing more than a paycheck. Like Eli Manning. Never mind that we resent those guys for making football look like a miserable burden.

Here comes Philip Rivers, and he has some nerve — he’s nothing like those guys! Who does he think he is?” …

… “Philip Rivers isn’t like any of them. You know who he’s like? He’s kind of like us.”

This really couldn’t describe any more perfectly why I root for the guy. After he got drafted by the Chargers I started to hear some of the stories about his intensity and passion for the game, along with the fact that in 4 starting years he was the MVP of 5 bowl games, and you sort of got the feeling that this guy just loves football. When he steps out on the field he is the ultimate competitor and pours every ounce of everything he has into the game. Sure sometimes this backfires and he gets too pumped up and he throws a ball 4 feet over a WR’s head, sure the guy is still young and has a lot left to prove.

Rivers acts exactly the way I did when I played sports; talking all the way, stirring the rivalry and competition, loving every minute on the field. It’s perhaps why I relate so well to the guy, and why I find it so shocking that other sports fans don’t realise this guy is playing the exact same way they would. The truly refreshing thing about Rivers is that when it’s all over on the field, the switch turns off, and it stays there until the next time he steps out in competition.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/the-fourth/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/taking-literally-literally/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/taking-literally-literally/#comments Thu, 17 Jan 2008 16:13:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/taking-literally-literally/ Talk about taking literally, literally. This may be the best case ever of function and form taking there cues from something that was only supposed to be taken figuratively. However it is also the most amazing thing ever, and this alone tempts me to pre-order a MacBook Air.

I believe Kyle will be picking up an MBA, and if he doesn’t get one of these as well I will be sorely disappointed. I’m sure that will really be a huge part of his decision making process.

AirMail

The AirMail laptop sleeve is handmade out of durable upholstery-grade vinyl, and lined with fuzzy, soft fleece. All AirMail sleeves have the same dimensions as standard interoffice manila envelopes, which will serve to remind you — and everyone around you — that your new MacBook Air really is the thinnest laptop in the world!

You can order your very own handmade AirMail here.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/17/taking-literally-literally/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/#comments Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:47:11 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/ The LAist recently did an interview with Cloverfield director Matt Reeves. As many of you forget, Matt and JJ Abrams got their start together on Felicity (actually they got their start together on some small public access station, but pointing out they were involved in Felicity is much more fun).

I found the interview to be an enlightening look into how the viral-ness of Cloverfield snowballed so much that even the people closest to it were caught off guard. It’s amazing to see marketing change so much in front of our eyes that it becomes something that can literally grow past the scope of it’s intentions. Cloverfield’s marketing has done just that, something that could have been simply used to create an interesting backstory, has now created an entire universe that will surely be explored again.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/laist-interviews-matt-reeves/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/afc-championship-week/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/afc-championship-week/#comments Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:25:39 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/16/afc-championship-week/ So the “Excellence in Sports Performance Network” decided that merely beating a team twice in one season still doesn’t mean you are better than them.

Len Pasquarelli, ESPN

“Courtesy of San Diego’s upset victory Sunday at the RCA Dome, the world won’t get to see the NFL’s two best teams vying for the right to stretch the AFC’s Super Bowl winning streak to five by whipping an overmatched NFC opponent. And we won’t have an opportunity to see another chapter written in what has grown into an epic rivalry, one in which the two organizations just flat-out don’t like each other.

The next revisiting of New England vs. Indianapolis will have to wait for another day.”

It’s really annoying when people try to hold on to statements about one team being better than another (scoreboard, everytime) when the supposedly better team lost once, let alone twice, but to act like the Chargers and Patriots don’t have a far more heated rivalry than the Pats and Colts is just ridiculous.

Do you remember the team who went into Foxborough and ended the Patriots all-time home winning streak? Do you remember the team who came into the Q last year and upset the Chargers on some 4th quarter magic, then showed their lack of class on the 50? Too recent you say? Do you remember the team who won the AFL championship in 1961 by dismantling the Boston Patriots 51-10?

There is history, and this should be an absolutely great game to watch.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/15/afc-championship-week/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/#comments Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:06:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/ Judd Apatow likes to make movies we can all relate to.

I remember not long ago when I was dating the last famous girl I dated (coincidentally also named Kristen Bell), and things just started to feel different. I knew it had to end, and I knew it had to end in a flurry of comedy and consoling (maybe from Mila Kunis, someone like that).

Of course, I broke up with her, so I guess I can’t really relate much to Judd Apatow’s next movie after all. Oh well, maybe you can…

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/14/forgetting-sarah-marshall/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/this-could-tear-me-away-from-cbtl/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/this-could-tear-me-away-from-cbtl/#comments Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:02:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/this-could-tear-me-away-from-cbtl/ Apple filed some patent work a bit ago on to-go ordering in conjunction with the iPhone. It’s an amazing concept and fits right in with their work utilising network usability in brick and mortar stores. Apple’s first roll out of that concept of business to user interaction is the iTMS operability in Starbucks. It’s a pretty ingenious system I must admit, and can’t wait to see where Apple takes us with the new patent work.

Phil Lu some time ago worked up some mock ups that show us perhaps where this technology could be used. His concept has Apple teaming with Starbucks once again, and it should be noted Phil did these before the patent information from Apple became public knowledge.

You can see the rest of the concept right here. This is the sort of example of how the iPhone is beyond revolutionary, it has the potential to create new functions we never knew we needed, and makes life that much more fun.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/this-could-tear-me-away-from-cbtl/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/#comments Sun, 13 Jan 2008 19:30:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/ So during the facelift to the blog, I revised some of the behind the scenes stuff to make it easier to find via search engines and the like. Why do I set this post up with that? Because I don’t want you to think I just regularly “google myself” 5 pages deep. So I was looking through the results to see where things wound up, and found a spectacular jewel in all of that mess.

So somehow I clicked on this, which looked sort of a worthy click from the Google results. Here is where it got interesting; I actually know the last 2 people on that list quite well, though it really doesn’t designate why they show up (or any of the other people). So being as Matt and Brad are pretty interesting people in their outright, I clicked on each ones “Pipl profile” (I’m sort of confused Pipl seems to somehow track people’s instances on the internet, though when you go to it’s main page it just does “Deep Internet Searches”, so I am not sure if you can ever recreate this magical moment for yourself and your friends). I will now share you the highlights that only myself and 4 other people will think is even remotely funny (but hey that is twice as many people as read this website).

Matt Traxler:

Traxler was tagged with the loss and is now 0-2 on the season…

Brad Filip:

Filip is a Belgian freestyler…

If you decide to do some playing around over at those links you will find that I am apparently important enough to have people tagged with my name, but not important enough to have a profile that would deliver fictitious one liners about me. One can hope, one can dream.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/13/internets-internets-internets/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/12/inquisitor/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/12/inquisitor/#comments Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:45:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/12/inquisitor/ For all of my Apple loving friends out there, I present a bit of genius to you.

Cue some dramatic music…
Inquisitor.

It’s pretty much like what happens when Spotlight gets drunk, calls up Safari, and that sultry little temptress invites Spotlight over for a night of passionate meshing of features. It’s been around for a while, but version 3 is it’s strongest showing yet. I’m relatively one not to go all plug in crazy on my OS/Apps, but I think this is definitely a worthy improver on Apple’s glorious OS.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/12/inquisitor/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:26:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/ A few days back I ranted away on the opening of 826LA East.

Well, recently I discovered a spectacular video Judd Apatow and friends put together to promote this lovely little non-profit. It’s quite hilarious and Jonah Hill delivers a stunning performance to say the least. Enjoy.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/judd-apatow-is-brilliant/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 16:20:26 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/ This is probably, single handedly, the best thing to ever appear on my website.

Christopher Walken Mask By Brandon Bird

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/11/oh-how-this-will-change-your-life/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 01:29:23 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/ Seth Godin (who never worked in the music industry, until he started a label to prove a point), has decided to share with everyone the few things you can take away from the sinking ship, before it sinks. I wish more people in the music industry realised these things instead of denying the truth.

His first two points are such utter genius I must reproduce them here:

Things you can learn from the music business (as it falls apart)

The first rule is so important, it’s rule 0:

0. The new thing is never as good as the old thing, at least right now.
Soon, the new thing will be better than the old thing will be. But if you wait until then, it’s going to be too late. Feel free to wax nostalgic about the old thing, but don’t fool yourself into believing it’s going to be here forever. It won’t.

1. Past performance is no guarantee of future success.
Every single industry changes and, eventually, fades. Just because you made money doing something a certain way yesterday, there’s no reason to believe you’ll succeed at it tomorrow.

Do yourself a favour and read the rest of the article, especially those of you in the music industry.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/things-you-can-learn-from-the-music-business/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/#comments Thu, 10 Jan 2008 23:46:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/ Everyone in the iPhone blogosphere is all a buzz about David Lynch hating on the device and the the idea that you might watch a movie on your phone. I will merely add a few points to the pile of information before I show the absolutely hilarious video of Lynch; in which he does say a few words that one could describe as cursing, I however believe he is using them in an excellent use of emphasis.

Contrary to the internet this wasn’t something he did to rant about the iPhone, it is off the “Inland Empire” DVD bonus features. So in reality, it’s another person taking something and spinning it to hate on Apple. The man has his point, but true celluloidians feel just as passionate about the difference from projected film to digital home theatre viewing.

Watching a David Lynch movie on a phone is just as equal an experience to me as watching it in a theatre; no matter what you do, you still won’t understand it.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/10/david-lynch-believes-he-can-make-rational-points/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/#comments Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:08:37 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/ So I have been pretty much telling everyone on earth about this 5 minute clip of Cloverfield, JJ Abrams/Matt Reeves feature film about something-we-aren’t-allowed-to-know-what-it-is attacking New York City, and then I realised that I have a blog and should just put it up for viewing pleasure. Cloverfield comes out 1.18.08, and you can bet pretty much anything that I will be there that weekend to catch this one.

Most of you probably didn’t know I was a JJ Abrams fan, most of you also probably didn’t know that it’s not because of Lost, but because of 6º. 6º had something so appealing about it; real, genuine, honest, those kind of words. I only hope Abrams doesn’t disappoint with Cloverfield (or with ending Lost with my desired ending of no one living and never finding out what is really happening all the weird events on some island I don’t care about).

For those of you not in the know, Cloverfield has had a spectacular marketing campaign to accompany it (only slightly trailing The Dark Knight’s viral campaign). To catch up on all the clues and latest backstory of Cloverfield check out Cloverfield Clues.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/09/cloverfield/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/#comments Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:15:16 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/ So a few weeks back Jordan Percy and I attended the opening gala of 826LA East/Echo Park Time Travel Mart in Echo Park. For those of you not familiar with 826, it is a writing/tutoring center that gives free help to students during the day, and hosts some pretty lovely workshops for the young at heart in the evenings. 826 Valencia was the first chapter, opening in San Francisco with the influence of one David Eggers. It has since caused a revolution in greater metropolitan areas and grown to seven chapters supported by 826 National. Things like this are good for our society, you see I was never taught how to write correctly and now all of you have to suffer with my overuse of commas, semi-colons and run on sentences (just kidding, 99.9% of my family are teachers, I just choose to write this way to be “artistic”).

The Echo Park Time Travel Mart is a fun little shop full of trinkets and empty packages spouting clever words on their packaging. All of the proceeds go to support 826LA and it’s programs, and this clever little store will surely have something worth picking up and making your boring house more interesting. Jordan and I chose “Robot Emotions”, because, well, because, who doesn’t love an emo robot?

Anyway, the event was absolutely wonderful, in an absolutely amazing space, with absolutely more impressive people than me. I decided to post a couple pictures showing just how amazing this event was (the fireplace in this room literally blows my mind, I mean that literally, like the proper use of it), and if any of you fair persons should be able to locate Jordan and myself in the photos, there will be some sort of prize. Of course with any internet based contest, there are rules. The rules are; people who are named Jordan Percy, Brandon Chamberlain, Lindsay Strannigan, Edward Norton, Judd Apatow, Michael Cera, Jenny Lewis, Spike Jonze and David Eggers are exempt from winning any prizes. Sorry.

Photos courtesy of Andy Barron:

Hint #1: Jordan and I are class acts.
Hint #2: Jordan and I were being stalked by a girl in a red dress, though I’m not sure if that is really pertinent to the photos.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/08/826la-east-opening/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/#comments Tue, 08 Jan 2008 01:36:09 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/ Yesterday marked my second adventure in San Diego Chargers playoff football. The first experience left me quite disheveled, and had they lost this time around I may have banned myself from attendance. Thankfully, Philip “The Fourth” Rivers lived up to his nickname (so what if Kyle and I failed at our many attempts to have this information stick on his Wikipedia entry, he is “The Fourth”) and led the Chargers to quite a solid 3rd and 4th quarters of football.

The rain and clouds provided quite the ambiance to add to the ridiculously high energy at “The Q” and I loved every minute of it.

The fabled Jordan Percy was present for said activities, and even led an expedition up Mount Ikea-Shortcut-To-The-Trolley. Jordan also has pirate facial hair currently, inspired by one Jack Sparrow, you should check it out.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/07/playoffs/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/06/creepy-name-brilliant-idea/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/06/creepy-name-brilliant-idea/#comments Mon, 07 Jan 2008 00:23:51 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/06/creepy-name-brilliant-idea/ So the lovely Lindsay Strannigan sent me this the other evening. It’s pretty much the best thing ever if you are into really non-manly things like cuddling and sleeping. I however, would never.

Ladies & Gentlemen the Love Mattress.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/06/creepy-name-brilliant-idea/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/#comments Sat, 05 Jan 2008 16:02:26 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/ So as some of you noticed a few weeks back, I had some issues with comments after I updated WordPress to version 2.3.1.3.4.5.4.3.2 due to my horribly coded blog. This led me to the dark moment of using random templates, which I tried to at least keep fresh by rotating through the templates every few days, in order to have the more important function over form.

Well here I am, a few days late, letting you all know my dream of a lovely minimalist blog is now pretty much reality. I stole a ton of code from random people who probably hate me, I got my dreams of minimalism after realising how perfect of a website McSweeney’s is for them, I even added Google AdSense (get excited). I figured a new year is always a good time for a fresh look, though this one will probably stick around for a while.

Enjoy yourselves, whoever it is that actually reads this thing, I thank you for thinking I am worth directing your browser of choice to my little piece of the Internet.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/05/revisionist-theories/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/#comments Sat, 05 Jan 2008 00:01:58 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/ Everyone’s favourite Emo Rap sensation Atmosphere have made available an album of thirteen songs to chase away the winter doldrums. They claim that one, I sort of like winter doldrums so no chasing them away for me. It’s called “Strictly Leakage” and pretty much exactly what you would expect from Sean Loves Ugly Girls and Ant. Download it here.

They also claim:

It’s great for first dates, crappy houseparties, or to play in the backround while you google yourself again.

Im currently googling myself, and can tell you that it really does set quite the mood.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/freemosphere/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/#comments Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:27:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/ Let me start by saying this:

There were plenty of amazing albums/songs/books/films/shows this year;
There were plenty of mindblowing Indie darling albums that are at least 87 million times better than all the albums I list below. Problem is, I didn’t listen to those albums, I listened to these albums. Best of lists are no good for trying to impress people, be honest about what you listened to.
There were plenty of hit songs that were played on the radio constantly and in all kinds of commercials, my list might have 3.
There were plenty of books written by one author, actually read all the way through by the reader, and making NY Times lists. I didn’t partake in much of that foolish snobbery, I do things a little different.
There were plenty of great films that I saw this year, and most of them came out in 2006. Oops. Time for speculation.
There were plenty of television shows I loved this year. Most of them have been canceled.

Here are my addictions of 2007. Some I am speculating I will be, eventually, addicted, or I am addicted to the idea of liking it, or I like something about someone involved, or I almost knocked the author down a few weeks ago. I have really high standards for these sort of things.

Albums (Completely Consumed Me In A Wall Of Sound):

1. Jimmy Eat World – Chase This Light
2. Kanye West – Graduation
3. Say Anything – In Defense Of The Genre
4. Fall Out Boy – Infinity On High
5. Maritime – Heresay And The Hotel Choir
6. The Starting Line – Direction
7. Cassino – Sounds Of Salvation
8. Lovedrug – Everything Starts Where It Ends
9. Spoon – Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
10. Rocky Votolato – The Bragg & Cuss

Songs (That Required Way To Much Use Of Repeat), Amongst Spectacular Albums:

1. Tegan and Sara – Back In Your Head
2. Silverchair – Straight Lines
3. Jamie T – Sheila
4. William Tell – Fairfax
5. Marie Digby – Umbrella (Note: This is not amongst a “Spectacular Album”, but I listened to it roughly 2.3 million times, so there)
6. Band Of Horses – Is There A Ghost
7. Cartel – Lose It
8. Foo Fighters – The Pretender
9. Feist – 1 2 3 4
10. Modest Mouse – Fire It Up

Best Album Artwork/Packaging (I’m A Sucker For A Complete Package):

1. Menomena – Friend And Foe
2. Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank (Deluxe Edition)
3. Kanye West – Graduation
4. The Graduate – Ahnedonia
5. Sigur Ros – Hvarf/Heim (EP) & Heima (DVD)
6. Fall Out Boy – Infinity On High
7. Minus The Bear – Planet Of Ice
8. Interpol – Our Love To Admire
9. Matt Pond PA – Last Light
10. Smashing Pumpkins – Zeitgeist (Deluxe Edition)

Books (You Can Buy All These Here):

1. Bowl Of Cherries – Milard Kaufman
2. McSweeney’s 24 – Various
3. One Hundred And Forty Five Stories In A Small Box – Various
4. What Is The What – David Eggers (Only On This List Because It’s Eggers)
5. McSweeney’s 25 – Various

Films (Not, Movies):

1. Transformers
2. 300
3. National Treasure: Book Of Secrets
4. The Bourne Ultimatum
5. The Assassination Of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford
6. Superbad
7. 3:10 to Yuma
8. I Am Legend
9. Juno
10. The Darjeeling Limited

Television (Trendy People Say It Rots Your Brain, They Also Heard That Hanging Out All Day On The Internet):

1. Dexter
2. Heroes
3. How I Met Your Mother
4. Veronica Mars (RIP)
5. Traveler (RIP)
6. Scrubs
7. Jericho
8. 6º (RIP)
9. Entourage
10. Psych

Video Games (Warning: I Am NOT One Of Those Elitist Gamers Who Play Obscure Games And Everything That Comes Out, Sorry My List Is Wrong And Missing All The Good Games):

1 (T). Assassin’s Creed
1 (T). Halo 3
3. Rock Band
4. Guitar Hero 3
5. Guitar Hero 2

Technology Devices (That Made My Life Better):

1. iPhone
2. Roomba 570

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/04/the-best-of-2007-lists/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/#comments Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:56:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/ I of course, have neither.

An Even More Elaborate Halo Suicide

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2008/01/03/someone-has-way-too-much-time-on-their-hands-and-a-functioning-xbox-360/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/28/so-this-is-christmas/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/28/so-this-is-christmas/#comments Fri, 28 Dec 2007 18:44:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/28/so-this-is-christmas/ I am very late in wishing everyone a very happy “you and yours”. While we are here I might as well wish you a Happy New Year as well because I am bound to miss that one too.

I headed South to San Diego once again with a car full of luggage, presents and one Grandmother. It was an easy drive, and my Grandmother kept me entertained with some simply amazing stories. Then I got a phone call from my Sister. She was calling because she knew I would be heading over to my Mom’s and thought I should know she was not there but was in the Hospital. These Hospital trips are not quite the freak out they once were, as they happen every now and then to try to keep whatever ailment from getting to a threatening situation, but a welcomed holiday tradition they are not.

I did get to enjoy a lot of time over at my Sister’s house, which was lovely to see a lot of the baby niece, which was quite a positive side effect. Christmas Eve was a whirlwind of some last minute shopping, Hospital visits and football. Christmas Day was food preparation, more Hospital visits, being late places, amazing presents, leaving early, last minute wine runs, cooking for 10, doing dishes forever and a finale at the Hospital. Finally the day after Christmas the doctors said my Mom could come home, so we finished up the Holiday season by celebrating the last of Christmas a day late. It mattered little what day it was, it was just good to have a little normalcy to hold on to.

Twas not the ideal holiday season, but in a lot of ways it had a more lasting effect on me. I wish only that I could have seen more of my friends that reside in the city I grew up in; that I could have had more California burritos while I was there.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/28/so-this-is-christmas/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/19/this-was-supposed-to-be-my-political-platform/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/19/this-was-supposed-to-be-my-political-platform/#comments Thu, 20 Dec 2007 03:36:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/19/this-was-supposed-to-be-my-political-platform/ I have often been told in my life that I would make a good lawyer (because I argue), and so at some point I decided this meant I would make a good politician. I thought about running for the water board, mainly because I thought it would be the easiest route. When you are running for office you have to have a platform, and of course to generate any sort of buzz you should pick at least one issue that is feasibly impossible to change at this time in our life (See Ron Paul, I know your game).

For me, my platform was unsolicited physical junk mail. It kind of hilarious how everyone wants to go “green” and everyone is concerned with “Inconenient Truths”, well how about this truth; I get exactly 1.3 square miles of paper growing forest worth of junk mail in my mailbox every month (Note: That stat is completely made up). So you see, the real issue of our isn’t energy, taxes, or urban sprawl, it’s the USPS backed selling of our mailbox space.

Let me give you a little factual information here; you cannot opt out of Direct Mail Marketing/Pre-Sorted Mail, you cannot ask your mail carrier to not put it in your mailbox (even if it means your mailbox is full after one day)(Note: I do understand you can do this in Canada), you have to dig between coupons for things you don’t want and offers for even more credit cards to find your real mail.

Well today I discovered the first pillars of support for what will one day be my platform for office:
The Consumer Credit Reporting Companies opt-out website. This website lets you opt out of receiving Credit or Insurance offers which is at least a start. I am not yet sure how well it works, and to go permanent you have to print out, sign and mail in a form (lame, lame and lame), but at least you have a say in some of the mail you receive.

There are also some more options the Direct Marketers Association has made available via their website, however some require you paying, most don’t guarantee anything (just like the no not call list, really doesn’t help much with no way to enforce it) and there is some funny business with who pays for this “Association” to exist (word is the Direct Marketers themselves pay for this service so they can hit you with advertising you deem acceptable). For some, it may prove helpful.

Another great ally against the fight is the Center for Democracy & Technology (I am a huge fan of technology, this democracy thing I am not so sure about though). They dedicate a portion of their website to “Opting-Out”.

I firmly stand by that people should be pushing for a democracy where we don’t have to spend our own time and money trying to make companies respect their potential customers. If you have a good product, I probably know about it and I probably will be purchasing it soon. I do not need a mailbox full of things I won’t even look at. It’s a new world of marketing and there are much more effective and less destructive ways of gaining brand awareness.

Additionally I encourage everyone who is sick of these things to use the postage paid reply envelopes that these companies include to send them either; their own junk, other companies junk or slices of rotting fruit.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/19/this-was-supposed-to-be-my-political-platform/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/07/exposuring-of-the-long-type/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/07/exposuring-of-the-long-type/#comments Fri, 07 Dec 2007 23:23:41 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/07/exposuring-of-the-long-type/ The new craze these days with the kids is lightwriting. It’s the new tagging, and it is drawing me in more and more. I have always loved long exposure experimentation with SLR’s and the freedom that digital brings to you in this realm is amazing. I remind you of the early RPJ/KJD collaboration titled “Running Over Myself”.

For those of you not familiar with the lightwriting process, the new Sprint campaign is using it, and these guys here are doing some phenomenal things with the medium. So now I am sort of getting an itch to leave the shutter open (so to speak), and will surely be venturing out onto the concrete jungle of LBC for some late night light bombing.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/12/07/exposuring-of-the-long-type/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-desparately-obvious-so-obviously-desperate/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-desparately-obvious-so-obviously-desperate/#comments Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:58:43 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-obvious-yet-so-disheartening/ The music industry is full of people who are not innovative, not in touch with their target demographic, and don’t understand marketing basics, it’s true, I had a nice little stint in this dying industry. Wired Magazine, recently interviewed one of the Major Label CEO’s, Doug Morris of Universal, and the results are pretty startling, even I was shocked at what this guy admits to.

Doug Morris, Universal CEO

“There’s no one in the record industry that’s a technologist,” Morris explains. “That’s a misconception writers make all the time, that the record industry missed this. They didn’t. They just didn’t know what to do. It’s like if you were suddenly asked to operate on your dog to remove his kidney. What would you do?”

“We didn’t know who to hire,” he says, becoming more agitated. “I wouldn’t be able to recognize a good technology person — anyone with a good bullshit story would have gotten past me.”

The sad part about this is of course the affect it takes on our beloved music and artists, and how people like this are appointed CEO’s of huge corporations is beyond me. I stand by my patented “R. P. Jenkins Corporate CEO Fix-all”, where you replace all major executives with the top 5 graduates from Harvard Business School, and many other fine educational systems who look forward, and pay them millions a year less to make you millions a year more (while still paying them more than they would make at any other job).

Note: Ford Motors should also adopt said strategy.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/27/so-desparately-obvious-so-obviously-desperate/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/22/random-recommendations-112207/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/22/random-recommendations-112207/#comments Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:04:06 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/22/random-recommendations-112207/ So it has been a while since I have spewed out a list of what I am currently loving.

Maritime – The new album “Heresy and the Hotel Choir” is fabulous in a way that I really needed lately. Got me back into “We The Vehicles” as well, which is such an under-appreciated album.
Roomba – Yes I am that lazy, and yes I simply love it. I am deciding on a name currently, and Roombtacular the Mighty is the current odds-on favourite.
Say Anything – Max is pretty much “everyman”, and that is why his music is so addicting.
Catcher In The Rye – You guys know my obsession, deal with it. It’s an amazing novel. Quick weekend read got me so ready to buy this Fedora I have been eyeing.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/22/random-recommendations-112207/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/#comments Thu, 22 Nov 2007 05:10:17 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/ I was reading a fairly interesting write up on “Internet Crush Du Jour” Kristen Sloan (The Winger, Apple’s iPhone Ad), and my mind started spinning a bit on some things.

Firstly, what made this girl so captivating? If you are a guy, and a guy who is into Apple, you totally were into her simple look, her being a ballerina, her using Apple. It was a great decision on Apple’s part because she is exactly the kind of girl you hope will randomly appear in your life to help with your addiction to Apple. Her website got a huge rush of traffic to it, which is weird because: why would people go to a “behind the tu-tu” ballet website? My excuse was that I have dated a ballerina or two, so I am allowed to revisit these things as some kind of healing process. Right, right? Anyway, the surprising thing is her website is pretty spectacular; Well designed, unique idea, loyal niche following (Sidenote: I am really into colons/semi-colons today, even if it means using them incorrectly). I feel like a lot of people visiting her site might have been drawn into it because of similar-to-my-own second hand ballet experiences; crushes on ballerinas, dreams of being a ballerina, crushes on the girl in the iPhone commercial who happens to be a ballerina. It’s a very interesting concept in a marketing sense. Could the NYCB could have paid for more exposure? Probably not, and kudos for realising her abilities and rewarding her with her new position.

The secondary cloud spinning in my head is about the story of her and her boyfriend. I’m sure this story crushed a few people hoping to somehow sweep Miss Sloan off her feet, but it in and of itself says so much about how our world has changed. I had no idea what dodgeball.com was, until this story. It looks interesting, but I am yet to cave into the world of telling everyone where I am at the time I am actually there (I much rather prefer hearing people tell me I was someplace I never was at). The truly interesting thing is the ease that this seemingly “everywoman” has of discussing meeting her boyfriend on, in simpler terms, the invisible world. I know people who have dated people they met online, I know some truly amazing people that I met through the Internet (in varying degrees).

It really makes you think of how you “meet” people, and people’s hang ups on meeting people in “non-traditional” ways. People still get caught up in admitting their significant other was once just a MySpace message, random IM, or fellow website visitor. I decided to mentally list out how I met the people in my life who make regular appearances (meaning I talk to them on a regular basis, stemming over years) to see where I fit in. The summary is that of 10-12 people who are regularly in my life I; met the one’s I am the closest to in a way not involving technology (unless going to college for graphic design counts), stay more in touch with the ones I can email/IM than those I have to call, only one of them was I ever “buying dinner” (those who know me well, know this is what I call the purgatory between full on dating and being friends) on a regular occasion, I have met people because of music websites and online video games who are now very good friends (such a dork).

What does all this tell us? That I am apparently not hip to the times. I utilise technology to meet new people and stay in contact with people I already know constantly, and don’t have many reservations about it. However, I still tend to be pretty “traditional” for as much of a tech-dork as I am. In reality, I think this world is changing, while staying the same. For people to have a lasting effect on us we need to see, hear, feel, smell and touch them, not just read them. I know for many the “invisible world” presents interaction in a more convenient way, and perhaps we find it just as convenient to walk away from people we meet that way.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/21/the-way-people-meet-people/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/#comments Tue, 20 Nov 2007 23:11:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/ I spent quite a few hours this weekend with my good friend Chad Pearson who was out here visiting from the ATL. Somehow I have a ton of friends in Atlanta, where did that come from? Chad convinced me to buy way too much vinyl, and then was kind enough to let me purchase some hot off the presses P is for Panda gear. Chad and I used to go to Best Buy every Tuesday and spend way too much money on music, somehow I used to be the voice of reason that would talk him out of buying way too much (though I once calculated I spent $600+ one month at Best Buy alone, without major purchases). This time Chad was trying to be my voice of reason, but he failed terribly, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

It was incredibly amazing to see Chad again and we always spend hours discussing the days of old, and how things used to be. It made me realise that we are both really happy to be where we are right now, no matter what trials come daily and what more is sure to come. I also have come to understand that Bank of America has way cooler ATM’s than WaMu. For those of you not in the know, Chad has a company called P is for Panda that is doing things different.

It is because of these earlier events that I announce my full fledged support for Vinyl, and eliminate buying cd’s if the vinyl comes with the digital downloads. I don’t know how I was missing out on this for so long, but I was. I’m addicted, and you should join me. Is Vinyl better for the environment or something? Maybe I can go green?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/20/weekend-reminiscing/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/#comments Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:13:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/ ESPN.com is reporting the following about R. Williams:

ESPN

“Williams wasn’t on the field for the start of practice Thursday. Instead, he watched from behind a window in the players’ lounge as he ate an apple.”

Do you really think it’s a good idea to give this guy an apple?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/15/ricky-williams-loves-the-apple/feed/ 2 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/#comments Tue, 13 Nov 2007 21:29:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/ Quote of her life:

Paris Hilton

“The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them.”

Next up for Miss Hilton is the terrible plight we have allowed to terrorize the Lemmings.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/11/13/there-are-so-many-things-named-paris-that-i-dislike/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/10/25/california-and-it-being-on-fire/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/10/25/california-and-it-being-on-fire/#comments Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:22:36 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/10/25/california-and-it-being-on-fire/ So once again California is on fire.

Just on Saturday I was down in San Diego, remembering events from 4 years past (not the fires), and then suddenly Sunday events from 4 years past (the fires) were happening all over again. It has been a pretty crazy week.

My Sister (due to give birth to her first child at any moment) and her husband had to evacuate from their first house, which they moved into only weeks ago. From what I can tell the fire was as close as a few miles to their neighborhood, but all seems to have gone well. My Mother evacuated that same night, it would become mandatory the next day for her neighborhood, but things appear to be okay now there as well. The fire rages on though, to the northeast.

Four years ago we evacuated my Mom’s house, wearing scars of scratching cats as battle wounds, and expected our Cabin in Julian to be lost. Once again Julian is threatened, and the small back country (well as back country as something in California can be) town will come together and fight like mad to save itself. I lived in San Diego County for the first 24 years of my life, and only in the 24th did I ever have to evacuate or truly feel the imminent threat of what these fires could bring. I think wildfires to a lot of people are not as much the tragedy as an earthquake or hurricane, but the psychological effect I gather is much the same. And now evacuations have surpassed those of Katrina, the local government taking so much necessary caution by making people get out before it really became life threatening or impossible to evacuate. The loss of possession is tragic, but the reaction of leadership and sense of community is in a somber way encouraging.

I reflect upon these fires to the south because most of me still considers San Diego my home. It’s where I’m “from”, it’s where I never intended to leave. I have family and friends spread out across the county, and none have been safe from the threat one shift in flames could bring. That image up above (Photo Credit: Brad Filip), that is Encinitas, maybe 10 blocks from the Pacific Ocean. At one point in the week both major interstates heading north, and the one interstate heading east out of San Diego were closed because of the fires. I think that makes a statement the news has failed to show. Up here in Los Angeles county we get hours and hours of a Malibu fire that has destroyed or damaged 22 structures, meanwhile an entire metropolitan area to the south is an island in a sea of flames.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/10/25/california-and-it-being-on-fire/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/#comments Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:34:29 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/ I just got my copy of One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box from McSweeney’s today, which is the first of my year long subscription in their book club, a gift from my lovely Mother (thank you Mom). On the sheet of paper that is shrink wrapped to the back of the gorgeous packaging are a bunch of words to tell you about the three hardcover bound collections that await inside, on the back of that sheet is the following:

Sheet of paper that is shrink wrapped to One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box

I dont know why it came down to me to tell you about this, but anyway, here goes: if you don’t buy at least ten books a year, you’ll be struck by lightning, or maybe a bus. It’s the new rule. Yeah. You’ll probably be sent a more official notice in the mail pretty soon, but for now, you’re hearing it from me. Ten books a year, or the bus or lightning, each of them very painful and likely deadly. Is the rule a bit harsh? Well, maybe. Some people might think so, but then again, those people won’t be with us very long, because anyone who complains about the rule will be disemboweled by bears. Again, not my idea–I’m just the messenger here!–but that’s the way it is. I don’t know why you’re worried though. Just buy the ten books a year, and don’t whine about it, and you won’t be struck by anything or have your insides ripped out by a grizzly. Doesn’t seem so complicated, really. Also, make sure you buy the right kinds of books, or else someone in a cardigan will push you off a building. Again, nothing to worry about: just buy the best kinds of books, not the bad ones, or else you’ll be looking over your shoulder pretty much forever. And you can’t read that way, anyway, so it all works out.
–DE

David Eggers is one of my all time favourite human beings on this planet, and that ladies and gentlemen, is one small slice of why.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/26/the-new-rules/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/#comments Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:09:56 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/ So I thought it would be fun to start throwing out random things I am currently supporting, and see how it makes the rest of the world feel.

Everything Bagels – I’ve been going back to an old friend here, and it’s making every day start out right.
Kanye West – Love everything this guy does, I think I once said I would vote for him for President. Well “Stronger” makes the fist clench, but “Homecoming” is my favourite off “Graduation”.
The Dresden – As in, The Dresden, from “Swingers”. We shall be there tonight actually, bring a suit.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/09/20/random-recommendations-92007/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/#comments Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:28:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/ If you are into music and read my little piece of the internet, you should already be listening to the following;
Earlimart
Cartel
The Honorary Title
The Starting Line
All their newest releases from the past month or so. They are all fantastic. You like how I sprinkled some Indie into the pop that is my life?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/28/be-on-the-lookout/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/#comments Sat, 04 Aug 2007 06:33:11 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/ This week I got the message loud and clear that the Metropolitan area of Atlanta loves me and has some quality people in it’s environs. Thank you those who called, thank you those who drove in a van to play shows. If you are from Atlanta and missed out on “The ATL loves Randall” week, there are 2 days left… so make it count.

Wednesday I made my way to the Roxy in Hollywoodville to see Holiday Parade play their first LA show ever. Kate Beckensale and her family were even out to see the band. Underworld 3 soundtrack? Maybe. The show was great, and being able to finally spend some time with these guys was even better. I cannot stress enough what amazing people these guys are, talented musicians and class acts through and through. If you are able, catch their path around the States that we call a tour, Scotty their merch guy will honestly make your life 500 times better on his own. I took the following picture on Wednesday, I do things like this on occasion.

The real entertainment came after the show when we headed over to the after party for The Format’s show. Brandon Chamberlain was aces as usual, and I told Chavez I expect to see him out at the next march. I gave these two scholars a ride back to Long Beach because Brandon lost his car… and Lindsay… who was in his car… passed out… and no one could find her… or the car… sorry Linny.

Thursday was back at it again with the HP guys, this time in Santa Ana. The venue seemed newer (read: it was interesting) but the kids there sure do support the bands, good to see. We got in some great conversation at various times in the evening, and _____ (name witheld to protect further damage to his ability to pull) definitely stole the show with his stories of romance. His absolute finest moment came when he told us a story about how he had an “encounter” with a young lady who later went on to tell her sorority sisters that he wasn’t good in bed. What did _____ do to rebuke such claims? Tell the sisters that he just couldn’t get it up, of course.

I will basically miss anyone who currently resides in Georgia for the rest of the weekend. Thank you all.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/08/03/holidizzle-paradizznatch/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/#comments Tue, 17 Jul 2007 00:28:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/ The absolute front runner for the “things that made me fall out of my chair in pure hilarity” award today has to be the story about a video game developed by some Iranian guys called “Rescue The Nuke Scientist”. Yes, this is real. Apparently this is the first Iranian made Nuclear Energy video game.

AP

An Iranian hard-line student group unveiled a new video game Monday that simulates an attempt to rescue two Iranian nuclear experts kidnapped by the U.S. military and held in Iraq and Israel.

The “Rescue the Nuke Scientist” video game, designed by the Union of Students Islamic Association, was described by its creators as a response to a U.S.-based company’s “Oregon Trail” game, which depicts an American attack on an Iranian nuclear facility. (Okay, I edited that… it’s really in response to “Assault on Iran”, but I envision this Iranian game being a lot like “Oregon Trail”.)

“This is our defense against the enemy’s cultural onslaught,” Mohammad Taqi Fakhrian, a leader of the student group, told reporters Monday.

If you are worried you can’t get your hands on a copy, have no fear…

AP

Fakhrian said his group was trying to market the video game first in Iran and other Muslim countries. But the group also has plans to bring the game, which comes on a CD for computers, to Western countries, he said.

… I honestly kind of expected a floppy disk release.

If you wonder what kind of people create such things…

AP

The game comes from the same student group that was behind the infamous “World Without Zionism” conference in 2005 where President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called for Israel to be “wiped off the map.”

… remember how crazy that guy sounds when he opens his mouth, speaks Iranian, then someone translates him? Okay, I have to admit that pull quote is rather boring, I just wanted to bring up President Mahmoud “Crazy” Ahmadinejad. I miss the guy, what’s he been up to lately?

Since that pull quote sucked, this one will be twice as good…

AP

Ali Reza Masaeli, leader of the group that designed the new game, said it took three years for his technical team to produce it. The team was based in Isfahan, a city in central Iran that houses a nuclear site.

… three years? For a video game? …

AP

“It is an entirely Iranian product in response to the U.S. cyber war against Iran,” Masaeli said.

… well, looks like there is at least one war we are winning hands down, the “cyber war against Iran”. If it takes them three years to make a video game, are we really that worried about Nuclear Weapons?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/07/16/coming-soon-to-a-gaming-platform-near-you-but-probably-in-a-windows-95-version/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/#comments Fri, 22 Jun 2007 17:56:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/ So last evening my roommate Kyle, whom some of you out there in blogopolis already know, and I decided to make a trip down to South Coast Plaza. As we were walking out the door, I realised I still had my iPod, in it’s lovely G-Star carrying case, attached to me. I decided to go with it, but shortly after Kyle noticed it as well and found it to be unnecessary considering he was driving and his iPod was in his car. He asked, “Why are you taking your iPod?” I of course had already planned for this exact scenario, “It’s my accessory” and when that didn’t convince him I simply asked “What if there is an iPod emergency?” Kyle responded, “An iPod emergency? Umm, Okay.”

So after shopping we were driving home and began discussing playing Dashboard Confessional for various reasons I cannot confirm nor deny. I agreed with the selection as long as it was “Vindicated”, and Kyle stated that if that was off the new album he didn’t have it. When I informed him it was off the Spiderman 2 Soundtrack, he affirmed he didn’t have that either. Of course, not one to miss a perfectly set up moment I yelled out “iPod Emergency”, and with a few rips of velcro we had “Vindicated” flowing through the speakers. Now how that lead into “Screaming Infidelities” being sung at the top of our lungs, well that I just really can’t put my finger on.

The moral of this story is either “One iPod is never enough” or “Don’t mess with Access-ories”.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/22/ipod-emergencies/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/#comments Wed, 13 Jun 2007 08:26:39 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/ So you might all remember a few posts back I tipped my hand about one of my (read: every male on this planet) weaknesses, the lip bite. Well tonight as I was looking at the random and strange ways people get to this little piece of the internets I call my own, I stumbled across some gems. I bring them to you tonight because we can all stand a little more education.

The original search that directs people to me can be found here.

1) You all know my infatuation with Britons, and apparantley the UK translation of Cosmo (In Queens English, I assume) has some amazing message board topics. Don’t believe me? Here are my favourite pull quotes:

Svetlana

“Bite your lower lip slowly as if your trying to eat up some of the lip gloss off your lip. It drive them nuts!- Just don’t make it so obvious.”

Of course we start with a lip bite discussion, that is why we are here after all. I will add to all the hopeful rosebuds out there that “Svetlana” is benefitting highly from being named “Svetlana” and also from her accent (or maybe I created that in my head when I read “It drive them nuts!), how Russian.
Don’t worry we have more accents for you…

TrAr

“A bit of cheekiness is always good. A big smile with a tongue in cheek “so are you going to buy me a drink then?” always works a treat.”

I just love the Brits, they talk such a treat, but watch out guys girls with accents are…

Weeyin87

“Keep your shoulders straight and look confident, these wee subtle tips make u look more attractive. I fancied a guy for 4 years who was too old for me. I tried these things and he was mine!!! Dumped him the next week right enough but it was cool to finally get him.”

Heartbreakers.

2) Visualisation has always been one of those things that works better in those 80′s/90′s “teen-angst” films, you know where the guy/girl is at home before the moment they are gonna have their shot at the girl/guy who didn’t know they existed until 15 seconds ago? Be The Hot Chick is your key to visualisation, but be careful, your kid brother could walk in with the video camera right when you are practicing making out in the mirror. Oh, the naive:

Be The Hot Chick

“The really embarrassing scenario is when a girl acts too into him with “ooh, baby” eye contact or over-the-top hair-flipping and giggle “signals.” Other times, a girl will swing the other way because she’s secretly shy. So she’ll go for the hard-to-get aloof routine, basically behaving as if she hates the guy. These are amateur maneuvers, not snag-him strategies.”

Let me tell you how embarrassing it is when a girl actually shows interest and gives you signals, it’s an absolute breath of fresh air. Imagine actually letting a guy know you are into him as opposed to the “your friends, telling his friends at the ice skating rink, to tell him the next day, which is by coincidence a day after the last time you ever see him,” but maybe I’m still a little scarred by my experiences. Do not listen to these silly words about acting too into him, unless we’re not that into you, but you should have caught on by then. Am I the only one that read “swing the other way” and thought the mystery of “why girls think making out with other girls to get attention is a good idea” was finally going to be explained? Girls, remember you want to optimise your “snag-him strategy” so you can break up with him in a week.

Be The Hot Chick

“By boy-world definitions, when you’re nervous, no guy can really tell. Guys don’t know what shy looks like. They just remember whether or not you were nice or sweet or whatever. So, just fake it ’til you get past those first few edgy minutes, because you will get a grip. Try this: Gently bite the corner of your lower lip. It smarts enough to help you remember to breathe (which helps you to think, which helps you to relax), but is still quite cute and flirty.”

First of all guys can tell, and we like it when a girl is nervous, blushing is hot. Guys most often remember “whether or not you were whatever” is pretty much the most accurate statement about male and female interaction ever written. I just learned that biting the lip not only makes girls cute and flirty, it also makes them smarter, or whatever.

Be The Hot Chick

“But a better option is to up your confidence. How? Resolve not to think about your body but to think instead about what’s in front of you–a store, a pool, the sun, your BFF, skater boy.”

Confidence is a huge plus, just make sure yr BFF and skater boy are separately right in front of you. Nothing kills the confidence like your BFF getting the skater boy, and that would not be “Being The Hot Chick”, now would it?

Be The Hot Chick

“Then, the obvious trick is to find the boy you think is skilled (read: hot), and ask him if he will help you improve your swing, catch the perfect wave or do a mean header. He’ll be into showing you what he’s about. Betcha.”

That’s the jewel of advise Lisa Mulcahy has for our youth? The same Lisa Mulcahy that started this very article off with…

Be The Hot Chick

“If you want to get noticed without looking like an extra on the The O.C., you’re on the right page. Summer means your playing field is large, and there are more available guys. Your choices increase, so your chances of getting it right increase. And getting a sweet, smart, into-you boy to notice you does not translate to dressing skimpy or faking like you’re into stuff just to impress.”

Yeah, that or, act like your into something he’s into and you need his help at because he’s “hot”. Now I challenge you to , “Be The Hot Chick”.

I hope you all had as much fun as I did with that all, it’s an honour to be found in the same “AOL Search, powered by Google” as those hits.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/13/tips-for-lip-biters/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/celebrities-in-silverlake/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/celebrities-in-silverlake/#comments Tue, 12 Jun 2007 06:02:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/12/celebrities-in-silverlake/ I just got back from Spaceland in Silverlake, where Juliette (Lewis) & The Licks played their first LA show in quite a few years. It was a celebrity bloggers paradise, but since none of them could get on the list, I’ll have to do my best impression (and put witty things in paranthesis).

In attendance were:
Michael Rapaport (It’s like a roller coaster with this guy, on one hand you have “True Romance” on the other, “Hitch”.)
Jonathan Silverman (I think I’m the only person who enjoyed “The Single Guy”.)
Ben Stein (…and his money.)
Quentin Tarantinos Ex-Girlfriend (I really have no idea if this is true.)
David Duchovney (…drinks Stella Artois.)
Woody Harrelson (THE Woody Harrelson.)
Pink and Carey Hart (Drank wine, and were a lot more boring than I hoped for slash had heard.)
Benicio Del Toro (He looks a lot different these days.)
Dave Grohl (…well, he was on the list.)
One of the Hobbits (I was unimpressed, I actually thought they were midgets.)
The other guy from We Were Soldiers (…not Mel Gibson.)
Gabriel Byrne (Looks like a drunk.)
Ethan Suplee (This guy has a pretty impressive IMDB, but I’ve yet to get into “My Name Is Earl”.)
Two guys who might be from Good Charlotte, but looked like they could be from any band like that. (Mmhkk.)

Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer was not present, so that meant no high speed rolls out of the Mini Cooper tonight. Kiefer did also once tell Rory Felton he was a “born leader”. In related news J.D. Salinger once said I was “a Scholar and a Gentleman” after I held the door open for him.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/celebrities-in-silverlake/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/take-a-safari/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/take-a-safari/#comments Mon, 11 Jun 2007 21:13:33 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/take-a-safari/ Today the official Personal Computer supplier to Randall Paul Jenkins (dot commmm), Apple made some big announcements. Most of those involve Leopard, which is the next amazing version of OSX. The new Finder looks amazing, and I cannot wait to start using all the previously announced things that people like myself geek out over.

The really interesting announcement that Apple made was the availability of Safari 3.0 as a public beta for Mac and (get this) Windows. So now all of you barbarians can browse like the rest of us (well, except Kyle), and you web developers have no excuse for your websites to not work on Safari. Have fun and browse safe.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/11/take-a-safari/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/#comments Sat, 09 Jun 2007 21:17:20 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/ Last week, everyones favourite writer/director Quentin Tarantino made some comments about Italian cinema from the Cannes Film Festival. Quentin’s usually pretty reserved about the state of cinema, and he’s almost never involved in anything controversial so this came quite off the cuff to many (read: Quentin is always controversial, and usually right). Tarantino has been heavily influenced over his career by the olde Cinema de Italia (that’s right I used the Queen’s English and Italian in a mere 4 words) genres of Spaghetti Westerns and Horror. Here are his thoughts on the current state…

Quentin Tarantino

“New Italian cinema is just depressing. Recent films I’ve seen are all the same. They talk about boys growing up, or girls growing up, or couples having a crisis, or vacations of the mentally impaired.”

I love Quentin, and if I had the time in my life to watch movies about people growing up and having a crisis about being mentally impaired on vacation, I’d agree with him. People in Italy who make movies about people growing up and having a crisis about being mentally impaired on vacation however, don’t seem to agree with him. Sophia Loren had the following to say….

Sophia Loren

“How dare he, how dare he talk about Italian cinema when he doesn’t know anything about American cinema.”

The really important part I took away from all of this is… Sophia Loren is still alive?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/09/quentin-always-gets-the-shot/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/07/p-is-for-a-better-world/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/07/p-is-for-a-better-world/#comments Fri, 08 Jun 2007 01:03:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/07/p-is-for-a-better-world/ So I just got the mail delivered here at work and while none of the books I ordered last week came, one package full of amazing content was delivered. My good friend Chad Pearson recently started a company called “P is for Panda,” and decided to send me a little package of visual splendor. Button Pack, Stickers and even a Mix Tape, who sends a Mix Tape? P is for Panda is who! Anyway, I’m putting stickers all over the place in Downtown LA, and demanding all of you to go head over and support the Panda. Now you might be like… “A clothing company? I don’t even like clothes.” Which I understand, that’s totally normal, however this company works a little different.

P is for Panda cares about artists (and hey look at me I’m an artist!), which is actually a rare these days. Perhaps more rare, P is for Panda cares about our world, and backs it up with real monies. One of my other good friends (oh, look at me and all my talented friends) has designed all of the items currently available, so not only are you supporting one of my friends, you are supporting two! I’m gonna just go ahead and pull this off their Virb site, so I get you all the facts.

What is P is For Panda?

After leaving The Militia Group – a company that I founded over 9 years ago – I still don’t really know how to respond to that question. However, I do know this: P Is For Panda is and will always be a company that supports the artist and the community.

For now, we are a clothing company. It may not necessarily seem revolutionary, but we believe that it takes small steps to incite change. Our clothing will be completely based on artist submissions. If we choose to use an artist’s design, the artist is then allowed to choose the item price, the size of the clothing run, and a charity to donate a portion of the proceeds to. World Wildlife Fund is the charity we will suggest to them, but again – it is the artist’s choice.

From there, the profit will be split three ways.
1. The Artist. We thought it was unfair that when an artist designed a shirt they simply got paid a flat fee. If the shirt goes on to sell thousands, the company makes all the money and the artist is left trying to pay rent. With this model, if the shirt sells well – the artist actually sees some of the cash!
2. A Charity. We want to give back. And what better way to give back than to give 1/3rd of our profits to a charity that is trying to better the world we live in? It’s a hell of a lot better than just making some cool shirts.
3. Us. We need cash to keep this thing rolling!

Many people in the “business world” have said that this model cannot and will not work. My question is: “Why?” Because we are thinking about someone other than ourselves? Because we are not concerned with a bottom line? Because we would rather help save a life rather than pad our pockets? People in the normal business world simply do not understand how a business can succeed while “giving away” 2/3rds of its profit. My simple answer is “Why not?”

If we fail – at least we failed while trying to do something meaningful. We would rather die trying than sit around on our butts complaining about the war, the worsening situation in Africa, the lack of aid in New Orleans, or the staggering number of people that are dying right now because they need a new kidney while most of us have one we don’t even need.

If you want to support Panda – thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We believe this can work and we want to show the “business world” that together, we really can change things.

Lets change the way business works.

Chad Pearson and P is for Panda

Who can argue with proving narrow minded suits wrong? Not me, and not Billy Walsh either.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/07/p-is-for-a-better-world/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/#comments Mon, 04 Jun 2007 04:21:48 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/ Some people out there think Michael Bay makes bad movies, those same people also support the work of some of the most self-righteous egotistical persons I’ve ever met. I think my point has been made. Michael Bay isn’t about the whole “Hollywood” mentality, or the “I’m an artist” attitudes. Michael Bay is real, makes movies real people can enjoy, and destroys a lot of things in the process. Now Michael Bay is bringing us closer to the elite world of the Hollywood high life.

Everyone knows I’m a huge fan of Bay, I think he does action the way it should be done. He isn’t artsy enough for most people it seems, but he knows cinema. I really liken him a lot to Quentin; both make films their own way, are very successful in what they do, love making things over the top beyond reality, and are met with sharp criticism about almost every film they make. If he’s good enough for Tarantino, he should be good enough for all you pseudo-artistic types.

Michael Bay

“Quentin Tarantino called me once. Someone had written ‘Is Michael Bay the Devil?’ Quentin said, ‘Don’t worry, last year they called me the Antichrist.’”

I have a point, stick with me. Bay is doing something which I find to be spectacular, premiering Transformers on four screens in Westwood at the LA Film Festival. Now some might think, “yeah you need four screens for all those blockbuster hollywood types,” but you would be wrong. Transformers will be premiering on four screens so we can all have a chance to be a part of the premiere and the after party. Tickets go on sale for the Transformers premiere next weekend, and package tickets for the LA Film Festival (which include the premiere) are already on sale. See you there.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/06/03/michael-bay-is-the-working-mans-director/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/31/the-next-time-the-ncaa-does-the-right-thing-will-be-the-second/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/31/the-next-time-the-ncaa-does-the-right-thing-will-be-the-second/#comments Thu, 31 May 2007 18:37:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/31/the-next-time-the-ncaa-does-the-right-thing-will-be-the-second/ We all know a lot about this country is wrong, I haven’t shifted my stance on a lot about this country being right, just letting you know I think a lot of things are wrong as well. I focus more on systems, rather than people, and a lot of the systems we have in place just don’t work. If absolute power corrupts absolutely, then any form of power must corrupt on some level right? All too often it does. The NCAA is one of those systems I think just doesn’t work. I could spend days discussing an organisation that exists on unpaid athletes, has corporate sponsors and pays high level executives, but we are focusing on the good. Yes, the NCAA finally made the right call.

We are all familiar with the Duke Lacrosse accusations of last year. This week the NCAA granted Duke Lacrosse coach John Danowski’s request for an extra year of eligibility. The request was first reported the week before the Men’s Final Four of Lacrosse by places such as ESPN, and was quickly written off as implausible. The NCAA however found enough just cause that the players deserved their full 4 years of eligibility that was taken from them when Duke University canceled their season 8 games in.

The NCAA stepped up huge, and this almost covers up for Duke treating the accused and the entire team so ridiculously. I hope Duke has done a lot of personal apologizing (read: settlement check writing) in the past few months, because they absolutely need to. I am now anxiously looking forward to another Duke appearance in the Championship game next year, and another season of redemption.

Not all in Lacrosse are thrilled with the decision, Virginia coach Dom Starsia said:

“Everybody in the lacrosse world was embarrassed by what happened. But it almost feels now as if nobody’s really paying for this thing. I would’ve been the first to say that Reade Seligmann and Collin Finnerty probably deserved another year. But I’m not sure that everybody involved here should be painted with the same broad brush and it just seems that’s what the NCAA chose to do.”

It should also be noted that this is the same Virginia who won the National Championship* in 2006, the season “*Duke was a lock to win it all before the rape allegations came out”. Dom doesn’t make a whole lot of sense here, I’m not sure if he knows the entire teams season was canceled and that the entire team was innocent and that the entire team appeared on CrimeStoppers posters or what. I think Dom should stop talking and be happy with his asterisked National Championship.

Also this week one of the former accused, Reade Seligmann, announced he will attend Brown University and play Lacrosse for the Bears. Look out Reade, those girls break hearts.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/31/the-next-time-the-ncaa-does-the-right-thing-will-be-the-second/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/#comments Wed, 30 May 2007 06:48:01 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/ A: The Times. All of them.

Ice Cube’s new film “First Sunday” is shooting on my street. Incidentally, according to IMDB, I moved to Baltimore, MD. Baltimore is a gorgeous city on the shore of the Pacific… oh wait, that’s Long Beach. Anyway, Ice Cube rolled into town and is making some comedy about a crime inside a Church. Unfortunately, this isn’t gonna come close to the greatest “crimedy” (get it, a crime and comedy?) inside a Church ever, Sister Act. Honestly, what could? Fortunately this crimedy takes place on a corner that has a Church and a Liquor Store, which should bring a whole new dimension to the Church crimedy genre we all have come to love.

Kyle and I jumped a few barricades to bring you all some images of the set:

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/29/q-who-are-you-guys-shooting-for/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/27/jtjfk-day-aka-memorial-day/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/27/jtjfk-day-aka-memorial-day/#comments Sun, 27 May 2007 21:11:56 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/27/jtjfk-day-aka-memorial-day/ As we have another 3 day weekend full of sunshine and barbecues to celebrate the persons who have died fighting for the country we call home, some people want to talk about politics and what is wrong with this country. I simply present the stories of 2 men whose lives have had an impact on myself, and who I believe are what was and is right about this country. These men did amazing things in many points of their lives; one of them died serving our country, the other’s famed moment in service came saving lives (though his death came serving our country at the highest level).

Jack Turnbull (Bio)

Jack Turnbull has been called the “Babe Ruth” of lacrosse, and few, if any, could equal his playing ability. Billy Shriver, radio commentator, said in 1947, “Jack Turnbull is what I call the complete athlete. By that I mean when he played a game, he gave it everything he had – spiritually, mentally, physically. Although he was an individual standout, he was always the team player, always playing for the best interests of the sport.”

He was admired and looked up to by his teammates, because he performed unselfishly; rarely fouled; and his leadership, skill, character and accomplishment developed an esprit de corps and respect seldom, if ever, attained by others.

Jack Turnbull enlisted in the Maryland National Guard in March, 1940, became a Second Lieutenant in June and a pilot on December 9, 1940. He was promoted to First Lieutenant, Captain, Major and on May 29, 1944, to Lieutenant Colonel. On October 18, 1944, flying from somewhere in England, he and his squadron carried bombs to drop on industrial Germany. On the return flight, German flack downed the plane in Belgium, and the Sisters of a nearby convent, with the help of older men, made caskets and temporarily buried Jack and his comrades.

The Jack Turnbull Award is an award given yearly to the United States’ top collegiate attackman in lacrosse.

and…

John Fitzgerald Kennedy (Bio)

On August 2, 1943, Kennedy’s boat, the PT-109, was taking part in a nighttime patrol near New Georgia in the Solomon Islands. It was rammed by the Japanese destroyer Amagiri. Kennedy was thrown across the deck, injuring his already-troubled back. Still, Kennedy towed a wounded man three miles (5 km) in the ocean, arriving at an island where his crew was subsequently rescued. Kennedy said that he blacked out for periods of time during the life-threatening ordeal. For these actions, Kennedy received the Navy and Marine Corps Medal.

Kennedy privately admitted to friends that he didn’t feel that he deserved the medals he had received, because the PT-109 incident had been the result of a botched military operation that had cost the lives of two members of his crew. When asked by interviewers how he became a war hero, Kennedy’s grim reply was: “It was involuntary. They sank my boat.”

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/27/jtjfk-day-aka-memorial-day/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/26/brady-quinn-fans-are-violent/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/26/brady-quinn-fans-are-violent/#comments Sat, 26 May 2007 10:28:24 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/26/brady-quinn-fans-are-violent/ Tonight Kyle and I ventured to the center of Los Angeles, a place some call downtown, for Kat’s birthday party. It was a lovely time, and I offended people by playing Kelly Clarkson and Dashboard Confessional. I was the designated driver, because Kyle was the designated drinker of Newcastle Brown Ale, so I took the wheel of the Bimmer. We started home sometime after 2, and headed past Staple’s Center towards the onramp to the 110/Harbor Freeway. We had red light at the left turn lane for the onramp, and when it turned green the night got quite eventful.

Upon said green light, a bus came from the right, possibly still catching the yellow. This was no ordinary bus, Kyle describes it best as “That was Satan’s bus.” After the bus, we proceeded to turn left, a bogie appeared close on our tail. This car came out of nowhere, clearly running the red light Satan’s bus had almost run and along the way decided we needed to be tailed. Kyle and I don’t appreciate those sort of actions, so Kyle tried to improve foreign relations, to no avail. Suddenly I noticed a blur in the left mirror and a vehicle was suddenly on the side of us passing us. I felt like Cole Trickle in Days of Thunder as he erratically threw his Lancer at the front left of the BMW. I slammed on the breaks and let him fly right by, masterfully avoiding any collision as he passed left to right in front of us.

He threw his car back left and swerved at us a few more times, and I countered with avoidance each time. He finally stopped just before the end of the onramp where the freeway was, and threw his door open to get out. What happened next was unreal, he was charging straight at us sporting his Cleveland Browns Brady Quinn jersey and clenched fists, we had to think quick. The ARod special was unfortunately at Toyota of North Hollywood, so I muttered to Kyle “Get his plates,” and planned for the worst. My mind covered most scenarios and I decided the worst thing he could do was try to break the window, so I raised my arm up in preparation and Kyle shifted from License Plate capture mode to ready to dial 911 mode. The worst case is exactly what he had in mind, and he punched the window as hard as a Brady Quinn fan could. Neither Kyle, nor myself flinched one bit when his fist struck the glass.

An amazing thing happened, the glass did not break. I had decided in my head prior that once he had taken this past assault, and on to battery I was fully justified to run him over. I had already eyed enough room to the left of his Mitsubishi that was drivable terrain, and my feet were on the triggers so off we went leaving him in the rear view mirror cursing and spitting. By all accounts he either chose not to follow, or could not catch the Bimmer, and we were left only to revel in adrenaline.

Note: Im sure Kyle will have his account of the events surrounding the early morning of May 26th sometime soon, so be sure to check out his view of the night. In addition, I realise a large portion of this blog sounds like an ode to Tom Cruise. While it would be acceptable as it would be an ode to the old, cool, not insane Tom Cruise, I assure you it is only an ode to Tony Scott.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/26/brady-quinn-fans-are-violent/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/the-perfect-girl/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/the-perfect-girl/#comments Fri, 25 May 2007 03:18:47 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/the-perfect-girl/ Blog Groupies take note… the perfect girl has been summed up in video form. The key moments to focus on are the shrug at the end, the boots, and the lower lip bite. Okay it’s mostly the lower lip bite.

Now some of you might think I’m being chauvinistic and only think she’s perfect because she is extremely attractive. Well you are wrong, she is perfect because of her body language, intonation, and gestures. I’m willing to look past the gorgeous good looks for such adorable qualities. I’m just a class act like that.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/the-perfect-girl/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/drunk-drivers-dont-want-to-be-drunk/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/drunk-drivers-dont-want-to-be-drunk/#comments Thu, 24 May 2007 19:23:43 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/drunk-drivers-dont-want-to-be-drunk/ It’s true, they just want to have one beer and be on their way. That damn peer pressure and all that cool ambiance in the bar though, it’s like they want you to stay and keep drinking.

These kind of lawsuits must come from that group of archaic minded individuals that still think; it’s a gun manufacturers responsibility when someone gets shot, it’s a girls fault for dressing “provocatively” when she gets raped, it’s McDonalds fault when you spill coffee on your lap. These people should be counter-sued for wasting the systems time.

ESPN (Source)

ST. LOUIS — The father of the late St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock has filed a lawsuit, claiming that a popular restaurant continued to provide drinks to the reliever even though he was clearly intoxicated before the drunk-driving crash that killed him.

The lawsuit brought by Dean Hancock names Mike Shannon’s Restaurant, which is owned by the long-time Cardinals broadcaster. It also names Shannon’s daughter, who’s the restaurant manager.

Police say Hancock was drunk, speeding and using a cell phone when his SUV struck the back of a tow truck in the early hours of April 29.

Also named in the lawsuit are the tow truck company and driver and the driver of the car who was getting help from the tow truck on Interstate 64.

How dare the bar not offer to drive him home, how dare they not give breathalyzer tests, how dare they think an adult should be able to be responsible enough to know their limits and/or call a cab. Shouldn’t any bar in the potential vicinity of a baseball team be closed anytime one of the teams players could potentially walk in the door anyway? Can you believe the gall of that person whose car broke down? A baseball player needed to drive drunk, why were you breaking down in his path? The tow truck driver should have known to look out for drunk drivers, that is their job you know. Why isn’t the Highway Patrol being sued because they failed to enforce the speed limit before he crashed? Why isn’t the person whom he was on the phone with being sued for not stopping him from driving?

I’m sorry for your loss Mr. Hancock, but pretending your Son didn’t have an alcohol problem, nor a penchant for the shady locale is just plain ignorant. You know who should be sued? You, Mr. Hancock. Failing to notice the demons your Son battled when he was alive and could have been helped is tragic, denying them in his death is just shameful.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/24/drunk-drivers-dont-want-to-be-drunk/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/#comments Wed, 23 May 2007 16:40:06 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/ As we close in on the birthday of the finest Presidential orator ever, another Presidential “orator” makes it so obvious how much times are changing. “W” is in tune with the blogosphere…

George W. Bush

“Information is moving — you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it’s also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets.”

Read the rest of the transcript.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/the-president-does-better-stand-up-than-dane-cook/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/#comments Wed, 23 May 2007 06:06:29 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/ This weekend when I was over at Hollywood Park my Father made a comment about our Governor. I believe his words did not include “terrible” or “worthless”, and I don’t have the exact quote but I believe he said “terrific” at some point. My Grandmother and I just looked at each other in disbelief. My Father then proceeded to say what great things Arnold has done for the State of California. I agreed with him immediately, and relayed the following 2 year old story (I propose we bring it up every May until he’s out of politics).

On May 27, 2005, Arnold traveled to San Jose, California. To catch those of you up who weren’t dating a girl from San Jose at the time, San Jose has huge transportation issues, most notably traffic and potholes. Arnold arrived to a quaint neighborhood that was full of interesting people that you will soon get to hear from. So Arnold is here, he brought an entire set with him. There are Key Grips, Best Boy Grips and Personal Assistant’s Everywhere. There is lighting (yes, lighting in the middle of the day) to ensure a soft glow off our Action Hero of a Governor.

They cued up The Doobie Brothers “Taking It To The Streets”, and Arnold swaggered towards your television with 10 of San Jose’s finest road workers flanking him. 10 workers in brand new Day-Glo vests (it’s still the middle of the day, still in a small neighborhood) and work gear to back up the Governor. After some speeches people couldn’t understand (by the Governor) and some by people you could understand (San Jose City officials) a truck full of black, smoking, asphalt backed up and unloaded for the Governor to fill the 10 by 15 foot hole.

Now you might be upset that it took 10 road workers to assist in filling a pothole when there are plenty of other road work needs in the city, I might agree if I didn’t understand how important it is for the Governor to look intimidating. The residents however, aren’t as understanding.

Nick Porrovecchio

“They just dug it out,” Nick Porrovecchio, 48, said, shrugging. “There was a crack. But they dug out the whole road this morning.”
“It’s a lot of money spent on a staged event,” said Matt Vujevich, 74, a retiree whose home faced the crew-made trench that straddled nearly the whole street. “We still have the same problems. Everything’s a press conference.”

Now that seems a bit ridiculous doesn’t it? Maybe those 10 road workers were just too good at their jobs, that’s why they had nothing else to do right? They must have taken care of all the cities potholes a day too early, right? Right??

Joe Greco

Joe Greco (no relation to Richard Greco), who used his video camera to record the crews ripping up his street, said Laguna Seca Way had “a few cracks,” which he termed “unsightly,” but they weren’t as bad as the “major potholes” a few blocks away.
“The street was very drivable,” Vujevich said.

So your probably figuring what I figured when I first heard this story, Arnold just got some bad intel, no one told him there were real potholes already needing repair so close by. Surely our Governor wouldn’t waste tax payers monies on purpose when he could have so easily saved a few bucks by fixing real potholes?

Rob Stutzman

Rob Stutzman, the Governor’s communications director, told reporters that “the staging of an event like this is paid for out of the Governor’s California Recovery Team account,” which pays for many of the governor’s political activities, “so there’s no taxpayer expense.”

So what, so he staged it? It needed to be staged, those other streets have terrible afternoon sun. No taxpayer had to pay for it, it’s fine.

David Vossbrink

But David Vossbrink, director of communications for San Jose Mayor Ron Gonzales, who was in Washington, D.C., Thursday lobbying for more federal funding for BART, said the city paid the road crew and the extra security costs associated with the governor’s visit — as it would for any visiting dignitary.

So there’s no taxpayer expense ASIDE from the road crew that was being paid to not fix the real potholes, dig fake potholes and be back up dancers for the Governor’s performance. Well, at the very least a pothole got filled.

David Vossbrink

Vossbrink said, the Governor’s event involved “not exactly filling a pothole, but it represented the pothole aspect”

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/not-my-governor/feed/ 3 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/intimidating/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/intimidating/#comments Tue, 22 May 2007 21:39:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/23/intimidating/ A few weeks back I found the perfect bike. It’s gorgeous, it’s designed, it has front disc brakes (no idea why I would need that), it has no chain, it’s $1200.00. Now that’s a lot for a bike, but this bike HAS NO CHAIN!!!

I got over the $1200.00 bike when I realised I would be scared to take it out in public, so I decided that I should purchase an urban bike. You know the kind that bike messengers ride? I would go urban biking (yeah i make up a lot of urban ______ sports, but that’s what we do here in the Arts District), I would ride at night and rule the streets.

Fortunately I have a former professional mountain biker in my friend Jordan Percy (who rides his bike to work every day, and once rode from Pacific Beach in San Diego, all the way up to Oceanside just because he was bored), and fortunately Jordan paid us a visit last week. We took some time out of our interviews and meetings to discuss my bike situation with Jordan.

Jordan shot down my urban bike idea in seconds, claiming those mountain/bmx hybrids were for adults who rode bmx bikes as kids and want to pretend like they still can so they get an urban bike. I tried to explain that I am exactly that person and have no issues with it, but he demanded we go another route. Jordan then suggested a fixed gear bike. I being a good friend have listened to Jordan talk about these bikes before and know I want no part in a bike that you have to peddle to slow down. I immediately deny him, and go back to the urban bike.

Jordan finally asks me why I want an urban bike and why I was so fixated on the $1200.00 bike, so I tell him the most honest 2-drink answer ever, “to intimidate people.” Now I’m (not yet) a cyclist, but I feel intimidation is a big part of cycling. I need to look like someone who rules the streets at night in the cutthroat world of urban biking.

Jordan finally convinces me to let him build me a perfect single speed bike from vintage road bike parts and some sort of cut off bars that will look mountain bike-esque but he assures me will still intimidate. We have not yet set a bike building day, but you shall be updated… and you have been warned.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/22/intimidating/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/#comments Mon, 21 May 2007 07:40:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/ Kyle has just informed me…

… Scrubs is back for Season 7.

For the record, they are just gonna do the same thing they always do; 1) build up a whole happy show and have it flip into this emo twist right at the end, 2) build up a whole emo show and have it flip into this happy twist at the end. Since we got 1 this year, maybe we get 2 next?

And here is what Zach Braff had to say about Season 7…

Zach Braff

…what is the deal with all these myspace spammers lately. You’d think after Tom sold the company for 100 zillion dollars he’d spend a few bucks of it on trying to figure out how to stop that. Everytime I check my page there’s something like, “I love this fucking ringtone so much I wanna have sex with it all night long. I wanna impregnate this fucking ring tone. I wanna knock up this ring tone and marry it in Vegas, then have the wedding annulled the next day. That’s how fucking excited I am about this ringtone.

I must get 1000 comments a day telling me that “size matters”. Before I realized it was spam I kept looking at the picture of the person who wrote that being like, “wow. Not what I imagined coming from that person’s mouth, but ok. Size is very important to him. But alas, I should not give them any more attention as that is what they seek. If you’re one of the people who’s clicking on there to get iphones or penis enlargement pills you’re REALLY screwing it up for everybody else. I figure if the guy sells 2 bottles of penis pills a day, he can easily afford to lay back at his crib and marvel at how grand his own penis is. “No placebo’s for me. I was born like this. I’ve also been blessed with the very first iphone and I’m currently banging one of the hotter ringtones in Santa Fe.

By the by: please don’t send me anything HTML; especially in the comments section. Don’t get me wrong, I love an animated unicorn waving “Thanks For the Add” as much as the next guy, but I disabled those things because they make your page all wonky. And no one likes a wonky page.

And while your at it, get a Virb (Ed: I may or may not have added this myself).

… oh wait, that was him explaining why he hates MySpace wasn’t it?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/21/i-was-happy-with-not-knowing/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/20/the-running-of-the-ponies/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/20/the-running-of-the-ponies/#comments Sun, 20 May 2007 20:59:31 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/20/the-running-of-the-ponies/ Hollywood Park opened for it’s spring meet a few weeks back, and Saturday I supported the just-outside-of-Hollywood-community Inglewood. I have no idea why it’s “Hollywood” Park, all of Hollywood waits for Del Mar.

There were a few wardrobe delays getting to the track, but once all was overcome an absolutely wonderful time was had on a gorgeous day. I really wish they would create a Place-Show Exacta, because I would win them all (and yes I would bet it). Other important lessons learned were; the 9 horse is out to ruin me, a $0.10 Superfecta box on the entire field of 12 is costs more than you would think, some horses just have pure natural instinct to finish (with or without a jockey), the only horse I didn’t bet on is always going to win the Preakness. I missed about 5 Exacta’s by one position, blew a Superfecta by one position, and threw countless monies at horses who just couldn’t finish.

The other entertaining moments of the day were a close encounter (seated at the table next to us) with the infamous Wal-Mart wine/condom guy, and a baffling game of “are we girlfriends, or are we girlfriends” with attractive mid-twenties East Coasters as the subject.

I pretty much lost all day and had thrown in the proverbial towel on the day via text message, when my last bets all hit with the 3 horse in the Seventh. A good day turned even better, thank you for the luck kind text message-ers.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/20/the-running-of-the-ponies/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/#comments Sun, 20 May 2007 02:56:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/ Jordan Percy decided to grace the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area with his presence last evening. We decided on t-shirts and suit jackets, already had reservations for 4 (where was our 4th the whole night anyway?) at Rambutan, had finally convinced Kyle that this Target listed in LA nightlife on multiple internet locations, is this Target and headed out for an Executive Committee reunion of sorts.

Dinner was aces, per the standard at the Ram’, and the drinks were the thing of legend (I rec’ the Mango Mojito, though I’m always a sucker for the Rambutan Cosmo, slash anything with Soju in it). For the rest of the evening we decided to help the social resurgence of Downtown LA by visiting a few local watering holes. The Edison was dead, and there were no good leads for the Times so we pressed on to The Redwood.

The Redwood is one of the finer nautical bars in existence, complete with Quill and Ink sketches of ships and other lovely works of art. Once we headed to the stern we found the dance floor, complete with a DJ dropping hits everywhere (He had a few slips, but with most the wanna-be hipster DJ’s in this town refusing to drop some JT in his mix, I find the gesture unique and different).

B-list celebrities surrounded us on the dance floor, however these were a slightly different crowd than the usuals; Lil Jon, Kwame Brown and a few of the leaders of some rival b-boy crews. I have to admit I’d take this group on the dance floor over the Bang crowd on most days.

On our exit, we decided to go Bridge and Tunnel-ing through the city. Perhaps you weren’t aware of all the tunnels and bridges around Los Angeles, but while you are planning your own route, be sure to check out Angel’s Flight. Our soundtrack for the B&T-ing was the ever appropriate TBS, who reminds us of what fine young knives we all are.

Taking Back Sunday

Literate and stylish
Kissable and quiet
Well that’s what girls dreams are made of

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/19/this-is-what-living-like-this-does/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/18/at-least-they-left-the-arod-special/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/18/at-least-they-left-the-arod-special/#comments Fri, 18 May 2007 19:11:31 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/18/at-least-they-left-the-arod-special/ Last night at what I will presume was 3:27AM (because that’s when the alarm on somebody else’s car was going off out on the street, which both woke me up and annoyed me when it wouldn’t stop) my vehicle was broken into. When I walked up to the car and saw all kinds of things on my dashboard I was suspicious, when I looked at the passenger door and it was unlocked I thought somehow it was left unlocked the night before and I was to blame, when I got to the drivers side and the cab window latch was broken and there was Fun Dip on my seat that’s when I really started to flip out.

At the most recent count of stolen goods we have; 4 sunglasses (Tom Ford, Diesel and Macbeth), 1 five year old Snowboard, Random things I’ve designed, A tape adapter for my iPod, Cell phone charger, Power Converter, Automobile Emergency Kit Bag (Most the contents was left), Modern Amusement T-Shirt, Some of my mail.

And the list of things not taken/left behind; Holy Bible (Must have been religious), Brand New Burton Snowboard Boots, Marie Calendar’s hat (this was not present before the break in, more on this later), Alex Rodriguez Bat (Must be a Dodger fan), Soccer Ball and cones (Hmmm, where to go with this one… what kind of person would leave a soccer ball behind?), $4.28 in change, Flashlight/Jumper Cables/Reflective Triangle from Emergency Kit, Nordstrom Bag, Most things with my address/phone number on them.

My Truck is downstairs at the car wash being detailed. I felt so dirty just being in it on the drive to work that I got here, threw out everything that was in it, and took it straight to them. Hopefully I will feel better about it after it doesn’t feel/look so violated.

I will be hunting persons who work at Marie Calendar’s for the the rest of my life. If you ever see a cook at MC’s rocking a ModAmuse shirt and my Tom Ford’s, call me… I’ll come right over and show him why he should have taken the ARod Special first hand.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/18/at-least-they-left-the-arod-special/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/#comments Thu, 17 May 2007 21:08:03 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/ If you have ever wondered what it’s like where I work, this picture pretty much sums it all up…

… that’s just a block over from my building. Optimus stops by the neighborhood at least once a week to eat at this killer Chinese place called New Moon just across from my building.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-downtown-experience/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-evolution-of-the-internets/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-evolution-of-the-internets/#comments Thu, 17 May 2007 20:50:45 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-evolution-of-the-internets/ So many of my friends and enemies who follow my weblog may, like me, appreciate good design. I like the world well designed, I like architecture, I like form and function, I like thought before action. It is with that in mind that I’m giving you a little taste of why I have that link on the bottom of the page to Virb. Virb is legit, just ask Michael Bay.

Virb is what Myspace would be if they cared about design and layout. Virb is fresh and small as we speak. I expect it to be popular but niche online community. We’ll see. – MichaelBay.com

If you are my real friend you have already added me on Virb… if you haven’t I’m pissed at you. It’s where all the real social networking happens, you do want to be cool right? Myspace is like wearing Seven Jeans and Ugg Boots.

This is the part where I just offended a lot of girls, I’m sorry… really, but lead instead of following for once.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/17/the-evolution-of-the-internets/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/#comments Wed, 16 May 2007 18:55:10 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/ Albert Clifford Slater was simply legendary; from his star rise on “The Bell,” to his showing up at my HS’s prom, and don’t you dare say “SBTB, The College Years” or “Dancing With The Stars” can tarnish his status. If anything, it makes this all the more fabulous. SBTB was an absolute crutch to my childhood existence making long afternoons of homework seem so much shorter, and I couldn’t have survived sans TPIR which made being sick on the couch something to look forward to, so it only makes sense to combine them into a one hour block of entertainment I will enjoy for the rest of my life. I do however want the show to undergo a slight name adjustment, “Saved By The Right Price” would really make my life complete.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I pledge my support to Mario Lopez.

Edit: Kyle is a part of the campaign, and has made a lovely little poster. I hear he might even create a theme song mash-up (read: go over to his blog and demand he make a theme song mash-up).

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/16/im-voting-for-ac/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/15/aipsid-is-what-my-dock-now-says/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/15/aipsid-is-what-my-dock-now-says/#comments Wed, 16 May 2007 06:29:24 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=13 Today marked the acquisition of Adobe’s Creative Suite 3 after several weeks of waiting. This is the part in the blog where most people lose interest in me geeking out on design applications. This is however, not their blog.

I’m gonna have to hand it to Adobe, it’s gorgeous. The GUI has been completely overhauled exactly the way I have been saying (read: screaming at my screen) for years. Will it make my designs better? Is that even possible? Who is to say, really? The future, that’s who.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/15/aipsid-is-what-my-dock-now-says/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/14/mountains-of-green-and-burnt-childhood-dreams/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/14/mountains-of-green-and-burnt-childhood-dreams/#comments Tue, 15 May 2007 01:38:35 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=17 This Sunday I drove down to San Diego to thank my Mother for doing the following things in my life; birthing me, stopping my sister from feeding me scrambled eggs when I was only a few days old, killing the rooster that tried to make me blind, turning off “The Wizard of Oz” (on audio cassette) when we were driving through Kansas/Oklahoma and tornadoes were touching down around us, saving me from Grimace (I knew he started out evil, never changed in my eyes), stopping store managers from yelling at me when I pulled a fire alarm and later stole a toy, making me do my own laundry, allowing us to tear up the back yard for the adventure of it all, letting me find my own beliefs, not killing me multiple times I probably deserved it, always letting me chase my dreams, forcing me into responsibility, telling me (when I was 22) she trusted me to drink alcohol when I was 18 (could have helped to know when I was 18), allowing me to find out what I wanted to do in life (even when it took a few years), being alive.

To celebrate we drove up to Julian and had lunch. On the way we drove by our old cabin (not much has changed) and the nearby pond (basically does not exist anymore) and saw the scarred landscape finally coming back after the fire. No trip to Julian is complete without a visit to the famous candy store (which used to have it’s own hive of bee’s that would fly in this strange tubing on top and presumably make honey). Our lunch was quite spectacular and of course we took an apple pie with us for the trip home.

For the record, as Mother’s love nature and craft like things, Julian is quite the hit for Mother’s Day.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/14/mountains-of-green-and-burnt-childhood-dreams/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/13/urban-hiking/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/13/urban-hiking/#comments Sun, 13 May 2007 19:16:36 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=16 So not many of you know about the elite sport of urban hiking. Last night (with no Sherpa to guide us mind you) Kyle, Danielle and myself conquered Mt. Biscuit Co. Lofts. It was a hard climb, but the infamous V2 vodka found on its first peak (read: balcony 1 of 4) made it a bit easier. The string ensemble also helped our ascent, and let me tell you was there some interesting art on the climb up. The view from the top is one of the more stunning looks of Los Angeles you will ever get.

After the long journey, some interesting appetizer’s and a run of the land we headed off to revive our singing careers. If you have never been to Dimple’s, you are cheating yourself out of a good time, and potential fame. I’ve heard this place was where Record Industry A&R signed pop stars before American Idol existed. They even snap pictures and film you.

Edit: Kyle has a longer description of the evening, with less metaphors and more promise of our DVD and allusions to internet infamy (that’s right, Dimple’s has a live feed every night) on his blog.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/13/urban-hiking/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/09/californias-burning-burning-again/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/09/californias-burning-burning-again/#comments Thu, 10 May 2007 06:03:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=15 Few may know the “City of Angels” has the largest “urban” park in the United States, but that honour is due to Griffith Park. Full of golf courses, the zoo, the observatory, greek theatre and plenty of open trails, Griffith Park really is a shocking accent on this city. For now the park (and hopefully only the bushes) is burning and it’s another chance to remember we built these cities on chaparral, not rock n’ roll.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/09/californias-burning-burning-again/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/01/shutting-down-the-city/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/01/shutting-down-the-city/#comments Wed, 02 May 2007 01:34:47 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/blog/?p=12 So as all my fellow Angels know, the Downtown area I work in was taken over by protesting persons. These people were utilising their free speech by making it so I couldn’t go to the office. The protesters want rights for immigrants; those here already, and those to come in the future. These same people had the nerve to say that all these businesses were closed down out of support for the movement. So to be fair I will let it be known that we didn’t go into the office purely out of the fact that all the streets were closed, and I do not support any march that hijacks a city.

I should add.. I had an amazing day full of photoshoots, cafe’s and record store finds (Including a Wesley Willis greatest hits). I hope that whole movement thing works out for them, because I’m writing down May 1, 2007 as a win in my book.

I love people coming to America, I love the idea of the American dream being something people want and lust over, furthermore I am blessed to be able to live the life that I do (Here is the part where I potentially offend you). However I do have a few suggestions for the cause; respect those of us fortunate enough to have been granted our pass enough to not shut down areas of business on a weekday, fight for your right to be here AND for those same rights in the country you are trying to leave behind as you wish granted here. I say this last part not because I don’t want anyone in the country I was born in but because all countries can be something great, however if all of a countries truly innovative people abandon their homeland their will never be any progress or change.

This world needs leaders, not followers.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/05/01/shutting-down-the-city/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/30/dont-ever-steal-a-parrot-in-new-york/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/30/dont-ever-steal-a-parrot-in-new-york/#comments Mon, 30 Apr 2007 18:07:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/blog/?p=11 So some of you have been privy to my telling of the famous “stolen parrot story” that was passed on to me by some journalist acquaintances of mine. It’s a truly great story to tell (some would say better to tell, than to hear), and a great icebreaker for weddings and dinner engagements. The story was told a few months back on “This American Life” along with some discussion on how the story has taken on a life of it’s own, it begins at around the 7-minute mark. If you haven’t heard me tell the story don’t worry that this will spoil that magical moment, my version has evolved to new levels before unknown.

Act II: The Parrot on This American Life.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/30/dont-ever-steal-a-parrot-in-new-york/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/29/draft-day-2007-part-ii/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/29/draft-day-2007-part-ii/#comments Sun, 29 Apr 2007 22:41:08 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/blog/?p=9 After the late night conclusion at the now “Industry” Harbor House Cafe caused all involved to sleep in till noon, draft day part deux was a much shorter experience.

Scott Chandler, Tight End, Iowa.

The kid is like 7′ 9″.

Legedu Naanee, Wide Receiver, THE Boise State.

I love this kid, mostly because the scouting reports say “he catches the balls he is supposed to catch.” Novel approach, I know.

Brandon Siler, Line Backer, Florida.

Projected 3rd rounder this year, should have stayed for his senior year… but we get him in the 7th? That’s fine.

I feel like it was quite the draft for the Chargers, addressed the needs and got some good value. Road trip to the first public mini camp anyone?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/29/draft-day-2007-part-ii/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/28/draft-day-2007/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/28/draft-day-2007/#comments Sun, 29 Apr 2007 03:32:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/blog/?p=8 Today was Draft Day in the NFL, and it started with a 9:00 AM PST Chick-fil-a run to finally partake in the delicious breakfast menu. After that it was All Draft, All Day.

After 6 hours of trades, slips, and bad decisions (Miami), we were finally introduced to the Chargers new Wide Receiver. Craig Davis of THE Louisiana State, his nickname is “Buster”… that’s got to change.

Gotta say, the kids gonna look good with some bolts on his shoulders.

Then, before we could notice The Bolt was back on the screen (on a pristine white field) and traded up to pick Eric Weddle, Safety, from Utah.

I’m not sure if Eric has a knickname, and I’m not the kind of person to go handing them out… but I will propose that his finishing move (read: when he hits someone) be called “The Weddler.”

The Chargers also drafted a Line Backer, but it was past the Chargers webmasters bedtime when that happened (11:07 PM EST) so they are not yet acknowledging the pick, and thusly I cannot be proper and post his picture. We love you just as much nameless/faceless LB… really we do.

Edit:

“nameless/faceless LB” is actually Anthony Waters, Clemson University.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/28/draft-day-2007/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/12/lynchburg-college-is-holding-the-first-ever-randall-fest/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/12/lynchburg-college-is-holding-the-first-ever-randall-fest/#comments Thu, 12 Apr 2007 17:37:07 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/blog/?p=10 So apparently those attending Lynchburg College are graced with the first ever Randall Fest. This is the first occurrence of an entire show of bands whom are not only Randall approved, but I even had the pure joy of being able to work with them on their layouts.

Cartel, Holiday Parade and The Dangerous Summer… one night only. I am sure more of these sort of events are bound to happen… maybe even a Randall Tour, who knows.

So if you are anywhere near Lynchburg, find a student and watch the hits spill from the stage.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/12/lynchburg-college-is-holding-the-first-ever-randall-fest/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/11/duke-lacrosse-charges-dropped/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/11/duke-lacrosse-charges-dropped/#comments Thu, 12 Apr 2007 04:16:12 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/11/duke-lacrosse-charges-dropped/ The ridiculous accusations of rape by 3-4 rich, white, Duke University Lacrosse players made by a poor, black, non Duke University student who survives by dancing exotically (You notice how ridiculous it was that I noted who was rich/poor and white/black? Yeah, I think so too) were finally put to rest with all the charges being dropped today. This whole accusation and trial just reminded me how society hasn’t really come very far at all. I myself was a Lacrosse player, and by no means am I gonna try to say that a party mentality does not surround the sport. Nor am I not going to say that rich, white, males should be drinking for hours and hiring strippers, however you cannot punish a man based on his legal vices.

The really truly amazing part about this whole ordeal to me was the fact that after all the years of profiling against minorities we decided to solve the problem by inversion. It really echoes a lot of the civil rights policies of the past few decades (Yes, I am referring to Title IX and Affirmative Action). It’s really all a microcasm for what I believe this countries biggest issue is; people do not fight for the just cause, they fight for their advantage. It’s a shame people like Jesse Jackson haven’t realised that we all deserve justice and freedom. Continuing to segregate organisations for the cause of ending the damage segregation did, is such a ridiculous concept and will never truly rid this country from the issues of colour bias. Until the NAACP becomes the NAAP we have no hope at equality, though I’ve never been sure if their goal was equality or superiority.

North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper dropped all charges against the three lacrosse players…

Roy Cooper

“based on the significant inconsistencies between the evidence and the various accounts given by the accusing witness, we believe these three individuals are innocent of these charges.”

…and discussed the political motivations of the case and the prosecuting DA:

Roy Cooper

“tragic rush to accuse and a failure to verify serious allegations”

“This case shows the enormous consequences of overreaching by a prosecutor”

DA Mike Nifong, who should at any time be barred from working in the law ever again had this nice statement prepared:

Mike Nifong

“To the extent that I made judgments that ultimately proved to be incorrect, I apologize to the three students that were wrongly accused.”

It’s nice he apologised for ruining these three students lives forever, they will always be known to many as rapists (even after being found innocent). I for one, really hope he is actually help accountable for the witch hunt he led.

I am glad that our justice system got this one right, profiling people based on the colour of their skin and their societal status is wrong no matter which side of those genres they fall into. Sometimes the rich, white people are actually innocent.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/04/11/duke-lacrosse-charges-dropped/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/01/08/political-declarations/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/01/08/political-declarations/#comments Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:23:18 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/?p=262 I keep forgetting if I’m a registered Democrat or Republican (technically, I just found out I’m not even registered) so deciding who to support is always a tough call. Sometimes I like the Gov’t leaving us alone, sometimes I want the injustices in our daily lives to stop, sometimes I want free gas in exchange for war. What never changes in my desires is for a widespread change of the bureaucracy; a change in the mindset of politicians.

With that said, I am now PrObama. PrObama is afilliating yourself with: Barack Obama, change, hope, politicians who are fresh and passionate, progressing, et al.

Usage: “Did you see that girl in the heels that I was talking to on the A, the one who was reading McSweeney’s? She was so forward thinking, so prObama.”

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/01/08/political-declarations/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/01/01/not-to-break-tradition/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/01/01/not-to-break-tradition/#comments Mon, 01 Jan 2007 08:44:04 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/01/01/not-to-break-tradition/ …but “today, a tradition.” Summing it all up with one thing, it was a year of things. Not so much things to eliminate (though there are plenty), but things to remember, things to cherish, things to pretend only existed in alternate dimensions. My life consisted of flights across the Pacific with the most modern of amenities, and flights returning watching films that I shouldn’t be watching making me realise it will never be what it should have been and couldn’t possibly ever be like that. Things, things, things, things… things.

Things ended, and continued, and continued to end. There were places I meant to go and never did, and places I didn’t mean to go and went twice. These are only notes, you shouldn’t know what I mean. Most of all I feel dulled, pulled out at times for the use I had grown so accustomed to, yet sheathed for far too long. It comes down to moments, sometimes you know… everyones gotta have their moments, but now they are spread out.

So this year I’m changing nothing, remembering everything I forgot, and walking into the crowd and screaming. People will probably think I’ve lost my mind, people have been more wrong, I suppose. They are all metaphors, I use cliche writing tools in these words to symbolize things I am not saying. I had a lot of realizations about packages that we’re marked return to sender, and I think I may send more.

As for next year, the Ivory Coast is ours; It’s gonna be another year of jackets.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2007/01/01/not-to-break-tradition/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/12/21/best-of-2006/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/12/21/best-of-2006/#comments Thu, 21 Dec 2006 19:20:52 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/12/21/best-of-2006/ Top 10 Albums of 2006:
1. The Appleseed Cast – Peregrine
2. Brand New – The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me
3. Snow Patrol – Eyes Open
4. Nas – Hip Hop Is Dead
5. Rocky Votolato – Makers
6. Brandtson – Hello, Control.
7. Sleeping At Last – Keep No Score
8. Manchester Orchestra – I’m Like A Virgin Losing A Child
9. The Album Leaf – Into The Blue Again
10. Maritime – We The Vehicles

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/12/21/best-of-2006/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/10/17/insert-this-before-it-should-be-inserted/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/10/17/insert-this-before-it-should-be-inserted/#comments Wed, 18 Oct 2006 07:17:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/10/17/insert-this-before-it-should-be-inserted/ Driving the five, and I’m learning how to smile. I’m not sure when it was I forgot how, but it is evident, it has been a while. I’m proudly displaying far too much of an affliction for a band that is far too popular for this kind of event. It says so much, it always is one thing that keeps you young, that takes you back so you can move forward, I think I’m moving forward. I have to go back though, I have to learn again, I have to move on past the thing I’m not supposed to move on from. I never had been one to claim I was over the last chapter, and you may be confused because it’s actually in the next chapter, but it makes more sense there. Time that is linear might only confuse in this case.

And we relate it all to things, to images, to songs, to books, to colours, to streets, to cities, to nations, to names, and we won’t remember one day, but today I’ll relish in the sadness it brings because I was smiling again.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/10/17/insert-this-before-it-should-be-inserted/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/09/27/film-at-eleven/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/09/27/film-at-eleven/#comments Thu, 28 Sep 2006 07:24:41 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/09/27/film-at-eleven/ Tonight I decided I would watch the news, on most nights I miss it due to my extreme tendencies to block out the real world. I was hoping for some controversial testimony on whether or not “two” committed suicide. I was wondering what the news would say about our President wearing stripes at dinner. I felt there would be commentary on the state of suburbia, with yet another school takeover taking place. I was greeted with, get this, twenty-one minutes (as of current count) of a police chase.

No high speed here, the person is obeying the limit, they simply don’t have license plates. The newscasters have assured me, after they told me about how he drove through my neighborhood several times, that it is definitely a DUI suspect, then definitely a 187 suspect, then definitely a hit and run, and now it’s a code four suspect. They finally got him in Whittier, but it should be noted he was driving erratically, lost a wheel and hit a fence.

You might be wondering why the LBPD didn’t manage to get the guy when he was over here. Well it should be known they are very busy blocking off streets so the CBS’ “Criminal Minds” crew can safely blow up the intersection of 4th and Atlantic.

it has now been twenty-seven minutes of a car chase, zero minutes of what is happening in our world. I suppose the fact we would displace the half hour of a daily recap with this is some apocalyptic sign, though I’m not sure what would have been shown would have really been much more enlightening. At least we still got the weather.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/09/27/film-at-eleven/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/28/why-wont-they-just-let-me-buy-one/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/28/why-wont-they-just-let-me-buy-one/#comments Fri, 28 Apr 2006 19:13:25 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/28/why-wont-they-just-let-me-buy-one/

I would like to save the world’s population of Cheetah’s. However I don’t want to do it your way. I want to do it one Cheetah at a time. Since those people who were graced with the natural presence of the Cheetah blew it and killed them all, why should we give them more? Why not give them to people who really want a baby Cheetah?

I could start my own Cheetah ranch, and no one would dare question my tact for raising Cheetahs. It has been brought to my attention by one of the most beautiful persons on this earth that baby Cheetah’s eventually grow into full on Cheetah’s who might accidentally endanger my future family. Don’t worry, I’m working on this one.

I’m gonna go make sure Penguins haven’t mysteriously dropped off in population. In the meantime, go save a Cheetah.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/28/why-wont-they-just-let-me-buy-one/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/20/fascination/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/20/fascination/#comments Fri, 21 Apr 2006 07:17:54 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/20/fascination/ I have often been told i am before my time. I suppose everyone is really, but then at some point they must get past their time. I would have fought well in the crusades, I would gladly have slaughtered hundreds of innocent men (so long as I could do so with a sword and with no advantage over them aside from desire). It was a simple time where women and men had easier roles, maybe not appropriate, but we all knew what we would do and where we would be. Destiny was so much brighter.

Fascinating to me is someone who can appreciate an artist. Fascinating to me is someone who only gets caught up in their own mind (and perhaps a few others). Fascinating to me is a mixture of self-promotion and humility. Sometimes i like my gin and tonics equal parts, sometimes i need more gin.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/20/fascination/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/12/forward-falling-forward/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/12/forward-falling-forward/#comments Thu, 13 Apr 2006 06:58:59 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/12/forward-falling-forward/ In what was to become a pivotal moment in my life, soundtracked via Heatmiser ever so suspiciously by a man-who-would-be-genius-if-his-life-weren’t-cut-short, I tripped on my own tears knowing there are some things I am missing more than anything in this world, and some I can’t wait to get away from. And it did, because of me. The fourteen hours past would mean nothing to see that place once more. The one I walked alone because you were in this place again. I could make it there in seven, I can find you before you leave. I will carry on, through all the playlists, through all the versions of “Wonderwall”.

Would it be better to be a chameleon who adapts and changes through short term manipultions of colouring or an animal who completely lives different moments of life through a process of metamorphisis? Ill take the latter, evolving, sort who will never be the person he fell asleep as. I have a destiny, my destiny is to not be me, to not be who I was supposed to be. It is what I must do to always be there.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2006/04/12/forward-falling-forward/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/10/29/the-daylight-revolution/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/10/29/the-daylight-revolution/#comments Sat, 29 Oct 2005 08:23:26 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/10/29/the-daylight-revolution/ “It is official, I am giving up on daylight savings time. I will start a club, there will be membership cards of course; we will flash them incessantly to anyone who proclaims we are late.” And so started the major revolution of Drake’s life; finally his cross had arrived via mail order, and it was unpacked, assembled (without directions), and now ready to bear. Could a cause ever be more just? “That is ridiculous, I get an extra hour of sleep.” You would have thought his girlfriend would have been more supportive, a well educated woman whose thoughts often flirted equally with pure genius and complete insanity. So it would not be an easy one, ridding the world of this plague. The things people do for the sake of a better future.

He had it all figured out, especially the cards, the cards were important. It would be crucial to the clubs existence. There would be discounts made available, a dollar off smoothies, and a free cola with purchase of a gyro. These were very important things to the club; people must realize the multiplicity of benefits from being a part of something revolutionary. Meanwhile her thoughts were on this extra hour, and whether or not this psychologically affects those people whose biological clock wakes them up only at certain times. She was sure even with these risks, that it was for the good. After all, there must be a reason for this change.

“Farmers,” he shouted, “It’s all for some stupid farmers. They can’t sleep in or something, and decide to punish all of us, so now I exit the office to a darkened world. Why do farmers get such preferential treatment in our nation? They get this AND Willy Nelson? Honestly how fair is that?” He was doing research now, lots of it. Lot’s of it meaning very little at all; recalling something he had heard once from his grandfather regarding which season to plant the corn in, pulling random sentences out of an online version of the Farmer’s Almanac. Later he took to the practice of googling every combination of the word’s “Daylight”, “Farmer”, “Savings”, “Irrigation”, “Spring”, “Time” and “Fall”; equally searching for an answer to the origin of this silly practice as he was hoping for a google-whack. He found himself amazed by a website on crop circles, easily wasting 6 hours and convincing himself that somehow farmers were using the time change to hide the secrets of these mysterious occurrences. It was a very logical solution; there really is no reason to get up at those hours of the morning.

She just hoped he would move on; he had moments like these in the past and always moved on, these windmills he would chase and never catch. This one started to worry her, because normally she could come up with some logical challenge to his un-stable life changing ideas. Here she could not. She could only wonder if he was right, after all Arizona doesn’t abide by these time changes. “So why doesn’t Arizona participate?” She never should have brought up Arizona, but it was too late. He was even more fueled, and he somehow managed to hide the fact he really did not know much about Arizona, aside from what the flag looks like and that they had the London Bridge, but including that they in fact do not follow this savings time. He began to organize a trip to Arizona, more research was due; it is lovely in Phoenix this time of year. These people would be allies; those forced out of Arizona would gladly join his club, they would find comfort and familiarity. It would be a support group of sorts for these wayward children of the valley of the sun.

It continued constantly, for days Marissa put up with his sketches and calculations. He was convinced it was algebraic, or some unknown logarithm, it could be so far unknown that even the greatest minds had given up on the problem and simply filled in a bubble at random. “I refuse to take part in the time change this year, I simply won’t give in to something we have no reason for. We will probably need a website for the movement. I wonder if whereisthesavings.com is taken? I will send out an email stating that I am no longer adapting myself to the ludicrous and unwarranted changing of the time. This message will tell people if they need to meet me at 9am, that my 9am will be 10am so they should plan accordingly.” He was actually gaining support at this point. The cards had been printed and he had 17 members, even the local print shop guy that printed the membership cards himself decided he would join, though Drake suspected it was only because he had a far too obvious fondness for Cinn-a-bon’s.

“What time is your hair appointment on Sunday?’ he asked Marissa. She replied it was at 10am, but she wasn’t sure if that was 10am his time, or 10am her time. At this point she was no longer sure if she was going by his time or her time. Also at this point in time he was no longer sure if she was mocking him or supporting him. They settled on nine-thirty, it was a good median. There would always be side effects, and better to be only half an hour early or late than an hour late or on time. Imagine if he showed up on time, where would that show him as a revolutionary to the people? Surely a mutiny would follow.

He wondered to himself if the European nations accepted this mark of fools, or if it was another rebellious American trait. Arizona had the London Bridge; it would make perfect sense if they stole this from the British as well. Finally he questioned Marissa about it. As her heritage was European, she would surely have to know. She simply could not provide a definite answer; this would require more research. “If Britain does not abide by this Daylight Savings, I will definitely never again take part. Britain most certainly handles these situations better than us. After all, they have Paul McCartney.” Marissa actually laughed aloud when he said that, and the awkward silence that followed was one of love mixed with persistence. She knew in that moment he would never give this up, and in the same moment felt a soothing that came from knowing in some way this cause was necessary.

For certain it had improved their relationship. She had countless moments of just smiling as she glanced over at him while he riffled through some half-hearted research. There were the nights they would both lay entwined on the couch watching films on the great depression, crop circles, and World War II. The addition of World War II films to the research came from wandering the historical film section of the local video rental store and realizing ninety percent of this section was World War II films. He was able to completely share his halfway insane thoughts on this time subject with her, while she countered with more than halfway insane thoughts on some other subject. It was a life’s quest that only managed to fill the gaps of their life, never taking it over, and almost entirely existing for comedic relief.

“It has to have been the communists.” Marissa just giggles to herself, “How do communists have anything to do with this?” He began to explain, there really was much more caused by communism than we all think. This was a classic communist idea. He was really going with it, hand’s moving in and out, showing structure and systems. Perhaps the communists were really to blame after all. The similarities were far too aligned in these cases. “See Mar, Communism and this whole time thing, they both look really good on paper and when you think about them, but when they actually go into effect they make no sense at all.” She coolly responds, “Ah, yes. It’s mostly the execution.”

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/10/29/the-daylight-revolution/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/05/02/ten-thousand-year-old-increments/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/05/02/ten-thousand-year-old-increments/#comments Tue, 03 May 2005 06:53:27 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/05/02/ten-thousand-year-old-increments/ I don’t like this air, but do we really know any better. I traveled today across hours in minutes. I froze time once, months ago, and now I have reached its rival, speeding time up. We always hoped it possible, but it only comes as a distraction, I aged 5 more years today, which means im closer than ever to the end, it is felt now, it is certain. I will be filling in the gaps more frequently, taping up the bursting pipes so to speak.

And you forgot to carry a zero.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/05/02/ten-thousand-year-old-increments/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/04/24/return-to-normalcy/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/04/24/return-to-normalcy/#comments Mon, 25 Apr 2005 07:10:05 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/04/24/return-to-normalcy/ A word is not a word until it is first used by someone. That is how it has been in history, that is how it should be today. However instead we say that a word is only these things of old, that we cannot create new, that we must hinder the natural progression of our language. This first of all leaves us with slang, wasted thought on worthless words, not even making communication better.

Secondly, this traps us in a boring lifestyle, we do not learn new words, we do not think of new words. Somehow we have decided there is some mysterious language board somewhere voting on what stays and what goes. And somewhere along the way people seem to slip a few in, under our efforts to stop them. The whole language we speak is a microcasm of the society we created and allow to flourish.

Why should we expect something new, when we are taught everything is a retread. So we constantly keep this pattern going, we constantly do the same things, and never try to truly revolutionize our world. Every once in a while someone sneaks something in, but we hardly notice, in fact once we are presented with something new, we insist it must be the same as something we experienced before. After all there is nothing new under the sun… or is there?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/04/24/return-to-normalcy/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/18/i-woke-up-this-morning/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/18/i-woke-up-this-morning/#comments Sat, 19 Feb 2005 04:38:23 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/18/i-woke-up-this-morning/ Which is a fine start. It is very clear to me that Long Beach is the new Seattle, which was the new London. And this makes alot more sense being the new London. I am here, and she may very well be in London again. She’s always leaving this place I tried to meet her at, and one day I will leave too.

So to the real point of the story, last night I had this dream. They have happened before, she was there. There have been about seven in the series, the first starting with the end of the process. This one was more towards the beginning which made it far harder to deal with. The message I was trying to get through all the radio waves and toaster communication that my brain freelances out was simply one of indifference. I cannot go into the exact specifics of what she said, or what had happened, and if the dreams hadn’t started at the end, than this could definitely be ignored. But the situation is here, and very well could be real.

What if she actually likes Napoleon Dynamite? Like thinks its amazing? What then?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/18/i-woke-up-this-morning/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/03/111/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/03/111/#comments Fri, 04 Feb 2005 05:06:24 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/03/111/

David Eggers, Author/Designer
taken from an interview conducted for “YSKOV(Sacrament)” release.

“You actually asked me the question: “Are you taking any steps to keep shit real?” I want you always to look back on this time as being a time when those words came out of your mouth.

Now, there was a time when such a question – albeit probably without the colloquial spin – would have originated from my own brain. Since I was thirteen, sitting in my orange-carpeted bedroom in ostensibly cutting-edge Lake Forest, Illinois, subscribing to the Village Voice and reading the earliest issues of Spin, I thought I had my ear to the railroad tracks of avant garde America. (Laurie Anderson, for example, had grown up only miles away!) I was always monitoring, with the most sensitive and well-calibrated apparatus, the degree of selloutitude exemplified by any given artist – musical, visual, theatrical, whatever. I was vigilant and merciless and knew it was my job to be so.

I bought R.E.M.’s first EP, Chronic Town, when it came out and thought I had found God. I loved Murmur, Reckoning, but then watched, with greater and greater dismay, as this obscure little band’s audience grew, grew beyond obsessed people like myself, grew to encompass casual fans, people who had heard a song on the radio and picked up Green and listened for the hits. Old people liked them, and stupid people, and my moron neighbor who had sex with truck drivers. I wanted these phony R.E.M.-lovers dead.

But it was the band’s fault, too. They played on Letterman. They switched record labels. Even their album covers seemed progressively more commercial. And when everyone I knew began liking them, I stopped. Had they changed, had their commitment to making art with integrity changed? I didn’t care, because for me, any sort of popularity had an inverse relationship with what you term the keeping ‘real’ of ‘shit.’ When the Smiths became slightly popular they were sellouts. Bob Dylan appeared on MTV and of course was a sellout. Recently, just at dinner tonight, after a huge, sold-out reading by David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell (both sellouts), I was sitting next to an acquaintance, a very smart acquaintance married to the singer-songwriter of a very well-known band. I mentioned that I had seen the Flaming Lips the night before. She rolled her eyes. “Oh I really liked them on 90210,” she sneered, assuming that this would put me and the band in our respective places.

However.

Was she aware that The Flaming Lips had composed an album requiring the simultaneous playing of four separate discs, on four separate CD players? Was she aware that the band had once, for a show at Lincoln Center, handed out to audience members something like 100 portable tape players, with 100 different tapes, and had them all played at the same time, creating a symphonic sort of effect, one which completely devastated everyone in attendance? I went on and on to her about the band’s accomplishments, their experiments. Was she convinced that they were more than their one appearance with Jason Priestly? She was.

Now, at that concert the night before, Wayne Coyne, the lead singer, had himself addressed this issue, and to great effect. After playing much of their new album, the band paused and he spoke to the audience. I will paraphrase what he said:

“Hi. Well, some people get all bitter when some song of theirs gets popular, and they refuse to play it. But we’re not like that. We’re happy that people like this song. So here it goes.”

Then they played the song. (You know the song.) “She Don’t Use Jelly” is the song, and it is a silly song, and it was their most popular song. But to highlight their enthusiasm for playing the song, the band released, from the stage and from the balconies, about 200 balloons. (Some of the balloons, it should be noted, were released by two grown men in bunny suits.) Then while playing the song, Wayne sang with a puppet on his hand, who also sang into the microphone. It was fun. It was good.

But was it a sellout? Probably. By some standards, yes. Can a good band play their hit song? Should we hate them for this? Probably, probably. First 90210, now they go playing the song every stupid night. Everyone knows that 90210 is not cutting edge, and that a cutting edge alternarock band should not appear on such a show. That rule is clearly stated in the obligatory engrained computer-chip sellout manual that we were all given when we hit adolescence.

But this sellout manual serves only the lazy and small. Those who bestow sellouthood upon their former heroes are driven to do so by, first and foremost, the unshakable need to reduce. The average one of us – a taker-in of various and constant media, is absolutely overwhelmed – as he or she should be – with the sheer volume of artistic output in every conceivable medium given to the world every day – it is simply too much to begin to process or comprehend – and so we are forced to try to sort, to reduce. We designate, we label, we diminish, we create hierarchies and categories.

Through largely received wisdom, we rule out Tom Waits’s new album because it’s the same old same old, and we save $15. U2 has lost it, Radiohead is too popular. Country music is bad, Puff Daddy is bad, the last Wallace book was bad because that one reviewer said so. We decide that TV is bad unless it’s the Sopranos. We liked Rick Moody and Jonathan Lethem and Jeffrey Eugenides until they allowed their books to become movies. And on and on. The point is that we do this and to a certain extent we must do this. We must create categories, and to an extent, hierarchies.

But you know what is easiest of all? When we dismiss.

Oh how gloriously comforting, to be able to write someone off. Thus, in the overcrowded pantheon of alternarock bands, at a certain juncture, it became necessary for a certain brand of person to write off The Flaming Lips, despite the fact that everyone knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that their music was superb and groundbreaking and real. We could write them off because they shared a few minutes with Jason Priestley and that terrifying Tori Spelling person. Or we could write them off because too many magazines have talked about them. Or because it looked like the bassist was wearing too much gel in his hair.

One less thing to think about. Now, how to kill off the rest of our heroes, to better make room for new ones?

We liked Guided by Voices until they let Ric Ocasek produce their latest album, and everyone knows Ocasek is a sellout, having written those mushy Cars songs in the late 80s, and then – gasp! – produced Weezer’s album, and of course Weezer’s no good, because that Sweater song was on the radio, right, and dorky teenage girls were singing it and we cannot have that and so Weezer is bad and Ocasek is bad and Guided by Voices are bad, even if Spike Jonze did direct that one Weezer video, and we like Spike Jonze, don’t we?

Oh. No. We don’t. We don’t like him anymore because he’s married to Sofia Coppola, and she is not cool. Not cool. So bad in Godfather 3, such nepotism. So let’s check off Spike Jonze – leaving room in our brains for… who??

It’s exhausting.

The only thing worse than this sort of activity is when people, students and teachers alike, run around college campuses calling each other racists and anti-Semites. It’s born of boredom, lassitude. Too cowardly to address problems of substance where such problems actually are, we claw at those close to us. We point to our neighbor, in the khakis and sweater, and cry foul. It’s ridiculous. We find enemies among our peers because we know them better, and their proximity and familiarity means we don’t have to get off the couch to dismantle them.

And now, I am also a sellout. Here are my sins, many of which you may know about already:

First, I was a sellout because Might magazine took ads.
Then I was a sellout because our pages were color, and not stapled together at the Kinko’s.
Then I was a sellout because I went to work for Esquire.
Now I’m a sellout because my book has sold many copies.
And because I have done many interviews.
And because I have let people take my picture.
And because my goddamn picture has been in just about every fucking magazine and newspaper printed in America.

And now, as far as McSweeney’s is concerned, The Advocate interviewer wants to know if we’re losing also our edge, if the magazine is selling out, hitting the mainstream, if we’re still committed to publishing unknowns, and pieces killed by other magazines.

And the fact is, I don’t give a fuck. When we did the last issue, this was my thought process: I saw a box. So I decided we’d do a box. We were given stories by some of our favorite writers – George Saunders, Rick Moody (who is uncool, uncool!), Haruki Murakami, Lydia Davis, others – and so we published them. Did I wonder if people would think we were selling out, that we were not fulfilling the mission they had assumed we had committed ourselves to?

No. I did not. Nor will I ever. We just don’t care. We care about doing what we want to do creatively. We want to be interested in it. We want it to challenge us. We want it to be difficult. We want to reinvent the stupid thing every time. Would I ever think, before I did something, of how those with sellout monitors would respond to this or that move? I would not. The second I sense a thought like that trickling into my brain, I will put my head under the tires of a bus.

You want to know how big a sellout I am?

A few months ago I wrote an article for Time magazine and was paid $12,000 for it. I am about to write something, 1,000 words, 3 pages or so, for something called Forbes ASAP, and for that I will be paid $6,000 For two years, until five months ago, I was on the payroll of ESPN magazine, as a consultant and sometime contributor. I was paid handsomely for doing very little. Same with my stint at Esquire. One year I spent there, with little to no duties. I wore khakis every day. Another Might editor and I, for almost a year, contributed to Details magazine, under pseudonyms, and were paid $2000 each for what never amounted to more than 10 minutes work – honestly never more than that. People from Hollywood want to make my book into a movie, and I am probably going to let them do so, and they will likely pay me a great deal of money for the privilege.

Do I care about this money? I do. Will I keep this money? Very little of it. Within the year I will have given away almost a million dollars to about 100 charities and individuals, benefiting everything from hospice care to an artist who makes sculptures from Burger King bags. And the rest will be going into publishing books through McSweeney’s. Would I have been able to publish McSweeney’s if I had not worked at Esquire? Probably not. Where is the $6000 from Forbes going? To a guy named Joe Polevy, who wants to write a book about the effects of radiator noise on children in New England.

Now, what if I were keeping all the money? What if I were buying property in St. Kitt’s or blew it all on live-in prostitutes? What if, for example, I was, a few nights ago, sitting at a table in SoHo with a bunch of Hollywood slash celebrity acquaintances, one of whom I went to high school with, and one of whom was Puff Daddy? Would that make me a sellout? Would that mean I was a force of evil?

What if a few nights before that I was at the home of Julian Schnabel, at a party featuring Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro, and at which Schnabel said we should get together to talk about him possibly directing my movie? And what if I said sure, let’s?

Would all that make me a sellout? Would I be uncool? Would it have been more cool to not go to this party, or to not have written that book, or done that interview, or to have refused millions from Hollywood?

The thing is, I really like saying yes. I like new things, projects, plans, getting people together and doing something, trying something, even when it’s corny or stupid. I am not good at saying no. And I do not get along with people who say no. When you die, and it really could be this afternoon, under the same bus wheels I’ll stick my head if need be, you will not be happy about having said no. You will be kicking your ass about all the no’s you’ve said. No to that opportunity, or no to that trip to Nova Scotia or no to that night out, or no to that project or no to that person who wants to be naked with you but you worry about what your friends will say.

No is for wimps. No is for pussies. No is to live small and embittered, cherishing the opportunities you missed because they might have sent the wrong message.

There is a point in one’s life when one cares about selling out and not selling out. One worries whether or not wearing a certain shirt means that they are behind the curve or ahead of it, or that having certain music in one’s collection means that they are impressive, or unimpressive.

Thankfully, for some, this all passes. I am here to tell you that I have, a few years ago, found my way out of that thicket of comparison and relentless suspicion and judgment. And it is a nice feeling. Because, in the end, no one will ever give a shit who has kept shit ‘real’ except the two or three people, sitting in their apartments, bitter and self-devouring, who take it upon themselves to wonder about such things. The keeping real of shit matters to some people, but it does not matter to me. It’s fashion, and I don’t like fashion, because fashion does not matter.

What matters is that you do good work. What matters is that you produce things that are true and will stand. What matters is that the Flaming Lips’s new album is ravishing and I’ve listened to it a thousand times already, sometimes for days on end, and it enriches me and makes me want to save people. What matters is that it will stand forever, long after any narrow-hearted curmudgeons have forgotten their appearance on goddamn 90210. What matters is not the perception, nor the fashion, not who’s up and who’s down, but what someone has done and if they meant it. What matters is that you want to see and make and do, on as grand a scale as you want, regardless of what the tiny voices of tiny people say. Do not be critics, you people, I beg you. I was a critic and I wish I could take it all back because it came from a smelly and ignorant place in me, and spoke with a voice that was all rage and envy. Do not dismiss a book until you have written one, and do not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a person until you have met them. It is a fuckload of work to be open-minded and generous and understanding and forgiving and accepting, but Christ, that is what matters. What matters is saying yes.

I say yes, and Wayne Coyne says yes, and if that makes us the enemy, then good, good, good. We are evil people because we want to live and do things. We are on the wrong side because we should be home, calculating which move would be the least damaging to our downtown reputations. But I say yes because I am curious. I want to see things. I say yes when my high school friend tells me to come out because he’s hanging with Puffy. A real story, that. I say yes when Hollywood says they’ll give me enough money to publish a hundred different books, or send twenty kids through college. Saying no is so fucking boring.

And if anyone wants to hurt me for that, or dismiss me for that, for saying yes, I say Oh do it, do it you motherfuckers, finally, finally, finally. “

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2005/02/03/111/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/15/complicated-simple/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/15/complicated-simple/#comments Tue, 16 Dec 2003 06:13:21 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/15/complicated-simple/ So sitting here deciding which hardcover edition of books I already have read to purchase makes up my time. And I contemplate my decision making ability, as of late it has failed me. Am I so wrong in so many circumstances? Have I created this alternate mindset, that the rest of the world hasn’t followed me into? Everything I see going down one path, definately goes down the other.

Are there even two paths? Are things inversely proportionate in my mind? Maybe it just needs more sauldering. A connection is loose, after all I was made in the USA. Is it so hard to fathom that it actually works out, or is it the fact that I cannot fathom this that makes it not work? So do I try even less, and like they all are telling me it works out? Or is giving up a logical decision.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/15/complicated-simple/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/13/the-spring-predictives/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/13/the-spring-predictives/#comments Sat, 13 Dec 2003 08:16:01 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/13/the-spring-predictives/ I’m pretty sure I will marry someone famous, or someone famous’ ex-
wife, or someone famous’ illegitimate daughter, or just a model who is
not really famous but gets us into all the Vogue parties. Or someone who
is absolutely so amazing that she is famous to me and that’s all that
matters.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/12/13/the-spring-predictives/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/11/10/if-we-never-said-hello-do-we-have-to-say-goodbye/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/11/10/if-we-never-said-hello-do-we-have-to-say-goodbye/#comments Mon, 10 Nov 2003 19:30:02 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/11/10/if-we-never-said-hello-do-we-have-to-say-goodbye/ And the end. It’s always the end that gets us. A brick wall to the chase, A locked door at the end of the hall. And we cannot forget what led to this point, but we cannot go back. There is a reason it is the end, time is slowing down, things are becoming more like they should have been.

Once we tought the world was flat, and it is round. Now we think things are linear, when they may not be. And yet if it all is this way there is no end, there is no end at all.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/11/10/if-we-never-said-hello-do-we-have-to-say-goodbye/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/rock-over-london-rock-on-chicago/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/rock-over-london-rock-on-chicago/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2003 21:03:33 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/rock-over-london-rock-on-chicago/ I myself am not sure how it felt when Elvis died, or when JFK was ripped from their hearts, or when the plane went down that took out Ritchie Valens, or when Lennon was stolen from pop culture, but I now can imagine. I experienced the loss of many, Kurt Cobain, Micheal Hutchence, Brad Nowell, River Phoenix, George Harrison, Gregory Hines, Tony Scott, Herb Brooks, Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopez, JFK Jr., Aaliyah, Trevor Goddard, Kevin “Dino” Conner, Preston Buchanan, James Tillotson Whitehead, but none have hit me as hard as today.

Today I learned a revolutionary force in the musical world is gone. Working with such amazing talents as Rick Rubin and Jello Biafra, and recording somewhere near 50 albums, no one has shown us such amazing will power as Wesley Willis. I will simply say I miss him, and Chicago is at a loss without him. True performers are always taken early because they give so much to this world, and sadly all we have left today are those gifts.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/rock-over-london-rock-on-chicago/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/neon-signs-and-5-lane-exits/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/neon-signs-and-5-lane-exits/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2003 08:12:11 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/neon-signs-and-5-lane-exits/ So after a week-ending, because it included part of the week, of roadtrips and concerts it puts quite a nice spin on the world. You never really know how resourceful you can be until it hits you in a parking lot, and yes jumper cables are so much more valuable to me. We all seem to forget, until a good road trip, how much you need to get away. Just break free and drive anywhere, maybe Phoenix while people are in the back asleep.

A different town’s not much different when your there, it’s just how it feels to drive, clear phone calls when your friends call every one in the car’s cell phones, catch drug runners in action, spend hours making signs to hold out to no one, meet random people in random places saying random things to get them to hang out with you, never figuring out exactly what number she left on the voicemail after an hour and at least 70 numbers dialed, naked people hugging non-naked people, camera phones are a must, maybe we’ll take the 1 back, Avril Lavigne’s sweet sounds from the speaker of the car, whatever means is neccesary get to Krispy Kreme.

On the transition, seeing good friends in town, even if they were here 3 weeks ago, and seeing good people’s hard work paying off dull’s much of this world. We need more good people, but what do we do with the bad? Can we work out some sort of free trade agreement?

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/23/neon-signs-and-5-lane-exits/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/09/you-gotta-have-your-moments/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/09/you-gotta-have-your-moments/#comments Sat, 09 Aug 2003 22:56:51 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/09/you-gotta-have-your-moments/ I don’t know what I want but I should find it, at least before it’s found in the darkness. And it’s not so much that I’m afraid of the darkness, but the simple truth known only to myself at this moment. You cannot see very well in the darkness, and if my judgment is to be impaired on such an important decision, than how truly life-changing can it become. So I’m there looking at everything as if it is some collection of souvenirs of vacations long gone.

Seeing little pieces, with memories attached, and I don’t seem to remember the order in which it all happened. I was young once. I’m not what you’d consider old, but if I belonged in this time than it would all be different. As I watch and recollect for the first time in years I start to see it is not my life, or at least not the way I want to remember it. There is this defining moment in my life, and than I realize it’s just the latest, these were all defining moments. Add another to the list. So I’ve spent years doing things I spent days forgetting about, and I wonder how much I will really care about or even acknowledge when I’m older.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/08/09/you-gotta-have-your-moments/feed/ 1 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/13/a-night-on-the-mesa/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/13/a-night-on-the-mesa/#comments Mon, 14 Jul 2003 01:32:50 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/13/a-night-on-the-mesa/ I was at this party Friday night, no Saturday, because Friday was dinner and sit in the kids section at Borders reading magazines night. All my friends were drinking, and they were drinking Ice House which must be the worst beer ever made, and I was so over it. I wanted to push people in the pool, spin the turntables, stage a takeover. Some girl came up to me, hugged me and I didn’t know her name. Someone was crying,the jacuzzi looked like a rotting thing of 1972 construction, terrible industrial trance was playing and more people I didnt know said “Hello.” I realized why I left before I did, remembered why these friends were limited to one social outing every 3 weeks and found I am not happy even visiting my former self.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/13/a-night-on-the-mesa/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/04/who-would-honestly-build-a-city-in-a-desert/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/04/who-would-honestly-build-a-city-in-a-desert/#comments Fri, 04 Jul 2003 08:05:14 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/04/who-would-honestly-build-a-city-in-a-desert/ It’s all so surreal though, the situation, how we met. Every conversation we have there in my memory as if I only dreamed it. Maybe I am just piecing together all the great moments before the fall from all my past situations. It’s just a compilation, a really good compilation. So she calls, and she only calls when I don’t expect it, and half the time her words are brilliance, and strangely enough the other half isn’t just me talking. I wonder as Im listening to her if I hung up and called her back would she really be there, I’ve thought about doing it, actually hanging up the phone, in mid-sentence to dodge suspicion, but I can’t risk it. Of course I already know the future, it’s not that I’m acknowledging some inner gift, I just know the plans. She’s moving away, she doesn’t live close to begin with and she’s moving farther. And when she get’s back from her stay oceans away, she will at least share this continent with me for a while. All I can really hope for is continuence of the motivation. Ever since we met, motivation. We talked for hours, well I wanted it to be hours. And I listened, she makes me want to listen. And we had things in common, that’s all. I never thought it would go anywhere, and it hasn’t. Her letters, as she typed to me filling me in on each random thought. Those were what caught me, those were what was so powerful. She is so much more interesting than anything else, and so real.

As my parent’s close in on old I am noticing I need to devote more time to them. And I’m at my Fathers and we been have playing golf all day, mostly worried if I look the part. So we are there, He, a family friend, and I; and we are reminiscing. We think of old times we had, we’ll mostly that they had and I reflect forward on similar ones I might have at some point in my life. And I realize it is never good to swear you “smoke pot and forget it” in front of your Father. So my Step-Mother begins the grilling, “are you dating anyone?” To which I always want to reply something, but none really seem that special, and any great joke would only prove confusing. And I’m not gay.

She, this is the interesting one, asked if people think I’m gay (they do) and she clearly pointed out all my gay qualities. I am okay, I have confidence in my woman liking abilities, they will not fade. After all, she is interesting.

I live with my Mother but rarely see her. My hours are spent out, making sure the things I do are done, no one really understands me, what I do. So we agree on dinner and I eventually get home from work to wait as she takes a phone call for 20 minutes. Yes I was late, but the phone was after I was there, and it still lasts 20 minutes. So I drive to dinner, as apparantley Mom has had a few glasses of wine. We discuss plans for vacation, a few days off for me to fly to Sedona, to the timeshare. Talk turns to her Father who is altogether great, and at times my nemesis. His status is on the decline, and although I am confident it is normal and he is doing good for his age, it affects my Mother. She is suggesting I spend time there this weekend, and I agree. As we are seated I notice Mom is a little loud, and can’t remember what she wanted to order. I do not fully grasp the part of the conversation where “a few drinks” apparantley meant drunk. We begin the conversation about the vacation again, I hit all my marks, my lines are solid. I look for a cut, but we are apparently still rolling. We discuss a barbeque at the house this weekend that my sister will be having, and how I should go. This however conflicts with the “my hanging out with her Father” plans we made in the previous take. She suggests she meant some time, that she is staying the night there so I would not come. I look around the room, something has changed.

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]]> http://randallpauljenkins.com/2003/07/04/who-would-honestly-build-a-city-in-a-desert/feed/ 0 http://randallpauljenkins.com/2002/06/06/the-once-traveled-shall-return/ http://randallpauljenkins.com/2002/06/06/the-once-traveled-shall-return/#comments Fri, 07 Jun 2002 05:27:30 +0000 R.P. Jenkins, Esq. http://randallpauljenkins.com/2002/06/06/the-once-traveled-shall-return/ You wake up, shower. Black shirt or Blue? Black. Coffee or Tea? Black… Coffee. The day begins; you walk out your door. Meanwhile in the rest of the world they do the same. You get in your car, slide the next hit into the stereo. You drive away, never noticing she has the same routine. He turns before you at the stoplight, singing the next hit. His mind is on the road, your mind is on the road, and her mind is on the guy who just drove by. You are all just particles moving in a stream, just endless junk in the mass, not necessary for being. You head towards the highway, the sun now shines bright so you reach for your sunglasses, the same one’s that line their brow.

A glimpse of a childhood memory, one of freedom and of change. You see the roads before the highway, the simpleness in them. These roads now are desolate, the places you learned these now robotic ways of steering and braking. These roads you know so well, yet visit so little. Some have never seen this road, it was not part of them. But the road sometimes calls out to them, and someday they may test its curves. You slam the car into third, the motor starts to whine. You slide around the turn, the girl now noticing you as you drive. She maintains her course, just as he does too.

They stay in what is simple, what you don’t have to work for. Your heart races as you’re on the road, you change out your cd. A release is overwhelming, you are now focused determined. The road was never invisible, your mind just made it so. The harder lines, and steeper grades cause you to drive with more control. Soon it all comes back to you, and you feel so much more than just a photocopy of the person on TV. A simple pleasure denied by a routine turned to habit, a thought process lost. You feel something different, and take enjoyment in.

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